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Shannondances

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Everything posted by Shannondances

  1. I haven't been on here in a while cuz my symptoms have gotten so much better. But now its gotten ten times worse. Jjus by taking trazodone. I've been having trouble sleeping so I decided to take some to help me sleep. I took it two nighs in a row now and that's what put me over the edge. I woke up with migraine like symptoms and my visual snow was worse than I've ever seen it. I felt confused and disoriented even. Dont take these pils. I thought saris wouldnt have the same effect as ssris but it seems they do.
  2. I found this drug online called Kanna(sceletium tortuosum). It apparently mixes well with weed and is supposed to just be very calming. Some websites are saying it could be considered an ssri which probably isn't a good idea to do but I'm not sure. I have'nt smoked anything but weed in while and I'm not sure I should try new drugs anymore because my hppd is calming down. Have you guys heard anything about this stuff? http://azarius.net/smartshop/psychedelics/psychedelic_herbs/sceletium_tortuosum_kanna/
  3. ferret- I have that all the time before I try to sleep. I'll close my eyes and see lots of shapes shifting growing and moving or I'll see faces. The faces are sometimes angry or sad. I try to ignore it.
  4. Why can't I look at a beautiful sky and see just the sky..?

  5. Wow very interesting about the Hypnagogia/ Hypnagogic stuff. Sounds kinda the same but not exactly. But it led me to another page about sleep paralysis. Anybody else had this? After I read it I felt relieved it was a real thing... it hasn't happened to me very often i would say 2 or 3 times but it's very scary and I feel like I'm about to wake up but I'm still in this dream like state and I cannot move my body no matter how hard I try. It has made me very anxious and I've had scary thought and nightmares during the time. I just remember a very urging sense that I needed to get up and move otherwise something very bad would happen.
  6. Happy Birthday I'm sorry that happened but I'm a terrible hypochondriac. i've always been semi paranoid about so many things because diseases interest me and then I just research and make myself think I have it. I just tell myself not to worry about anything. If I actually had something serious then there would be more serious side effects and so on. So just ignore it unless something happens which it usually doesn't haha
  7. That's how I am, I have terrible visual snow and some weird visuals and I've stopped because of what everyone on here has said. I'm so glad I found this website otherwise idk where I would be in my life right now.
  8. I almost tried mxe once but never got a chance too... i miss experimenting such a rush everytime. Almost everytime I listen to really good dirty dubstep i think of mol.y and miss it but know i can never try it again. Sadly and i no this sounds terrible but really wish i couldve tried many more drugs..im still in college and oppurtunities keep coming up and i gotta say no..
  9. I don't take any meds even though I wish I did to get rid of my visuals. I just don't want to get addicted to a different drug and then things get worse again.
  10. Yeah exactly it's just random nonsense comes into my head. Doesn't make any sense and it's so hard to explain. other people don't understand.
  11. I'm so neutral. On everything. I have no right to judge anyway with the state I am in.

  12. Some thoughts i decided to type down across a few nights right as i was falling asleep. the way my mind works now just seems different to me and was just wondering if anyone else felt the same.. Night 1 blinds expand and shrink as the air breathes right in front of my eyes. Sparkly and new like a whole different life form. my shape moves through it in slow mo... but things get blurry and things start to quake the brightness overtakes me yet as i rest my head the tension in it grows and the afterimages of the night remain and surface. my touch and movements are beyond my thinking they go through their motions. Everythings different everythings changed whats happened to me am i the same? Night 2 i felt for a moment as if i was sleeping in a tent. so comfortable with all of nature around me... the sounds are so soothing... it felt like a lifetime slumber but it was only a second. Night 3 Where did my mind go? i think i left it somewhere forgotten by all. its an area that no one goes. the area of the night we forgot about and where we forget ourselves. if only it would come back but i cannot go back there..not now. if i had myself in one piece i could figure things out and if i figured things out, my piece would come back to me. Night 4 My vision changes. therefore my mind changes. everythings different and so is my thinking. with my new mindset, i see more..yet i see less. i see the now for othere but where am i? Night 5 once again i stare at the blinds but this time they look unreal. it strains my mind, my eyes, my thoughts. were they always in the wall like that? ... in that way?... the strangeness of them perplexes me...
  13. I feel like... going to college and dealing with this is hard i dont tell my friends about it and continue to party i just have to take it easy sometimes and they dont get it
  14. I understand. I see shape and patterns almost in my static. I feel like you described it very well. I feel like i could move and mold my static with my hands sometimes and fling my hand through it and make lines. Its crazy but i'm so happy to feel not alone.
  15. I feel like medical books aren't even the greatest even thought they are approved... by who? but anyway new shit comes out every day and new drugs are tried every day you cannot tell me that everything in the book is right. We tend to get things wrong.
  16. I have decided now that I see visual snow and other things in my vision not to do LSD but at the time it seemed like a good idea I am 18 but I've decided hallucinagins are not the best choice for me
  17. I've said On here before that I've never actually tripped. Well I'm remembering one time my friends and I actually tried to get some LSD. It came in foil on little pieces of paper with green dots on them. We had our night planned out before we took them and ten they never kicked in. I didn't see any visuals but jus felt very drowsy and very high all night. Any ideas what this could have been?
  18. Wow I cOmpletely understand everything you said... Well best of luck to you I'm sure someday we will have something to be better
  19. Most of the day I think of HPPD. I cannot get my mind of off it. It's completely bearable my visuals have actually gotten better. But this website is like an addiction for me. I get on here and will read things forever. I cannot look away. I hope my symptoms don't get worse but the fact that i worry about my symptoms makes me think of them and realize they're there again. Does anybody else have a problem forgetting about it? I'm just wondering if anyone has any suggestions to help me get my mind off of this stuff...
  20. Drinking doesn't really make my symnptoms worse till the next morning then it seems that once all the alcohol is out of my system my eye sight gets much better its jus the morning after thats a bitch
  21. I get vertigo and dizziness and I have to drink massive amounts of water to make it go away but drinking tons of water definitely does help
  22. I've also seen tracers since before I knew what they were. Since I was little and didn't even know about drugs and alcohol. Idk what this means or if it has anything to do with this..
  23. Thank you so much. I've read so much on here and I don't want it to happen. What does do and dr do to you? Cuz my dad used to do a lot of drugs and he was not mentally stable at the end of his life and I'm wondering if this is genetic. My friends also thin I'm jus overreacting and im jus nervous... I want to make sure I'm not making it up I mean my vision is definitely not right and it hasn't been for a while once I found this I was convinced I had very mild signs of it. I get headaches from looking at things sometimes like the things I'm looking at are his weird...
  24. Also if I look at something for a moment I can see traces of it when my eyes move away. Lights or otherwise. I see shifts in my vision randomly and sometimes with my heartbeat. Things jus look strange and no one knows what I'm talking about..
  25. Ok I'm not sure if I actually have hppd but there's something wrong with my eyes. I've never actually tripped but ive smoked weed and taken Molly. My eyes are getting better since I've slowed down though. When I have my eyes oped or closed I always see sparkly static no matter what. If I'm in a dark area or dark room with a tv it gets worse and sometimes it's hard to see anything with the static. Also, if I look at a carpet with a strange pattern the floor will start to seem to shift and move strangely. If I look at tile floor with small tiles I see lines that aren't there and will just stare in awe at the floor. If I don't drink massive amounts of water I get dizzy spells/lightheaded/starry eyed. Sometimes my mind zones out and I have no clue where it goes. I can stare at something and not realize it. This doesn't happen anymore but I also used to have random thoughts about nasty and violent things. Blood, gore, peoples insides, and cutting of skin. What does this mean? Cann anyone help me out?
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