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Between the ages of 15-17 I experimented with various hallucinogens. I think that I took LSD and mescaline, because that's what people said they were giving me. I probably only took these drugs on 10 or fewer occasions. The last drug I took was most likely LSD and I took a very large dose. The experience was intense and I had difficulty managing it after 2-3 hours. At that time I thought that I was going to die, so I reached out for help. Someone helped by making me a strong drink which helped me to calm down. Then I continued to drink wine through the trip. As one can imagine, I became violently sick that night. After that experience, I withdrew from friends and any mention of hallucinogenic drugs made me extremely anxious. I wanted nothing to do with these drugs anymore, they scared the shit out of me after that. At this point I remained well, except for my instinct to avoid hallucinogens and the experience of anxiety when I was around people who wanted to use them with me. After about six months, I was at work washing dishes in a restaurant when I suddenly noticed the snow phenomena and then immediately afterward I had my first flashback. This represented the onset of my experience with HPPD.. Other symptoms included intense anxiety, enhanced color intensity, trails, melting walls, visual snow and feelings of unreality. It was difficult in 1973 to get help because so little was known about the disorder. Initially I was given Valium and that allowed me to complete my high school education, college and graduate school. Basically, Valium only addressed the anxiety, it did nothing to ease the flashbacks and other HPPD symptoms. After a few years I was under pressure to stop taking Valium which I was unable to do completely. In 1985, a psychiatrist gave me Xanax and Doxepin which helped me to sleep at night and alleviated some the the anxiety that I experienced. While this treatment did not address my flashbacks and other symptoms, I at least felt as thought that I could deal with having HPPD. My next break came around 1998 when I started taking Prozac. This med eliminated the need for any other meds. It helped me to sleep at night and almost eliminated my anxiety, but it didn't prevent the flashbacks, snow, etc. Finally in the year 2000, I stopped having flashbacks. I haven't had one in 22 years. I still have some other effects like visual snow but at a much more tolerable level. For many years I have been intrigued by the apparent similarity of HPPD to PTSD flashbacks and I have wondered if my experience represents a form of post traumatic stress. I'm in the process of reading the book "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D. The book details how traumatic experiences can cause visual flashbacks and other neurological symptoms which are a consequence of past traumatic experiences. Certainly my last trip was traumatic, and just as in PTSD cases, I withdrew from friends and began experiencing anxiety over the perceived source of my traumatic experience. Although Dr. Van Der Kolk (from what I have read so far) does not make a connection to HPPD I'm thinking that maybe it is possible. Also, one of the problems that I overcame in my ordeal with HPPD was agoraphobia. I overcame this problem after reading the book "Hope and Help for Your Nerves" by Dr. Claire Weekes. This book introduced me to a behavior based model which describes agoraphobia as resulting from the avoidance of places that we associate with anxiety. Basically, if we avoid a place because we experience anxiety there, we begin to experience greater anxiety when we do visit that place. This leads to more places that cause anxiety and more avoidance until we get to the point that we are home bound. Dr. Weekes explains that the anxiety can be controlled by gradually exposing ourselves to the places that produce anxiety. In my case, because I was afraid of having having a flashback in public places, I started avoiding places and my world grew smaller and smaller until I couldn't leave home. This technique worked for me to recover from agoraphobia and from panic attacks. Furthermore, when I began to apply this technique to flashbacks, they went away as well. At that time I was taking Prozac which greatly assisted me in this effort. Today, I no longer experience anxiety and no longer take Prozac. Of course, I don't know if this would work for anyone else but I thought that my experience was worth sharing.

I was thinking there is a Visual Snow Initiative for finding the cure! Why don’t we start our own fund to find the cure? Think about it personally I am willing to put $1000+ into it maybe more if needed because this disorder is a huge burden.. if we have 18000+ members or more willing to donate for their own cure we could help ourselves.. why don’t we give it a shot I mean! What do we have to lose? My expectation is that their is going to be a cure within 10-20 years either way but we could speed up the process by starting our own initiative to find a cure for this disorder! And personally I think there is a cure I am almost sure! We just haven’t find it yet. But we need money for research!

Hello, everyone, I will try to tell my story as authentically as possible - but what I can say is that I am cured (in a sense)! And I am writing today because I would have liked to read more positive stories when I was at my worst:) I am joining the community to share my experience and give support when possible. Drugs before HPPD – I had my first joint when I was 14. And I smoked a lot since then. Between 15 and 17 - I smoked almost every day. I graduated from high school when I was 17 and moved to another city. There, I tried Mdma and cocaine (I had just turned 18) - I really liked molly. I took some in considerable quantities! I think that on this first year, I had more than a hundred experiences with crazy dosages (I took more than a gram + 2x once). I lost weight and became rather depressed – low serotonin level and I continued to smoke every day which ofc did not help. LSD and HPPD/Depersonalisation/Derealisation – At the end of my first year, I went to Berlin for the holidays. I tried acid for the first time. Great experience! Really incredible with really nice sensations. It helped me a lot, and I was able to open my eyes to a lot of things, including my exaggerated consumption of Mdma. Coming back from Berlin, I spent a few weeks where I felt really good, complete. But I was already starting to notice that my vision was not really the same, especially when I smoked pot. More I gave it attention and more it became overwhelming. I was able to manage it till the day I had an intense panic attack. Afer that, I started having a lot of derealization and depersonalization episoded. I no longer recognized myself when I looked in the mirror and felt like I was stuck in a dream. So here I am, 19 years old and completely fucked up. And a vicious circle is set up : Anxiety-HPPD-depersonalisation-derealisation. I still managed to get used to it and to maintain social relationships (at that point, I am depressed and I feel miserable - I was sure that this will last forever). I'm keeping doing Mdma (it was a sort of consolation I think), which did not help - the comedowns were particularly horrible and sometimes I felt like I'm looking at life through a window, that I am trapped in a body which is not mine and that everything is just an illusion for days on end. I do not suffer from insomnia, but I sleep and wake up with exactly the same feeling of derealization and depersonalization. In fact, I have never told anyone about it. I tried at the beginning (the first days my HPPD appeared) to share it with one of my close friends but since he didn't seem to really measure my distress, I quickly understood that I was in this alone... I did not know this forum at the time. Getting used to my HPPD, then a difficult LSD experience – Well... So, 2 years went by like that. I still have the same issues, but I am quite used to them. I still take some ecstasy, but I manage it better. I even tested mushrooms and a low dose of LSD which did not really make my visuals worse. My anxiety is mostly social at this point - it feeds off my HPPD. At 22, I decided to take acid again with friends. I do not really decide - I let myself get carried away by something weird, probably stupidity:). Anyway, I took some more. The dose was pretty high (less than what I tested in Berlin but still serious). The trip went well but the comedown was horrible for me. I will pass you the details because this is not a trip report but what you need to know is that all my friends were down (after 12 hours tripping balls) but I was still really high. People were starting to sleep, and I felt like I was stuck in the trip with mid-hallucinations still happening at this point. It would not go away. I could not sleep while every single person was able to. I was stuck! So here I am – I am going through the worst anxiety of my life. I am questioning my sanity – I just want to go to the hospital, to be fixed. 24 hours later the trip, I am still hallucinating (distortions amplified by anxiety). Somehow, I managed to sleep – I think my brain and body could not take it anymore. I wake up 8hours later. I give a shout of joy! I am not hallucinating anymore; I am back! However, my HPPD is really strong now with serious derealization episodes and anxiety attacks the following weeks. Philosophy and playing with HPPD – After that trip, I decided to take a maximum interest in how to control my states, my thoughts - I discovered stoicism and meditation in the months after the trip. And all the philosophies that are focused on self-control, ego, purpose, nihilism, existentialism etc. Actually, I became interested in all the wise people who were willing to teach me how to live. I applied the theories I read and I started "playing" with my HPPD and my anxieties – I observed them, let them dominate me, try to dominate them sometimes. In fact, they had become my companions. And my view of them had changed. Instead of thinking that my HPPD was something terrible, I thought of it more as the memory of a life-changing experience... and as I changed my view of it, the suffering was gone! HPPD could be triggered by some situations sometimes but I was now able to ignore it... In fact, the one lesson I learned regarding this condition is: Decide to ignore your HPPD and it will no longer be a source of anxiety and despair. My life now – Today, I am 25 years old - I have a very good situation with a job that requires a lot of concentration and I can manage without any problems [When I was at my worst, I couldn't look at a screen or read a book for more than 10 seconds without everything starting to breathe/move quite heavily]. I started sport and I lead a rather positive life. In any case, my HPPD is no longer central in my life. I am cured. My anxiety still exists but it is not fed by HPPD, it has deeper origins. In fact, and strangely enough, this HPPD experience helps me to calm my anxiety because knowing that I have been able to overcome it (and the derealization and depersonalization it has caused) really gives me confidence in my strength! As Nietzche said: what does not kill me makes me stronger! And that is exactly what happened. With my curiosity and the help of a few wisemen, I got out of an incredibly negative loop. I still enjoy techno parties and take ecstasy sometimes with 0 problem. However, weed still makes me anxious... Except some rare moments when I am really relaxed (and alone). Also, I am now having some thoughts on taking shrooms... I don't know if I am gonna do it! I will let you know:) It will probably be really light doses. I wanted to say that my HPPD has not totally disappeared, it is my relationship to it that has changed! I can do whatever I want with it – it is my superpower in a way. When I am sitting in a bar for example, waiting for someone, I can make the letters on my phone breathe and it's fun, whereas 5 years ago it was overwhelmingly confusing, and I had no control of it. Conclusion This is my personal story – I wanted to share it to say that it is possible to get out of this! Good luck to all of you and if you suffer, please let me tell you this: If you can't change this thing that's happening to you, change the way you look at it.

I apologize to those who have been hurt by this post.

After a lot of research, i came across this medical review : https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3736944/Very interesting and rare hppd study. Overall, it seems that Lamotrigine has been able to cure long term HPPD like mine is , and for good, or significantly decrease visual disturbances and symptoms. I'm actually testing nootropics on many levels, but i'm willing to step-up to more epileptic oriented drugs. Anyone has more input about Lamotrigine on long lasted HPPD (mine is about 20 years old...) ?

I was wondering if they are around here people who can give us a testimonial of complete hppd recovery. Means no more symptoms at all, complete reverse to normal. If so, how did it happen, was it permanent ? How long did you endure HPPD ? Thanks in advance.I did experience one complete recovery when i was 18, 6 month after i got the first HPPD signs. I remember I had one smart drink loaded with Taurine, and i had that cheering feeling that my friends loved me. Maybe we smoked too that day. I was i the street, and then suddenly, It was gone, the snow and all. I felt again my 2 feet, grounded on earth. It was 100% reversed. Unfortunatly, it came back after a party with a very little shroom dosage. I remember the morning i was looking at the fire in the country side and it was back... 25 years ago...it's still there, and i'm not paying attention to it. but Damn, i wish i could figure out how to get rid of it still !

Hey guys i think i found the triger for recovery sorry for bad engrish This is called subliminal audio i has been known to cure many physical and mental problems so i ascume that this would help. I know this sounds like placebo but it is not i know because you can hear those voices in the video here is the video and update if it helps instructions are in the desciption

Hi everybody, I'm from Spain and im soffering this fucked shit HPPD since I was 15 yo. To the beginning i had several mild psychotic attacks. These were horrible, but suddenly they went. First symptoms were vs, halos, flashes, ed, low libido,depressión, anxiety, dp/Dr, panic attacks,... Nowadays i have a regular Life. I have a good job, i try don't to think about HPPD, i have girlfriend, but i feel that i have to give another Big step because we wanna hace childs and everyday since 10 years ago i take 1 pill of lorazepam and 1/2 of deprax, just to leave me sleep 6-7 hours at least. I want to leave them because i feel memory loss and other bother sympthoms. And because i want todo face It without drugs. As well i would like to know if someone else has soffered ed even to with Viagra. I don't know if it's a secondary HPPD effect, but i would bet for It. What do you think? My BEST wishes for all. I'm sure we can get much better and cure this shit. Sorry about my english.

>Visits the doctors about HPPD, doctor doesn't know anything about HPPD >Tells doctor about persisting drug-induced hallucinations and panic attacks, gets referred to a drug and alcohol service >Makes it clear that there is no history of addiction or continued use, gets referred to psychiatrists >Open to suggestion, trying not to be classed as a drug-seeker, I accept the anti-psychotic prescription Seroquel >Takes Seroquel, makes HPPD worse, notifies doctors of this >Is offered SSRI anti-depressants for panic attacks, rejected them >Prescribed antipsychotic Olanzepine (Zyprexa), which doesn't do anything for HPPD, and Diazepam (Valium) for panic attacks, which also does nothing >Moved to a mental health facility so that doctors can sort medication out >Psychiatrists conclude that panic disorder can fix itself and that the HPPD visuals are psychotic hallucinations >Prescribes Aripiprazole (Abilify), and took away the Diazepam, which made HPPD worse, and induced anxiety and hypertension (high blood pressure) Psychiatrists insist that benzo's are unsafe and should only be used short term due to risk of addiction, despite no history of addiction and the thousands of milligrams worth of any benzodiazepine it would take to actually be fatal. Big fuck you to every single doctor out there who hasn't done their research and has treated every HPPD patient like this. I have already explained to them that the most effective treatment for HPPD include anti-convulsants, but they do not listen. Instead they want to chuck as many anti-psychotics and anti-depressants at me as possible, hoping that I will come across one that will eventually kill me. These doctors are not here to help, they are here to kill and deny effective treatment. Even if addiction were a problem (which is not if you do not abuse medicaiton), I'd rather be addicted to a drug than have HPPD for the rest of my life. Now I will proceed to seek medication illegally because this medical system has failed me.

Hi! I have dizziness, motion sickness, severe head and neck pain/tension for more than 3 months now. The ache in my head is moving around .. I have it mostly at the front part of my head and the back of my neck. I don't have any (strong) visual disturbances (floaters, ghosting, etc.). Does anyone have similar symptoms? How did the head and neck pain evolve over time (e.g. gradually got better, disappeared/stayed)? Kind of freaking out that I have to live with it forever. Does anyone has experience with dizziness and motion sickness? Thank you!

Hello. This is my first post. I'm sorry for the length but I didn't want to miss anything. I strongly urge you to read this because maybe I can't help everyone but I know I can help people with this information. I used to visit this website because I was absolutly sure I had hppd. I experienced a bad acid trip approximately 6 months ago. I essentially had a panic attack mixed with acid and I thought I was going to die. When I came out of it I felt as if I couldn't feel emotion anymore. However, the next day I woke up and felt ok so I never did acid again but I continued to smoke weed. Now My health I would say had been someone deterioating over the last two years. Nothing medical (doctors find nothing wrong) but I just felt shitty. Tired, lethargic, no libido and just no enthusiasm. Now I was at a families for dinner and was staying over night and ate a big meal (many courses and desert). I experienced what was essentially the same feeling as when I did acid and was I started panicking and thought I was having a heart attack, stroke, brain aneurism, something of that nature. My dad took me to the hospital and they found nothing wrong with me other than slightly low sodium levels and told me that I just had anxiety and was having all the signs of a panic attack. I had never been much of an anxious person and so this both surprised me and unerved me. Now when this happened I worried that I was perhaps contracting a mental disorder and this is what it was like to go crazy from drugs. I spent my days as alone as possible going to school (I go to university in Canada) and them coming home and staying in my room. The worst was the feelings of what this website calls depersonalization and deraelization. I felt like I was living in a dream and wasn't myself. I also experienced bad versions of visual snow (seeing little blue and red spots especially in the dark. Now what I began to notice is that when I ate alot of carbohydrates I had symptoms of the panic,,,, and this is when I found it. I don't know if this is the exact medical reason but I discovered something called candida. Essentially it is a gut disorder that many people experience to varying degrees and mine was bad. The reason it causes these symptoms is that it has no harmful affects other than your body must fight to kill the infection that food causes when you have an overgrowth of this stuff (candida). If your like me your body has been fighting these infections from years and your body is just getting exhausted, particularly your adrenals. From what I've learned is that candida feeds on carbohydrates and any form of sugar. I began the candida diet which consists of only non-starchy vegetables (broccoli, spinach, zhuccini etc.), meats (not processed, my favourite being ground beef due to its cheapness) and then you can also use oils( ie. olive oil). I highly recommend you visit websites and research it yourself. I've been eating this way for approximately 2 months. The symptoms don't lift immediately but from day 1 you feel them lessening in degree. I have begun to feel so light and happy. I can't describe how amazing I feel. If I can help even one person lift from this hell and into the real world I will be happy but I hope that I can help everyone. Atleast try the diet out. The body at least in my opinion is not meant to eat all the carbs, dairy and processed food we eat. I wish you all the best and please post if you experience favourable or even unfavourable results.

ok just bear with me on this one...my name is michael and i am 23 yrs old and i'm from austria. over 2 years ago i took 2-cb for the first time, 2 days in a row and then a massive dose ~50mg, i have been smoking weed everyday 2 years prior...it would not go away...constant tracers...visual snow and worst of all...the closed-eye-visuals and after images....i called them "epileptical triangles in a spiral of pixels" and they were worst in the morning, in ´the shower and generally if im tired or stressed. Oh and coffee did make it worse for sure. used to say to my friends "as long as my eyes are open, everythings fine" i stopped weed for a couple of weeks...it got worse...or i was noticing it more i guess. everytthing was moving and washed out...i had problems with edge recognition and depth perception. i didnt want to get behind the wheel without a joint or bong rip so to calm my brain i guess. when looking at a wall i would see sparkles and stars, halos around lights...it sucked. i comsumed a quarter blotter of LSD twice in the following months...symtoms worsend. ok so no more drugs except weed because that suppressed it i guess. ok this week i stopped smoking weed...and could not sleep for days...it gets so much worse without weed and SLEEP...ok i was looking for supplements because of another issue with my back muscles and stumbled upon traditional chinese medicine, Astragalus membranaceus its an adaptogen...They’re called adaptogens because of their unique ability to “adapt” their function according to your body’s specific needs...it improves the immune system, cardiovascular system, and just like ginseng or jiaogulan (5-leaf ginseng) it promotes "Homoestasis" in your body/brain and was good for muscles, so i ordered a bottle from amazon. ok so recommended dose in traditional-chinese-medicine is 9-30g/day - i took 1x470mg in the afternoon and 1 in the evening..no response...went to bed....next day i hadnt slept more than 4 hours and had a dr's appointment, so i got in the car....10 minutes later into the drive i said to myself "hey theres something different...everything was so much clearer...the last time i saw THAT clearly was ....on the come-up of an lsd-trip" now hold on...without sleep it gets so much worse....why was i now seeing so clearly..i wasnt used to this in over 2 years HOLY SHit the f**** pills<<< my train of thought that was 2 days ago...afterimages GONE, tracers GONE, no more looking through a dirty pair of glasses and no more epileptical triangles dancing with pixels =) Now i still have some minor disturbances when looking at text...like a 1mm thin visual snow line between the lines of text, but i didnt even go high with my first dose...so try everything HERBAL before you try pharms. it did wonders for me in 2 days DOnT Believe me....TRY IT. i can recommend amazon. here some infos i found, but PLEAse do your own research as it is not good for people with autoimmune-disease because it stimulates the immune-response. http://www.itmonline.org/arts/astragalus.htm http://www.meschinohealth.com/ArticleDirectory/Astragalus_A_Powerful_Daily_Supplement_for_the_Immune_System http://www.mdidea.com/products/herbextract/astragalus/data10.html << good site TRADITIONAL INDICATIONS FOR ASTRAGALUS In the book Chinese-English Manual of Commonly Used Herbs in Traditional Chinese Medicine (13), five major actions and associated uses are given, as well as some miscellaneous new uses (item 6): Invigorate qi and spleen (poor appetite, loose stools, fatigue, and bleeding). Invigorate qi to activate yang (prolapse of stomach, uterus, or rectum) Invigorate qi to strengthen the body (common cold in debilitated patients, profuse sweating due to weakness) Relieve skin infection and promote tissue regeneration (abscesses, skin erosion, unhealthy wound); also for erosion of stomach lining (ulcer, atrophic gastritis) Promote diuresis and relieve edema (spleen-deficiency type edema). Miscellaneous new uses: diabetes, hemiplegia, asthma, and leukocytopenia (low white blood cells); astragalus is indicated for these disorders in cases of qi deficiency or qi and yang deficiency. Astragalus mongholicus is used in china as neuroprotectant with psychological effects like anti-anxiety and anti-depressant properties. there are a couple species within the astragalus family...and theres a whole world of herbs...you just need to research them please do your research..please stop smoking weed and just begin a healthy lifestyle > eating, exercising now sorry for my english, as im from austria....and im tired now.....i will answer your questions tomorrow bye

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Ok so a complete shot in the dark here but we know that the more you think about hppd the worse it is. So what if we give ourselves some kind of amnesia that makes us forget we ever acquired hppd. We wouldn't be thinking about it at all then. This is probably really far fetched but whatever i just thought about it so i figure i might as well think out loud.

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