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So I did 1.75g of shrooms three days ago. Ever since streetlights have appeared brighter with visible halos as if the exposure setting was set too long on a camera. I can see color hues and brightness contrasts more starkly. Basically it looks like I'm at the beginning stages of tripping where everything looks more vivid... but I'm sober. I do remember things subtly changing a little bit after the last time I did LSD but it was a lot more subtle and I basically chalked it up to being able to appreciate colors and lights more after the trip. Now after shrooms it feels really apparent. Personally I'm enjoying it. Night time is hella beautiful and extremely calming. I don't know if this is permanent or completely unrelated to HPPD. I've done shrooms before and none of the visual symptoms ever carried over after the trip. I'm sorta alarmed but I don't have any of the visual snow or any other symptoms other than everything looks brighter and more vivid. Like J.J. Abrams made me a special pair of glasses. I'm also psychologically fine and I don't see anything in particular when I close my eyes. Did I just forget that streetlights at night are bright and make streaking halos or did my perception physically change? This is a good approximation of how I'm seeing things. albeit a little more colorfully vivid:

I believe there are others on this forum suffering from bipolar disorder also... I am wondering if any of you have noticed changes in your hppd symptoms during depressive and manic episodes? I was on Lamictal for about a year and it helped with both, but at the beginning of this summer I quitted cold after forgetting to take it for several days and thinking I was still feeling ok. The hppd symptoms came back after a while, but they didn't bother me much so I somehow delayed taking my meds until today.... I guess lately I've been going through my first hypomanic episode since I got hppd, and during this time it seems like my hppd symptoms got better. Which scares me, because I've been impulsively doing drugs again... (When I'm depressed, I don't do any drugs because even before hppd, everything I did led to panic attacks) I actually feel quite ok, It feels nice to be able to do drugs and have fun again... I sometimes think that maybe it's just me being paranoid, maybe I'm actually cured... But I recognized this pattern a few days ago, after my second lsd trip this month. The last time I was feeling and acting this way, I ended up having HPPD. I'm scared of what could happen after this illusion of feeling good is gone. I started taking Lamictal again today, I hope that it will help the way it did before... I would like to hear about your experiences... Also, I know that same neurotransmitters are affecting both conditions in some way, but I don't understand the mechanisms that much and would like to learn about it more. Any reading suggestions?

Hello fellow inmates, This August will mark the 28th anniversay of my hppd event. I can't gloss it over, it's been tough. Although I knew a few students in college who had persisting halos, trails and strobe motions visuals - my problem is different. The Facebook page for this site currently has an example of the floaters and flashes, sparks and static that I see every day. For the most part, my life has been good. But, my hppd has been a big contributer to serious bouts of depression and anxiety. It has impacted my life in significantly negative ways. Luckily, when I am doing well, the floaters and flashes don't bother me much. I cope with them. If I am stressed and depressed? they bother me much more. Finally, in 2012, I discovered that my condition had a medical term and that my symptoms were not unique. All the doctors and therapists I had discussed this with had never heard of a permanent visual side effects from LSD. About five years into my hppd, I was lucky to have a neurologist who took me serioulsy and ordered a Visual field test, PET and MRI. He claimed that there may be some slight abnormality in my optic cyasm - the junction where the two optic nerves meet and then enter the brain. They can diagnose this by a delay in the signals from the eyes to the visual centers of the brain. I've recently looked into other visual problems that are related to the optic nerve and one -- optic nerve atrophy - it rather interesting. Although the condition causes faded and washed out vision, this related information seemed relevant to me: "The optic nerve can also be damaged by shock, various toxic substances, radiation, and trauma." Of course, the "various toxic substances" caught my eye. So, I started thinking that perhaps blotter acid (toxic substances) with a questionable additive do some optic nerve damage? This is just a theory. But, I think it's worth considering. Has anyone else come up with a neuroligical explaination? I am so grateful for this forum. I look forward to connecting. Hope to connect with all of you soon. -Dante

Hi everyone, first time poster I have had severe HPPD and DP/DR for 3 years now, I am seeing a new psychiatrist who wishes to to try an older class of Antidepressant, specifically the TCA clomipramine. The SSRI lexapro was also something she was willing to consider. I have tried Keppra, clonazepam, sinemet and xanax. The only drug that worked was xanax but it made my visuals 10 times worse after I went through withdrawl. I am extremely sensitive to these medications and I was really hoping someone could give some insight on the aforementioned TCA's and SSRI'S. Out of my visual symptoms I have visual snow and incredibly severe palinopsia to the point that peoples faces after I look at them will have a very detailed after image when I look away. This goes for anything I look at. It all started from a bad trip 3 years ago, it was not my first trip, and I had taken dmt and mushrooms in the months leading up to it. No doctor in Australia will prescribe someone long term benzos (they are all very benzophobic down here) so this is my last chance with medication, I just dont want to make it any worse, if that happens I wont find any reason to live. cheers J

It's just something I can't explain, in the way that it doesn't even make sense to myself. I can't emphasize my hatred for inanimate objects without sounding like a fool or insane. Like the way I hate trees rustling in the breeze, how tires grinding against the pavement sends me to hell. People rubbing their faces puts me in a bad mindset as well. It's not something anyone can understand unless they've experienced it themselves. These are the after effects of a bad trip, the things nobody tells you about. They'll tell you how great psychedelics are, the mind altering freedom persuading you to try it. And sure, it was an incredible experience. For awhile. I find myself with various triggers in the oddest things. I hate it. I'm aware of the intensity behind the word "hate," that's exactly why I use it. It's hard not do be disgusted with the world when you constantly feel out of your own body, floating, like your feet continue on while your head is held back; like the floor is 5 feet closer while you're 50 feet taller. I don't know how to sufficiently express myself. No combination of words could do justice to the hell I've experienced in correlation to my hppd. Previous therapists/psychiatrists of mine call it "panic," and I really can't stand using that term. That's not what this is. It's so much more than a word. Panic. Hppd. Flashbacks. They don't suffice. I fucking hate words. You know when you know your elbow and your funny bone goes limp? That's how it initially feels when an episode strikes, except my whole body goes numb, even my head. I melt. It's the remaining headspace around my brain is just one massive clusterfuck that I can't make any sense of. My temples start pulsing, like something demonic and superior is squeezing the living shit out of my insides, altering all ability to think rationally. I can't even form complete thoughts. Everything just becomes one, faded, irrational mesh of doom. The melting sensations are almost unbearable, especially when I stroke my hair or legs while thinking about my last LSD trip. Everything slows down, almost as if my brain is incapable of processing sense of touch until after I've already touched myself. It freaks me out. Sometimes I even hallucinate, although I don't think that's the word I'd use to correctly describe it. Things just start moving, spiraling into nonsense as if I'm still tripping. It's only happened twice, but each time I was driving and the road adapted into one concrete image. Most people I've explained this to thinks it sounds "cool," that I'm able to "trip balls" without drugging myself. It's not cool and those people are idiots. It takes me back to those devilish thoughts, the muffled/hollow/bass heavy sounds. The clouded headspace. Friends of mine who still persistently trip always tell me to "just go with it and let it run it's course." Easier said than done. I don't think they understand the inconvenience of it all. I'd like to go about my day without feeling like Im going to flop into a noodle at any given moment. I read up on hppd when I first became interested in trying LSD, but it never really occurred to me that it could actually happen to someone, especially not myself. It's not that I wasn't careful of my surroundings of my surroundings or unaware of my current mood, I just didn't understanding the intensity of having a bad trip. I guess I should've paid more attention to my state of mind. I mean, I'm not bashing how the mind works or the places it's taken me. My perspective is entirely altered and I finally feel up to par with my intellectual level. It just sucks. I wish it could be done with. At the same time, though, I don't know if I'd be okay with that. I like being vulnerable, sad. It's sick and twisted but it's all I've ever known. It's comfortable because it's so uncomfortable. I hate it, but I love it. The worst part is that I hardly remember anything from that night. My old therapist told me to record everything that happened, word for word, but I never did. I told her otherwise, promised I was doing all my exercises. I lied. I was too chicken then, for it wasn't just a state of mind, but me in all my essence. It's repulsive how something so destructive can have such a wrath over someone. It was a year ago yesterday since I my first episode, since I first realized that I may have hppd. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, all things considered, especially the date. I thought my dangerous thoughts, the constant body high, the flashbacks, and the intense visuals would have subsided by now. I thought wrong. Nothing's changed, they've just become more bearable. I'm stronger now because of this, but that doesn't make it any easier. The subconscious mind is a powerful thing and if not addressed correctly, things will only get worse. My mind has become a fucking wrecking ball. Better late than never, I've decided to practice what has been preached in hopes that it'll lead me into a healthier state of mind. I used to claim that I wanted to go back to my initial mindset, pre-LSD, but that was just the naivety in me talking, the panic. You can't undo what has already been done and that's something I've had to push myself into coming to terms with, regardless of how fucking common sense the statement is. I've seen 3 therapists in the past year. They all assumed this was panic and none of them would come to terms with the idea that I have hppd. I'm now taking clonozapam. It makes me dizzy and forget things when I take it. It makes me lose my head when I don't. I don't like being dependent on drugs anymore and I've actually managed up to 5 days without the pill, but after breaking into cold sweats and explaining to yourself in the mirror how greatly you want to die, you crack. I'd like to make it known that I'm in a much brighter place now in comparison to last september, along with all the months that have followed. I get better everyday because every morning when I wake up, my eyes are a little deeper. Acid did that to me, and although I may not remember every detail from that night, or the vast majority of it for that matter, I'm a changed person and I am grateful for that. I'm able to accept the world for what it is as opposed to how I'd like to portray it. I don't lie to myself anymore. I don't see the point in it, all self loathing brings is sadness. I've already admitted to liking sadness, but I'm on a personal journey to stop wallowing in it. I have hppd, and it sucks. Anyone who has it understands this and there is no need for explanation. It's just nice to know that someone else is feeling what you're feeling. I'm not alone and neither are you.

Hi guys, im a fellow hppd sufferer and my name is dan. I started smoking weed around age 17 or so and loved it, so I continued to do so until a few months ago after developing hppd. Im currently 20 years old, enrolled as a student at a community college and have had multiple jobs in the past including machine operator, party rental laborer, and landscaper. During the course of my smoking, I started to get into heavier and heavier drugs and ended up doing LSD about 4 times, mushrooms about 5, molly around 4 and other things such as methadone, pills and a bunch of other fun stuff. I always thought I was under control of the drugs I was using, which was correct to an extent because I never got to the point where I used drugs every day. But, as we all know, substance abuse can quickly get out of hand. The fateful night that led ultimately to my hppd involved me and a friend of mine waiting on a connect to score some mushrooms. We waited for hours, thinking he would never get there, and he ended up showing up late at night with acid instead of shrooms. The friends I was with at the time were antsy to begin with so we were content with dropping the acid and putting the wait behind us. I took 3 tabs in overconfidence and after about 30 minutes I began to feel the effects and started driving on the highway and smoking a blunt with the friend I went with to get the "shrooms" and the trip started to get very intense. I dropped him off at his house and I went home too. I started to get a deep feeling of dread along with severe paranoia and feeling that I was going to die. There were extremely intense visuals involved, and I had a hallucination that I thought at the time encompassed the theme of the universe but its very hard to describe. It was kinda like a huge bright light in the upper-right hand corner of my vision and a sewer in the lower left that had rats and vines trying to escape, but kept getting knocked back by the light. I ended up going to the hospital and having saline pumped through my veins to clear the toxicity and the hellish trip finally subsided. The next day, all I wanted to do was smoke some weed to calm my nerves, but when I did, I felt like the trip was coming back all over again and I went home to calm down. A few days later, i came to grips with the fact that I had symptoms that weren't going away. I started to research my symptoms immediately and found that I definitely have at least mild hppd. My symptoms include: Tracers (black squiggly lines that move about occasionally) Afterimages Sensitivity to light Visual snow Some degree of dp/dr with cognitive losses slight anxiety and depression So its been about 2 months and ive been trying different things to resolve these issues such as valerian root, GABA, 5Htp, fish oil and vitamins B and C. Im not too sure what works the best yet, but valerian root seems to be a lifesaver for me right now. My symptoms are a bit less worse than they were when I first got them, but im now abstaining from all drug and alcohol use and im slowly feeling better over time. Im so glad that I found a place where there are people like me suffering with what I thought was a very rare disorder. Thanks for reading my story everyone Best wishes, Dan

Hey everybody I'm suffering from what i believe to be hppd from an LSD trip 3 months ago. i've also been experimenting with all sorts of drugs in the past. My symptoms are mainly visual snow all day (it get worse at night and in the dark), some after images and that awful feeling of being here but not here and that nothing seems real, like being in a haze, disconnected from everything (DP/DR). At first the doctors thought i had a psychosis and put me on an anti-psychotic (olanzapine) that didn't really help and an SSRI antidepressant (escitalopram) for the depression. After doing some research and talking to my psychiatrist he agreed to let me try Keppra next month. I'm gonna have an EEG and a blood test done (already got a MRT that showed nothing). I'm gonna keep you updated i hope that it will work

Hey People, so im in Holland since a Month now, the first week i smoked high Quality weed (Dutch-Weed is fucking awesome ) but now i dont have enough money and cant buy more....so since 3 weeks im clean of weed and all other shit, the first time since 3 years......My Visual Snow decreased but strangely now i jump "Frames" and have a light Headache at the Backside of my head. It´s like lightsources would turn off for some Miliseconds, like jumping a FPS. I never had that before and only appears since i stopped smoking. I got that really often a day and just wondered if someone had the same symptoms? Unfortunately i can start smoking again in 1 or 2 days so right now i cant tell if it will go away if i start smoking again. I dont know if the Headache comes from my work (07:00-18:00), its really stressing because i have to do Quality-Control here and have to concentrate alot, or if its binded to the not-smoking, OR if its from the Weed i smoked here....Anyways im having lots of fun here

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So I'm just trying to find some commonalities amongst all of us and determine what the main culprit in causing HPPD is(i.e. frequency, dosage, substance). So if you could just list the drugs you used up until HPPD and what substances you used after HPPD and how frequently, I'd appreciate it. Also, if you could state whether or not your HPPD was instantaneous after a particular experience or gradual.....I guess really I just want like as detailed of an account as your trying to give from the time you started using drugs up until this point. If you don't wanna read this entire thing(It's kinda long) just skip to the bottom. Story: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{So for me I smoked weed for about a year before my HPPD "hit" I had done ecstasy around 20-25 times, taken LSD about 5 times, shrooms once, cocaine twice, and pills every now and then(klonopin, xanax, vicodin) but not very often. The bulk of my ecstasy use was the summer before I got into LSD.......After all my ecstasy use I had a little HPPD, I would see trails on certain things and I had a little light sensitivity but nothing out of control. It really didn't bother me at all, everything just looked a little more vibrant and alive. So then sophomore year(when I started using LSD) of college I found a LSD hook up and started trippin. I tripped 3 times over like 1 1/2 months and felt completely fine. No anxiety or weird visuals and my weed highs were still normal. Then I took like a 2 week break and then tripped acid twice more within like 3 weeks of each other. After these two trips things started to go down hill. These last 2 acid trips I had were terrible. I was really paranoid and one of my friends was screwing with me the entire time and the experiences left me in some odd state of mind. Afterwards things started to look a little "acid-like" when I was sober but I still felt like everything was ok. However whenever I would smoke weed I started to clam up and have a lot of anxiety and couldn't really speak straight at all. So I decided to take a break on weed for Christmas break and when I tried to smoke once second semester started the problems were like 20 times worse. From here on out things gradually got worse and worse, I tried to continue smoking as I thought if I regained my tolerance weed would go back to normal. After a bit of this the weird delusional thoughts and anxiety started creeping into my sober life and I decided to stop smoking weed. But, I did decide to do DMT twice and LSD once in an attempt to have a good experience and maybe redirect where everything was heading. It didn't really help....it made the visuals slightly worse but overall was just a waste of time and money. So I decided to stop with all the psychedelics and was "sober" for about a month before I went to a 2 day rave. I took ecstasy both days thinking I could never have a bad experience with that but did and that weekend worsened my visuals quite a bit. So........about a month later I got hit with DP and that was about 7 months ago.....I've taken ecstasy twice since DP hit.....Once was terrible and once was actually enjoyable. I've been more or less sober since around August except for a few drinks from time to time. So yea that's my drug story.....all of that was within about a year and a half from the first time I smoked weed to the time I got DP.}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I don't expect most people to of read all of that but mainly what I'm wanting is just to know what you believe the main culprit of your DP/DR/HPPD was. I think for me it was the two negative experiences I had on LSD. Those two experiences just set in a negative undertone to my subsequent drug use from that point forward. I feel like if I had kept the same frequency of drug usage but avoided those negative trips then I never would've developed anxiety that never would've led to DP and I don't believe my HPPD would've gotten as bad.

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Hello everyone!! i am 19 i am from ecuador... time here is 3 am...i am really worried about my situation i really want to quit with all this issue.. i am here for some advices..! i have heard that hppd is incurable! but could be manage.. So please give me some advice about what can i do for anxiety? to reduce hallucinations? i have 4 months in this problems! i had quit from college.. i want to concentrate in my future... PLease i really need help and i am really glad to find this community.. Please what can i take? what can reduce my hppd? Every day i regret taking LSD! Its really hard to live everyday with this! SO please HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I've said On here before that I've never actually tripped. Well I'm remembering one time my friends and I actually tried to get some LSD. It came in foil on little pieces of paper with green dots on them. We had our night planned out before we took them and ten they never kicked in. I didn't see any visuals but jus felt very drowsy and very high all night. Any ideas what this could have been?

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Hi, i've just joined this site after reading alot of useful information thanks! I think it's very likely that i have HPPD based on what i've read, i was diagnosed with anxiety, as i told my doctor all my symptoms except for the visuals/objects feeling soft, similar to my acid trips. This is because i was under 18 at the time and i was quite sure my doctor was required to tell my parents. I have visual snow basically 24/7, things breathing, after images after staring at objects, text moves and starts to change colour when i read it, sometimes i struggle to tell the difference between 2 not that similar colours, patterns when looking at a plain wall, hairs on towels and such wiggling, things growing towards me or melting, general acid visuals/feelings basically, along with the usual HPPD added extras. Basically i was wondering what would be the best way to approach my doctor about this, explain to her why i was lying about it and hopefully get some sort of true diagnosis. And also whether to mention the different medications mentioned on here or might she be suspicious? It's ALOT harder to get prescribed things in the UK that in the US, especially for mental health problems i've noticed. Any one know what i should do?!

Hello guys, i already posted a bit of this text as a guest, (also DTrooper), just thought let´s make a new topic to introduce myself: ...I´m 19 years Old, male, born in spain living in germany now...I have a Job, a Flat, everything´s going well....Before 2 Months i tripped some LSD...i think (really don´t know) i also have HPPD, after taking lsd 2 times...it´s not like you think, everything is (almost) normal...i can cause flashbacks when i want and stop them when i want....it´s really strange, if i stare at a grafitti, nothing happens...if i wish myself it should move it does...if i wish myself it should stop, it stop´s.... I can control it completely....I just lived a month like always, without making a flashback, now after a month without flashbacks i still can cause them, but how said i can completely control it....So i´m really lucky about that i can control it, i won´t take it anymore, i don´t have to, i can cause it anytime i want, and stop it anytime i want...sounds stupid, you may won´t believe, i had alot of luck.....anyways i know it could have been worse, just fucking happy about it all happened like this, i won´t take hard drugs anymore. I only tripped LSD twice, after first taking i just got HDDP on my Grafitti-wall: two days after my first trip i still saw the grafitti moving...i just thought ok just a wall, it will go away... the second trip got me to my level now: i can cause Flashs when i want, just noticed it a week after consuming. seriously i´m not annyoed by it because it doesn´t influences me, if i dont´want the flash it doen´t comes, i dont wake up and instantly a flash is starting, everything is normal like always just that i can give myself a flash... i´m going crazy about this, just have to realize its HPPD, maybe it will get worse, who knows. So here´s the list of my symptoms: Flashback only starts if i wish myself a flashback. I can stop it immediatly when i want. The Flashback causes: Flag-movíng, (also to music) Kind of "doubling" the object. Kind of looking deeper and deeper to the object. No changes on hearing music, or intensed colours No depersonalization, Floaters or derealization. No changes about my charakteristics, just asked my friends everything like always, i also feel like always. No Panik-attacks or anything like that. It´s moving like this: http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/gallery/image/8-demonstrationg-image/ I only have Visual aftereffects from it, nothing else.... I will consider a NeuroDoc in the next week, hopefully theyll know what is going on... Anyone having the same?....