Yayoe10

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Everything posted by Yayoe10

  1. Yea I can't handle the brightness as much. Tbh idk I'm in the same situation as you lol 9 months in. I do feel way better than at first. Except I still have my days like right now everything feels so surreal and TOO 3D and vivid lol but I'm just dealing with it.
  2. I can relate in that "surreal" feeling , and that something just feels "off" about everything around me. Not sure if it's DR/DP either or something else . I feel like it's a low version of DR
  3. Yea no I'm not diminishing anything , I just wanted to know if there was levels to this. Because I consider myself mild HPPD if anything , I see how much others have more intense symptoms . My worst symptom if anything is DP/DR, which has calmed down ALOT if anything 50% of how bad it use to be. To the point when it's super calm idk if I'm actually normal or just low DR, I just don't even remember what it's like to feel normal tbh
  4. So I've been curious since I've been trying to be more informed on my condition but what exactly is low HPPD, mild HPPD and full blown HPPD, since I keep seeing these terms everywhere I wanted to know the difference between each.
  5. Oh okay makes sense. I thought full blown was maybe different symptoms. Cause I suffer from DP/DR and head pressure and brain fog but I feel from reading others have worse level of HPPD. I thought maybe severe was like actually hallucinating and seeing things
  6. So I had a wierd experience (wouldn't call it bad trip because I don't believe I tripped) back in June. I was drinking all weekend , when on the last day of my vegas trip I decide to do MDMA, friend gave me an untested pill and I was told was a good one, didn't feel like MDMA at all, another friend was given the same pill , looked up pill reports and seen these pills could've been PMA, or Meth, not sure, either way will never know I messed up by trusting my friend. Didn't feel that pill at all though , so I took a third of a good pill and felt the roll, it lasted bout an hour then I was back to normal, but after started feeling cold, and 30 min later started having trouble breathing , tunnel vision , loss of balance, and racing heart. Don't know if I was having a heat stroke or now that I think about it maybe a panic attack. the week and a half after that experience was HELL, hourly panic attacks , paranoia, everything , I was feeling tired, and my body felt heavy. After a week and a half I woke up one day and was feeling AMAZING, woke up early made myself breakfast and was bumping music and feeling great texted all my friends I was feeling alive again. Yet 2 days after that the panic started creeping up again slowly. Then caught chronic sinusitis, and kinda made things worse. And for 2 months fealty with daily head aches and even developed thunderclap/cluster headaches. My stress levels were high. I stopped working and going to school. When that finished I developed DR/DP. Started noticing double vision, then the starbursts , then the off balance, visual snow, halos, and then tracers. The panic attacks have calmed down but I still deal with depressive episodes and daily anxious feelings especially towards the afternoon and night . It's tiring , I deal with extreme exhaustion everyday, some days many bones ache, it's really stressful. Overall my symptoms have improved you can say, still there but improved , but is this really HPPD, or just anxiety? I'm seeing a therapist and mentioned HPPD but she didn't have a clue and diagnosed me with anxiety. Prior to that drug use I had only used MDMA 3 other times maybe with 2 months in between each time. And cocaine about a year ago for 2 weeks small amounts . Never liked smoking was always a drinker . Some days I feel like all this is bearable , but some days like today I feel so scared , I get this "crap I really fucked up im really dealing with this" thought and everything feels so surreal , or i just can't accept it some days. It's scary, sometimes it just feels like I'm still having a MDMA "come down" idk but I get so scared . I wish it would leave . Does anyone have any suggestions ? I know I wrote a lot and was all over the place but I just want to reach out to people who understand me. This extreme exhaustion is horrible too.
  7. Hello everyone . Just wanted to know if anyone can relate, ive been dealing with a mild hppd case for a couple of months now (I'm guessing it's HPPD since I can relate to everyone's visual symptoms) , but one symptom I still have and I haven't seen anyone post about it is jaw tremors ? I have daily all day long jaw tremors. If I put my teeth together they chatter no matter what unless I clench my jaw. It's a non stop chatter. Sometimes I don't notice it I try to ignore it but it's always there. And does get worse when I get anxious . Can anyone relate ?
  8. Sucks we all have to suffer from this. Do you experience a lot of DR/DP?
  9. Thanks for your reply . So it is HPPD symptoms ? That's what confuses cause I would tell some symptoms to my therapist and she'll say it's just anxiety that I'm too hyper aware of everything. But all the visuals are so annoying and stressful especially after images . How's your HPPD ? im about to hit a year in 3 months.