MadDoc

I'm all for studies, that's fine. However, understand that this forum is for those of us who are suffering from the repercussions of using psychedelics. Long term well-being isn't exactly what many of us are experiencing. For what it's worth.

I think taking drugs like LSD changes everyone to some extent. It's a powerful experience where you can look into your own mind, not something that happens every day. I'm an awkward human too, but I was born that way. Don't beat yourself up for being a little out of step. Some of the most successful people I know come from the awkward ranks. My suggestion is the same in most of my posts, lay off drugs, at least for a while. You're young and it's likely you'll bounce back. If you continue getting high, who knows. Just my opinion, you understand. Also (more advice from an old guy), don't dwell too much on "the rest of your life". Focus on making progress now. Never give up on yourself, just because you're altered from drugs doesn't mean your not a worthy person. Take care of yourself, stay clean, keep focused, and chances are good that you'll be doing ok after a while. Also, be patient. Hang in there and take care.

I don't have visual snow, never have. I have visuals to beat the band, but no snow. Categories, taxonomies, labels, etc. never quite fit in the real world. I think hppd a spectrum disorder as varied as the people who have it.

I've tried an array of supplements and vitamins. None of them did much of anything for my visuals. We're all different though. Just because they didn't help me doesn't mean they don't work at all. My visuals are deeply burned in unfortunately.

@HalluciSofos I had the exact same reaction to cannabis. I used to smoke it all day, every day, then very suddenly, panic attacks. From what I've heard it's not that uncommon. Lay off the weed, at least for a while, and see how you do. I take CBD to help me sleep from time to time. It's the only sleep aid that doesn't make me feel like a zombie in the morning. Keep calm, you're here and your cognition is clearly intact. I don't know if your symptoms will get worse. Hppd can be variable where it's bad for a while, it seems better, and then it slips again. Don't assume any increase in symptoms is permanent. As others have said, stay away from psychoactive drugs. I can't stress that enough. I don't take any medications but others in this forum have had success with them. Read through the forums, lots of bright people post here. Don't give up on yourself, keep focused, and do the best you can. Hang in there!

Isn't that peyote? Way back when, it was sometimes available in the summer months. Mescaline (derived from cacti) is a powerful psychedelic. I remember it used to make people vomit, though I never experienced this unfortunate side effect. Also, plant extractions can produce unpredictable doses. You might get some plant material that is weak, and then get some that is very strong. Without sophisticated lab equipment you just don't know until you try it. In my opinion, the first step to treating hppd is to avoid psychedelics. Also, peyote is an endangered plant species that grows very slowly. The thought of any species going extinct is sad.

I drank for a number of years after I quit dosing. I wasn't out of control, but I was definitely drinking too much. I went in for a physical, and had a blood test. A few days later my doctor asked me to come in. She wanted to how much I was drinking. I was honest with her, after that conversation I quit for good. To be honest I was self medicating to deal with the anxiety caused by this disorder. Some people can manage their alcohol intake. Others, like me, can't. I had to find another way to manage my anxiety. With a young family, and a new career, I had too much to live for. I don't think having a few drinks is a terrible thing for those of us with hppd. Just my opinion. For me though, I think it would have made me a sick and unhappy soul.

Thank you for posting. The fact that your symptoms are improving is great news! Keep posting to let people know what's working for you. It might help someone else in the future.

For me, it's just the opposite. In the morning I don't notice my symptoms as much. As the day wears on and stress accumulates, the visuals get more intrusive.

@Jay1 I couldn't agree more. Drugs like LSD and MDMA seem to help some people. However, it needs to approached carefully, be monitored, and combined with more traditional therapies. Regulation and accountability of the care provider should be carefully monitored.

90 percent is huge! That's wonderful! If you've recovered that much in two years, I think you'll see continued improvement. Whatever you're doing to deal with this disorder, keep at it! In the future someone will come to this forum, read your post, and it'll give them hope.

When my daughter was about 5 or 6 she said to me "Dad, I like to make pictures in the trees". She's now making a respectable living as a working artist (ok, I'm bragging a bit, I'm SO proud of her). In any case I too wonder if this predisposed me to the visual aspects of hppd, my most significant symptom. Again, thank you for your responses. Communicating with someone who has had visuals for so long, and thrived, really helps.

My paternal grandfather had some issues. As the stories go, he used to "see" ghosts and had occasional fits of rage. That's all I know about it. My father, mother, and siblings have have no significant mental health issues. Same with the extended family.

Interesting questions I've thought about it a lot over the years. I stay in contact with some of the people I used to dose with. They dosed as much as me and we took the same variety of psychedelics. I'm the only one who ended up with hppd. They all report being a little more strange than most, but no overt symptoms. When I was really young, I could see cartoons playing out in the branches of the trees at night if I stared long enough. I would see shapes in the space between branches during the day. It's like I born with some sort of enhanced pattern recognition or visual imagination. This was long before I discovered drugs. The visuals I have now aren't really the same, but I wonder if I was predisposed or if my brain was wired differently. I sometimes wonder if I had only taken "clean" LSD, would I have been afflicted. When I was young the acid we got wasn't very pure. I suspect it was mixed with something like speed or STP (DOM) because it was speedy and would last for 18+ hours (DOM wasn't uncommon back then). Clean acid isn't like that. I wonder if that adulterated "acid" had something to do with it. I also think dosing so young (and so often) was a factor. Started just before my 14th birthday and continued until I turned 20. My childhood was stable. No abuse or anything like that. My folks are good people. A lot to ponder, but no firm answers.

Back in the early 80s I spoke to a doctor about it. The doctor basically said I deserved what I got for taking illegal drugs. That really shocked me. I haven't brought it up with a doctor since. Quite a few years ago I told another doctor I had a "stress disorder" but never mentioned how it came about. She sent me to meditation courses and it helped immensely. I have a young primary care physician now, I'm thinking about bringing it up with her. I figure, why not? I'm almost 60, I've learned to live with it. I've been called a workaholic because I'm always working on something. It keeps the hallucinations at bay. Yeah, it's been a long haul, but life is good and I'm happy. Thank you for your reply.

Challenging yourself by taking demanding courses is an excellent strategy. It's what I did once I stopped dosing. When I'm focused, I don't notice my symptoms as much. Keep pushing toward your goals!

I felt the same way when I found this forum. I was finally not alone with this disorder. If it's only been three to four weeks, give yourself some time. You went through a very intense experience and it can take a while to settle back down. I especially remember DMT being like that. I remember it used to make me like I'd stepped up to some abyss, like stepping up to the edge of the Grand Canyon. That always made me feel uneasy and just strange for a while. I've taken the "no medication" approach to dealing with this disorder so I'm not much help there. I understand, medications have helped many people in this forum so I'm not knocking them. It's just not the path I chose. I'm glad you found this forum. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. Your experiences may help others in the future. Also, dig into the conversations. A lot of very bright people post here. Their advice and experiences have helped me a great deal. Take care and hang in there.

Welcome. Your post was well written and communicates a lot. No need to apologize for a long post. It sounds like a lot is going on in your life. It's very likely your body and mind is adjusting to not having any THC. The weed these days is POWERFUL and it's no surprise that you're feeling off. I'm curious, did you dose a lot? I'm asking because the more you dose, the higher the likelihood of having some level of hppd symptoms (note, I'm not a doctor, just an old guy who has had hppd for a long time). It's difficult to say if you have hppd. If you're concerned you're doing the single best thing you can do, staying sober. Keep clean for some number of months and see how you're doing. It's very possible you will level out. In the mean time, take care of yourself. Keep posting to let us know how you're doing. Your experiences could help others.

Keep posting if you have the notion. Your experiences can help others.

@Beefheartfan Surround yourself with those who care about you. I realize the brain can send constant negative messages to the surface. There are ways to control these thoughts and keep them from constantly replaying in your mind. For me, setting goals and working toward them helped a lot. It kept me focused and kept me from imploding. When I look back, I feel proud of what I've done and that feels better than any drug ever could. I'm nobody special, just another human stumbling around. If I can feel good about my life, anyone can with a little hard work. I'm not a religious sort, but I think it's a miracle that we're the matter that woke up to experience whatever "this" is. We're here for a very short time. You're not only matter, YOU matter.

Yes! Back when I used to take psychedelics, I rarely felt any sort of anxiety. By the time I quit I realized that I was in rough shape. Anxiety was a BIG problem early on. Consuming cannabis made it much much worse. Even one hit of weed could put me into a full blown paranoid panic attack. Over time, my anxiety dissipated for the most part as long as I stay sober. I tried cannabis some time ago (ten years ago?) and it still makes my anxiety and visuals go crazy. I mean, to the point that I think I'm having a heart attack. There is someone in this forum who describes hppd as "being on a low dose of acid after the learning and euphoria are gone" (roughly what he said). I still feel slightly dosed after all the years I've been clean. So yes, it's common for those of us with this disorder.

I had to relearn to focus. When I stopped dosing it felt like all I could manage was to let my mind drift. I forced myself to go through regimented mental exercises that slowly helped me get my brain working. Every day, day after day. It helped a lot.

For me, it was to just try harder. Ages ago, when I would try to read a book, shapes would form around the text. The shapes would start to move around as well. In any case it made it very difficult to read. I forced myself to sit down and read every day. After a while the hallucinations went away as long as I was focused. As soon as I lose that focus, the hallucinations come back but at least I could read. Fast forward a number of decades and reading is easy. Fighting back and not giving up is what got me through.

As for medications, I'd look into the "medications" area of this forum. You may want to post your question there. I think there are a lot of people who do make a full, or nearly full recovery. What happens though is people who do recover drift away from this forum so we don't hear about it (not my observation, another person broght that up and it makes sense). Because you've only dosed three times, and because your symptoms appear to be mild, I suspect any remnants left over from psychedelics will fade. It really does sound like anxiety is your biggest issue. You're seeking treatment for your anxiety which is an important step forward. In life, there are some things we can change, and others we can't. Never give up on yourself. Find your inner strength and use it to help you move your life in a positive direction. There are some people in this forum with severe cases of hppd who have done some amazing things.

I've tried an array of natural therapies for anxiety over the years. For me, none of the herbs, plants, etc. on their own did much. However, eating a simple diet consisting of natural foods helped me feel better overall. I stick to a vegan diet and avoid fast and packaged food. I'm not preaching, it just works for me. I also stick to a daily meditation practice which has been a huge help treating my anxiety (I mention this all too often and it's probably getting repetitive). I use CBD when I have insomnia and it works well. I don't take any pharmaceuticals. That's me, we all have to find our own path to wellness. It's like a puzzle you have to solve. Dig through the forums. Some people have had success with herbal treatments. Others have had success with prescribed medications. Lots of smart people post here.