Thanks so so much for your reply Moderator, it gives me some relief. Thanks a bunch for this.
I didn't have HPPD symptoms before Zoloft.
4 months ago I broke up with my ex-girlfriend, but it was fine, in a way, we were so different. It was ok. But 3 weeks later, I saw her at a party, she was with her best friend and some guys, having fun, drinking, and so beautiful. We had a little chat, then she was gone. She was really gone for me this time, and something collapsed in me. During 2 months i wanted to disappear, my self-confidence was completely gone, I had these toughts in loop in my head "She's young and hot, she can find a guy whenever she wants, it's so easy for her, me I'm ugly, I will never find another girl etc." These toughts had litteraly destroyed me, lots of anxiety which triggered a depression. After that, I began to see a psychologist, and he talked about depersonnalisation/derealisation during a conversation because i told him that i had smoking hash for a long time. Ok, so I went to the internet to learn about this and suddenly I developed an OCD in my head. I was trying to be not "depersonalised", so stupid and anxious.
I thought i was going crazy, on Sunday i went to psychiatry center to be reassured and to have a prescription.
The doctor prescribed me some lorazepam, 3mg/day. On the 3rd week, after having tappered these to 1.5 mg, I began to get really anxious about the fact that I was already on benzos for 3 weeks and had to stop it for good (fear of addiction or too fast withdrawal i don't know), but I couldn't, during the next week i developed insomnia and really, really awful anxiety attacks. I never suffered like this, from a psychic view, so much despair and pain, although I had a cancer 10 years ago, cured now with the help of God and my surgeon.
I don't live near where terrorist ttacks happened but this is really tense in the whole country, lots of events had ben cancelled, etc. Not a very peacefull atmosphere here.
Yes I try to have a healthy living, exercice, sophrology, good diet. I have some sleep issues but a doctor give me some melatonin, maybe i will try it, although i'm afraid of drugs now, more than ever...
Thanks a lot again for all your advice.