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Everything posted by MadDoc

  1. Yup, when I go to the doctor. It's not so much social anxiety but instead more of a reality anxiety. I realize that sounds strange but I don't know how else to describe it.
  2. Oh Lordy no! I hallucinate every day, most of the day. Dosing is the last thing on my list, after death. Once fried, why refry? We're brains, not beans.
  3. Agreed. Stay sober or at least give it a rest for awhile. For me, I wasn't really happy until I stopped getting high (that includes alcohol). I don't know if you have hppd but your symptoms sound reminiscent. The fact that "weed never felt the same again" is what happened to me. I didn't quit weed, it quit me. You haven't tripped an excessive amount of times. If you stay sober your symptoms are likely to moderate over time. Hang in there!
  4. How long ago did you dose? Psychedelics can have residual effects that last a few days. For some, longer. Give yourself some time and see if the symptoms moderate. As for weed becoming uncomfortable ... that was one of the first signs I had that something was very wrong. I'd take a sober break to see how you're feeling. It might not be hppd at all. Perhaps just a little lingering *space*.
  5. When I quit smoking, I nearly lost my mind. I remember light being very intense and at one point I thought I was lifting off the ground. That alone can make things weird. Combine that with a bad infection, a fever, pain pills, and personal stress, then it's not surprising that reality took a hike. I must be old. I had to look up what ghosting meant.
  6. I'm not qualified to make a diagnosis but if you're having long term perceptual anomolies after using psychedelics, that's a warning sign. We all react to extreme experiences in different ways. If you had a really bad trip I can see how that might cause PTSD like symptoms. I can't say from experience because I never really had a bad trip. You're doing the single best thing you can do for yourself, staying sober.
  7. I've had a few. Never much fun but it's fairly painless. Once I waited too long to get a root canal and I ended up with an infection in my jaw. Now that HURT!
  8. CBD

    I take some cbd concentrate an hour before going to sleep. I sleep soundly and don't feel groggy in the morning. I used to have a real issue with insomnia. The pills the doctor gave me made me feel like a zombie in the morning. A friend recommended CBD and now insomnia is no longer a problem. I don't take it during the day because it makes me feel unfocused. It didn't help with my visuals at all but it didn't make them worse. For some, it helps with anxiety. I guess everyone is different.
  9. I don't think it'll be a problem. That's not a big dose. I had a root canal a few years back and they gave me vicodin. I hardly noticed that the pill had any effect on my tooth never mind my head. Go to a dentist!
  10. Mythos, excellent to hear. Keep it clean and the brain can rewire and the body can be strong. I realize that, for some, pharmaceuticals can be very helpful. For some, not so much. I found that being totally clean worked for me. Good to have you here. Life is great stuff. I dose on it every day.
  11. How long? Hard to put my finger on that. I was so busy during my 20s and 30s raising a family and working that it my mental state was always on the back burner. I'd guess around the time I turned 40 I started to feel like my skin fit me. Sounds like a long time but it goes by in the wink of an eye. I drank during my 20s. Not to the point of dysfunction but probably too much. It wasn't until I gave that up that I could see real progress. Not a clear answer I realize but sometimes memories can be a bit turbid.
  12. Mine went away but it took a long time. I wouldn't say it's 100 percent gone but I think everyone has a touch of DPDR so meh. Tough being human.
  13. Time. It takes time. Focus helps too. Focus on what you love to do or at least what pays the rent. I realize you know all that. Just good to hear you're doing better.
  14. For me, I think it was cumulative. I noticed something after my first dose but if I had stopped there I think it would have cleared up. Even in the first few years it didn't seem bad. But when I stopped after 6 years, I realized I had a real problem. Also, with the analog chemicals not much is known. Be careful out there. There are times I imagine what it would be like to dose again. The required materials are certainly available. I've just found that I'm really happy being sober. I'm not f*cking with the flow.
  15. Wonderful to hear that you're doing better. One's outlook is so very important.
  16. It sounds like your symptoms are improving quite quickly. Yes, a year is quickly! That's excellent! You suggested that people stay away from MDMA. You might want to take your own advice (if I understood your last post correctly). I've never taken it but some in this forum have said that it caused some extreme symptoms. Just a suggestion, it's your space.
  17. Refraining from psychedelics, absolutely! I think staying sober provides a better chance of a having a happy mind and body. That goes for a healthy diet and exercise as well especially as you get older. I've never taken prescription medication for this disorder because I just don't trust the quacks who prescribe them because health care in the U.S. is all about profits. That being said I realize that when properly prescribed and monitored they can be very helpful for some people. While following a drug free regiment hasn't made my visuals go away, it has helped in healing most of the more bothersome symptoms. That and time, lots of time.
  18. Mythos, I'm glad things are better for you. I've been away in the mountains searching for nothing. I think I found it. Hang in there. You have a lot of good days ahead of you.
  19. For the last 3 months or so I've had something strange going on. Um, stranger than usual. I'm getting on in years so sometimes I take an afternoon nap. When I wake up my visuals are intense. I mean really intense! It only lasts for about 30 - 45 minutes before my visuals drop down to "normal" (still present but not too bad). I don't feel any different. This afternoon, at work, I took a 15 minute dip into Nod and when I woke up I was seeing all of these bright red lines forming all over my hands. I looked out my window and .... well, it was intense. This doesn't happen when I wake up in the morning. Anyone else have a similar experience?
  20. This is why I don't touch prescriptions. In the US most doctors hardly look at you and then hand you a vile of pills. Not only that, they won't talk about side effects. US health care is the bottom of the barrel. I hope you're feeling better Mythos. I mean that. You've had some good advice and people who come here need that. Hang in.
  21. Mythos. I don't know you and I'm not in your head but you're clearly a bright person and I'm hoping ... really hoping that you'll seek out the loving people in your life for support and help. Given time, it does get better. My 20s were a very rough time but each decade got better and better.
  22. First, stop taking drugs. This disorder can be cumulative. Hppd can take a long time to get better but the healing can't begin until you stop using. If you were a straight 'A' honor student you're still a bright person. You've just fallen into the fog. While I only used DXM a small number of times (can't remember how many) I do recall that it made this fog quite thick. For me, a sober life has been a good life.
  23. Jay, you must have a strong constitution to be able to regulate your medication. I know myself and I suspect I would rapidly fall into abuse. It's just in my nature unfortunately. You should be commended!
  24. It's interesting how many people start using psychedelics at 14. I was one month shy of my 14th birthday. Did you use psychedelics during those 5 years? Remember, you're not a "head case". You're a human being that has, I'm assuming, sustained an injury for lack of a better term. In my case I think of it as a "rewiring". I found that acceptance of my condition made it easier to move forward in life. I think it's a healthy mind set. However, don't let acceptance get in the way of seeking help. I never really attempted to get any medical assistance. However, there was no name for this condition other than "burnout" back in the early 80s. I suggest taking the time to read through the posts here. There's lots of good advice. It made me realize I'm not the only one in the world that pulled a joker from the deck.
  25. Hi. I'm 57 years old and I've carried a deep secret most of my life. I see visual patterns everywhere. They are most prominent in anything with a fine grain. Tar, sand, carpets, curtains, textured ceilings ... you get the idea. I see patterns, shapes, designs, animals, faces, Aztec glyphs, etc. as if intentionally created by an artist. They're not static either. The slowly move, shift, and transform. If I'm looking at a wall I "know" it's a wall. I don't believe the hallucinations are actually visible to anyone else so I guess I'm sane. How did this happen? Just before my 14th birthday I entered High School. An older friend of mine asked me if I would like to try "acid". I had smoked cannabis with him before and he assured me it was similar. Well, acid in the early 70s was quite strong and it was a long day. From that day forward I had this issue with seeing visuals I described earlier. My earliest memory of this was after smoking some cannabis I saw the outline of a flower appear on the fabric covering a speaker. I kept taking hallucinogens until I was about 20 years old and then stopped taking drugs all together. However, the visuals never went away. I can look at a sidewalk and it looks like all the little sand grains were laid out in complex designs. It's as if "random" doesn't exist in my visual experience. I've learned to deal with it in my own way. I look at it as my ability to not just see the mundane. This disorder hasn't stifled my ability to solve complex problems, get a degree, raise a family, and work in a professional career. In a funny way it's like an old friend. I think I might miss it if it "cleared up". I was stunned to find out that there was a term for what I have. For years I figured I was borderline schizophrenic because I was seeing things. Hiding this disorder has caused great anxiety in my life because I knew it wasn't "normal" and I never knew if it would get worse. I'm hoping to find other people with symptoms like mine. I'd also like to give people hope because I've lived with this for over four decades and life is great.