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Everything posted by TheMythos

  1. -My grandmother died October 13. We were close. -Nov 3, quit cigarettes, got on Nicorette spray. Quit nicotine November 15. -November 20, start drinking coffee all day every day, too lethargic from quitting smoking and felt like I had a constant dopamine deficiency. -HPPD got so much worse after quitting smoking. It's been 3 months, no urges or cravings to smoke whatsoever. Images got worse and became more body-centric. I'll see my ribcage in my head, my stomach, feel weird and trippy sensations. -I'll fluctuate between feeling horrible for a week or two to feeling 70-80%, one day I felt 90-95. The fluctuation and plateauing is worrying me. I just want to get better and stay at a constant 80%. I could live the rest of my life comfortably at 80%. -Sleep schedule the past 2 weeks has been insane. Staying up all day and night, and the next day to fix it. Staying up for 2 days straight. Getting 4 hours, 6, 12, 4, 6, 4, you get the picture. I feel when I'm at a consistent week at 8 hours a night I'll feel better. -Fixing my diet because I have GERD. Eating less, better, cut out sugar. -Attempting NoFap. -Applying to jobs. Looking for something that I can handle. ******** My life is still very, very stressful and there's a lot of family stuff going on that I didn't mention. I feel like if a lot of this external stress diminished my symptoms would get better. Sometimes I feel like I need a 3rd party perspective because I can't see all the issues at once. Hope you guys are doing alright.
  2. I got a job and was 80-85 most days. Getting out and being busy and being around people is the closest thing for a cure to me. To me this is some kind of attentional and anxiety disorder. I could literally feel the hppd dissipating as the anxiety and hypervigilance has melted away I the past 8 months.
  3. "Wow I belong on this thread. I had no idea what a panic attack was or really what anxiety was until the height of my PMO addiction (edging for 5-8 hours almost everyday). Then one day in an instant I lost the vision in my right eye (my first migraine with visual aura) and simultaneously had a panic attack with extreme derealization. It was the scariest shit ever! I was at work and I got in my car to drive home. I called my wife and was trying to explain what was going on and I couldn't even talk. I couldn't figure out when to stop and when to go at the traffic lights. It felt like there was something in my brain that "snapped". From that day on, for about a year, I had absolutely the worst anxiety - unimaginable - a serious living hell. I would get awful visual snow during panic attacks. My hair started falling out. My eyes become absurdly sensitive to light and I had to wear sunglasses during the day at my office. I had derealization but not every moment of every day - it would just come and go at unpredictable times - in stores and in face-to-face conversations were the worst. I went to the ER thinking I had brain cancer or aneurysm. They did brain scan and nothing. Doctor prescribed me therapy visits. That's when I started to learn about depression and anxiety and how thoughts affect emotions. I was still PMOing but knew that was at least a big part of the problem.Someone else in this thread mentioned feeling like explosions of air or electrical buzz was happening in their brain. Yes!! Sometimes it was like there was a perfume bottle in my brain and someone was spritzing it. There would be "shifts" between areas of the brain that were buzzing.Ok so here's the deal: I have not masturbated or watched porn for almost 6 months - since August 17. I don't have panic attacks, I don't have depression or anxiety (there are occasional "flatlines" with depression/anxiety and that last about a week or so each time), I don't have visual snow, my hair grew back, I don't have any episodes with derealization, etc.... I'd say it took about 6 good weeks for symptoms to really clear up pretty good, then another 2 months or so before they were almost non-existent.Keep in mind that I've applied myself 100% toward reboot. For me reboot is bigger than just quitting porn and masturbation. It's about getting into proper, healthy shape mentally and emotionally. I take reboot very seriously. You can read my journal for a report of the progression of my reboot. Unfortunately, I didn't sign up for the NoFap sight until day 69 of my reboot, so there's no journal of the first 68 days.I have absolutely no doubt that quitting PMO is what made the difference for me. I hope you do whatever it takes to quit and find out for yourself. It's not easy but it's actually much harder to live with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, shame, derealization, etc.... I'm pulling for you!!"
  4. Glad you've pretty much recovered. I, too, consider this some form of PTSD brought on by HPA axis, hippocampal, and amygdalic dysfunction.
  5. Yeah, but in order to have excitotoxicity the MDMA user has to overheat.
  6. "Life is suffering." G. Buddha, 2500 years ago
  7. I have 26. Minimum is 30, 50 is optimal.
  8. Intermittent fasting is the optimal healthy way of eating for human beings regardless of HPPD. Eating every 2-3 hours is just going to overload your system. Digesting constantly wears the body out.
  9. Haven't you said before that back in the 90s you were an addict and would stay up for days taking MDMA and partying? What about that isn't psychological? Everyone on this forum probably had some deep-seated psychological issues going on before the onset of hppd, whether they want to admit it or not.
  10. Yeah, but I mean...every single symptom you listed is a symptom of severe anxiety. Every single one.
  11. Life.
  12. I'm skeptical of anyone saying anything can worsen anything permanently. Stroke victims who can't speak or lift their arms are able to with time and treatment. Don't believe anything just because the internet said.
  13. In other words, a dysfunction in the HPA axis. Chronic stress, a frazzled nervous system. It's one of the reasons I keep getting better, then getting seriously stressed out and my symptoms coming back full force for a week or two. Like a yo-yo. The nervous system is trying to heal but it has an extremely low tolerance for stress, so any amount internal or external is going to cause a setback. Curcumin heals stress-induced dysfunction in the HPA axis and is a powerful anti-inflammatory. It's probably one of our best bets along with a good diet and exercise. You need to take it for 8 weeks though.
  14. How do you become a research subject?
  15. People with severe anxiety see after-images, floaters, trails, and micropsia/macropsia, have DPDR and other HPPD-like symptoms (obsessive thoughts and constant checking are up there too). Claiming HPPD is purely neurologic is the same as saying anxiety is purely neurological. I'm of the opinion that it's more on the mental illness spectrum than the neurological, meaning that it's a behavioral issue, not a neurological one. And it all really depends on your definitions. People with OCD have completely recovered by changing their behavior and rewiring their brains. Check out Mark Freeman on YouTube who no longer considers himself to have the illness. My friend Sam who used to post on here was addicted to coke and spice, smoked weed, got HPPD from acid, had insane visuals, DPDR and cotard's syndrome, got prescribed klonopin 6 mg a day for 2 years, got off of it, went through an 8 month withdrawal, got therapy and hypnosis and rebuilt his life, and 99% of his symptoms are now gone. Stress makes it worse. We all know that. Occam's Razor suggests that HPPD is an anxiety disorder brought on by drug use. In other words, it's an attentional disorder. Whatever you pay attention to becomes your reality.
  16. Stress makes dpdr worse. You need to get to a point in your life where most major stressors are eliminated. We can't eliminate them all, but we can eliminate enough of them to give us some breathing room. Also try adaptogenic herbs and exercise for resiliency to stress.
  17. Mom died > trauma > DPDR/drug addiction. It's normal for humans to want to escape the pain of reality. You're one of those people who can't do drugs, so you have to figure out a way to cope in some healthier way, like martial arts or lifting weights or writing or something.
  18. NAC

    Anyone tried it? Should I start with 600mg (one pill) a day? Mike Cernovich made a post on his blog claiming it cured his anxiety and depression. That'd be half the battle for me.
  19. I recently got with a new behavioral health provider and she sent off for a genetic test to see which meds might best work for me. It'll be interesting to see what comes up.
  20. We should come up with a list of the best supplements and foods to help alleviate the symptoms of HPPD. Right now I'm just starting a daily dose of 5000 UI Vitamin D, then I'll be adding NAC, brahmi, and folic acid. I might start adding flaxseed oil in there after a month or two. Diet: basic fruits and vegetables, not really going hardcore on specific foods just making my diet better from shit to decent. 20 minutes of aerobic exercise a day.
  21. Has anyone ever experienced a symptom reduction or feeling more "normal" on stimulants like Adderal or other dopaminergic drugs?
  22. Has anyone tried this? I know a lot of people have had success with keppra and this is supposed to be its successor. Except it has a 20 fold more affinity to the receptors it binds to compared to keppra.