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I've had HPPD for 4 years now following a few years of heavy drug use and the main culprates which were 2 life changing bad trips which left me with severe PTSD, Anxiety, Depression and many other problems, or atlesst it exacerbated my already unrecognized childhood issues which I thought weren't too bad or gen non existent. The point of this thread was to share my story and what I've learned to find hope and happiness, even oneness with myself. Im still in the thick of HPPD recovery in the sense that I still suffer daily with the fear, ocd's phobias and manic depression but I have found what I'd call enlightenment or what I think is Thebes start of. during recovery I've tried to find every answer, I changed my diet I've been completely sober of all substance for 2 years, I had an emasculate routine and diet, I did exercise everyday, all revolved around my illness HPPD and other illness, I was a slave to my mind. In simple I found acceptance, I also realized I was part of a spiritual journey, I know to many it sounds naff, it did to me for years but when you find acceptance to your HPPD and acceptance to the fact you've become part of a higher spiritual initiation (is what's I call Amir as it makes sense to me and I hope to you) it becomes easier. the main issue with HPPD is questioning it, fighting it, researching WHY, but the answers only come the day you decide to live and accept whatever the fucks going on which trust me I know at times can feel like interdimentional head fuckery - so you guys know I've been to the darkest depths of this illness - I've anxiety so bad I thought I became fear it's self whatever that is, I've traveled into distant realms of depression, anger and emotional retardation, I tried to end my life twice Andy became and out and out drug addict in attempt to resolve it but what helped me again was accepting what was... just was.. it's bigger then me, it's higher then me or at least my self and my ego so just let it happen. The article that essentially triggered this view on life for me explained that most of us experiencing these extreme feelings, emotionally retarded, anxiety, visuals are those who have been swept into an ego death or spiritual birth which they explain a lot better, i know it may sound ridiculous to some and I was one of those some, so I'd recommend highly to accept it. Accept the feelings and your happier better soul will give birth, resist these feelings and fight the illness and it'll grow as it's a clever cunt. This is the article which explains acceptance and the ego death. http://vividlife.me/ultimate/17379/when-the-ego-dies-experience-of-spiritual-growing-pain/ P.S. don't rule out other coping mechanisms, they all help in some ways or at least most of them, diet, routine and medication. Ive tried almost every medication but it wasn't for me but I have heard of some cases that helped hugely. P.P.S. Specific to HPPDers, when you find acceptance, your ego and visuals will get worse or should I say they did in my case for a bit, they're part of your ego or stleast the negative part of your HPPD is so they react like a child and try to cling onto your self as if they don't want to die which is what the birth of your soul will do. I'd also like to mention I am no pro, I am just going off experience, I have just practiced mindfulness, meditations and spirituality during my recovery. I hope this helps anyone suffering or even those not sufferent, just looking for a bit of help. One love. Charlie
This is mainly to the newcomers like myself. For those of you just entering your days of hppd, take it from someone who also hasnt had it for very long, ive only had it for 3 months. The first month to months could very well be a hellish ride straight to satans throne. But one thing id tell you is to not lose hope, insert yourself into discussions with friends and on forums(not just about hppd but anything) take some recommended vitamins like vitamin d3 and b complex and magnesium, get a therapist you can talk to and stay active, all these things will help you get better. While my visual symptoms have not subsided, my physical symptoms on the other hand have. Ive always had social anxiety tho, so for the most part i would say i definitely feel like myself again. I attempted suicide in my first month and its now my third month and im so glad i never did. If theres three things of most importance i could tell you to do 1. Acceptance(accept this is your life as of right now, you cant dwell on the fact you MIGHT have this for the rest of your life because you also MIGHT NOT. My girlfriend told me i just need to take it one day at a time, we live day by day not month by month or day by month, you dont know if youll have this tomorrow or a month from now or a year, which leads to my second) 2. Never give up hope (Accepting that you have it in my opinion is a great step to recovery. But also being hopeful in the possibility of recovery is very important) Acceptance and being positive/hopeful are two great things to feel towards hppd. Its at that point imo you can feel true improvement and recovery. 3. CEASE ALL DRUGS. I cant stress that one enough, let your brain rest. Those in my opinion are the three best things to do when faced with hppd. Granted i may have it milder than a lot of hppders but i do want you guys to know i havent smoked or dosed since the onset, i drank maybe 3 or 4 times(avoid that too if you can) i also have a foot injury right now but most of my improvement came when i was going to the gym and running and sweating like a dog. Hppd isnt the end, but in a lot of ways its an eye opener.