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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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Everything posted by lysandre

  1. lysandre


    Don't order benzo online, it's no very safe imo. Why don't you get a prescription from your GP ?
  2. lysandre

    SSRIs not worth any try?

    This poison will f**** you up, don't take it. You can treat anxiety/depression or other mental disorders with other methods, which are much more safe and efficient. (CBT therapy or other therapies, exercice, meditation/relaxation, hypnosis etc.) "Rather than fix chemical imbalances in the brain, the drugs create them.”- Robert Whitaker, Anatomy of an Epidemic Prior to treatment, patients diagnosed with schizophrenia, depression, and other psychiatric disorders do not suffer from any known "chemical imbalance". However, once a person is put on a psychiatric medication, which, in one manner or another, throws a wrench into the usual mechanics of a neuronal pathway, his or her brain begins to function, as Hyman observed, abnormally.”- Robert Whitaker, Anatomy of an Epidemic
  3. lysandre

    Starbursts, Halos, Light Sensitivity

    Yes it will moslty go away. At least, it will fade in the background. You will not notice it anymore. Give it at least 1 year. It can flares-up because of stress, fatigue, or no obvious reason. Stop taking drugs, alcohol, caffeine. Stop obsessing about it, don't focus on it, don't search mindlessly on the net about it. You have to forget it as much as you can. Eat well (not too much sugar), sleep well, and exercice. Just live your life, enjoy the things you like, and strongly believe that you will recover, because you will
  4. I quit drinking alcohol for 7-8 months, I didn't smoke weed anymore at that time, lost interest in it at the beginning of depression four months before my onset. That was for the better ! I exercice regularly, and tried to sleep enough. And tried to be positive as much as I could, focusing on my general well being, do stuff I like etc. All the things I read here, and I would like to thank you Jay, you gave me some support and advice and other people too, like Visuals and K.B Fante. I was completely lost and you guys were here. Didn't change my diet so much. I didn't take any meds or supplements (was afraid of making it worse), although I was on Lorazepam before HPPD and started tapering off four months after my onset. My general anxiety disorder was getting better (thanks to therapy, relaxation, exercice) and I didn't need it anymore at this point, not because of less visuals symptoms, which remained steady for at least 6 months, and flared up regularly.
  5. I've had mild hppd because of SSRI and used to smoke weed for 15 years before, I recovered in 10 months at 90-95 %. But I relapsed on caffeine and afterimages, trails and general vision are worse than the first time now. But I will recover again.
  6. lysandre

    Is this HPPD?

    Just a few words : I have palinopsia (I prefer this term to HPPD for me) because of Zoloft. I had severe anxiety wich leads to a depression before that, so I took Zoloft... This drug will not "treat" your anxiety/depression/whatever it is, it will only alleviate some symptoms, mostly the ones from anxiety. But SSRIs are just completely unneffective concerning symptoms of depression/sadness/empty feeling. AND it's very bad for your health because it messes up some receptors which can cause HPPD/palinopsia. This will not heal you, this will make things worse. And i'm not talking only about visual disturbances. For me it's not a reaction to your disorder. It's just you who is scared about that. Stop smoking weed. Very bad because it feeds anxiety a lot and unbalances your nervous system. You don't want that. You can overcome this with CBT, exercice, relaxation, seeing friends etc. I did it, so everybody can do. All that matters is your will power. You will find strenght deep in yourself and you will overcome it, it will be long and tough, but you will, and you will become a better version of yourself.
  7. Thank you for the information. I'm sure you will return to your baseline in a few days
  8. lysandre

    What are your passions?

    I like video games too, but screens are not good for visuals, so I play only 1 or 2 times a week. Very frustrating. I love playing piano, it's difficult for me but I've made some progress lately, watch old/sci-fi/arty movies with my gf, I like art in general. I love going to Italy whenever I can to admire Raphael's paintings, because they are perfect. I also like doing exercice and practice sophrology/meditation.
  9. lysandre

    Hello, im originally. And i got hppd at 16

    Hey Originally, for lessen anxiety you can try sophrology, looks strange and dull, but it's very effective. You have to practice everyday. Like meditation, after a while, it rebalances the nervous system, help to clear the mind and provide good anxiety relief. (mentally and physiologically) It's not easy to find english sessions on youtube. This is very popular in my country so there's lots of video in french. Anyway this sophrologist's sessions are very good, and there is one in english. Also doing exercice regulary is also effective to lessen the anxiety. (running or whatever)
  10. lysandre

    Is hppd normaly perminent

    I had severe anxiety disorder in the past wich was cured with cognitive behavioral therapy. Thoughts, emotions and behavior all impact each other, if DP is an anxiety disorder I think CBT would be a very effective therapy to get rid of it faster. I don't know where you live, but in my country it is kind of expensive. (60e per session, 1 session every 2 or 3 weeks). My therapist was topnotch, very kind and funny. Not always easy to find. I think you can talk about this solution to your parents, it's worth it. Concerning your visuals, since you are young, and clean now It will go away with time. But don't ever do drugs again ffs. And don't drink alcohol, and don't drink coffee. I know its hard to be sober at partys, but only in the beginning. We're talking about your health here, this is the most precious thing you got, invaluable. You can have fun without it, it's just a good habit. And drinking alcohol is so 2005. It will mostly go away, no doubt about this. But for the moment, be indifferent to them, ignore them and they will be less and less annoying. and focus on your psychological well-being (therapy, relaxation, socialization, hobbies, girls etc..)
  11. lysandre

    Scared for the future

    Just relapsed 2 weeks ago, I knew coffee wasn't good for this condition but I used to drink some from time to time without any effect. Then, I became careless...Recently I had a hard time at work, I wasn't sleeping enough and was drinking strong coffee, at least 3 cups each day for 10 days. Last time while playing piano I noticed that I had now some slight "trails" or whatever, I can see more motion blur, which I never had before, even on my onset in december 2015. (luckily my symptoms were not very severe) I'm not used to it and it bothers me, can't stop watching it. Vision is kind of blurry sometimes, light sensitivity had increase a lot, and halos and afterimages too, some things flicker a bit... So yes you can relapse from coffee But you have to drink hard stuff regulary I guess. I was 94,67% cured since July 2016. I was so dumb to drink this shit. I hope to recover again :] About the pot I was afraid at the beginning, now there's often weed smoke around me and it never had any effect . @Unlucky : I don't know how your symptoms are, but imo you should seriously adress anxiety, for trying to find more calm and peacefulness. Meditation/sophrology and CBT if you can. These things really helped me. Hang in there people
  12. lysandre

    Drinking and HPPD

    After my new year's hangover last year my visuals were much worse, so I quit drinking for about 6 months. But one day I was tired of being sober, and since i've been drinking beer and even rhum or whiskey sometimes, every weekend. Maybe it prevents me to completely recover. I don't know, but this kind of behaviour doesn't help for healing... (i'm talking about visuals only)
  13. lysandre

    List of what exaserbates HPPD

    Temporarily -stress/anxiety -too much sugar -not enough sleep -Omega 3/ fish oil (not sure) Semi-permanently (not sure about that) -alcohol -too much computer 1 month ago being on computer screen playing online too much + stress gave me grainy vision in the dark + "unstable vision" sometimes and visual snow wich subside a little but I still see it when eyes are closed. (and sometimes during the day when looking at some colors/textures) I can't stop being on screen computers, but for me it's 100% sure it exaserbates vision problems. (snow, ghosting, negative afterimages).
  14. This is a pretty solid dose but they are people who takes 8/10/12 mg of ativan/klono/xanax. Anxiety is a bitch, do you see a therapist or are you trying to relax yourself with relaxation techniques ? I repeat myself but really sophrology can really help if you practice everyday (even with videos on you tube, you can try to find a session that suits you). Of course it takes time but this can help...
  15. lysandre

    Valdoxan the SSRI alternative

    Glad it helped you to reduce your anxiety GuyinDubai. Seems like you are doing well ! Hi Neffbull, you know I had OCD (mild) before my HPPD-like, it comes and goes, but in my case I know it is all about anxiety. Maybe it's different for GuyinDubai.
  16. lysandre

    Valdoxan the SSRI alternative

    Man, I didn't want to get this drug in the past, because it can be dangerous for your liver. Just for information : http://www.patientdrugnews.com/avoid-using-agomelatine-thymanax-valdoxan-questionable-effectiveness-depression-risk-serious-liver-toxicity/
  17. lysandre

    anti anxiety/panic medication

    Hi, I never took tramadol for anxiety but i read it can trigger HPPD...yours is gone now, don't take the risk. In my opinion, pharmaceutical drugs are useless in case of severe anxiety. I was on Lexomil, Seresta, Ativan for a time (tappering since few months, only take 0.85mg for sleep now), sure it helps a lot at the beginning but tolerance develops rapidly and it doesn't cure this condition. Not at all, and as tolerance increases, you feel more and more helpless. CBT may be usefull, but in my case sophrology cured me from extreme anxiety in 3-4 months (life was a losing battle, could'nt think or watch tv or sleep, wanted to kill myself 50 times/day cause this meaningless fear was so strong).I know this is an awful condition and this is a struggle everyday, but you need to calm your mind by working on the presence of your body, this is a good way to overcome this s***, mind can't do this because it's a part of the problem. This is the purpose of sophrology, i'm not cured yet but now I can live with myself most of the time.
  18. lysandre

    Prescription Glasses

    I wear glasses and contact lens and neither of the two make my symptoms worse. Maybe you should search for another cause...i'm very sorry for your i read you story, I hope you get better again, stay strong as much as you can, yes it's easy to write this and i'm not you, but i sincerely think that it's just a phase and you will get better...
  19. lysandre

    HPPD/palinopsia caused by SSRIs ?

    Hi neverwarned, Yes I saw some improvements, blurry vision is way better, halos have been subsided a little since my new years eve binge, negative after images seems to be less annoying, they last for a shorter time, I guess. I have been doing exercice for a time, but after I caught a cold I stopped doing sport, and surprisingly, my symptoms seems to have subside at this moment, but I'm not sure about this. But since 1 week, after an evening on pc playing video games and watching e-sport (with f.lux programm) my vision is really bad in the dark ,very grainy, and CEV have reappered, grainy lights and circles, although they were gone since 2 months. Dark/plane surfaces seems to "flicker" during the day, but I try to not pay too much attention to this (very difficult). So now i have trouble sleeping, and anxiety is strong again, despite relaxation/sophrology. I'm not sure about this, but I think the f.lux programm can be bad, I intend to not going so much on computers anymore for the moment even at work. Fuck this. I hope you get better with time.
  20. Hello everyone.My name is Sébastien, i'm 37 years old and I live in France. I've always been very anxious but i'm a in a terrible state since 1 month. I'm suffering from depression/anxiety since 4 months. (i've been on ativan since 2 months) So I've been on Paxil for 1 week at 10mg, but it gave me severe urinary retention. I took it for 6 days and one day at 5mg. I was having an appointment with a psychiatrist the day after i stopped Paxil (so the next day), and he advice me to take Zoloft (Sertralin) beacause it was much more tolerable and less side effects on libido. (sorry for my terrible english) I took half dose of Zoloft (25mg) on Thursday 9. This night, I went to bed and as soon as I closed my eyes, an intense light activity appeared, with lot of flashes and lights, dots, lots of "pictures" at a very high speed etc. I've also had kind of "hallucinations". I've had my psychiatrist on the phone and he said that these kind of side effects were unknown with Zoloft etc., my pharmacist said that was normal, beginning of an antidepressant treatment. I took Zoloft for 4 days and now i'm no longer taken it. Now since 1 month i have Light sensitivity Negative After images Halos CEV More floaters than before I know that my symptoms are not as severe as many of you... I've seen 2 ophtalmologist, 1 neurologist; had a brain scanner and MRI, everything is "normal". These symptoms seems to improve a little bit but i drank so much on New years Eve... and now they are worse, especially the negative after images. No More alcohol for me. All of this doesn't help my anxiety, I hate my psychiatrist and I hate my self, was just so dumb to take this poison, now i'm very upset and scared. I take vitamins, magnesium (300mg) and Omega 3 fish oil (1050 EPA/day) since 1 week What do you think about that ? Is there any people who had experienced similar symptoms with SSRIs ? Thanks a lot for your consideration.
  21. Hello guys, I have mild HPPD-like from SSRI since 2 and a half month now, I can handle it most of the time but the blurry vision from mid/far distance is the symptom that bother me the most (depressed me sometimes). I've seen ophtalmologists and neurologist and this problem doesn't seem to be picked up in standard eye test or electroretinogram. When I read, even for a short time, my vision get worse, then go back to standard base line. Has anyone has saw any improvement or recovered from this symptom ? (with time or supplements) Thank you for reading !
  22. lysandre

    HPPD/palinopsia caused by SSRIs ?

    Thank you for the reply OnemoreStep. I don't take the Omega 3 anymore, but i'm full of guilt and regret since New Years Eve...I've drank too much, it's been more than a week and my symptoms got worse. I should have come here a little before. Thanks again for your advice, I wish you good luck too !
  23. In another post you were talking about naturals and vitamins, although you didn't know in what extent they have helped you...what supplements did you take ? Did Fish Oil/EPA could have help you for visuals ?
  24. lysandre

    HPPD/palinopsia caused by SSRIs ?

    Hello K.B Fante, Your message done me a lot of good, for real. You people are so kind, thanks for helping me with your words. It helps me a lot. it's very touchy and motivates me to try to think in a positive way. Thank for your advice too. I wish you good luck too !
  25. lysandre

    HPPD/palinopsia caused by SSRIs ?

    Thanks so so much for your reply Moderator, it gives me some relief. Thanks a bunch for this. I didn't have HPPD symptoms before Zoloft. 4 months ago I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, but it was fine, in a way, we were so different. It was ok. But 3 weeks later, I saw her at a party, she was with her best friend and some guys, having fun, drinking, and so beautiful. We had a little chat, then she was gone. She was really gone for me this time, and something collapsed in me. During 2 months i wanted to disappear, my self-confidence was completely gone, I had these toughts in loop in my head "She's young and hot, she can find a guy whenever she wants, it's so easy for her, me I'm ugly, I will never find another girl etc." These toughts had litteraly destroyed me, lots of anxiety which triggered a depression. After that, I began to see a psychologist, and he talked about depersonnalisation/derealisation during a conversation because i told him that i had smoking hash for a long time. Ok, so I went to the internet to learn about this and suddenly I developed an OCD in my head. I was trying to be not "depersonalised", so stupid and anxious. I thought i was going crazy, on Sunday i went to psychiatry center to be reassured and to have a prescription. The doctor prescribed me some lorazepam, 3mg/day. On the 3rd week, after having tappered these to 1.5 mg, I began to get really anxious about the fact that I was already on benzos for 3 weeks and had to stop it for good (fear of addiction or too fast withdrawal i don't know), but I couldn't, during the next week i developed insomnia and really, really awful anxiety attacks. I never suffered like this, from a psychic view, so much despair and pain, although I had a cancer 10 years ago, cured now with the help of God and my surgeon. I don't live near where terrorist ttacks happened but this is really tense in the whole country, lots of events had ben cancelled, etc. Not a very peacefull atmosphere here. Yes I try to have a healthy living, exercice, sophrology, good diet. I have some sleep issues but a doctor give me some melatonin, maybe i will try it, although i'm afraid of drugs now, more than ever... Thanks a lot again for all your advice.

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