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Everything posted by HDDeer

  1. It may just be me getting used to hppd but i find my all cevs to be fading, i find my visual snow to even be less when my eyes are closed as opposed to when theyre opened. Its like im getting a taste of what its like pre trip. Itll be 4 months in 5 days. Unfortunately it seems that when my eyes are opened the static is constant.
  2. Like unlucky said. I wasnt trying to be rude or belittle you, but if you ceased everything for a year you might be surprised.
  3. I thought it was odd when you said no drugs then you mentioned your thc use. If its something that bothers you i would cease all drugs including alcohol, cigarettes and coffee, and yes that includes shatter and bud.
  4. Did you have visual snow at any point? Do you still?
  5. A "madhouse" could be the best thing for him. Drug induced psychosis can be a very serious matter, im no doctor but it sounds like hes currently acting out as a paranoid schizofrenic. He could very well harm someone or himself, i beg of you to take him to a hospital
  6. Porn is f****d, sorry but theres no other way to put it. I didnt fap for the last 7 days and i felt better the only thing that dragged me down was wanting to keep watching it and fapping. Then today i caved in and i was a total dick to everybody. I couldve swore my visuals instantly got worse too. Im done with porn.
  7. My doctor prescribed me 0.5 mg of klonopin to take when needed, how should i take it so it reduces visuals.
  8. I took 4mg of klono the first night, no affects followed the next day. Took 1mg a few days ago and had extreme rebound anxiety and paranoia the day after. I also took 4mg of lorazepam(ativan) a week prior to the 4mg of klonopin. Im not trying to step on anyones toes but i see the argument wether or not if benzos are addictive or a dependent, and if i had to choose id say dependent. I dont see how anyone would want to long term use with these. As a matter of fact id almost prefer not to take benzos. Ive read that in most cases whoever has taken klono has been extremely helpful to them, i for one am not an example. I wonder what that means in terms of my "hppd"
  9. Does anyone here order any kind of prescription drugs from a website? I saw one from lucid a few years ago but it seems that site is no longer working. If anyone has any please comment or message me
  10. I have read from most people while they may suffer from visual symptoms it does seem that dpdr does taper off in most cases
  11. This is mainly to the newcomers like myself. For those of you just entering your days of hppd, take it from someone who also hasnt had it for very long, ive only had it for 3 months. The first month to months could very well be a hellish ride straight to satans throne. But one thing id tell you is to not lose hope, insert yourself into discussions with friends and on forums(not just about hppd but anything) take some recommended vitamins like vitamin d3 and b complex and magnesium, get a therapist you can talk to and stay active, all these things will help you get better. While my visual symptoms have not subsided, my physical symptoms on the other hand have. Ive always had social anxiety tho, so for the most part i would say i definitely feel like myself again. I attempted suicide in my first month and its now my third month and im so glad i never did. If theres three things of most importance i could tell you to do 1. Acceptance(accept this is your life as of right now, you cant dwell on the fact you MIGHT have this for the rest of your life because you also MIGHT NOT. My girlfriend told me i just need to take it one day at a time, we live day by day not month by month or day by month, you dont know if youll have this tomorrow or a month from now or a year, which leads to my second) 2. Never give up hope (Accepting that you have it in my opinion is a great step to recovery. But also being hopeful in the possibility of recovery is very important) Acceptance and being positive/hopeful are two great things to feel towards hppd. Its at that point imo you can feel true improvement and recovery. 3. CEASE ALL DRUGS. I cant stress that one enough, let your brain rest. Those in my opinion are the three best things to do when faced with hppd. Granted i may have it milder than a lot of hppders but i do want you guys to know i havent smoked or dosed since the onset, i drank maybe 3 or 4 times(avoid that too if you can) i also have a foot injury right now but most of my improvement came when i was going to the gym and running and sweating like a dog. Hppd isnt the end, but in a lot of ways its an eye opener.
  12. Hey man i have the patterns on the walls too. Do they create any shapes or detail? You mentioned severe headaches/migranes?? That sounds like something that could be causing your visuals. Make sure you see a neurologist about that. I know people who see static who havent even taken drugs. Imo its common to see with certain illnesses.
  13. You likely wont get an answer from anyone who is completely cleared up because they wouldnt be on these boards anymore. But youre getting better, so keep fighting the good fight
  14. Hey man. I too have that extreme pareidolia. When you look in your jeans is it only faces you see or can they have bodies too?
  15. Hi all, 19th of march this year i microdosed 3 tabs of acid(my second time doing lsd) after my trip i had a really bad time(felt like tv shows were attacking my insecurities, felt like something watching me, hallucinating a white demonic looking face in the centre of my eye) that has all subsided now, and i am now left with ghosting, visual snow, afterimages and very minor palinopsia. As far as dp/dr goes i no longer feel like a zombie when im in crowds but as long as ive been alive ive felt numb so i cant say i really "feel" things. Anyways, as far as progress goes im feeling pretty good about it. My paranoia is gone and i dont have a whole lot of anxiety. I do tend to have mood shifts an awful lot(between angry-neutral) ill get jolts of happiness but they never really last. My hppd i fine also comes with a weird type of pareidolia where if i look in my jeans i can see little tiny people with weird faces. I also have the ability to see reptiles and demons if i stare at floor with pattern long enough(which makes my visual snow worse, i think its kinda like colour shifts??) Im definitely open to the idea of being schizophrenic or bipolar(i do believe im bipolar tbh) i saw shadow people on my lsd trip. Anyways recently ive started taking the supplements: NAC OMEGA 3 LIONS MANE L TYROSINE GINKO BILOBA. I am very interested in taking piracetam with choline as ive heard some good things but also some bad. My doctor prescribed me lexapro and seroquel but im not interested in taking those until at least up to or over a year. I will be trying to take keppra or lamotrigine after the 6th month mark. Anyways thats my story for the most part. I look forward to hearing your responses.
  16. Do you have visual snow?
  17. Thx Doc! My drug days are definitely over. But im still able to see patterns in stuff if i allow my brain to recognize it. In a way i dont exactly see that as a bad thing other than the fact my mind is creative. I dont notice anything in trees or leaves though. But yes anything with swirls, wood grain or patterns on a wall my brain will make its own pattern. I do find that its going away. At the start of it all i could see it in my hands and in my bed covers. But after 40+ years i can imagine wanting a break. But just know the world is only as you percieve it. Just because you can see it and someone else cant doesnt mean its not there!
  18. Is that before you continued to do drugs or after? I got hppd from my last lsd trip but havent touched any hallucinogen or weed since. Edit: i will also say that there is a bathroom in my sisters house with swirling patterns and in that flooring i have 3 entity like figures burned into my head every time i look at the floor.
  19. I agree with this. It may not be full to what your saying. But i believe hppd stems from an underlying disorder. I dont hppd itself is an actual disease you give yourself just because you did drugs. I think its the way drugs manifest your disease and temporaily or permanently make your disease and/or visuals worse.
  20. You have no idea what it was like at first! I believed i fired up some schizophrenic gene but eventually it died down. Im so much better than i was two months ago which is why i like to follow hppd pages and sites so i can tell people no matter how scary it is you can plow through it.
  21. I have no doubt about iy. I also believe because youre so young your brain still has growing to do so that right there should help. But like i said, dont push yourself further down the rabnit holr
  22. After psychedelic use youre very prone to flashbacks if you smoke weed. Your case isnt even the first ive heard of where people dont get it till their first thc use post trip. Theres a good chance every time you smoke weed now at least for a long time, your high will be more psychedelic like. If your visuals are only mild now i think youll be okay. But its likely that your drug days are over. Im not as experienced with hppd as ive only had it for over two months but theres guys on here like jay and doc who have had it for a very long time and continued to do drugs when they first noticed their symptoms and they likely will have it until they pass.
  23. Its likely because youre so young and your brain isnt fully developed yet. Im on the hppd page on facebook and there was a 16 year old who got it from smoking weed like two or three times but he took a thre month break and he was back to normal. Youre only young so im sure youll wanna experience drugs when youre older, but if youre prone to hppd i encourage you to stay away.
  24. I will be sure to look out for it. Today was my first day taking all of them and i actually had moments where i had no visual snow at and very little ghosting. Ive also noticed that it usually contributes to my mood as well.