I'mNotQuiteSure

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About I'mNotQuiteSure

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  1. I don't know exactly how it is to experience visual snow, I had it for a short time and very mildly, but weird enough it faded away.
  2. Hmmm, it's just a theory, I also hope it's wrong haha. But the aeropsia/visual snow can also accompany tinnitus, couldn't that mean that it's more of a registration/filter issue rather then a issue in the visual cortex. It just seems like it's very heigthened brain activity in some way, but the cause or what is keeping it in full motion isn't clear. I am not very familiar with neurological science sorry haha, I'm just basing this on things I've read and some theories.
  3. I think you're right. That would also explain why benzos affect the intensity for some people, and for some people not. The brain is possible to recover from a chemical imbalance, but not from neurodegeneration (maybe in a few years with very advanced technology). A chemical imbalance isn't considered as damage I believe. This would be way easier to resolve. I'm trying a lot of things to get my dopamine levels up and cortisol levels down. I feel it's improving significantly, which could conclude (not 100% sure) it's a chemical imbalance, behold in MY case, don't know if this is the case for everyone. It would be a very logical conclusion because benzos can also cause it, and benzos aren't known for inserting brain damage. It truly differs from person to person. It's just a question how to get everything back in order, and that's why you really have to help your brain a lot to do so. If people can recover from strokes/benzo withdrawals with the exact same symptoms/lyme disease and some other cases, like in your case SSRI's makes me believe that HPPD can also be cured 100%! (Not sure if that's the case in every case). Remember, the brain is a very complicated organ, like I saw on some forum, the brain is a big lump of meat with electricity running through it which can be shook up real bad. But it can also be trained and altered. If these distortions can happen, there is also a way to make them reverse in some way, maybe time i guess, or a pill that we just haven't found yet. My guess is that time is the healer, and for a lot of people it really was. There are not a lot of succes stories on HPPDonline because this is a support forum rather then a forum to post succes stories. If you look around on the bluelight forum you'll find a lot more succes stories, really a LOT. But they just didn't need support forums like this or maybe left after a while. I saw a post yesterday on the bluelight forum with someone who recovered and stating the exact same thing. "Once my visual disturbances were gone I just felt normal, I completely forgot about HPPD, it's like a trauma that you don't want to look back to. But after a few years I got remembered by a friend of mine, and I thought about how I felt back then. But I'm here for you guys to show that it can happen, and I'm very happy in life. Never forget where you came from!" He wanted to help people who are suffering from it now, but that shows that even if you recovered, you just want to let it behind you. We'll find a way! keep your hopes up guys...
  4. Here is an example of someone who recovered from it from benzo withdrawal. I think this should also be considered as HPPD because it's long lasting, and all the symptoms are the same. There are a lot more succes stories on the Benzo Buddies forum because it's a community that is not based on one condition, but on everything that has to do with benzos. Some people on that forum also suffered from these symptoms for multiple months and even years. So it's just a process of healing and patience. When dr. Abraham states that 50% fully recovers, I think he's telling the truth and also includes visual disturbances, because that's the main issue for most sufferers.
  5. I don't believe it's caused by neuronal death at all. A lot of people get symptoms after months. In my opinion it's a chemical imbalance/overstimulated neurotransmitters. I read a lot of stories of people that also got rid of the visual symptoms. I personally suffer from palinopsia only.
  6. Actually, while i'm at it, have you ever used benzos? And if you did, how long did the full on effect last. Like when your visual disturbances diminished or something, did they come back after 1 day or not? Just curious how long it works ahah. And has anyone else?
  7. That's good to hear! There could be a connection between these two because if your dopamine is imbalanced it's not a very smart thing to stimulate it a lot? I'm also going to try it for a while. Just trying to get the chemical imbalance in the right order again. Who knows where this will lead to? Did some symptoms improve? I read that overmasturbation can cause some other neurological disturbances like brain fog / derealization, some people also noticed depression. At this moment I only suffer from palinopsia which really sucks, I should actually be happy that things are improving so good and considerably fast for me, but still I am trying to put my mind in this. It's a very disturbing experience...
  8. Yeah, exactly. Maybe it was the combination of the two for me. I think it's practically the same disorder, but with different causes. I read a story about someone who stopped benzos cold turkey too, he never used psychedelics, and had these exact same symptoms. He went to his nearest dr. and he confirmed that his dopamine receptors were inbalanced/"burned out" because of medicine use. The doctor made some kind of plan for him to give his brain enough rest and to let the dopamine receptors recover/heal. He also followed the YBOP program (Your Brain On Porn). Which just means you stop masturbating for a long long time. This does make some sense though, while ejaculating your brain also fires off dopamine, that could mean shortage of dopamine in overmasturbation. Going a bit off topic right now guys, I know. But my point here is, isn't it a good idea to quit masturbation for a while then? I'm going to try at least, just to see where it leads me. And I thought there was also dopamine in the visual cortex/eyes? So maybe that could be the cause of some visual symptoms that don't get filtered out. This was just an hypothesis of mine, it's quite a long shot, but who knows. If it works, it works... BTW, a man in England reported on a visual snow forum that his visual snow and other symptoms disappeared after not masturbating for a while. He does still see visual snow on darker objects (very mildly he said), and just thinks it could've been like that before, you just don't have anything to compare it with anymore which is understandable. Chronic lyme disease/late stage lyme disease also has very similar symptoms to HPPD. I guess it's overstimulation of the brain/chronic or long term fatigue. We just need to find a cure that will decrease the neural activity to an extent, and thats a freaking hard thing to find ahah. I believe that there is something to cure it, 1. Time 2. Welllll, haven't quite figured that out but yeah. I'll keep y'all updated if I see some progress!
  9. And also: I noticed that my symptoms literaly decreased to what i consider as 5% the two times I did use benzos in my so thought "HPPD" / "PAWS". But I also had a bad trip so I don't really know where I belong at this point...
  10. Hey guys, in the past I have used a lot of benzos (oxazepam) for what I thought was an anxiety disorder. Well that cleared up very well over the past few months and I don't consider it as a disorder, just natural anxiety. I did some research on benzo withdrawal the other day, and came across something very interesting. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-acute-withdrawal_syndrome this is a popular term on the forum: Benzo Buddies. PAWS: Post Acute Withdrawal syndrome. This may have nothing to do with a lot of people on this forum, but some can take this in consideration. PAWS is a syndrome that can occur after using benzos for a period around 1-3 months or longer. I read about some people who were suffering from this on the Benzo Buddies forum, and they were suffering from very similar symptoms as HPPD. Suddently my mind became rather clear and i thought: 'why didn't i think of this before.' They reported similar symptoms like afterimages, trails, static, seeing shadows, stuff in the corners of their eyes that arent there, light flashes and tracers. Could this be related? And maybe for some people this was the answer all along? I'm not quite sure if this is the case for me, i used oxazepam for about 3 months but not always everyday. I stopped semi-cold turkey, i stopped in a week so i'd consider that sort of cold turkey. So what do you guys think? Is it PAWS in my case or HPPD. The only symptoms i have now are afterimages and floaters. Just think about it, have you used benzos for a long time and stopped? Or still use them and got weird symptoms. I think this might be the case for some people on this forum, and maybe myself. I'm not a specialist or anything, just curious what you guys think about this. I never experienced mine as 'trippy' but just visual distortions. Ugh i hate the label 'trippy'. http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=131814.0 this is the thread I was talking about. Take a look if you want! I read that these symptoms usually fully diminish, but this could also take months and for heavy users even years. So a little bit the same as HPPD. But there are people in that thread who actually fully recovered. Some of them also considered it as a little bit 'trippy'. I think there is DEFINITELY a connection between these two, and for some of you who still use benzos, try to not use them (if you're mentally able to, believe me i know how hard it is) for a few weeks/months and wait for some improvement. houdoe, adios, ciao! Hope this was useful for some of you!
  11. Yeah i know. This may sound dramatic but i am always unlucky, and that's why i think it's HPPD in the back of my mind. It could also be a very mild case, or just similar and hopefully temporarily symptoms. Palinopsia/afterimages is really the only symptom i still have, which is weird because palinopsia is always a symptom and not an condition. I asked for help on the bluelight forum and most of them said palinopsia will go away by itself. I just hope this is a short-term thing, and i believe it is because i've seen significant improvement. And probably improvement most people with HPPD would kill for. I also believe that HPPD could be divided in two sections. Section 1: Symptoms: Visual snow, trailing, palinopsia, micropsia and macropsia (Alice in Wonderland syndrome), floaters and possibly photofobia, anxiety, DP/DR. These people are prone to depression and anxiety attacks, highly sensitive minds, strong emotions, fear of never being normal again, worrying it's permanent and blame themselves a lot for what happened. From the research i did i can conclude that this is most of the time not permanent, unless if they keep using psychedelics. The brain has a significant skill of healing/recovering/adjusting itself. Section 2: Symptoms: Morphing objects, breathing walls, crooked lines, flashes, very vivid vision, seeing organisms/demons that aren't there, CEVs, lucid dreaming, very big fear of going insane, everything moves, hard to see depth, weird large spots in vision, feeling of plastic cap in skull, sometimes think it's a cool thing to have these disturbances, feeling of frame rate problems in vision. Could also accompany a lot of the disturbances from Section 1. These people are not always anxious, but that depends on the kind of person. They have very realistic dreams and symptoms seem more like a hallucination. Most of the time not because of a bad trip, but because of large doses of psychedelics. The durance of these symptoms vary, some people notice them diminishing after a few months, some people already suffer from them for ages. I don't believe HPPD can truly be permanent, although there are people who already suffer from it for more than 30 years (I read about a man on this forum that already suffers from this for 43 years). Keep in mind that these trips/drugs alternated your brain in a chemical reaction. That means that another chemical reaction could reverse this. We just need the research and experiments to find a permanent cure. It's a chemical inbalance that just needs to be balanced again. And I consider me having a very similar thing to HPPD (possibly very very very mild HPPD) but i can imagine 100% what you guys are going through. I'm very fascinated by this condition (not really in a very positive way). But i'm motivated to fully recover and find something that may improve life for a lot of people here. I do also believe that a lot of people already have recovered, but don't want to be associated with this disorder anymore, that's why they don't post, they just don't care any more and try to forget what could easily be one of the worst moments in their lifes. Look how many people visit these forums, these aren't all of the sufferers. And the people who suffer the most post, the ones who don't suffer/overcame their suffering/recovered don't post anymore (except for a very small amount of them) because they just don't think about it anymore. For example: you don't find a lot of success stories about Anxiety Disorders/PTSD on the internet, while a lot of people have recovered from this! You should take this in consideration when researching HPPD and reading the horror stories. If you read on official medical websites about HPPD they say these visual disturbances in most cases last from months to years, and in worst case scenario for some people may be permanent. 50% recover in months, 1 in 50.000 psychedelics users get this disorder (don't know if this is measured in years, i think it is). Do the math yourself. How much people are on these forums? These medical websites do need research to back up their arguments, so it's hard to believe that they just post stuff that isn't true. I am in no way a proffesional in this kind of stuff, but when I'm interested in something i'm immediately like really really interested in it. Keep your hopes up! Just keep in mind that recovery is possible. It's just the sacrifices and effort your willing to take, and looooooottttsssss of patience. I know what you're thinking, don't be such a cry-baby because I've only had these symptoms for 1,5 month now and you're already recovering (still don't know if it's HPPD). But it feels like years right now. I wish you all the best, I think I'm going to research this disorder when I'm older. You should see this as a very harsh warning, just stay away from alcohol and drugs, please! That's a big part of recovering. adios!
  12. Hey guys, I'm 16 years old and for the past 1,5 month i've been doing a lot of research on the internet about HPPD. I was 99% convinced I had HPPD, but at this moment I'm not quite sure anymore. It all started on the 24th of december in 2016. I was hanging around with a few friends and one of them brought really strong Hash. It was my second time smoking btw. The first few hits were just amazing, i felt so relaxed and it was one of the best feelings i have ever had. But then things started to turn around quickly, i started tripping after taking to much hits. A so called bad trip to be exact. It lasted for about 45-55 mins, but i didn't have that weird effects that evening, that's what i thought at least. I went to bed and i got my first panic attack. The anxiety was unbearable the 3 weeks after. Things started to go better and my anxiety was almost gone. I already made an appointment for EMDR. But then on the 29th of January i woke up with visual snow. My only symptom at that time. At first i thought i had a shortage of a hormone of some sort, but that wasn't the case. Then i found out about HPPD, and immediately thought: 'oh my god, this is exactly what i have.' While the only symptom really was visual snow. Then a week after i started noticing trails because i read about it (not a very smart thing to do). My visual snow went away completely, and so did my trails for the most part (only slightly see them in the dark, could just be normal). I felt 100% cured. The only symptom i have right now is palinopsia/afterimages. It's the one symptom i hate the most. I never had DP/DR, except for 2 days after the trip, can't really call it DP/DR after such a short time. Only had anxiety for those three weeks. I am anxious sometimes because i'm a little bit afraid the palinopsia doesn't go away. The images are positive and remain in my vision for 0,5 seconds or maybe less. Does this sound like HPPD to you guys? Will my palinopsia go away? I feel my symptoms were also very mild, but they did annoy me. I am never going to use drugs again, i'm 1000% sure. Is it also true that people who recover from HPPD most of the time don't post anymore because they just want to forget about it or already did? I hope this will all fade away completely, and it won't get worse. I don't use any meds, no drugs, no caffeine and no alcohol. Thanks!