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  1. Greetings, I stumbled across this forum/site while researching some mental issues I was/am having and basically I'm just looking for some answers and guidance. First and foremost, the already present mental illnesses. Severe anxiety and depression have been a fairly constant presence for me ever since my early high school days. I've managed and dealt with them for the most part, but within the last year they've taken a turn for the worse with almost weekly panic attacks and frequent suicidal ideation. Also, within the last 2 months or so it feels like I've been gradually losing touch with reality in the sense of continually questioning what is real and what is not. Because of this I finally got in to see a psychiatrist. After the visit I was diagnosed with major depressive disorder, panic disorder and probable schizophreniform disorder (probable pending further diagnostic imaging and meetings, though he feels fairly confident that I have some sort of mild psychotic disorder). As a result, he prescribed me escitoprolam and risperidone for my symptoms, both of which I am supposed to start next week with low doses and tapering up to the effective dose over a few weeks (he emphasized that I may not need the full therapeutic doses of either medication if a lower dose is effective). While I did mention my vision problems and illusory hallucinations, he attributed these to the anxiety and psychosis stating that they were my brain trying to make sense of a weird situation. However, I think these visual problems are HPPD and not related to any of the diagnosed illnesses. I say this because a lot of my visual symptoms are similar to those of HPPD. Furthermore, I have experimented with drugs in the past, namely MDMA (100mg one time over this past summer) and THC (45mg orally once this past summer. Not enjoyable at all since I was just launched straight into the worst panic attack I have ever had). I also used to take 50-100mg diphenhydramine 3-5 times a week to help with sleep, something I haven't done since I started having these symptoms of mild psychosis and potential HPPD. These were all mentioned to my psychiatrist. A summary of my potential HPPD symptoms is below: Lights appear to streak/downward beams come from lights, especially at night. Gets better when holding eyes wide open and when in bright areas. Monocular double vision in both eyes (i.e. double vision still occurs when one eye is closed or covered) especially with brightly lit objects and where there is high contrast. Glare, halos and star bursts, especially at night. Blurriness/cloudiness in vision Very mild trailing when moving something across visual field Some distortion of peripheral vision and perception of movement in peripheral vision Walls and other objects sometimes breathe usually after staring at them for awhile So, are those symptoms consistent with HPPD, or are they just a relatively normal eye problems that I'm getting too paranoid about? If it was HPPD, would the medications I'm supposed to take worsen it? I've been reading stories, articles and studies about how these two drugs interact with HPPD and how they almost universally worsen symptoms. I can deal with where I am right now in terms of VS, but if those get worse, the combination with the other 3 issues may be too overwhelming. Anyways guys, thanks for reading and I would greatly appreciate any help/advice you can give.
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