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About MadDoc

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  1. The only supplement I take is CBD oil because it helps me get a good night's sleep. That might be counterintuitive because I can't touch THC. Some days my hppd is distracting while other days I hardly notice it at all. My more "visual" days seem to follow a poor night's sleep. I think KB's suggestion of starting with tiny amounts of any supplement is a really good idea. Everyone is different and you never can tell how it might effect you. Supplements can also take a while to start working so you may have to give it some time. I'm probably not saying you don't already know. I'm going to read up on LMM. Thanks for the info!
  2. Hi and welcome. I'm new to this forum as well. I don't know much about ssri medications so I'm not much help there. However. My hppd symptoms are very similar to what I experienced while on hallucinogenic drugs but not as extreme. I'm curious if your symptoms are similar to what you've felt while taking ssri medications. The brain governs the way we experience reality and there are a lot of chemicals that alter that experience. Do the symptoms linger after you stop taking the ssri meds? Note. I'm not suggesting you discontinue any medication without consulting with your doctor. I'm no doctor that's for sure!
  3. What does lion's main mushroom do? Does it help with anxiety? Some herbals can be very powerful and I can see how they might not always react well. Someone recommend I try kratom for anxiety. They swore it worked great. It turned me into a jittering mess.
  4. I should add that I too see things that are other things. About a month ago I was looking at the arm of a chair and there was a wasp sitting there flitting it's wings. After a couple of seconds I realized that it was only a thread that the cat had pulled out of the arm of the chair. It had twisted around into the rough shape of a wasp but I *saw* a living wasp. If you're seeing twigs that look like worms ... then that's what I'm experiencing. I've gotten used to it and even find it kind of amusing.
  5. Hi Lizord, and welcome. I'm new here too. Two of the symptoms you described are something I've experienced. When I was younger I would see little bright purple dots appear and then vanish. Second, I had real reading issues. Shapes would form between the words that were very distracting. The visual dots went away entirely and the reading issue is still an issue to some extent but I've learned to compensate. Other than having hppd for a long time I'm no expert on the subject but I'd say those symptoms are indicative of hppd. I agree with K.B., sobriety and a healthy lifestyle is good medicine. I continued to use psychedelics for years after I had my first symptoms and now I'm stuck with it.
  6. Point of no return? I don't know. I just see life moving forward. While my hppd has never "cleared up" I feel healthy and happy. Basically it's now just part of who I am and I can't remember what it's like to not have visuals. For me, it's never going away but life is wonderful and each day is a gift. If the thunder don't get ya then the lightning wil. Robert Hunter
  7. I've had insomnia for years. One thing that worked very well is CBD oil. It's a non-psychoactive cannabinoid usually extracted from hemp. I take it about an hour before bed and without fail, I fall asleep, sleep through the night, and wake up refreshed. Very gentle stuff.
  8. Hi gschppd. My primary symptom is that I see patterns on just about everything if I stare at it for more that a few seconds. Especially surfaces with a fine grain. Sand, concrete, grass, curtains, carpets, etc. I start seeing shapes that slowly morph into faces, animals, strange symbols, or just some things that are just bizarre. They're not invasive. If I look away they disappear. When I look back they start to reform but they're never the same twice. They're not three dimensional and they don't speak to me or anything. They're just "there". I don't get visual snow, after images, trails, or warping. Instead, It's like everything has this strange "motif" of its surface. I've had this since I was 14. I'm 57 now so, for me, it's never going away I suspect. That being said it's not nearly as bad as it used to be and in reality it doesn't bother me much anymore. I've had it for so long that it's just part of me. I used to have terrible anxiety but that too has significantly moderated with age. I can't say what may happen with your condition. I'm not an expert in any way shape or form and I'm no doctor. I hope your appointment with the therapist goes well. Hang in there.
  9. Jay, one thing you mentioned is how you appear to be very laid back to others. I'm the same way but there's something I struggle with constantly that's part of my hppd (I think). It's a little difficult to describe. Each of us has a persona. We act in a certain way around others and we may act one way around our friends and another way around someone else. I think Ken Kesey referred to this as "social armor". Psychedelics strip away your social armor and you can (or you think you can) *see* into other people and I used to think I could see this social armor. What happens to me now is the little nuances of each person's persona is exaggerated. People often seem like stereotypical used car salesman. Little behaviors that are normally common social behaviors seem so over the top that I have difficulty communicating sometimes. Instead I just act calm and I don't say much. I smile a lot.
  10. What I forgot to say is if people in the 60s had a very very pure substance then 2000 mics would be conceivable. 1000 of the stuff I had in the early 70s would have been unthinkable. 1000 of the "university" batch that came later was very "doable". I'm wondering if the doses I had in high school were really impure or adulterated with something nasty. A lot of them had some sort of speed "included". That was the stuff that started my hppd. The clean "material" I got later didn't seem to make hppd any worse. It was different.
  11. RE: Documentary Jay, I don't think LSD use was spread out more. It was rampant! In my high school it was everywhere and seeing someone "lose it" wasn't uncommon. The teachers were actually trained in how to deal with someone who was dosed. I also went to a high school that had an "open campus" so if things got bad you could just leave. Foolish idea to give a 14 year old kid that kind of freedom IMHO. From a totally unscientific standpoint I'm guessing that the doses in 73-74 were in the 200 mics range. At one point there was window pane where the hits were around the 500 range (at least). It wasn't until I first got to college that I was introduced to the "real" thing. It was manufactured at a local prestigious university and it was so clean that taking big doses wasn't too tough to take. I used to take does up to 1000 mics (not bragging, I wish I hadn't!!!!). I used to *love* dosing and I don't think I ever had a bad trip. However, I started to realize how badly it had rattled my head. That's when I stopped.
  12. Hello and welcome. I'm new to this site as well. I know that cocaine and stong cannabis can cause anxiety even after succession of use. However, hppd can do the same thing but there are a host of symptoms that can go along with it. I'm no doctor so I can't make any diagnosis. What I can suggest is staying sober for some time to see what happens to the symptoms. Please understand I'm not suggesting that you discontinue prescribed medication because your doctor is qualified to make that decision and I'm not. I've never brought up hppd with my doctor (well, once) because I didn't even know it had a name until very recently. However, at my next physical I'm going to bring print out describing hppd and bring it along.
  13. Jay, thank you for your kind welcome. I tried joining last autumn but couldn't register. I'm so glad I tried again and here I am. Yes, I think "unlucky title" is well put. This isn't something I'd wish on anyone and it has been a long haul. One thing I'm finding is age doesn't equate to wisdom. I just have more miles on me. I've stayed in touch with many of my friends from high school and none of them admit to having symptoms of hppd though some do get a glassy eyed stare from time to time so I wonder. The older users who were around in the early 70s used to talk about how psychedelics put them on a different "vibe" and I suspect it had something to do with residual effects. Hard to say. The term "acid burnout" was quite common but i dont remember people talking about specific symptoms. There were quite a few of people I knew who committed suicide quite young and now I wonder if they were suffering from hppd. I guess I'll never know. To be honest I haven't brought this up with my friends in decades but I plan to. If I hear anything I'll post it. The psychedelic drugs that were available back then we're lsd, dmt (occasionally), dom (stp), mushrooms, and mecaline (the real thing), and pcp (something I avoided). That being said I really wonder what we were taking sometimes. I've said that even though I have hppd life is wonderful. I'm at the age that I'm losing friends to age related illnesses and I'm realizing that each day is precious. It's given life a new perspective. It's wonderful to have found this forum. I can't say that enough. I'm not alone.
  14. MDMA wasn't around back in my day (insert Grandpa Simpsons' voice). What was available periodically was a psychedelic amphetamine called DOM which was called STP in the 60s. I can see how that class of chemical could cause problems. It certainly rattled me pretty badly. What's really scary now are all the variant "research" chemicals coming out of China. They're untested on humans are some have the potential of being fatal. I wonder if they're more likely to inflict hppd. I guess time will tell.
  15. I think it sounds fine. One thing for sure, I'm in no position to judge others. I'm just an awkward human bumbling through life (: