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MadDoc last won the day on April 20

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About MadDoc

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  1. When my auras (I think that's the right term) go away, that's it. Sometimes I feel queasy but it doesn't make my visuals "worse".
  2. A few years back I started seeing "sawtooth" visuals with brilliant colors and complex shapes. I assumed this was part of my usual visuals but instead of just being on a surface I saw these patterns floating in the air. I finally looked into it more deeply and discovered it was a symptom of a migraine. I never feel any pain when this occurs. Very similar to this video except when I get them they include complex designs. More like a DMT visual. Fortunately it only lasts about 20 minutes.
  3. Walking anywhere away from civilization. I like to identify birds and plants on each journey. I guess I'm a nerd wherever I go (:
  4. I've never had visual snow, but apparently many people with hppd do. It's heartening to see someone doing research in that area. Thank you for posting.
  5. I doubt my visuals are caused by retinal neurons. I see shapes, designs, patterns, etc. They can become quite complex if I stare at something long enough. Seems to me that if I'm seeing Aztec glyphs in the carpet something is happening deeper in the brain. However, it makes sense that after images (which I don't get) might be more immediate. If I understand it correctly, you're seeing a visual representation of something you just looked at. Thank you for looking into this. Interesting!
  6. Welcome, I found this forum after having persistent visuals for all of my adult life. I hadn't realized that my condition had a name until recently and it was freeing to discover I wasn't the only person in the world who had residual symptoms from using psychedelics. I also took some very large doses when I was in my late teens but I think hppd had set in when I first started taking lsd in my early teens. Now I'm a late middle aged guy who has visual anomolies pretty much all the time. That being said, life has been wonderful even with hppd. As for coping, meditation practice has been a huge help. Also, staying focused makes my visuals far less prominent. There are a bunch of bright people who post here and a wealth of information. It took me a while to read just a fraction of the posts but it was time well spent.
  7. Thank you for posting the article. Interesting! Is ketamin the "date rape" drug? I'd never heard that. I think anyone who has taken a significant dose would agree. I remember the insight into things. It was like seeing the world for the first time. Did I experience a higher level of conciousness or did I just perceive that I did? But perception is reality to the observer, so .... hmmmmm.
  8. 20 can be a wonder age. It can also be a stressful one. Do you think some of your anxiety has something to do with the life changing decisions that get shover at you? What I'm saying is your anxiety might not be caused from MJ and a few psychedelic experiences. Something to consider. The visual snow, I gather, is more of an indicator. I never had it myself. Instead, I had visuals from the get go. People have mentioned avoiding drugs and I realize that can be difficult. But if you stop for some period of time and focus your life the symptoms may moderate. Hang in there!
  9. Cafeine, especially in the morning, makes my visuals a lot more noticeable. It also gives me a tripping feeling in the center of my body. If I consume caffeine in the afternoon it puts me to sleep. No explaining it, just is.
  10. Do you think fatigue has anything with your symptoms turning on/off? When I'm tIred my visuals tend to be more prominent. Driving can be stressful so taking a long drive without anxiety sounds like a good sign.
  11. Would you repost without the blue? Some of us have visual anomalies. Thanks.
  12. I drank quite a bit for about 10 years in my life. It didn't make my visuals worse or better but it beat the he'll out of my body. It masks the causes of anxiety and depression which were all waiting for me when I stopped. It cures nothing and it's a nasty drug if you can't control it. Some can, some can't . Stopped long ago, never looked back.
  13. Just to be clear, I'm not a doctor. When I was a kid I was called the "Mad Doctor" because I was pretty good at chemistry especially refining plant extractions. Like the way Bugs Bunny calls everyone "doc". I'm a lot more like Elmer Fudd.
  14. I don't trust doctors much. I finally found a doctor who was a healer instead of a pill pusher. She just retired unfortunately. Anxiety can have many causes so it's hard to know if it's due to drug use or some other underlying issue. My hppd, in some ways, has gotten much much better but it took a long time. The anxiety I have is greatly reduced to the point that I feel "normal" (whatevery that is). Getting focused and moving forward is what got me onto the other side of that. Give you self some credit for coming to the realization that you want to be a happier person. That's a good first step as you proceed on your travels.
  15. For me meditation has been extremely helpful. The practice allows me to intercept intrusive thoughts. When some negative thought arrives I can recognize it as being part of me, even welcome it, but i can choose not to unpack the contents of the thought. Over time the negative thoughts don't get exercised and the mental pathways on which they arrive start to atrophy. Just like learning to play a musical instrument, you need to practice.