Onemorestep

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Everything posted by Onemorestep

  1. I decided to give keppra a shot. Too many miracle success stories for me to ignore! I also felt huge relief from oxiracetam and coluracetam (before I started having speech problems and quit cold turkey... HUGE mistake. Should have tapered. Still recovering from that a year later) and am hoping this racetam will be the golden ticket. I know it probably won't but that me mindset was the only way I could get myself to try it xD I am starting out with a test dose of 5mg to make sure I don't have an abnormal drug reaction as I am sensitive to all chemicals. Little history: I've suffered several TBI's over the years and suffered from chronic anxiety and depression for years. I had several HPPD symptoms pre drug use that I didn't realize weren't normal until my onset years later (light wiggling of lines where walls meet ceilings, DR, PTSD like anxiety) Had my first bout of HPPD from DXM use when I was 20. I started to have horrible nightmares and couldn't sleep for more than 5 hours at a time. Horrible anxiety. Stress. Etc. didn't know it was a HPPD symptom then though. Recovered naturally over the course of probably 6-8 months but still had reaccuring panic attacks from time to time. At the age of 21 (fall 2011) I started smoking pot chronically. I mean I jumped RIGHT in. Morning noon and night. I found my true love! It seemed to cure me of my social anxiety and what I now know is fibromyalgia/spastic hypertonia. I stated experimenting with mushrooms a year later. Once in the fall of 2012 and then a LARGE amount of mushroom use in the spring and one LSD trip which triggered the majority of my symptoms. I partially healed mentally but still had DP/DR, static, morphing of objects, anxiety, depression. One year ago all my symptoms were drastically worsened through abrupt cessation of oxiracetam and coluracetam. Now I feel suicidal on the regular, have extreme brain fog, dp/dr and anxiety. I use no drugs. I do not drink. Supplements Magnesium Sporadic gabapentin (300mg) Methyl folate B complex Valerian root (just finished withdrawals, that was a bitch) Last few weeks I tried very low dose uridine. Didn't seem to help Tried small doses of 7,8 dihydroxyflavone (1/10th normal doses). Worked a bit. Caused constipation that lasted weeks and a heavy withdrawal day. Haven't taken benzos in a two months. Probiotics Thiamin cocarboxylase It has been an hour and I don't feel very different. My legs feel heavy when I walk however. Strange. Looks like I didn't die so that's good! I will continue to experiment with increases dosages and keep reporting. Keep those fingered crossed for me! Much love
  2. I've started to feel full body tingles almost all the time. I feel very disoriented and confused. Can't tell what day of the week it is. Panic attacks. Anyone had this with Keppra?
  3. I don't think I've seen any reports of it helping with visuals. Interesting enough oxiracetam made my mushroom visuals go away and fixed my cognitive distinction (growing/shrinking/brain fog etc) but made my hppd much much worse (like taking 10 hits of acid) after trying to stop cold turkey.
  4. Oh yea there is plenty going on that contributes to it. Lots of situational social stress and anxiety. Then stress about the hair falling out, Peyronie's disease, school, girls, etc. it doesn't help haha you know dosage with Keppra in regards to hppd is a REALLY interesting thing. I've noticed that some people react well to the 1500mg a day dosage recommended in the case study that floats around here. I've read other reports of people taking as low as 50mg a day and, while it took months to get there, saw a 70 percent reduction in symptoms.
  5. Also since I have PAWS from Ativan and gabapentin I have no idea if some of these symptoms are just from that and will get better over time. I believe the Keppra is making the depression worse but inimagine it will get better as my GABA system heals and recouples or whatever.
  6. Hahah in many ways yes. That speaks to the horror that is hppd when it's very acute. You'll put up with a lot to feel a bit more sane/less anxious.
  7. Update: had a few days where I was extremely depressed and tearful. This abated somewhat. Still have periods of depression. Sleep is weird. Sometimes I sleep better sometimes normal. Last few days I've been napping without as many negative emotional episodes upon waking (normally have panic and sadness). Hair is shedding rapidly. Strands all over my house, sink, shower. Anxiety has improved a lot. I'm depressed but I feel more sane. At 750 mg a day divided into three doses Considering about going down to 500 to see if the depression lifts a bit. Maybe I'll shed less. Considering zinc and selenium supplementation to combat hair loss.
  8. I have been on citalopram before. I didn't notice much but when I got off I felt better and was able to withdraw in a week since I felt so good coming off of it. I have a friend with hppd who took Prozac and it FUCKED HER UP. She was suicidal by the end. This was only on 10mg if it too. Once she stopped taking it she rapidly improved. i agree to trying something else. If you need to get more serotonin try other shops. Inositol is a good try. Maybe rhodiola would be good. Or other drugs that increase BDNF (Keppra does; 7,8 dihydroxyflavone, lithium orotate. I don't recommend the last two since one is a research chem (I have tried it though), and the second one is also a serious medication) exercise is good for for BDNF as well. Intermittent fasting too.
  9. Now that I'm back on Keppra I have restarted the inositol treatment at 10g a day. Once again it is helping a lot! I believe Keppra can reduce inositol and since adding it makes me feel better, I would say the lowered inositol isn't part of the MOA for Keppra that makes me feel better. I am on day two of inositol treatment. I'll keep posting. hydroxyzine is horrible stuff and shouldn't be taken with those who have hppd. I've heard too many bad reports.
  10. That's a very important one for sure. I have methylation issues with folate and it complicates a lot of things in regards to my health.
  11. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/23639870/ "Levetiracetam but not valproate inhibits function of CD8+ T lymphocytes."
  12. Interesting. I know Keppra suppresses the immune system. Perhaps this is one of the reasons it helps. I know drugs that raise acetylcholine have really screwed me over in the past too.
  13. After discontinuing Keppra in November I decided to give it another shot. I stopped before due to a bad reaction to Ritalin which seemed to change some brain functioning and caused the Keppra to make me very physically anxious. So far far so good. Took 500mg today. It's been cutting down on the panic a lotttt but the depression less so. I'm also reacting differently to it this time. Less euphoria like I had before when I was titrating up. But my brain is very different than it was last time so we'll see how this goes. No physical anxiety from it. today it made me pretty sedated for a bit. Felt a bit drunk tbh. However during the day I swam in the ocean and built a sand sculpture--two things I wouldn't do normally. Good signs. Some decrease in libido but that's normal.
  14. I'd be interested to see what gene mutations you have. I recently got mine done and there's 43 of them. Maybe theirs common mutations in all of us HPPDrs
  15. I took this prn for several years. I found I have a very naturally high tolelance for the stuff. Pretty benign though. Dont take if you have a family history of Peyronie's disease. Don't take at the same time with cialis or viagra, or other pde5 inhibitors (you'll probably pass out).
  16. For those of you interested here is some some information about the antihyperalgesic effect of keppra. Seems to involve many systems. Activation of these systems may allude to why it benefits people with hppd psychologically. "the results of the present study show that levetiracetam induces antihyperalgesia in an inflammatory model of pain and that this effect is at least in part, mediated by α2-adrenoceptors, GABAA, opioid and 5-HT receptors." https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2989589/#!po=61.3208 -oms
  17. Honestly I'm unsure what else to try. Unless I'm on Keppra, I am sensitive to most medications. Keppra has a lot of mechanisms but some primary ones involve gabergic modulation. That inhibitory action allows me to tolerate more meds/supplements. For instance while off it it I can't even really take B vitamins. They increase my methylation processes and that ramps me up too much. In the past I've tried lamotrigne, depekote, sinemet (gave me a rash (not the lethal one) that never went away on my face. Thank God for facial hair), ssris, Wellbutrin....honestly a huge score of meds. Some of them were before the hppd got really bad though. For some reason racetams really are able modulate my brain function more than any other drug. Unfortunately they seem to have side effects that aren't too great. oxiracetam improved things immensely. My visuals almost completely went away. 95 percent reduction. But I think screwed up my hypothalamus with it. After I stopped I Lost the ability to have sex for six months. Had no hunger or thirst response either. It was nuttts. Immense anxiety etc. this may have been caused by abrupt cessation though. Who knows. When i get the nerve I'll start the low dose Keppra. At least I know that after a certain number of months off it I'll return to normal if I find it isn't working. I just want to be able to have interests again haha
  18. Hey guys! So I'm thinking of giving keppra another go. It really kicked my physics pain that's been around since getting hppd in the butt and did wonders for reducing DP and bringing back my cognitive abilities. I could enjoy music again on it! Really was able to find serenity. However.... ...one side effect i am worried about is I noticed I became sort of sociopathic when I was on it? I seemed unable to put myself in other people's shoes as well. It really tore up a year long friendship and romantic relationship I had. Took about 6 months being off of it for my morals to come back. I was very technically ethical when I was on it. Hard to describe. Spocklike. It felt a little bit like there was a barrier between me and acknowledging that other people had emotions and feelings too. Has anyone else experienced this? I think going back into it if I keep that in mind I'll make better decisions. Plus I plan to just take between 10-50mg instead of the 1500 I was on. I read about a guy on here who did that and recovered a lot even though it took some months. I find this low dose pretty good at reducing my physical symptoms too. hope everyone is well! -oms
  19. I've done the keto diet on and off the last four year-- one on, two off, and one on. I find it's a great diet for energy, mental clarity, anti inflamitory support, and self esteem (you're gonna lose a lot of weight. I also eat no gluten (there just isn't much you can eat with gluten that doesn't also have carbs). For emotional support, it is great at reducing anxiety. Also without the insulin dips and spikes from eating carbs ones mood is more stable. in terms of weight loss, I went from 215 down to 164 where I am stable (I'm 6ft). It definitely made me feel better about myself! Just be prepared for a bit of the keto flu. You're going to crave carbs like no other. In fact you won't feel hungry for anything else. This will last 1-2 weeks and then your taste buds will change. I sometimes eat straight butter at restaurants because it tastes so good to me haha. if you want to get into ketosis FAST there are some thugs that will help: exercise and no cheating. Keep caloric intake at about 1600 calories. You can also spend 3-5 days eating one stick of cream cheese a day and only that haha. I did that for two days; this wasn't as bad as one would think. I've heard dairy ain't great for you but can someone school me as to why? I've never really looked because it's a huge part of me keeping my sanity not eating carbs. I could live on Brie hahah. hope it goes well for you! Just stick it out through the cravings and low energy and I promise you'll feel better soon
  20. WOOOOOO BOY HOWDY THIS IS SOME INTENSE STUFF. Withdrawals are nooo jokeeee. Although I've done an incredibly fast taper which I'm sure has made things more rough. I started on the 31st and now on the 11th I've cut my dosage beyond half. starting dose: .5mg Ativan twice daily 300mg gabapentin twice daily i cut the morning Ativan dose off the bat and waited a week and now I'm shaving around 20 percent a day off the remaining .5mg. Currently at around .25mg at night now the gabapentin I just tapered down by 20-50mg a day. Now I'm at about 60mg in the morning and 150 mg at night. its hell but getting through it! luckily I was only on them for about 8 months at a fairly low dose and not years.
  21. So I started taking 1mg of Ativan and 600mg of gabapentin about 6 months ago and am thinking about how to get off of them when I'm out of college for summer vacation. If anyone has any suggestions that would be great. I divided the dose in half and am takin it twice a day now about 12 hours apart from each other. I think I'm experiencing some withdrawal symptoms already. Do you think that's because the agonization is less potent even though I'm dosing more frequently? Would it he be a good idea to move to .25 4 times a day and 150mg gabapentin 4 times when I'm more comfortable at this level? Then I can start reducing the individual doses. Kinda an odd method but idk seems like it would at least make it less up and down. also considering going to get MeRT done (form of TMS). I went off 1mg of Ativan (sometimes two) that I had been taking for three months very quickly using this. I was already in hppd hell so I don't know if I had withdrawal symptoms. let me know your thoughts.
  22. Glad to hear you're feeling more with it! Yea wish we had better drug education in school. Had I known about what hallucinogens and drugs in general could do to me my life may have turned out differently. ...but then again I was a defiant one back in the day haha.
  23. I'm finding that the more I withdraw from these downers the more these vitamins make the panic worse. Discontinued today and feel a lot better. Once I've stabilized I'll re enstate them and see how I do. B vitamins are just a bit too stimulating right now!
  24. Hey guys-- thought some of you might be interested in looking at a fellow travelers gene mutations. The reason I'm posting this in Medication and Other Treatments is that this site, NutraHacker, offers suggestions for supplements and medications to support and avoid in aiding ones bodily functions in light of mutations. https://s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/reports.nutrahacker.com/mutationReports/NutraHacker_Complete_Mutation_Report_Customer_028a23b7-9f46-4616-8b5a-39aa49a6e692.pdf Anyone who has had experience with any of these supplements/drugs and wants to share it would be most appreciated. Or if you have any knowledge about the genes themselves feel free to speak up. I know about some like COMT and MTHFR but others are out of my paygrade. For instance, I just learned that selenium is great for the thyroid but if youre deficient in iodine it will make things worse. So interactions etc please let me know XD I listed the supplements below that im supposed to take and avoid. There is some crossover and Im supposedly meant to prioritize based off of my own personal experiences with the conflicting ones. Hope you guys find this as interesting as I do! Ive already started taking Hydroxy B12 and it definitely helps. Encourage: Zinc Whey Vitamin K Vitamin E in tocotrienol form Vitamin D3 Vitamin C Vitamin B6 Vitamin B3 Vitamin B12 Vitamin A TMG Theanine Taurine Sulforaphane Selenium SAMe inhibits Sage Rosemary Rooibos Riboflavin for high blood pressure Ribo-5-phosphate Reduced forms of folate Progesterone Potassium Possibly ketogenic diet Phosphatidylserine Phosphatidylcholine Ornithine/Arginine Ornithine Omega-3 fatty acids like fish oil NAC MSM Molybdenum Methyl B12 Manganese Low fat diet Lithium orotate L-methylfolate Iodine Hydroxy B12 (hydroxycobalamin) Grapeseed extract Glycine Glucarate Fiber Fat soluble antioxidants Diindolylmethane Curcumin CoQ10 Choline Cardamom Beta-alanine Avoid: Vitamin E Vitamin B6 (P-5-P form ok) Taurine Sulfates Noise (greater chance for hearing loss) Nicotine MSG Methyl donors Methyl B12 High fat diet Green tea Grapefruit Folinic acid Folate Estrogens EGCG Curcumin Cumin Cannabis BCAA Androgens Much love, OMS
  25. Like a lot of nootropic blends on the market you can just get the ingredients to these and do this yourself. Usually for a fraction of the cost. ^if you have bipolar polar IT IS seriously recommended you speak to your doctor before supplementing with acetyl-l-carnitine. It can induce psychosis.