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Everything posted by fruitgun

  1. So I got some LMM capsules, each capsule is 620 mg and it says you should take three capsules a day. I started today, I took one in the morning and felt kind of good. Later on I felt some anxiety but it was not such big of a deal. Than in the afternoon I took a second one and later on I noticed rather strong anxiety, my visuals also seemed to be getting stronger. Also it seems like I am thinking fast, especially when I lie down with closed eyes a lot of random thoughts and pictures are racing through my head. Furthermore I feel kind of depressed and desperate right now. It's 19:30 now here and I planned to take the third capsule between 21:00 and 22:00. But I am not sure, I do not want to increase the anxiety even more for nighttime. Maybe I will just leave it at two capsules per day for starters. Is it normal for symptoms to increase when you start taking LMM? I do not want to give it up completely.
  2. Which symptoms does Klonopin help most for? I have never taken any benzo, are you still able to concentrate on tasks while on it?
  3. Your DP/ DR is gone completely? How long did you have it and which symptoms are still remaining?
  4. Have you done a specific drug before this symptom started? Or just cannabis? Has there been any significant life event prior to the symptom outbreak? A big part of your problems can be led to your anxiety and depression. It is the same for me, I don't really have friends, I am unemployed and have money issues. I will start a job or an internship soon because I can't stand being at home alone all day, it makes my mind play evil tricks. Maybe you can find something to keep you busy? Like voluntary work? I am not sure myself if I am already able to work 40 hours per week, maybe I will only do part-time work for starters. But when I am outside and busy, I often don't really feel my symptoms at all. However I am positive that you will improve over time. You already mention that there are days on which you feel fine which means that you can't be completely fucked. Like K.B.Fante said, look out for things that make you feel better or worse. This does not only apply to food but to environmental circumstances in general. And don't worry about being alone with this, you aren't. Many people are getting symptoms like this, including me. Stuff like weird feelings in the head or illogical thoughts rushing through the head even happens to regular anxiety sufferers who never did drugs. edit: Oh and one thing.... you can work an developing a more positive attitude to your symptoms. Sure it can be discomforting, frightening and you might feel intense dread and terror, I know these feelings myself. But when you try to meditate and calmly reflect about it, you might see that there is basically not much to fear and it is just your anxiety telling you that this is bothersome and dangerous. A good therapist can help you developing good techniques for approaching your fears. And if you start to fear your symptoms less, they will subside over time. I would also recommend yoga.... if you can't afford a course, it is very easy to do at home.
  5. I am not sure yet if I regret it. I am having my symptoms for five months now and hoping for recovery. If at least anxiety and DP/ DR will diminish over time, that would be enough for me. However I did what I did because I thought it was the right thing to do. I only did mushrooms twice and second time led to a bad trip which led to my symptom outbreak. Maybe I would regret it if I would not have done mushrooms, I think they can show and teach you a lot of interesting stuff. In fact I believe that a lot of my symptoms have been there before in a minor or suppressed way, I just see or feel it more clearly now. I am not doing any medication at all so far. I guess if it doesn't get better over time, there is some medication that can help. (or I just get used to it)
  6. Never took Klonopin but Jay1 posted his Klonopin routine in another thread. I hope it is still up to date and he does not mind if I post it here: Monday - off Tuesday - off Wednesday - off Thursday 6pm - 1mg Friday 9am - 1.5mg Saturday 9am - 1.5mg Sunday 9am - 1.5mg
  7. I regularly have a feeling of being stoned or on a low dose of mushrooms. I know that many sufferers have similar symptoms. Is there any medication/ treatment to reduce this?
  8. Today I got a prescription for Trimipramine. Is this worth a shot? I asked for something that I could take to kill panic/ anxiety attacks and she gave me that. But apparently she might also prescribe me Lorazepam if this doesn't work. Also how helpful are tricyclic antidepressants in general? I am only 4,5 months into HPPD, so I do not plan to take synthetic medicine regularly as long as it might heal naturally. But I am curious and maybe I would take it under moments of extreme anxiety but I will try to avoid it.
  9. Yes I was exaggerating with 100% recovery, I just meant that my progress over the recent weeks made me optimistic and I thought LMM will make me feel even better. So it is kind of a disappointment that it actually makes me feel worse. BTW in this discussion several people mentioned that LMM also increased anxiety for them so it might be a common issue: On other sites I read that it can have a stimulating efffect and one user even claimed that it has some effects similar to DMT lol but not sure if that is correct.
  10. Thanks, I currently think about how I can make my diet more healthy. I have always just stuffed every food inside of me that I felt a desire for, so changing my diet feels like one of the trickier challenges. I might use your post as a basis for my future diet.
  11. I feel really bad today, I do not think I will take LMM ever again. I actually really improved during the recent weeks, but today is awful. I actually thought LMM will be the supplement that will help me achieve 100% recovery soon but it seems to throw me back like two months in recovery. I hope my current state is only temporary and the symptoms will decrease during the next days.
  12. So today I still feel kind of anxious, but I have the impression that my DP/ DR decreased. I feel more like myself. I also seem to look less for visuals or maybe the visuals even decreased. Might be deluding myself there though. @MadDoc: LMM is supposed to help with a lot of stuff, many people say it is one of the few supplements that actually work in healing HPPD. You will find a lot of posts about this online, for quite some people it helped to decrease their anxiety, DP/ DR and even their visuals. @K.B.Fante: Yes I think as long as I am feeling this anxious, I won't take a capsule today. I might only take one capsule every second day. SInce this supplement seems to have a strong effect, it might be enough. Maybe I will take valerian with it do decrease possible anxiety/ nervousness.
  13. Okay I really feel bad, I definitely won't take a capsule today anymore. I am curious how I will feel tomorrow.
  14. Would you say that you can rule out any chance of 100% recovery after a certain time? Like when you are having HPPD for 10 or 20 years, do you think it is still possible to recover and feel healthy again?
  15. What side effects did you get from SSRIs?
  16. Anyone made any experiences with RC benzos for treating HPPD symptoms? These are the ones which seem to be available right now: Clonazolam Pyrazolam Flubromazolam Fonazepam Nitemazepam 3-HydroxyPhenazepam 4-Chloro-Diazepam I have read that Pyrazolam is very anxiolytic so it might be my choice for now. But I have actually never taken any benzo so far and RC benzos are supposed to be stronger than normal benzos. So I am cautious and yeah of course I would only take it in moments of extreme anxiety.
  17. Anyone tried castor oil for means of detoxification and did it help to alleviate your symptoms? I got a bottle of it now and might try it for a while but I read that it can lead to nutrient loss and dehydration so I am cautious.
  18. Looks like you made great progress. I am also currently recovering from a bad mushroom trip but I am only 3,5 months in. Sometimes it feels like this is going to stay forever, sometimes it feels like I already improved a lot. Thanks for your motivating post and I hope your remaining symptoms will also diminish over time.
  19. So do you think there are different chances of recovery depending on the age at which it starts? Like when you are 16, your brain is still in some strong development process AFAIK. But I am not sure if this is good or bad. On the one hand, due to the oncoming brain growth, the HPPD might grow out. On the other hand it seems plausible that it is more probable for the HPPD to manifest itself in the brain structures when you get it during this development stage. What do you think?
  20. So I just thought "fuck it" and took one pill again. I am not sure if it is better or worse. At first I thought my DP/ DR feelings get worse, but I think I also feel the antidepressing feature of it. Mostly I feel a bit like "heatened up" or electrified. but I need something more sedative I guess. This pill is probably not the best choice in my current state, but I will see. edit: I also have the impression that this raises my blood pressure. When I took it for several days, I always felt exhausted from running for a few seconds or taking a couple of stairs. edit2: So I was actually able to lie down in bed for quite a while without feeling like absolute shit. That is better than nothing I guess. But when I closed my eyes, I saw dreamlike sequences, I had weird thought patterns and I think one time a short auditory hallucination. So basically like always when I want to fall asleep.
  21. So my problems started in Novemebr and in December I started taking Valerian against my nervousness and I think it kind of helped. But I still had this "dark" feeling of loneliness and despair from my shroom trip appearing regularly. So in early January I thought I could try St John's Wort, so I got some pills with Valerian and St John's in it. And I think it actually helped. I still had some anxious thoughts but I felt kind of normal. However it had some side effects like heavy headaches, a feeling of tension on face and neck, pain in chest and stomach. But I could concentrate on movies, write my bachelor thesis etc. The medicine made me feel kind of confident so I thought "well fuck these side effects", I quit taking this. So I took my last St John's Wort on 12th January around 8 am. Then I felt kind of okay the rest of the day, but then around 8 pm I got a heavy anxiety attack, probably the heaviest in weeks. And since then I feel like absolute shit, my symptoms have worsened a lot, I can barely sleep or eat. I feel worse then before I started the St John's. So do you think these are withdrawal symptoms or did the St John's Wort have a negative long term effect on my health? I mean I only took St John's a few days and on the same day I had that panic attack I took one like 12 hours before. So withdrawal does not seem so logical. However these pills are low dosed, there is only 100 mg St John's and 50 mg Valerian in one pill. It is recommended to take four a day. So one pill in the morning is not much for one day. I consider taking these St John's/ Valerian pills again but I am not sure if would have a positive or negative impact. I feel anxiety the whole day and often strong anxiety. So I am not even sure if this herbs would be strong enough anymore. Maybe my situation just developed negatively independtly from the pills. What do you think? edit: I think it is probable that I got in a cycle because of this anxiety attack. Maybe taking only one pill for one day was really to low and then I drank too much caffeine and so I got into this anxiety attack. And now I think "oh fuck I am so sick and anxious", and this makes me more anxious.
  22. Hi, I have my problems for 2,5 months now and I think about going to the neurologist. If it is actually HPPD aka neurological damage, shouldn't it be measurable? I do not have so many hallucinations, it is mostly anxiety and feeling of being detached from the world. I sometimes think I triggered some kind of schizophrenia by drug use. I did not even do a lot of psychs, just shrooms two times and both times low doses. However the second time was quite horrible and I feel like this experience "haunts" me. I felt very isolated and horrified on shrooms and somehow I can't get rid of this feeling. Sometimes I hope that I am "just" psychologically traumatized. However if an actual neurological damage happened, is it measurable?
  23. Hello there, 2,5 months ago I took magic mushrooms. I only took them two times and both times low doses. However the second time was very awful and since then I am feeling anxious, have flashbacks, light hallucinations and well I feel "different". Doctors gave me promethazine and melperone, but I only took promethazine out of those two. The last time I took promethazine I think it just made it worse. I am not sure if I should take melperone, the things I read about it don't sound so great. I am having these problems only for 2,5 months but it is horrible and I had suicidal thoughts a couple of times. So I don't think I can manage this without meds. But doctors just say that I got adjustment disorder, I am not sure if they even know about HPPD. And waiting for an appointment with a new doctor can take months here. So I don't really know what to do, I might get hands on some diazepam but of course I would not take it regularly. Well until then I just try to take it as easy as possible.
  24. Thanks. Yes I don't consume any alcohol, caffeine or drugs anymore. I also do sports but I should do more. Smoking is a problem. I actually started smoking more since it broke out because it works as a stress reliever for me. I might switch to e cigarettes but it does not really work so well.