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Just wondering if anyone of you survived Lyme and HPPD simultaneously?

Hello! i write this thread for say all the possitive things i win through HPPD. I tart first with beginig: I meet HPPD in my first time with 25x NBome as the 15 years old (i ever was impulsive, just really bad set & setting) , after really bad trip i go to a hospital and after the administration of "medication" the bad trip loss anxiety but.... the visuals no left. I say before the trip with 25x Nbome i taste Salvia divinorum (very strong trip, to much respect now), coke , Benzo's and weed , but i not have any secuels for that (except the salvia , a seriously existencial doubt jeje ) really bad firsts months, with strong medication, i left that after 1 month, slowy, because i try left it fast and have a ugly abstinence syndrome (from antypsychotics and benzos) ,with a strong up from synthomps after that i tried with a long list of medication, but i left that and after it, i NOT go back to use medication, just benzos fro recreational use NOW , 1 3/4 year after left the medication, im feel good, really good, "taming" the hppd, the syntoms really back with the time, for moments was like never will progess , but the aceptation was the solution. After left the medication, i never will ahve anxiety, i really think the cause of the anxiety, is the medication, the fear to the future, u must just accept u life, like in salvia trip, i forget my self, i was think "who i am?" "whare are i am?" "what is this?" but in a moment i think "mmm.... ok, this my home now" or something like that, nothing of desesperation NOW i can smoke weed, six months ago i was know i cannot smoke weed ,the visuals are to stronger, but and i moment i think "i can with this, i can TAME this" , and in a real trip (i was in a trip for my country, travel picking up cars, i not know the traduction for that, backpag travelist? maybe) in a natural place, in 3 days, i managed to tame the weed, to tame the visuals, to tame my self, because with hppd, weed are really more psychedelic than before, The hppd was a advantage, why? because with DP/DR i was can decide what to do with my life without any conditioning, without the senses of "good or bad" "yes or not" "real or ilussion" , i was think in a neutral point, because the badtrip of 25x NBome was a real disconection of reality and a hard reset of my brain. Now i think , why live in this society? in this anti-natural place? in this not spiritual place, in this big folly? why this globalited people? product of the occidental society, in a little world, with limited posibilities, with conditionings , in a false world , fishbowl, snowbowl, i this matrix when the real world, the world with 100 milions years old, the natural world, that world which is being sacrificed to maintain modern Western society, because in 200 years of "modernity" we destroy most than the 100.000 years old of human existence, for maintein a little false world, than just exist humans and cities. Next year is time to let know the world, the real world, to travel, too feel,to learn, to discover... ...to live sorry if i use bad english, i speak spanish thanks for read Salut.

Hi all :-) I'd like to give an account of my experience with HPPD and related anxiety. I apologize for the length of my post! I'm under the impression that many HPPD-sufferers (though by no means all) began experiencing noticeable symptoms of HPPD after only a few psychedelic experiences. This was not the case for me. I got very interested in psychedelic substances at the age of 16 and did a lot of reading before actually indulging. At the age of 17 I tried LSD for the first time, and had an enjoyable and interesting experience. After this, I began tripping frequently, and by age 18-19 I had gone through 1000mg of 2C-B (another psychedelic compound) and had somewhere in the vicinity of 50 LSD trips. I had noticed slight symptoms of HPPD after using 2C-B quite frequently for a few months (tripping perhaps once every fortnight, sometimes more frequently), but I didn't think much of it. I figured that the effects were probably transient. I then acquired a large amount of 2C-C and some Psilocybe Cubensis mushrooms, while continuing to do LSD once in a while. During the time I used 2C-C, I noticed that my HPPD symptoms were worsening, but I still attributed it to my frequent use of psychedelics, thinking that it would soon die down when I eventually decided to take a proper, long break from using these substances. During all this, I smoked cannabis intermittently, while never becoming a "heavy" smoker by any means. At age 20, I moved to a big city (or at least as big as they come here in Scandinavia) and began studying physics at university. At this time, I made a decision to use psychedelics and cannabis much less frequently. Over the course of the next year, I only tripped a couple of times, and only at somewhat low dosage levels. It was after this period that I realized that my HPPD symptoms (moving coloured splotches, lingering after-images and so on) had not gone away. They seemed to have lessened somewhat, and I paid less attention to them than before. Nonetheless they were clearly noticeable, and somewhat distracting at times. I felt no anxiety in relation to my HPPD symptoms, and decided that they weren't hindering me in my daily life. At this point I slowly began experimenting with psychedelic drugs once again, picking up pace after a few months. Apparently I had not learnt my lesson. A friend and I purchased a rather large amount of 4-HO-MiPT (a psychedelic tryptamine, somewhat akin to mushrooms in effects) and some 25C-NBOMe (a potent psychedelic). At this point we were tripping on a weekly basis. After a couple of months, it became increasingly clear to me that a long hiatus from all psychedelic substances would be needed at some point. But I postponed it. After our last exams we decided that we'd kick back and enjoy ourselves with a bit of newly-purchased 2C-C. I had slept poorly for a couple of days, and really should have gone home and laid down. Instead, I went ahead and ingested a dose of the 2C-C with my partner in crime. This turned out to be a mistake. After an hour, I began noticing that I was unable to have a simple conversation with our trip-sitter (a sober friend who, thankfully, was also present). I thought to myself "I really didn't imagine I would get this high from this stuff". About 15 minutes later it was becoming quite uncomfortable. I mentioned to my friend that it didn't feel like any 2C-C I'd ever had before, and he agreed that it was qualitatively different. I asked him if he thought it was something to worry about, and he responded that he wasn't sure, but that it would perhaps become a problem if it continued growing in strength. By this time I felt extremely hot and my heart was racing. We decided that, since this drug definitely did not resemble 2C-C, we had no idea what it was. We experienced some visuals, but mostly it was the physical effects which were completely different from what we expected. I said, that if we had ingested an unknown drug, which still seemed to be growing in intensity, we might have to go to an emergency room, since there was no way of knowing how long the effects would continue increasing in strength. First we decided to take a cold shower, to see if it would cool us down, as we were experiencing something akin to hyperthermia. It helped a little, but the relief was short-lived, and it did nothing to attenuate the tachycardia we were experiencing. To cut a long story short, we went to the emergency room, which was an unpleasant experience worthy of its own report. The nurse said that I had a resting pulse somewhere in the high 120's, which is definitely not life-threatening. By this time, the effects had died down a little. The next day, I felt very close to normal, albeit somewhat shocked. I paid a visit to another friend, who was smoking a potent synthetic cannabinoid called UR-144, but I chose not to partake in light of the events of the previous night. A few beers later, my judgement somewhat impaired, I chose to try some of the synthetic cannabinoid after all. This was perhaps my biggest mistake. A couple of minutes after smoking the cannabinoid I felt a surge through my body, a tingling sensation which spread to every part of my body. I started shaking somewhat, but I managed to ride it out, and within a few minutes I felt alright, albeit somewhat shaken and quite intoxicated. Soon after, I decided to call it a night and went to bed. I awoke the next morning, and this is where things got uncomfortable. As soon as I opened my eyes, I noticed that my surroundins appeared out of the ordinary. I felt quite high - almost as high as I had done the night before - and my HPPD was very noticeable. I hoped that this intoxication would subside quickly, as I had promised to visit my parents for a family get-together later that day. Upon arriving at my parents' in the evening, I still felt just as out of it. I had difficulty following the conversation, and I was beginning to become very anxious about the whole thing. I decided to tell my parents what had happened, as I felt unable to continue pretending. Soon after I went to lay down. Around midnight I went downstairs and watched some TV with my mom, still feeling very high and physically uncomfortable. I had been feeling a constant tingling sensation throughout my body the whole day. This is when I had my first panic attack, something I've never experienced before. It hit me very quickly, beginning with an sudden surge of intense "tingling" in my body. I jumped up from the couch, shaking and feeling as though I was about to lose all connection with reality. This state of sheer terror lasted for perhaps 2 minutes, after which I slowly returned to a less debilitating level of anxiety. The next day I was still in this highly uncomfortable state, and I had another panic attack. This one was different. It kept building for perhaps ten minutes, before climaxing in a severe panic attack. I was shaking uncontrollably, couldn't even stand up, and my mom even ended up calling the medical services, who had nothing useful to say. The next day I visited my doctor, who prescribed a benzodiazepine (Oxazepam) for the anxiety. This helped somewhat. I didn't have a full-blown panic attack after this. But I still spent more than a week in bed, completely unable to do the simplest things. Even watching TV proved too much. I felt over-stimulated by any sort of stimulus, and was plagued by strange bodily sensations (mostly the tingling feeling) and strong HPPD-like visuals. After being bedridden for well over a week, I managed to go for a few short walks, while still feeling very strange and anxious. I have been getting better very slowly since then, and it has now been five weeks since the night I smoked the cannabinoid (and since I ingested the unknown substance which landed me in the ER). I now only take benzodiazepines on some days, but I am still far from functioning normally. Most of the unpleasant physical sensations have lessened greatly (thank God for that). The most persistent one has been a strong sense of dizziness, but that is getting better as well. The only symptom which is still in full force is my visual HPPD, which has a tendency to bring out anxiety as well, since it reminds me of the state I'm in.

I've been on the cloneazepam for about 1.75 months and the lamotrigine for about 3 weeks, increasing dosage by 25mg each week until a target dose of 175mg-200mg is achieved (started at 25mg so I'm at 75mg daily right now), after which treatment is to continue for at least 12 months. Here is a short report of what has been going on so far in terms of symptoms: Improvements: Anxiety/panic is almost non-existent (as expected with the clonazepam). I'm also much more social, and to be honest, I seem to be more bold, especially with regards to the opposite sex, you know flirting and whatnot (even went on a pseudo-date with a coworker whom I'm sort of pursuing as a romantic interest ) even though I'm not the most attractive fish in the sea. Social interactions no longer scare the living shit out of me. Eye strain used to severely increase symptoms, to the point of almost being blind after sitting at my computer for a few hours. Eye strain now, while it still increases symptoms, does not worsen symptoms as severely as it did. Ghosting/double-images are reduced in intensity and seem to be only concentrated around brightly lit or colored things now (gets worse when it's really sunny out). Also it seems I have to focus on something in order to get ghosting. Can also read text on a computer screen much more easily now. Depression. Significant improvements here, while I'm still fairly depressed, I'm nowhere near where I was about 2 months ago (constantly suicidal, self harming, engaging in purposefully risky behavior, etc.) Brain fog/confusion/cognitive impairment/concentration problems. Again, much improvement here. I can think much more clearly now and no longer get frustrated when presented with a hard problem. I'm also currently participating in a research internship and am able to understand the rather abstract and hard to grasp concepts fairly easily (coworkers not so much ) Somewhat related to the depression, but I have a much more positive outlook on things now and am more optimistic and accepting about my mental/neurological disorders, of which there are 4. Symptoms lacking improvement: Image trailing. Trailing is still constant and at the same level as it was when this all started. Oscillopsia/breathing objects. I still get visual jittering (things look like they're buzzing or otherwise moving) and when there are areas of high contrast gradients/edges (light to dark/dark to light), I still get severe breathing phenomena. Palinopsia/after-images. Still get both negative and positive after-images that last about the same time as before (a few seconds to a few minutes depending on image intensity). Light beaming/beams/star-bursting. Still get long beams of light that emanate from light sources and still get starbursting around highly concentrated points of light (headlights, streetlamps, LEDs, etc.) Visual snow. Same as before. Scotomas/auras. I still get the odd scotoma/aura every one in awhile, usually at random times and usually in the form of shapeless, colorless blobs. Ghosting/double images. While there has been some improvement, it is still not to the level I would like it to be Depersonalization/derealization. While the grounding/coping techniques my psychologist taught me (and ones I came up with by myself like breath holding and cognitive interaction with my environment) help to ease and stop an attack, I still get episodes of DP/DR. ​Negative side effects: Fatigue, though this is expected with the combo of lamotrigine and clonazepam. Drowsiness and oversleeping. I have, on more than one occasion since starting this course of treatment, overslept by a large margin and either ended missing class or being late to work. Some sexual dysfunction. It's kind of difficult for me to keep and get a you know what for you know what purpose (a man has needs ). Also difficult to *ahem* sow my seed in a timely manner. Decrease in motivation to do things. While I've always been kind of a lazy person, the fatigue and drowsiness from the meds just make me want to sit down and chillout for a few hours listening to some quality tunes. Sort of a stoned, couch lock feeling. Increased appetite, though this isn't that much of a bad thing. Also, question for those who have taken this combo, is having a beer or two here and there while on these meds harmful? I do know these meds when used with alcohol increase drowsiness and decrease tolerance to alcohol, but so far I've found that small amounts of alcohol, like a light beer, don't do much. The only sort of scary experience I had was when I stupidly drank a few shots worth of high quality bourbon in a homemade cocktail. Woke up naked on top of a pile of clothes in my laundry room and not having a clue where the hell I was or how I got there. I plan to continue treatment with the lamotrigine for the recommended time of 12 months. I know it seems long, but I think it will be the key to being rid of this disease. I would also suggest lamotrigine for the people of this board. It will take awhile for it to have any sort of significant improvements on symptoms, about 6-12 months at least. The improvements I described are minor, but nonetheless hopeful for me as they tell me the medication is working and having a positive effect. I do plan on tapering off the clonazepam though as I would rather not have to deal with benzo WD on top of all this. Anyways, that's my report so far and I'll probably post another report at the end of the summer since I should be at the full 175-200mg dose of lamotrigine by then. If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

Hey guys, not sure if you remember me, but I was part of the old HPPDOnline.com before the site and all of it's data was lost. I recorded videos for that site as months went on talking about how life has been. Maybe you remember?? Jay and Merkan better. Anyways, so here I am. Why? ... Anyone? Because I was stupid enough to try smoking Marijuana again. I was curious to see how it would effect my symptoms. I missed the high as well, and wanted to feel it again. I wanted to feel unrestricted. If you remember, I got this lovely vision back in May of 2008 when I was 17, going on 18 in June. It was hella scary, and I must of went to every single doctor title ever created only to be told in a "professionally nice" way, I was crazy. I discovered HPPDOnline and the disorder itself through my mom after going a month of being completely frightened, clueless, house ridden, and suicidal. Google did the trick, and I met all of you inspirational guys. You would think I would of learned my lesson right? I mean I got all of this from Marijuana alone, never did any other drug, and got quite the list of shit vision. -Ghosting -Static -Trails -Afterimages -Awful trouble looking at anything white -Peripheral color distortion -Patterns, negative outlines, and flashes of light -Starbursting -Brain fog -Derealization -Depersonalization And never being able to see the moon correctly again. I always see 1 and a distorted half. Thanks ghosting... I never took medication because I didn't want to go through the scary withdrawal effects I have heard from some of you. Anyways I smoked Marijuana with some friends two nights in a row and had absolutely no after effects. It made me sort of cocky, happy, and felt free. Was I finally able to smoke again with no nightmare awaiting afterwards?? Not that Marijuana was a big thing for me, but it certainly since 2008, has been my biggest mystery. How can Marijuana do so much damage? I've never dropped an Acid tab in my life, but I am certainly seeing like it! ... Anyways so I was happy. Maybe my brain changed! I definitely knew my HPPD had significantly improved. Very slowly to the point of unnoticeable, but surely. So what did I do? I smoked a few nights later with a different friend. Different weed. While I was high, I started seeing trails when moving my hands and I said out loud, "No no no... not again." The trails never went away originally, but these ones while I was high was much more intense and lingered longer. I tried to stay calm, and I did. The visual static became more intense as well. When I finally went to bed, I woke up with pretty bad derealization vision, and a little static. I was still able to get out and go to job interviews, put on a damn good act, and ace a job. Two weeks later, (Now) HPPD has progressed significantly. -Very thick static that flashes fast like a strobe light -Ghosting -Awful vivid trails. Turning pages in a training binder is just disgusting. -Negative outlines of objects and people. -Flashing lights for no reason. -Detailed afterimages And looking at anything white is god awful. It's bright, flickery, blotchy with black and other colors mixed in. Just a mess... HPPD progressed for me the same way after onset in '08, and hit a baseline after about 3 months. This made me realize just how much I have healed since 2008. I think all I had left until two weeks ago, was trails and ghosting. I know I got used to a fair amount over the years, but the vividness of all of it certainly died down. So now I'm literally back to square one, but a square one with much more vividness. I'm scared, frightened, insecure as hell, and house riddden. Well, I do get my ass out to go to work overnight, but that's about it, and it's so hard to do. I don't want to go back out and do what I've been doing. I.E. watch TV, go to Baseball games, drive around, go to familiar places, because I know I'll be freaked and sad when I see just how much these joys have changed visually... I really hope I can still enjoy a Baseball game, but a lot of it is white, including the jerseys and ballpark soooooo . . . I just really needed to vent to you guys. For those who don't know me, hi! Nice to meet you. For those who do, it's been a long time. How are you? I'm just scared that my vision won't improve and this is what I'm left with. I smoked another time back in 2011, which is when I developed trails. Those never went away, but significantly decreased in vividness, and I got used to them, thus becoming part of my everyday life. Do you guys share the same symptoms? Especially the white color problems? What are your symptoms?? What would you rate my HPPD? Texting this story from my phone is quite fun let me tell you! Had to turn the brightness down. Regardless, I just really need to talk to someone who understands, and talking to you guys about this has made me feel a lot better. Thanks for listening, -GMAN P.S. Here's a fairly recent picture of me since the profile picture uploader isn't coded correctly. I lost all my hair! Bruce Willis or NAW???

ok just bear with me on this one...my name is michael and i am 23 yrs old and i'm from austria. over 2 years ago i took 2-cb for the first time, 2 days in a row and then a massive dose ~50mg, i have been smoking weed everyday 2 years prior...it would not go away...constant tracers...visual snow and worst of all...the closed-eye-visuals and after images....i called them "epileptical triangles in a spiral of pixels" and they were worst in the morning, in ´the shower and generally if im tired or stressed. Oh and coffee did make it worse for sure. used to say to my friends "as long as my eyes are open, everythings fine" i stopped weed for a couple of weeks...it got worse...or i was noticing it more i guess. everytthing was moving and washed out...i had problems with edge recognition and depth perception. i didnt want to get behind the wheel without a joint or bong rip so to calm my brain i guess. when looking at a wall i would see sparkles and stars, halos around lights...it sucked. i comsumed a quarter blotter of LSD twice in the following months...symtoms worsend. ok so no more drugs except weed because that suppressed it i guess. ok this week i stopped smoking weed...and could not sleep for days...it gets so much worse without weed and SLEEP...ok i was looking for supplements because of another issue with my back muscles and stumbled upon traditional chinese medicine, Astragalus membranaceus its an adaptogen...They’re called adaptogens because of their unique ability to “adapt” their function according to your body’s specific needs...it improves the immune system, cardiovascular system, and just like ginseng or jiaogulan (5-leaf ginseng) it promotes "Homoestasis" in your body/brain and was good for muscles, so i ordered a bottle from amazon. ok so recommended dose in traditional-chinese-medicine is 9-30g/day - i took 1x470mg in the afternoon and 1 in the evening..no response...went to bed....next day i hadnt slept more than 4 hours and had a dr's appointment, so i got in the car....10 minutes later into the drive i said to myself "hey theres something different...everything was so much clearer...the last time i saw THAT clearly was ....on the come-up of an lsd-trip" now hold on...without sleep it gets so much worse....why was i now seeing so clearly..i wasnt used to this in over 2 years HOLY SHit the f**** pills<<< my train of thought that was 2 days ago...afterimages GONE, tracers GONE, no more looking through a dirty pair of glasses and no more epileptical triangles dancing with pixels =) Now i still have some minor disturbances when looking at text...like a 1mm thin visual snow line between the lines of text, but i didnt even go high with my first dose...so try everything HERBAL before you try pharms. it did wonders for me in 2 days DOnT Believe me....TRY IT. i can recommend amazon. here some infos i found, but PLEAse do your own research as it is not good for people with autoimmune-disease because it stimulates the immune-response. http://www.itmonline.org/arts/astragalus.htm http://www.meschinohealth.com/ArticleDirectory/Astragalus_A_Powerful_Daily_Supplement_for_the_Immune_System http://www.mdidea.com/products/herbextract/astragalus/data10.html << good site TRADITIONAL INDICATIONS FOR ASTRAGALUS In the book Chinese-English Manual of Commonly Used Herbs in Traditional Chinese Medicine (13), five major actions and associated uses are given, as well as some miscellaneous new uses (item 6): Invigorate qi and spleen (poor appetite, loose stools, fatigue, and bleeding). Invigorate qi to activate yang (prolapse of stomach, uterus, or rectum) Invigorate qi to strengthen the body (common cold in debilitated patients, profuse sweating due to weakness) Relieve skin infection and promote tissue regeneration (abscesses, skin erosion, unhealthy wound); also for erosion of stomach lining (ulcer, atrophic gastritis) Promote diuresis and relieve edema (spleen-deficiency type edema). Miscellaneous new uses: diabetes, hemiplegia, asthma, and leukocytopenia (low white blood cells); astragalus is indicated for these disorders in cases of qi deficiency or qi and yang deficiency. Astragalus mongholicus is used in china as neuroprotectant with psychological effects like anti-anxiety and anti-depressant properties. there are a couple species within the astragalus family...and theres a whole world of herbs...you just need to research them please do your research..please stop smoking weed and just begin a healthy lifestyle > eating, exercising now sorry for my english, as im from austria....and im tired now.....i will answer your questions tomorrow bye

Did anyone find that quitting smoking helped with their visual symtoms at all? I'm a regular smoker and while I know I should quit, I've kind of got bigger concerns atm. However if I people found quitting eased their symtoms I might ensure the struggle

So I have pretty moderate hppd. From what I know, people say it is only visual symptoms and stuff like that but to me it's much more. I'm sure plenty of us have had problems with brain fog and depersonalization, which may lead to some depression. For me, especially when I wake up in the mornings or from a nap, I even FEEL like I'm trippin. I've had days where I've woken up feeling like I took a hit of acid before I fell asleep or something. So I read on some forums about 5-htp, which is a vitamin that increases serotonin levels in the brain. I read somewhere else that one cause of hppd is not having enough serotonin, so I decided to give it a try. Literally the first pill I took I noticed a difference. As soon as I got back from the vitamin shoppe, I took a pill and that night I slept a full exact 8 hours (and had real dreams that weren't trippy) and when I woke up the next morning, I felt sober. Of course the visuals were still there, but I felt great!! I've continued taking them and continued to feel so much better. There was one day that I decided to wait until later to take a pill when normally I do it in the morning and got my schedule all messed up and in the process I felt the brain fog and depersonalization come right back up. To me, it makes enough of a difference that I can live my everyday life and not have to focus on my hppd as much. Also, because it helped me get better night's worth of sleep, indirectly it's even helping my visuals. Depersonalization wise, now when i look in the mirror i actually see myself and don't always feel like I'm living in a weird type of nightmare. I just wanted to get on here and let people know that this may be a good option worth trying, because I've seen so many threads putting 5-htp down. Also, it's really not that expensive for one a day! (I've also been taking lion's mane, but I read somewhere that it takes months to work so I doubt that's what making me feel better) my only concern is, I've read online that taking 5-htp everyday could have some negative consequences, but I kinda assumed that applied to normal people who didn't need the extra serotonin like I do. Should I be be worried about it? Idk what do you guys think?

Hello everyone, I'm exited that this website exists. I don't even know if anyone will read this, but I'm all fucked up. I have horrible hppd that has been plaguing me for a year and a half now. Peoples faces look cloudy, I can barley remember them unless they are someone I see every week. Regularly I will see geometric shapes that are translucent and colored, Sutch as large rectangles that stretch and phase off surfaces, but it's mainly lines and color smudges always dirtying my vision. things get smaller and bigger all the time, and when they shrink they give off vibes. It is worst at night. I was a fool and extensively abused many phycadelics about a year and a half ago. Mainly the nbome series and that was for 4 months at doses of 2-5mg. But tolerance kicked in and I started going for more exotic combinations, Sutch as 4 aco dmt, nbome and mdma. My favorite was just plain shrooms and lsd. During those 4 months not a day went by when I was not in a supertrip. I severely regret my actions. I quit everything when I got my hands on N,N Dmt and smoked it like weed for a week. After that I have not been the same. Is there any way to help ease this madness? I usually just carry it along with me every day. Emotions affect it.

Hello everyone, I'm new to the forum and this is my first time posting in any kind of forum so I'm doing it wrong feel free to let me know. I have done mdma a few times, mushrooms a few times and lsd twice. After my last experience with LSD I started to have panic attacks and experience odd visual anomalies. My Psychiatrist listened to my symptoms and seemed to think they fit the description for HPPD. I don't experience anything when I close my eyes and no fractal patterns, I do occasionally see objects shifting slightly if I really concentrate them, as well as a small shifting shifting of colors, more just the shade or shadows changing than the actual colors changing. I constantly think I see movement out of my periphery although that could simply be anxiety. I was seeing lots of little dots of light in my but that has oddly subsided today. Oddly my problems with objects moving and color shifting went away during a time when I was concerned about afterimages. (Turns out they're normal I just became hyper aware of them). Took Xanax every once in awhile when I would develop panic attacks, that didn't seem to change the visual symptoms. Klonopin did seem to help but my visuals have subsided slightly without it today. I have a couple questions, is the concurrent with most of the symptoms others describe and does it seem mild compared to others experience? I am also curious if the severity of the symptoms has any correlation to chance of recovery. Sorry for being long winded and I appreciate your replies

Hi everyone, Thanks for your time to anyone who is reading this. I have aways been a "sensory sensitive" person (i.e. only kid on a youth soccer team to have to wear sunglass sports goggles). I took LSD (one time only) during the summer after I graduated from college in 2006. Upon waking up the next morning (after little sleep lol) and getting my day started, it was overwhelmingly evident that something in my brain had changed. I have for the 8 years since then been dealing with a variety of extremely bothersome, what I would describe as, visual sensory overload issues. My brain is now agitated and overwhelmed by all sorts of visual stimuli, most notably unnatural lighting that I encounter in the evening (i.e. all forms of indoor lighting, car headlights, porchlights etc). Also, as crazy as it may sound, my brain is often extremely agitated and distracted by shadows that are created by such lights...things that my brain would have formerly subconsciously filtered out. For instance, an overhead fan with a light behind it will drive me absolutely crazy. I also have issues during daytime hours, though not as intensely, as I am also now more sensitive to brightness from the sun (as well as daytime shadows). When I am in the throes of my "symptoms", my experience ranges from mild agitation to literally feeling like my brain is on fire and in desperate need of someone popping my skull open to dump ice water onto it. This latter feeling generally arises from prolonged exposure, for instance a situation where I cannot just go take a shower to calm my brain down or lie down in a dark room for a while. I don't know if the condition I have is precisely HPPD, as I do not experience visual snow, halos, trailers, or any of the other "common symptoms" I have seen listed under diagnosis criteria for HPPD. However, I keep coming back to this forum and other websites related to HPPD because I have had a persisting sensory condition that was (however predisposed I may have been) either caused or multiplied a hundred times by taking a psychedelic drug. To wrap up with a few other details: I have suffered from Depersonalization Disorder since my senior year of high school (that I am certain was triggered or at least exacerbated by marijuana use). I have not taken any psychedelic drugs since my LSD experience, and have not smoked pot in about 7 years as it makes all of my symptoms much worse. I mostly try to sleep and exercise consistently to help me battle my problems. I have been to several people for help. A neurologist told me frankly that he understood in theory what I was saying, but had no idea what to do. I was later prescribed Xanax by a psychiatrist. It has helped me quite a bit and I generally take it at night time when my symptoms hit at their worst. I do hope to get off of it someday soon because of the zombie-ish feeling it can create. But for now, I much prefer it to the suffering I endure without it. I have been disciplined and have not upped my Xanax dosage during the 2 1/2 years I have been taking it. I believe that the condition I deal with might line up more closely with some of the sensory overload issues faced by MS or Autistic patients. It might very well be that certain receptors were overstimulated during my LSD experience and now my GABA production has been permanently affected. This would explain why taking a Benzo, like Xanax, temporarily makes me feel better. Drinking alcohol, though I don't often engage in it, has a slightly similar calming effect. If anyone has any thoughts, I would greatly appreciate hearing them. I am quite desperate, to be frank, and am open to all suggestions. N-Met is a product I have seen marketed for sensory overload sufferers, as well as GABA Calm. Keppra intrigues me as well because of it's work on GABA receptors, though I am a bit nervous about trying an anti-convulsant. I have also considered meeting with an Occupational Therapist, or a hypnotist. Thanks everyone! DJ

anyone who got HPPD or Depersonalisation , got headaches as well ? i have derealization and visual snow, and i get terrible headaches, which seem to move around. thanks

Hey all! I'm still searching for a medication to treat my anxiety problems that won't simultaneously aggravate my HPPD. As many of you know, that is one tough nut to crack. My immediate thoughts: SSRIs: Seem somewhat effective for my anxiety. Aggravates visuals, had to discontinue. At least HPPD symptoms returned to ''baseline'' upon discontinuation. Benzodiazepines: Greatly attenuates my anxiety (particularly etizolam and clonazepam) and helps HPPD symptoms as well (particularly clonazepam). Very addictive, not a long term solution. I build tolerance to benzodiazepines pretty quickly. Buspirone: Seems too ineffective to be worth it (never actually tried this one) Pregabalin/gabapentin: Seem to have many of the same pitfalls as benzos, plus some extra common side effects(?) Beta blockers: Ineffective in managing my anxiety, since it doesn't primarily manifest with tachycardia, tremors, flushing etc. Atypical antipsychotics: Seems like a dangerous combo w/HPPD (particularly risperidone). Older/atypical antidepressants, such as TCAs: Never tried any of those. Very interested in hearing personal experiences or ideas about any non-SSRI antidepressants useful in treating anxiety, particularly about how they interact with HPPD. Thanks in advance, folks Hope you're feeling all right. Looking forward to hear any and all thought on possible anxiety medications w/HPPD.

Hey guys, I have a question. I'm new to the site, but I've had HPPD for about 3 years now. I also have PTSD (along with several other irrelevant mental disorders).... I'm doing Independent Research on HPPD for a course at my college and I noticed a pattern... How many people who see this happen to have been diagnosed with both PTSD and HPPD? I'd really appreciate the feedback/input! Thanks guys. - Jessica

Hello. This is my first post. I'm sorry for the length but I didn't want to miss anything. I strongly urge you to read this because maybe I can't help everyone but I know I can help people with this information. I used to visit this website because I was absolutly sure I had hppd. I experienced a bad acid trip approximately 6 months ago. I essentially had a panic attack mixed with acid and I thought I was going to die. When I came out of it I felt as if I couldn't feel emotion anymore. However, the next day I woke up and felt ok so I never did acid again but I continued to smoke weed. Now My health I would say had been someone deterioating over the last two years. Nothing medical (doctors find nothing wrong) but I just felt shitty. Tired, lethargic, no libido and just no enthusiasm. Now I was at a families for dinner and was staying over night and ate a big meal (many courses and desert). I experienced what was essentially the same feeling as when I did acid and was I started panicking and thought I was having a heart attack, stroke, brain aneurism, something of that nature. My dad took me to the hospital and they found nothing wrong with me other than slightly low sodium levels and told me that I just had anxiety and was having all the signs of a panic attack. I had never been much of an anxious person and so this both surprised me and unerved me. Now when this happened I worried that I was perhaps contracting a mental disorder and this is what it was like to go crazy from drugs. I spent my days as alone as possible going to school (I go to university in Canada) and them coming home and staying in my room. The worst was the feelings of what this website calls depersonalization and deraelization. I felt like I was living in a dream and wasn't myself. I also experienced bad versions of visual snow (seeing little blue and red spots especially in the dark. Now what I began to notice is that when I ate alot of carbohydrates I had symptoms of the panic,,,, and this is when I found it. I don't know if this is the exact medical reason but I discovered something called candida. Essentially it is a gut disorder that many people experience to varying degrees and mine was bad. The reason it causes these symptoms is that it has no harmful affects other than your body must fight to kill the infection that food causes when you have an overgrowth of this stuff (candida). If your like me your body has been fighting these infections from years and your body is just getting exhausted, particularly your adrenals. From what I've learned is that candida feeds on carbohydrates and any form of sugar. I began the candida diet which consists of only non-starchy vegetables (broccoli, spinach, zhuccini etc.), meats (not processed, my favourite being ground beef due to its cheapness) and then you can also use oils( ie. olive oil). I highly recommend you visit websites and research it yourself. I've been eating this way for approximately 2 months. The symptoms don't lift immediately but from day 1 you feel them lessening in degree. I have begun to feel so light and happy. I can't describe how amazing I feel. If I can help even one person lift from this hell and into the real world I will be happy but I hope that I can help everyone. Atleast try the diet out. The body at least in my opinion is not meant to eat all the carbs, dairy and processed food we eat. I wish you all the best and please post if you experience favourable or even unfavourable results.

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Hello everyone, I would like to share my SPECT-scan result with you. I was able to get it in Italy because of a friend of mine who also has Visual Snow who works as a nurse in Di Venere hospital in Bari. I was unable to get it in Holland because of several reasons. Link: http://youtu.be/b3Dtrt5pJ7U My symptoms are: visual snow, after images, trails, tinnitus, hyperacusis, light beams that shoot away from objects, blue field entoptic phenomenon etc. PS www.visualsnow.eu is still under construction. Ben

Hello all, I'm not 100% sure if i have hppd or visual snow. I tripped 8/9 months ago and only developed full symptoms two months ago. Ever since the trip +2weeks I have had constant Scheerer's Phenomenon which is when you see the moving sparkles and translucent floaters in the sky and on light bright objects. This is by far my most irritating symptom. Since mid September i have also suffered from DP/DR (though this has gotten a lot better), visual snow, after images, more persistent floaters, and double vision often when on phone/trying to read. I believed i had hppd in the beginning but I have also looked into visual snow and realised that sufferers of visual snow sometimes also have the extra symptoms i describe. Is like to ask if i have hppd or visual snow syndrome? And can visual snow syndrome be caused by drugs or is it random?

Hi, I'm an 18 year old girl who has had hppd i believe for 8 months. I stumbled across this board a few weeks ago and decided to join hoping it might help having some support around me. The reason why I say my HPPD is a little atypical is because of how it originated and what has happened to me. I believe I first got very mild HPPD from times in December and February I tripped. I have only ever taken what you would call actual psychedelics twice (if you discount MDMA and weed). What I took on these two trips was most likely a 2c chemical (2cb/2ci/etc). I know, I'm a dumbass. Shouldn't have took pills I didn't know the contents of. The first time I took 4/5 of the god damn things, second time I took 2. I wish I could give more info on what they are. When I developed this really mild HPPD about 2 weeks after my second trip, I didn't really give a shit about it, I think I thought it was interesting. I remember the exact moment it onset - it was about 4.30Pm and I was walking home, I was looking at the sky and I started tripping out on the sky like I did on my second trip. I saw - and still see - little white dot 'sparkles' moving through and between each other, and 'translucent 'ripples' in the sky. No other real symptoms though and the sky stuff was fairly mild. I started to get CEV for a month or two but i forgot about that/it left. Throughout this time every few weeks I was taking mephedrone and I took MDMA about 3 times. I noticed I started tripping out as I was coming down sometimes but it didn't last. Then in summer I drank alcohol a decent amount, took mephedrone only once about 1g, went out the same night and smoked weed through i think it was a 'bowl'? Whatever it was it was strong as hell. I was stoned to death for hours, dry heaving, dry mouth to the point i thought i would die, the absolute lot. Finally fell asleep, woke up in the morning and everything was normal just felt reallllll hungover. Around 3-4 weeks after that I had my first panic attack. Around 3 weeks of that is when I can say my REAL HPPD started. I had a traumatic discovery about my family, went into a state of depersonalisation and derealisation, didn't know what the fuck was wrong with me. I had no emotions at all, I didn't even feel like I existed. I felt like an object in the room. It felt and still sometimes feels like everyone else is on one plane and I am on another, its like looking through a misted up window at life. Also started getting intense headaches. I've got over that mostly I think but when that happened... The visuals came. Oh boy they came. First noticed the visual snow. This is a constant 24/7 thing as are many of my visual symptoms. Then the visuals I previously described on the sky got more and more intense - those moving sparkles and translucent ripples in shape grew in size and speed. I also started to see these sky visuals on white/bright surfaces when outside (never inside). Recently I have developed positive after images - when i look at literally ANYTHING, like i will look at someone's eyes, look away get an after image of their eyes, same with text, objects, whatever. And a lot of floaters at night when cars are going past etc. I also have a thing with seeing a green/white circle floater in my vision. This comes and goes but it has NO OUTER STIMULUS. Two times now it has come for 4/5 days then left again. What bothers me the most is the sky stuff - the moving sparkles and translucent ripples. Recently these have stopped being solely confined to the sky and now when I'm outside I will just see them all over, its so annoying. The ripples themselves move and they have become more defined and form weird shapes. So yeah, I think thats the extent of my symptoms. Other than the obvious intense anxiety and depression - and agoraphobia - i have now developed more as a result. It has been two months and at the first onset In September i had suicidal thoughts. Over that mostly i think. But its been pretty hard. I'm really hoping that this gets better at least a bit soon and then keeps getting better. I am in a really frustrated place now. I've just booked on to get therapy. I dont know when il start considering meds like klonopin and keppra. If anyone has any advice for me id appreciate it soooo much!

I believe there are others on this forum suffering from bipolar disorder also... I am wondering if any of you have noticed changes in your hppd symptoms during depressive and manic episodes? I was on Lamictal for about a year and it helped with both, but at the beginning of this summer I quitted cold after forgetting to take it for several days and thinking I was still feeling ok. The hppd symptoms came back after a while, but they didn't bother me much so I somehow delayed taking my meds until today.... I guess lately I've been going through my first hypomanic episode since I got hppd, and during this time it seems like my hppd symptoms got better. Which scares me, because I've been impulsively doing drugs again... (When I'm depressed, I don't do any drugs because even before hppd, everything I did led to panic attacks) I actually feel quite ok, It feels nice to be able to do drugs and have fun again... I sometimes think that maybe it's just me being paranoid, maybe I'm actually cured... But I recognized this pattern a few days ago, after my second lsd trip this month. The last time I was feeling and acting this way, I ended up having HPPD. I'm scared of what could happen after this illusion of feeling good is gone. I started taking Lamictal again today, I hope that it will help the way it did before... I would like to hear about your experiences... Also, I know that same neurotransmitters are affecting both conditions in some way, but I don't understand the mechanisms that much and would like to learn about it more. Any reading suggestions?

Hi guys, New to this forum. I have had palinopsia for about 12 years now. During 2002 I was using cannabis daily, not in vast quantities, but I was stoned most days of the week. At the end of June I was hitting some of the creamiest, dirtiest bongs known to man. had a number immediately after one another. I knew it was too much but was trying to push the limits. For about 30 mins I couldnt see anything but I could hear voices. Then suddenly everyone and everything became very much like a cartoon character. My friends all looked like they should be in a Simpsons episode. I also thought there were giant insects buzzing about. I was advised by my friends to go outside and try chill out. It took me a long time to walk the short distance. Once there the sky went a dark red colour and everything else went varying shades of black. The sky then switched to green. There were constant loud screeching noises. Felt a bit like when Frodo puts the ring on in The Lord of the Rings in fact. Also felt like there were worms wriggling in my head. Very frightening experience. I then lay down for a number of hours whilst it felt like my arms and legs were smaller than they should be. It eventually all wore off but for next number of months I was quite badly fatigued and would frequently go to bed early. Then in August one evening when closing my eyes I noticed a strong after image remained. This gradually grew until I had strong palinopsia. I no longer drive at night as its too difficult, I have visual snow and the rest of the usual symptoms. I went to my doctor at end of 2002 and he thought that it was nothing. I thought it was maybe all in my head. I then went to my optician in 2007 to tell him but there was a more immediate problem with the eyes themselves that needed treatment which took a number of years. It was only this year that I actually came across the term palinopsia. It has not got any weaker over the years although I have learned to live with it. Basically the question I have is could that cannabis use have triggered its occurrence or is it just a coincidence that those two incidents were in the same summer? Thanks for reading!

hello I account my experience, I have HPPD since March this year, I have 17 years I'm from rosario, Santa Fe, Argentina I need to start smoking weed at 14 after probe a little coke and do not use more. after that smoke salvia and really had no problem with that, is more, use sage about 4 times with no problems. and after I had a really bad trip with 25x NBOME, I felt as actually disarmed apart and could not reassemble them, hence I went to the hospital and instead of letting the effect happen to me pusiern a serum with antipsychotics, antiepileptics and soothing and enunos 15 minutes and had no more anxiety, but the reality was not in pieces, pieces disappeared and only what had been staying. after that visual symptoms persisted, plotters, CEVS oevs and derealization and depersonalization are currently the only thing that make life very unpleasant do not take more "remedies" for some time, not worth it and also when you leave the dr / dp and other symptoms worsen and then smoothed I can not smoke weed because I have really visually similar to the one I had on salvia, I mean very randoms visuals Only now I have DP / DR unbearable visual snow photophobia tracers and palinopsia and drugs in general: Memantine: may help in some, very little Modafinil: improving wakefulness, but it's really not much help Citicoline: nothing L-tryptophan: support something really Benzodiazepines: after a long time without using them help, but only at that time, and also can not stand the side effects Marijuana: actually worsens the visual symptoms, but only for a couple of days antipsychotics: not worth it, do not notice difference and kill what little remains of my soul antiepileptic drugs: nothing Cocaine: the few times I use it only helps me to forget Alcohol: moderately helps a little I'm watching on a user difenidina I mention a topic, maybe try, after all memantine is an NMDA antagonist, and the truth at this point anything that relieves dr / dp auyudaria me greetings

Hi everyone, Last year december I took 20mg of dexamphetamine, I had a good trip but two days later I experienced a panic attack and several visual problems after smoking a cigaret. After this things escalated very quickly, I had multiple panic attacks a day, had to quit school and experienced a lot of visual problems. Since than I began visiting a psych and have I seen several doctors about my eye problems. Every doctor told me that these problems are probably caused by my anxiety and panic attacks. Within the last few months I have my panic attacks under control, sort of, and some of my visual symptoms slightly decreased but most of them are still strongly here. I experience a lot of anxiety over this and I still feel like my symptoms are caused by my drug use from last year. In the months before the dexamphetamine I used around 5 times of 60 mg xtc, never in combination with other drugs or alcohol. Never had a bad trip and I left a few weeks in-between the uses. My symptoms are: floaters, visual snow, dizziness, painful eyeballs and muscles (behind my eyes & my neck + shoulders), problems with focussing my vision, panic attacks, general anxiety. My question is: do i have HPPD or is it really the anxiety? Can someone relate to my story? Thanks!

hey guys, im new here, so i have been suffering from this thing for about 2 months now, but i actually don't know what it is ? whether DP/DR ? or HPPD ? or something else. i got all this from smoking weed, out of a printing paper (A4). havent touched LSD, MDMA etc ever. ohh!, and i never had that 'i am going to die feeling, when i was high'. and i believe i have a bit of social anxiety. i'm a 22 year old male, with no history of mental illnesses. here is what i have:- visual snow (mostly in darkness and dim lights) very sensitive to all kinds of light. (even sunlight) very intense migrainous headaches at the base of skull slight halos around streetlights, and starbursts from distant lights. only negative afterimages faint ringing in ears, ear pain and popping in the right ear from time to time some sounds feel amplified floaters in white backgrounds changed visual perception the vision where u feel ur still high, or stoned. (is this derealization ?) anxiety (along with the 1001 symptoms that come with it) a strange thing which occurs to me is that, i see streaking/starbursting on lights which are far away, but if the same light source comes close, the streaking goes away! here is what i don't have:- trails/tracers blue field entoptic phenomena colour confusion movement in objects and walls geometric patterns size distortions i saw, both eye doctors and neurologists, got an MRI scan, and everything seems to be normal, according to the doctors! i've yet to see a mental doctor. i got prescribed klonopin, took it a few times, for me it doesn't do much, other than making me sleepy. sorry for making such a long post. any help is greatly appreciated. thanks

need help asap please! i nearly committed suicide the other day and would really appreciate if anyone could help me in finding a doctor that understands hppd in my area. I live in Tacoma, WA, USA, which is about 30 miles south of Seattle, WA. I just want to be better so i can finally have the confidence to meet a girl and to love as well as my lifelong dream to pursue a career as a piano composer. I am 18 years old now and have had it since i was 16 (September 2, 2012)- yes i remember the exact date because since then it has been a living nightmare. Ever since I developed HPPD I have had Constant Depression and Consistent Anxiety of the extreme along with the disturbing visual snow and hallucinations.