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MadDoc

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Posts posted by MadDoc

  1. Thank you for posting, and welcome.  Note, I'm not a doctor or a medical professional. 

    I remember having influenza that caused light sensitivity for a few weeks after I got better.  Besides the symptoms you've described, are you having any hppd like symptoms (trails, visuals, anxiety)? If not, IMHO, covid hasn't returned your hppd symptoms.  It's very possible that covid, even though you're vaccinated, is causing the insomnia which in turn is causing the fatigue.  I'd go see your doctor.  It's very possible that he/she has experience dealing with post-covid symptoms.  I've read that covid can cause all sorts of post-infection issues with some people.

    It's wonderful to hear that your hppd symptoms mostly cleared up.   That sort of recovery might give some people hope.  

    Take care.

  2. I didn't develop tinnitus until I was in my 50s and I've had hppd my whole adult life.  My doctor thinks that it's due to a lifetime of going to loud rock shows.  What I'm getting at, is some symptoms may have nothing to do with hppd.  If your tinnitus persists, I'd suggest getting your ears checked.  

    It sounds like your symptoms have reduced quite quickly.  I don't know how long it's been since you last dosed, but three weeks is a very short amount of time.  You may just be experiencing residual effect from your last experience.

    My one suggestion would be to avoid using psychoactive drugs, at least for a while.  After a number of months, see how you're doing.  Your symptoms may be a warning sign that you're susceptible to hppd.  If you think that might be the case, I'd stop using drugs all together.  Hppd can be a debilitating condition.

    Hang in there and take care.

  3. @Hppd13 I may be a little dense, but how does this apply to hppd?  The human mind can be "tricked", that I understand.  Are you saying that static objects can appear to be put into motion through this mechanism?  

    Being one of the unfortunate percent, it's clear to me my condition has nothing to do with my eyes.  CEVs in a dark room with eyes shut for example.  Seeing patterns where nobody else sees them is another.  I think it's deep in my weird brain.

    That being said, I think it's fantastic that you're thinking about and expressing these ideas.  Someone, someday will hit the answer.  Only through curiosity and persistence will that happen.

  4. Thank you for describing what you're going through.  I stopped dosing around the time I turned 20.  I had symptoms earlier, but assumed they would clear up once I cleaned up.  Well, they didn't and continued to get worse for a number of years before leveling off.  I'm an old guy who had a career I really enjoyed, raised a family, and have had a wonderful life despite living with hppd.  There's nothing special or unique about me.  Just another human going through life.   Getting through college and starting a career can be a stressful time.  I find stress makes hppd worse.  Do you see any correlation between stress and what you're experiencing?

    Live your life, go into your career, and try not to let your symptoms define you.  At first it's scary, but over time, if your symptoms persist, you'll figure out ways to manage them.  For me, the worst part was anxiety.  Initially I drank a lot to deal.  I found alcohol was making my life unmanageable and I gave it up.  With a clear head, I found ways to reduce the "too much electricity" in my brain.  The fact that you have months where you feel ok is a good sign IMHO.   I've learned to live with the visuals which is my most persistent issue.  They rarely bother me anymore, just part of who I am.

    Don't panic, there are people in this forum who are living enjoyable productive lives.  Don't assume your symptoms will continue getting worse.  They may even moderate with time.  

    I hope that helps, even if just a little.

    Take care.

     

     

  5. I have no idea if opioid withdrawal can cause hallucinations.  In the old days, they were rarely available and of little interest to me.  The fact that my friend had hallucinations after he stopped using kratom is curious though.  He used to dose decades ago, but claims that he's never had any hppd like symptoms.  I don't know if he's currently taking any other medications.  I also wonder if the prolonged kratom  withdrawal is the cause.  From what I understand, withdrawal from opiates is usually short and rather violent.  I think this is relevant because if someone doses, and then withdrawals from a kratom habit, they may think they're experiencing hppd symptoms.  Granted, it's based on the experience of one person, so it's all on shaky ground.

  6. Agree with these responses.  Psychedelics effects can linger for some time but that doesn't necessarily mean you have hppd.  LSD can be a powerful experience even at 120 mics.  You were dehydrated, just had a boost of caffeine, worked out, and (I'm guessing) tired after classes and a workout.  That would make anyone experience something unusual.  A friend of mine got hit by dehydration while we were hiking in the summer and after he came around reported seeing  hallucinations.  He said he got a head rush, saw black spots, and curley snake-like visuals.  I'm no doctor but water and a salt tablet brought him back quickly so I'm assuming it was dehydration.  He had never used drugs outside of caffeine and alcohol in his entire life.

    The fact that these symptoms are subsiding is a good sign.  Stay away from drugs, including cannabis, and see how you do.  Remember, 8 glasses of water a day (I'm joking, I'm sure you know more about hydration than I do).

    Take care and stay safe.

  7. @apfelsaft45

    I tried Kratom once.  A friend of mine suggested I try it for anxiety approaching 15 years ago (not 100% sure of the timeline).  it made me jittery and sick to my stomach so I never tried it again.  This same friend has been using it daily since that time, though I have no idea how much he consumes, but I suspect it's not an insignificant amount.  He tried to quit and he describes it as "quitting nicotine times ten".  He also reported having minor hallucinations (carpet crawling he called it).  He said it took a full month to start to feel "normal" again.  I don't know if his situation is typical, but I thought it was worth mentioning. 

  8. Responding to original post.  I took some ridiculous doses.  with one exception where I was dosed without my knowledge (not a high dose), I never had a traumatic experience.  Bizarre, unearthly, beyond description, yes.  But at the time, these experiences, weren't scary or what would be considered a "bummer".  I think I was either predisposed, or perhaps the repeated hammering of my brain cemented this condition.  That, and I started using psychedelics at a young age.  Granted, I'm no expert and I've never been professional evaluated

    For what it's worth.

  9. I agree, staying in college is the best thing you can do.  Keep working at staying focused and try not to let the symptoms you're having prevail.  When hppd was probably at its worst, I got married, went back to college, started a family, and worked in the evenings.  Trust me, I'm not all that brilliant and had to work hard at school.   However the constant focus helped me keep it together.

    We're tougher than we think.  You're going to do great.  Don't give up!

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  10. I found that if I consumed too much sugar or caffeine, my symptoms would be more apparent.  I've stuck to eating only when hunger knocks, and only enough to keep it bay.  Food is the fuel that keeps us running.  put the wrong fuel in the engine and the result can be undesirable.   it may just be that food provides energy which can make our symptoms apparent.  I'm not sure.  Us humans are complicated.

    To answer your question, yes I've experienced symptoms after eating as well.

    Take care.

     

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  11. Hi, and welcome.  I personally have never heard of visual acuity improving after using psilocybin but perception and interpretation can definitely change.  Note, I'm not a researcher or an expert.  I'm just an old guy who has lived with HPPD for a long time.

    To address your concern, I wouldn't be too worried about the symptoms you're experiencing now because you dosed so recently.  But then again it's been four weeks, so I wouldn't push it.  You may have some initial "pre-hppd" symptoms (and I emphasize "may").  Personally, I'd say take the positive things you've learned from psychedelics and apply them to your life.  I'd strongly discourage continuing to consume psychedelics, or at least wait quite a while before using them again.  See if what you're experiencing subsides over time or if they get more noticeable.

    Trust me, you don't want to contract HPPD because it can be a debilitating condition.  Understand, I'm not saying you have hppd or are prone to it.  I'm not qualified to make that sort of call.

    I apologize if this post came off as being pushy and I'm certainly not in the position to tell you, or anybody else, what to do.  I guess what I'm getting at is proceed with caution.  Enjoy the things psychedelics have taught you, but don't assume more is better, or will teach you more than you have already learned.

    I hope that made sense.  I ramble on sometimes.

    Take care.

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  12. I don't experience after images, but brain fog is an issue.  For me there were two things that helped.  First, take care of the physical through exercise, clean food, and plenty of sleep.  Second, training the mind to focus.  I found that a daily meditation practice helped a lot.  Meditation is IMHO simply an exercise that trains the mind to focus (no guru, crystals, or fancy pillows required).  I also found that staying focused on work, school, reading, music, or whatever is important in life helps.  Being physically well provides the energy needed to work at being focused.  Do I still have brain fog?  Sure, but with practice I've found it easy to break through.  I think everyone has brain fog from time to time  especially when we're tired, sick, depressed, or stressed out.

    I hope that was helpful (and not too strange).

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  13. I found that abandoning mild altering drugs was best.  I realize that doesn't answer your question, but for me, it was the only way to pull myself together.  That being said, folks in this forum report varying levels of success with medications that,  I'm assuming, were prescribed. 

  14. My symptoms ebb and flow.  In general, stress is what makes it worse.  I had  major changes in my life recently (moving, retirement, and surgery) and I had a new symptom show up.  When I'm waking up from a deep sleep, in that short time between sleep and waking, I'd see just insane moving fractal like designs behind my eye lids.  Once awake, it goes away.  In general my ongoing symptoms were increased as well.  Now that I'm coming to grips with my new life, and the stress has reduced, I'm getting back to "normal".  So yeah, in my case, I think it's due to stress.  I can imagine Covid stresses the body and mind.  Hopefully you'll be doing better soon.  The fact that your symptoms have disappeared in the past, in my amateur opinion, is a really good sign.

    Take care.

  15. I went through a phase where I tried every non-prescription herb, legal compound, therapeutic mushroom, and tincture to try to deal with hppd.  None of them worked.  in fact, due to my hypersensitivity to drugs in general, they made me feel worse.  For me, tapping into the deep silence of the mind through meditation did help, a lot!  The mind is powerful, even the old version between my ears.  I think sobriety helped as well.  The last drug I gave up was alcohol.  Drinking really messed with my sleep which in turn amplified my anxiety.

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  16. @Jaz I apologize for interrupting this thread with a question.  I read your post and spent some time thinking about it.  You haven't "fucked up your head".  Based on your post, you seem quite intact and bright.  I think you're doing a lot of good things.  staying sober, seeking medical help, and reaching out to this forum show that you're making a concerted effort to figure out what you're going through.  it sounds like your symptoms come and go.  When you experience them, remember they can't hurt you.  Tell yourself they will pass and try to regain focus by concentrating on something to break through.  Just a suggestion, I'm not in your mind and can only rely on what's helped me.  The fact that you stopped using drugs early is excellent and I suspect your symptoms will reduce over time.  I have full blown type 2 (now that I know what that is) and my symptoms have gotten better over time.  Be patient, it can take a while.  Keep focused on school, work, and the things that make you happy.  Staying focused got me through life so far.  I find it terrible that the medical community treated you in such a disrespectful manner.  I live in the US, and health care is all about money, it's heartless.

    Keep posting, you're not alone. 

    Take care of yourself. 

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  17. Welcome, and thank you for posting.  Opening up and writing down what you're going through can be a difficult thing to do.

    Note, I'm not an hppd expert, nor am I a medical professional of any kind.  I'm just some old guy who has lived with hppd for a long time.

    I contracted hppd in the 70s.  At the time, there was a serious stigma associated with taking psychedelics.  I suspect plenty of people had hppd, but you just didn't talk about it.  Around 1981, I tried to discuss my situation with a doctor and he basically said "I got what I deserved".  Back then, people who suffered from the effects of psychedelics were simply labeled "burn outs".  So basically, you hid your symptoms the best you could.

    The best advice I have is to stop using psychoactive drugs.  I wish I had done that when I was 16.  Try to get on with your life by focusing on school and the things you enjoy.  I've found the less I focus on my symptoms, the less intrusive they seem.  I'm not saying this is easy, but over time it may help.

    I suspect that depression is pretty common in anyone who is suddenly faced with a disability.  I view hppd as exactly that.  Getting help with your anxiety and depression might be something to consider.  I wish I had when I was younger.

    I've had hppd for a long time, but that doesn't mean my life has been limited.  Don't give up and never lose hope. 

    Remember, you're not alone.  I felt like I was before I found this forum.  There are a lot of intelligent people here.

    Take care of yourself. 

  18. Third eye?  I guess I would interpret that as insight.  Insight for me is realizing that I'm so fortunate to be here.  When I think about it, the improbability that I'm here at all gives me pause.  There isn't a morning when I'm not grateful for another day.  I see HPPD as a disability that perhaps forced me to take a hard look at existence.  I've probably missed your point entirely, but these are the thoughts that travel through my weird mind while contemplating what "third eye" means.

  19. While I've never had visual snow, I did notice that my whole perspective changed for the better after I gave up alcohol.  I slept better and was able to start exercising once I wasn't spending the morning nursing a hangover.  I'm not saying it fixed my hppd symptoms, but it helped in getting my life on track.  I also noticed that after a few months sober my anxiety was much easier to manage and that did help.  Understand that I'm not trying to give a sobriety lecture.  Most people can have a few and then stop.  I wasn't one of those people.

    Give yourself some time.  it can take a while for symptoms to improve.  I know it's hard, really hard to live with this condition.  I think giving up alcohol is a positive step to wellness.  Hang in there and take care.

  20. @mccabers.babersi think you've touched on a lot of important points.  I view hppd as a disability and it should be treated as such.  Just like someone who loses their eyesight, loses a limb, etc.  I realized I had to get on with life and work hard focusing on what really mattered to feel fulfilled and happy.  It is not a moral failing and we are not bad people for contacting hppd.  When I first realized I had a problem, I mentioned it to a doctor and he basically told me I got what I deserved (roughly around 1981).  It sounds like therapists and doctors are not so clueless now.  Be patient, symptoms can reduce or dissappear over time, but it might take a while.

    If you feel like posting more thoughts or experiences, please do.  Writing for me is quite cumbersome.  You seem to have a real knack for it.  You never know, something in your posts might help someone else.

     

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  21. For me, not so much when I'm waking up, instead it seems random.  I may have a few weeks where the visuals are quite distracting.  Other times not so much.  I guess over the course of a day early afternoon is the when the visuals are most prominent.  We all have different sleep cycles, energy peaks and valleys, times we eat, and times we're active.  We're all different.  I  wouldn't be concerned that your visuals are more intense in the morning.  Just my opinion.  I'm not a medical professional or an expert on hppd.  I'm just some old guy who has lived with it for a long time.

    Take care.

  22. @James91 Welcome to the forum and thank you for writing down what you're going through.  Some advice from an old guy, try not to be too hard on yourself.  Nobody plans on getting hppd symptoms and the "experts" out there often downplay the probability of getting hppd (if they mention it at all). 

    Give yourself some time.  Psychedelics can really shake you up and it can take time to reset, so be patient.  Try not to dwell on thoughts like "I'll have this forever".  I realize this isn't as easy as it sounds.  

    What helped me was getting focused on the things that mattered the most to me.  My children, wife, career, and the things that helped with relaxation like exercise and meditation (it really worked for me).  Try to stay positive and be kind to yourself.

    I've never taken prescription medications for hppd, so I can't say anything about that.

    Dig through this site.  There are a lot of bright people who have posted some valuable information. 

    Hang in there and keep posting.  Sometimes it helps to just "let it out".  You also never know when something you've posted might help someone else.

    You're not alone.  Hang in there.

     

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  23. @clean  I realize your question wasn't directed at me, but this was my timeline for improvement, by age.  I started getting symptoms at 14, but realized something was really wrong when I stopped dosing at 20.  My memory isn't exact (far from it), but this is roughly accurate.

    Anxiety - much better at about 30.  It didn't get better until I stopped drinking alcohol and put the effort into mindful meditation.  I still have some anxiety, but most humans do.

    CEV - These vanished suddenly in my early 50s.  I have no idea why.  Mine were quite bad.  Just insane "Peter Maxx Poster" CEVs that would constantly change and we're tangled up in thoughts if I paid attention to them.

    Visuals - Still have them but significantly improved since turning 60.  This also happened quite suddenly.

    Never had visual snow. 

    I realize I've probably posted this before, but it seemed relevant to your question.  it took me a long time to heal, probably because I took psychedelics too far at a young age ... or perhaps my brain is wired a little different.

    I hope this has some value to someone.

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