• Content count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won


Everything posted by Onemorestep

  1. Thats so interesting because the ONE thing that seemed positive from my HPPD (from mushrooms) was my ocd went away. TBH I think I would rather have it back. It wasn't SUPER severe and it actually aided me in being meticulous in art/school.
  2. Really I'm looking to improve my sleep >_< it's at a point now where it's going to shave years off my life if I don't get it in order and it's been two years of poor sleep. It's not gonna get better on its own...
  3. Anyone tried it? I'm curious.
  4. Does anyone know anything about this supplement? It's supposed to inhibit the breakdown of endorphins via enzyme blocking. But is there tolerance? Withdrawal? I can find very little about this stuff but it helps a lot with my sleep and pain issues. I'm just wary of messing with things I don't understand... withdrawal sucks
  5. This might be helpful for you! I do a keto diet as we have PM'd about. Its a strict one but it treats me right. Below is a link to some evidence for a calming action
  6. NAC

    For some reason NAC gives me horrific anxiety attacks. A few other people around the internet report this as well. Low glutamate in certain brain regions may account for this as lowering those levels further has a downstream effect on reducing GABA. No way to tell though >_<
  7. I find this REALLY fascinating since keppra does modulate opiate functioning. "These results show that levetiracetam produced antihyperalgesia which is at least in part mediated by GABAA, opioid, 5-HT and α2-adrenergic receptors, in an inflammatory model of pain." -
  8. Got to let the brain recover. No stimulants (including caffeine). No drugs or alcohol. It sounds awful but so is living a life unfulfilled because youre disabled from this! Have hope. No other choice but to cling to hope
  9. Im using a testing company out in california called IGNEX. They are very reliable. The test came back indeterminate and im supposed to get a follow up but its been hard. I've had hppd for years unfortunately. The test that came back as a maybe for lymes indicated that i contracted it recently. My VS has not changed in about two years.
  10. Anyone have experience with doxycycline? Doctor thinks I have lymes disease. Pretty positive test. Very worried about this... if anyone has input please let me know >_<
  11. We also don't know how briv is different from keppra. Sure it has higher affinity for antagonizing glutamate functioning but does it also have that for the others? The studies done on briv were meant for treating epilepsy so its hard to know.
  12. The thing is we don't know why keppra helps those with HPPD. I know that the glutamate suppression with briv is a lot higher but who knows if thats why it helps. Keppra has a crazy amount of indirect antagonism on receptors. Off the top of my head dopamine, serotonin, opiate, acetylcholine, and glutamate receptors are all influenced.
  13. yea its p much trash haha. but ive never heard of it hurting
  14. It purportedly doesn't cross the blood brain barrier. But you got gaba receptors all over your body. Could calm the cns. Raises testosterone apparently too. I've tried it a few times with good effects but can't remove placebo so idk. 99 percent sure it won't hurt but always be cautious.
  15. The majority of my hppd came on after a wonderful trip! No problems with ego death at all. Some lsd analogue idk what it was xD. Had a beautiful time up in the mountains of Virginia. So eh who the hell knows
  16. as was mentioned before its active metabolite is mcpp. They used to put that shit in ecstasy way back when. Ive taken trazadone a lot in my life and didn't notice the effect of the mcpp. Maybe because I was generally taking 50mg. Perhaps the mcpp was being metabolized fast enough to not make much of a difference. Who knows.
  17. I decided to give keppra a shot. Too many miracle success stories for me to ignore! I also felt huge relief from oxiracetam and coluracetam (before I started having speech problems and quit cold turkey... HUGE mistake. Should have tapered. Still recovering from that a year later) and am hoping this racetam will be the golden ticket. I know it probably won't but that me mindset was the only way I could get myself to try it xD I am starting out with a test dose of 5mg to make sure I don't have an abnormal drug reaction as I am sensitive to all chemicals. Little history: I've suffered several TBI's over the years and suffered from chronic anxiety and depression for years. I had several HPPD symptoms pre drug use that I didn't realize weren't normal until my onset years later (light wiggling of lines where walls meet ceilings, DR, PTSD like anxiety) Had my first bout of HPPD from DXM use when I was 20. I started to have horrible nightmares and couldn't sleep for more than 5 hours at a time. Horrible anxiety. Stress. Etc. didn't know it was a HPPD symptom then though. Recovered naturally over the course of probably 6-8 months but still had reaccuring panic attacks from time to time. At the age of 21 (fall 2011) I started smoking pot chronically. I mean I jumped RIGHT in. Morning noon and night. I found my true love! It seemed to cure me of my social anxiety and what I now know is fibromyalgia/spastic hypertonia. I stated experimenting with mushrooms a year later. Once in the fall of 2012 and then a LARGE amount of mushroom use in the spring and one LSD trip which triggered the majority of my symptoms. I partially healed mentally but still had DP/DR, static, morphing of objects, anxiety, depression. One year ago all my symptoms were drastically worsened through abrupt cessation of oxiracetam and coluracetam. Now I feel suicidal on the regular, have extreme brain fog, dp/dr and anxiety. I use no drugs. I do not drink. Supplements Magnesium Sporadic gabapentin (300mg) Methyl folate B complex Valerian root (just finished withdrawals, that was a bitch) Last few weeks I tried very low dose uridine. Didn't seem to help Tried small doses of 7,8 dihydroxyflavone (1/10th normal doses). Worked a bit. Caused constipation that lasted weeks and a heavy withdrawal day. Haven't taken benzos in a two months. Probiotics Thiamin cocarboxylase It has been an hour and I don't feel very different. My legs feel heavy when I walk however. Strange. Looks like I didn't die so that's good! I will continue to experiment with increases dosages and keep reporting. Keep those fingered crossed for me! Much love
  18. So here we are, a little over a month and a half back on Keppra... and things are looking up! About 10 days ago the keppra induced depression started to fade which was (excluding the hair loss) my biggest problem with the med. I've had 4 days now of... dare I call it peace? It doesn't last all day but it's a welcome respite from my usual emotional state. Unlike last time though, I seem to be more empathetic and caring rather than borderline sociopathic haha. I've begun to laugh again. Music actually gives me pleasure. It's been so long I forgot what that felt like. I believe many here can relate to this- I was taking to my friend about how much we take for granted about being human. We don't appreciate the little things--enjoying your favorite song, feeling the grass between your toes, the smell of a warm summer night--- these are things we always think will be there. It isn't until they are gone that we understand how much substance these things bring to our lives. To be able to feel such joys is like stumbling upon an oasis in our hppd desert- I have tasted its healing fruit; a boon to these parched lips. ill keep y'all updated good to feel. ove seen some posts around here of people starting keppra and giving up after a month because they didn't feel good or even felt worse in ways. Unless it's to Save your life, I urge those giving this a trial to let their body adjust to the med before calling it quits. You might be surprised. with that being said, I've begun to reduce the dose I'm on. I want to find the optimum minimum dosage required for myself (I like my hair....). It took weeks for me to feel good so I'm going to be paying special attention to my state as I come down and definitely going to do it very slowly--about 8-10mg a day until I'm at 250. If I start feeling bad I'll just go back up again. I've titrated 63mg over the past 5 days and was at 750 (250 x 3 a day) originally. No negative changes so far. Symptoms: good and bad 1st week: mild energy, mild mood stabilization 2nd week: crippling depression, hair loss decreased libido. Decrease in extreme anxiety; still have generalized. 3rd week: mood swings, depression, hair loss, decreases libido, agoraphobia, adversion to socializing. Decrease in extreme anxiety; still have generalized. 4th week: mood swings, depression (very bad, can't get out of bed), hair loss, decreases libido cognitive dysfunction (feel slow, bad word recall, memory impairment), agoraphobia, adversion to socializing 5th week: same as 4th 6th week: depression lifts for the most part, pain reduction, hair loss, decreased libido (seems remedied by taking centrum silver but this ramps up anxiety for me to an intolerable level-- alternatives for me include cialis and prostastrong red. Had plenty of sex and I was fine). Cognitive dysfunction persists but is more intermittent. Mood swings continue but more more inconsistently. Agoraphobia begins to fade but still comes at times. Same with social aversion. 7th week: hair loss, pain reduction (mild pleasant feeling physically at times; comfortable), anxiety reduction, libido worsens and mild anorgasmia starts; erectile function is okay though (eh nothing wrong with lasting long ;p). Mood swings continue to decrease, cognitive dysfunction begins to lift, moments of serenity begin, interest in music and activities begin to come back. Anticipatory anhedonia (symptom from before keppra) begins to recede. Agoraphobi fades and is replaces with mild wonder lust. Still some mild social aversion but I can't tell if it's because I'm feeling shy like I was before or because I'm just enjoying spending time alone walking outside and feeling again. I feel a much larger spectrum of emotions which can include negative ones but they feel like "normal" negative emotions if that makes sense. Who doesn't feel bad from time to time? Througout this all my mushroom induced hppd visuals (warping/growing/shrinking) has increased but it is not bothersome and no where close to where it was in the early stages of hppd. No effect on visual snow. Oxiracetam (a positive alosteric modultor of glutamate and acetylcholine receptors) made these visuals go away. Keppra inhibits glutamate release and definitely inhibits acetylcholine function in some manner and this makes them worse. Something to mull over when considering the etiology of psilocybin induced hppd visuals and the way the visual cortex filters information. Things that calm my brain down either do not effect my visuals or make them worse. I've used things to decrease and increase acetylcholine and this does not seem to effext my visuals so I assume my visual dysfunction lies in the area of glutamate. The visual processing systems in the brain are very complex, however glutamate does play a big role in filtering. At times i get small spurts of what I think people refer to as Keppra rage. However it feels more like impatience to me. It is vey mild and completely tolerable. I only seem to experience it about once a day or twice a day for a few minutes. This is also becoming less and less frequent. Only those who know me very well have even noticed tbh and I just process the feelings for what they are and let em go without being snappy xD. Like I said they last a very short time and in the face of my emotional stability are easily tolerable. Before keppra i was experiencing what felt like bipolar manic depressive swings. More like hypomania but included symptoms like risk taking (sex, money spending, etc) and then extreme drepressive episodes. These have largely abated! I am currently in paws from long term GABAA alosteric modulator use (lorazepam, gabapentin?) aand GABAB agonist use (baclofen, gabapentin). Symptoms from this often feel very similar to aspects of hppd and I suspect they share similar causal origins. Keppra has put huge dents in my symptoms. Theres a lot of awesome information about Keppra out there. It appears to effect a large array of neurotransmitter systems. I'll post more about it at some point. There was one particular article explaining the anealgesic effect of the drug that was vey enlightening. Much love to you all ☺️ -oms
  19. You should have your genome tested and get your raw data. Sometimes certain supplements can be harmful depending on if you have a mutation or not. I'm not supposed to take tumeric for example!
  20. Also go slow with everything you take. Keep a log and only start each supplement one at a time with at least a week in between starting new ones. With this condition it's more likely you will have bad reactions than good ones so if you try to much at once, you'll never know which caused it. I've deff made this mistake in the past.
  21. Turns out the panic and tingling came from taking centrum silver. Normally this kind of supplementation would be fine but since I have benzo paws b vitamins are a big no go. It sucks because I feel much more physically healthy taking b vitamins but mentally I become a wreck and have intense insomnia and paraethesia. Nac causes panic attacks for me now. I'm kinda technically not supposed to take folate because of mthfr stuff. Tumeric is also off the list for gene issues. I tried bacoba years ago before hppd and didn't notice much. When not suffering from paws i find nac tolerable and benificial. Tumeric is also a great herb for health. remember to take b12 with your folate. You probably won't get into folate trap issues but it's necessary. Honestly i recomend getting your blood blood tested for all major vitamins and minerals. Just take a look at centrum silvers ingredients list and get all of them tested hahah. It's easier than experimenting with shit. also I've noticed many similarities with hppd and benzo paws. Similar sensitivity to supplements. Just something to think about haha
  22. I've started to feel full body tingles almost all the time. I feel very disoriented and confused. Can't tell what day of the week it is. Panic attacks. Anyone had this with Keppra?
  23. I don't think I've seen any reports of it helping with visuals. Interesting enough oxiracetam made my mushroom visuals go away and fixed my cognitive distinction (growing/shrinking/brain fog etc) but made my hppd much much worse (like taking 10 hits of acid) after trying to stop cold turkey.
  24. Oh yea there is plenty going on that contributes to it. Lots of situational social stress and anxiety. Then stress about the hair falling out, Peyronie's disease, school, girls, etc. it doesn't help haha you know dosage with Keppra in regards to hppd is a REALLY interesting thing. I've noticed that some people react well to the 1500mg a day dosage recommended in the case study that floats around here. I've read other reports of people taking as low as 50mg a day and, while it took months to get there, saw a 70 percent reduction in symptoms.
  25. Also since I have PAWS from Ativan and gabapentin I have no idea if some of these symptoms are just from that and will get better over time. I believe the Keppra is making the depression worse but inimagine it will get better as my GABA system heals and recouples or whatever.