bpl4269

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bpl4269 last won the day on July 23 2014

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About bpl4269

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  1. I am going to keep this post short and succinct. My life is a fallacy. I am a waste of money, time and resources. I desire nothing more than for my existence to cease. Yet, I do not have the heart, nor the courage to follow through with the act on my own accord. I simply feel as if I am waiting for death to sweep me off my feet, and take me to a tranquil place, where suffering of this magnitude cannot exist. I'm through with this life.
  2. Thanks so much for that inspirational post. I really do hope that things improve for me. Idk what else to say. I feel that I have said everything already.
  3. Thanks so much for that inspirational post. I really do hope that things improve for me. Idk what else to say. I feel that I have said everything already.
  4. Thanks so much for that inspirational post. I really do hope that things improve for me. Idk what else to say. I feel that I have said everything already.
  5. Yes, I have changed my diet. I eat all organic foods and I juice vegetables. I exercise when I can, but I work a lot; and I don't smoke, so thats not really a factor.
  6. And I have had this for over a year now and it has only become worse. What do I have to look forward to exactly? At this rate, I will be home bound within a year. Especially when I will inevitably be forced to withdraw from clonazepam.
  7. At the present moment I don't even care about the visuals. They no longer make me anxious in the slightest. The dp is what is eating me alive from the inside out. It makes the depression run far too deep. It makes me despise the thought of waking up in the morning. I am also extremely disappointed in myself for going the clonazepam route. It's all just a cluster fuck of issues culminating into the miserable existence I currently refer to as my "life." Though this is surely not living. It is simply existing.
  8. I know I have been fairly inactive lately on this web page. In fact, I don't believe I have logged on in a few months. Well, that's beside the point. Things have gotten increasingly more intense visual wise. My dp had almost gone until I took a cbd supplement derived from medical cannabis, which brought it back full force. I am at a present state of acceptance for the most part, but it is saddening that this has become my daily existence. I feel handicapped to an extent. Yet the only difference is that no one can visually recognize my handicap and empathise. So I am treated with the same disrespect as any other employee at my job, and my parents never cut me a break. In short, life is miserable. I have lost hope. My lyme disease continues to exacerbate my hpod, and I am dependent on clonazepam. I am also taking lamotrigine which has done nothing. I have tried levetiracetam as well, to no avail. I am at a loss. Death seems to be the only logical path. I don't know what to do or where to turn anymore. My life is a wreck.
  9. Alright qaiphyx. I really do not appreciate your heir of superiority. I do have dp/dr and severe anxiety as well so please do not try and pretend like I am some ignorant kid seeking validation. You still hardly answered my question. I asked specifically about visuals. Not comorbid symptomology. If you would like to discuss that, then I would be more than willing, but if not I suggest you leave it be and let someone else with something of value to participate in this discussion. I have been on this board for quite a while fyi.
  10. So how bad are your symptoms? I tend to get lost in a spiral of self pity and lose sight of the big picture. I know things could be worse, but everyone around me is so happy go lucky its hard to gain perspective on my situation. So how bad is your vision on a day to day basis?
  11. No I dont have the colors or traces, but yes. It fucking sucks man. Sounds much worse for you though. Sorry man :-(
  12. Yes, the soviet union and the us were experimenting on people with it with the purpose of mind control. Fucked up if you ask me.
  13. Its almost like I constantly see an outline of my nose in my vision. Especially when I look down at my phone. It makes me very anxious and its a very difficult feeling to accept.
  14. Does anyone else have this symptom? It seems like me and wooshka are the only ones...
  15. Maybe mild dampening of afterimages, but could be placebo.