Onemorestep

Nicotine is interesting to me. I have had the positive reaction you’ve mentioned and the negative reactions many people report at different times with my hppd. something interesting— nicotine helps alleviate a lot of the negative cognitive side effects of cannabis. https://selfhack.com/blog/top-6-unique-super-effective-ways-counteract-negative-performance-effects-cannabismarijuana/

Fascinating. You know one day when it comes out all of what the fuck this is... I’ll just eat my hat because sometimes there doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason.

I wonder if copper may help. If it does, this effect may be because of problems with dopamine b-hydroxylase. Complete shot in the dark.

I aggravated my own hppd temporarily pretty bad one time by staying up for 48 hours and then drinking 8 beers in about 2... it’s definitely possible. the timeline for these things is always of extreme interest to me. Especially when symptoms occur weeks or months after the self reported intake of a chemical.

A therapist—even better. You would have more patients than I think many would admit if you sought them out. Although it’s described as rare, I believe it’s incredibly prevalent. In fact I LIVED with three people in a single year in college who acquired it—two the year before meeting me and one during our time together...and not one knew what it was called. For something that is supposed to be “very rare”, having four out of five people in a home with a disorder seems an astronomical coincidence. AFAIK, none of them are doing especially well emotionally and could all benefit from therapy. Outside of that house I’ve run into so many people who complained of visual and mental disturbance after hallucinogenic use. I imagine, some of the newer drugs being sold as “lsd” may produce different rates of hppd. Mine didn’t get horribly bad until I think I took something in the nbome class. I hope researchers of traditional hallucinogens for therapeutic reasons are prepared for it when they destroy someone’s life... Anyway, I think you might find this article of some interest as someone with bpd and wants to enter the field you do there is a lot of stigma against people with bpd and if you run into that, I hope this pops into your head: https://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/23/health/23lives.html

I’m glad you’re alright!! Also while I’m sorry the anxiety has driven you to learn so much, I can’t say I’m disappointed there is someone out there without hppd who can spread awareness. I'm sure whatever you end up doing for work you will tackle with a ferocity

A lot of people come to his forum for that very reason—reassurance that if they do what we did then they won’t end up like us.... ...this is like going into a cancer ward and trying to get people to say it’s okay for you to have a cigarette every once in a while . I actually hope you don’t acquire hppd mostly because (aside from it being hell) I think there will be great novel cannabinoid therapies for bpd that will allow you to feel “normal” in the future but without the side effects of being on thc... but having hppd can really mess with your ability to receive cannabinoid therapy. So yes do not take LSD anymore. Especially since you said you have had a panic attack. LSD or any hallucinogen really shouldn’t be taken by anyone with high levels of anxiety. My advice to anyone who has taken a strong hallucinogenic drug and experienced a panic attack, especially for the first time, within the next few weeks.... don’t do more drugs. Especially not drugs that share similar mechanisms of action (or hallucinogenics). do you have hppd? IMO NO. It’s really something you feel. For most who are here—, you wake up the next day, or a few days, or, rarely, a few weeks after a trip and you’re TRIPPING BALLZ AGAIN! You are beset by anxiety. You can’t shake the awful feeling. It’s like you are wiped away and this new thing is here and it’s not you. You find you can’t do things like you used to. School is difficult for most if not almost impossible. Some can’t drive or hold down jobs. I haven’t been able to read fiction, my one true love in life pre hppd, since getting it because I can’t really connect the information on one page to the second in time and in in a way that elicits emotion. But, before that day I woke up with it, there were a lot of warning signs I shrugged off. One of which was unusual bouts of anxiety/depression in the weeks and months after using hallucinogens (masked this with pot). Another one was cannabis changed for me. It felt MUCH stronger and more “trippy” like lsd. Just info for you. Am I concerned by you saying you had a panic attack two weeks after lsd, are really scared about hppd, and want to know if you can still use other drugs? A bit haha. If I was you, and if I felt different or saw things different after the lsd, I would abstain from all drugs until I felt normal and then double that time. Then I would try cannabis. This is an educated guess on what might be safe for someone just based off what we have found here that abstinence from certain chemicals helps the brain return to the state the sufferer wishes. But you don’t feel different; correct me if I’m wrong. If all that happened was you took lsd and for a few days after felt a little different (something commonly reported) and you’ve had panic attacks before the one you had two weeks after then I would say you have no issues related to the lsd. but one thing I can say for certain—if you don’t do hallucinogenic drugs it is extremely extremely unlikely you will get hppd. So if it’s concerning to you, don’t do hallucinogenic drugs. If you still feel really anxious about it (I truly understand, I had a lot of anxiety before hppd a lot like yours. I remember one time being convinced pre hppd I had a hernia and absolutely did not rofl) and If you want your safest route forward, abstain from all drugs forever. If that’s unreasonable (for most people it is haha ) don’t take lsd or traditional hallucinogens again and don’t smoke cannabis for a year. Then return to your normal habits. This route is conservative but a safe one IMO.

“The French philosopher Jean Paul Sartre, for example, complained of being followed by crabs after a trip on mescaline.” A Frenchman complaining of being beset by crabs? Nonsense. ...couldn’t resist

Hi Justan— I just want to add that the brain is highly plastic at your age I know it sounds really dumb when “adults” say you shouldn’t drink and do drugs until a certain age but that is because your brain is actually still developing hahah. What adults should add, after that, is if you wait to do these things until your brain has cemented a bit, you will have a more enjoyable experience with substances over the whole of your life, and more likely (and most importantly to me) a greater baseline happiness. do you have hppd? No one here can tell for certain if you have or are susceptible to it as no on here understands why it happens. do your other “disorders” feed into susceptibility? Something To ponder. Hallucinogens are like Russian roulette for some people and we don’t know why... I will say I have been running across some very interesting info on two of the disorders you have mentioned you have and their relationship to the endocannabinoid system. There is preliminary evidence that endocannabinoid dysfunction is involved in disorders such as bpd and migraine headaches. It is my belief that the ECS also plays a role in hppd but that’s just me. what do you do with that info? I would err on the side of caution when mixing drugs that increase the plasticity of your brain and drugs that effect the endocannabinoid system if it seems plausible your endocannabinoid system isn’t functioning properly as is. and as jay has said, your stress about it is another factor. that stress is very biologically real. The stress itself, is quantifiable and measurable by science (increases in stress hormones, increase in excitatory neurotransmitters, reduction in inhibitory neurotransmitters etc etc etc). It would be remiss to say that ones individual stress being high couldn’t possibly influence ones susceptibility to getting hppd when under the influence. That’s because, once again, we don’t know why this happens. if you are here posting at 18, however, your anxiety is high enough to motivate you to do so, and I would suggest you remove the stress and anxiety from your life by not playing with something you think might be fire, at least for a little while I can tell just from the way you write you have a good head on your shoulders so nurture that space and intelligence the best you can. Life is looooooooooong (I’m 30 and started my dance with hppd around your age) no need to rush. Besides the world is FULL of things way way waaay cooler than drugs haha. I mean in 1980 maybe cocaine was the coolest thing to do but now you have a supercomputer in your pocket. You want to be mentally in a good place to experience the sheer bat shit fucking sci-fi insanity that’s coming our way. much love, Oms

Truly something I worry about every time I post on here about anything. But, and I mean no disrespect —this is a super valid fear and concern— that line of thinking leaves us without a message board. We’re not doctors, nor do we understand the etiology of this disorder (it always feels like it’s not enough to say disorder. What word do you use when half of you is ripped away?). There are a lot of things that have helped me that hurt others and vice versa. I’ve taken things on this website that others have had “no response” to that sent me into hell. And I’ve sent others into hell who have read of my successes and taken a plunge. It’s incredibly frightening to think (and in my case know) you have led others towards experiencing great great pain. The first time someone had a bad reaction to something I had written about positively, it was almost too much for me. I felt so incredibly guilty knowing I had made their disorder, which I know firsthand to be so incredibly unbearable, worse. But what else can we do? This is, IMO, a place for support and to offer suggestion for those who have been largely abandoned by medical society. For many, there is no where else to turn. That same medication I wrote about also helped someone else greatly in their recovery. Your fear is understandable. Don’t let it go. Every post, use that fear to remind yourself of your duty to not cause harm. But also remember all we can do is talk about our experiences, offer support, and hope that it helps a brother or sister suffering out there. I hope you’re feeling even a little better psychedelian. You never know when life is going to cut you some slack and drop something beautiful into your lap. much love, oms

Update: emotional range is still increased. Before hppd I would always cry during emotional scenes during movies. That ceases with hppd onset and never returned, even during very good periods. Now, that is back. In fact, sometimes I can cry at will now. it is still my belief that delta-8-thc can exacerbate hppd and should be approached with extreme caution. this did not “cure” me. In fact, my overuse has very much hurt me. If I didn’t have access to extremely good medical care (hyperbaric chambers, so many supplements, free time to heal, etc etc) I would be in a whole heap of trouble right now. I still may be. If asked, I would say I absolutely received a brain insult from overuse. still, I reiterate that I would be remiss if I didn’t continue to update the current partial remittance of one of the worst parts of my HPPD by Delta 8.

I take pramipexole once every few days. Started one year ago. At first I took it everyday and turreted up to 1mg. It makes me feel like SHIT, sleep terrible, and feel terrible the whole next day... followed by 3 good days. It took quite a long time for it to start making me feel bad. about 6 months I think. It’s why I titrrated down to lowest possible dose. it really helps me with my anhedonic depression. I can enjoy and seek things out that used to give me pleasure.... ... and I don’t seem to have DAWS from it which is a real real threat when taking it. I still might develop it. Pramipexole is a wild beast and it can really effect things like compulsions and sex drive... if I hadn’t experienced semi permanent anhedonia from hppd and baclofen use I would never try it. Definitely a last resort kind of thing. this dex version is certainly interesting tho hmm

Link is broken for me :x I take lions mane occasionally but holy shit it makes me BLACK BLACK DEPRESSED if I take it too many days in a row. All I can do is sleep and contemplate death. This wears off in 24-48 hours. Understanding my relationship with acetylcholine helps me not overdo it with lions mane.

What connective tissue issues have you experienced? I’ve had a lot of muscular problems since early on in my hppd. They e gotten quite severe at points... I’ve suspected connective tissue issues as well.

People with hppd’s response to “weed” seems to be more variable than people admit. Most people here, are bad enough they can’t tolerate it. additionally, one must remember there can be over 180 different compounds in cannabis. I react poorly to some, and well to others. That’s one of the annoying things about it—not targeted. I have this theory about the endocannabinoid system becoming “bent” by use of cannabinoids and hallucinogens in people with hppd and this leads to poor binding of endogenous anandamide.... in other words if it works for you use the lowest dose possible and take breaks or else you might find what once caused a positive, or agonist, response soon causes a negative, or antagonistic, response.

If you are extremely informed and find a doctor who is willing you can get almost anything. I’ve been prescribed baclofen 80mg daily, keppra, selegiline, and all sorts of fun things. It’s just about finding the right person. Most of the time I enter psych offices and know more about the medications I am asking for than the doctors (that either goes very well or very poorly actually now that I think on it. Ego is a thing for a lot of docs) I honestly think the best person would be a knowledgeable neurologist who might take an interest but that’s not something I’ve tried. Most of the drugs I take you can just buy anyway. Naltrexone, memantine, pramipexole, bpc-156, nsi-189, etc etc. you’d be surprised how many medications are “unscheduled” and therefore legal to buy otc, although you won’t find them in cvs hehe...

I have also had anger issues but only after two things— head injuries and hppd onset. There are a lot of things that can cause irritation and anger I’m sure, but I know brain inflammation is one of them. Naltrexone, mixed with a low dose of Ativan, makes me weirdly sleepy and relaxed in a way neither does alone. By itself it just seems to help my emotions stay stable and puts me in a better head space. I also feel more associated as you say. I wish I could get the s isomer of it, as that is reported to have the micro glial anti inflammatory effects without the opioid. Then I could differentiate one effect from the other. all in all I think it’s a fine drug. I didn’t start it until I was about 1.5 years into benzo withdrawal just so you know (mine was very very bad as I also withdrew from gabapentin and anti epileptics all in the same period because I’m a fucking masochist apparently). im sorry you’re going through benzo withdrawal. It’s hell. It does get better though. About one year into it, I took BPC-157 and it helped immensely. I know of only two others besides myself on this site who have taken bpc and one had a terrible reaction, one had a great one. I have absolutely no idea why one way or the other. having a reduction in anger from naltrexone is very interesting as it’s an opiate antagonist and should cause it if anything haha. Brains are cool.

These are all fascinating theories. I developed a lot of gut issues around the time I accrued hppd. currently I am wondering if these were effects from deregulation of the endocannabinoid system, but it’s all theoretical too. Some very interesting stuff goes on when you have a system of poor endocannabinoid binding...

I have had enormous benefit in the past from naltrexone, which I primarily attribute to its effect on glial cells—If it helps hehe

I’ve often wondered if the genetic makeup of those who listen to music like this predisposes them to certain conditions. You certainly need high dopamine to like it haha. (I’ve been listening to asot for about 14 years now)

Selegiline is fine for me but not when I am experiencing acute symptoms. I don’t recommend anything but maoi-b until you really understand your hppd. Maoi-a is much “dirtier” in its mechanisms and I’ve never tried those. it can be hard to differentiate what neurotransmitter systems are causing what specific emotions. Took me a lot of trial and error and I still am very much in the dark, although it’s getting to sunrise haha.

Kava is a potent nmda antagonist compatible to memantine along with having activity in the ECS. I take kava but I’ve had this 7 years. orobably not good to mix something as strong as memantine with another nmda antagonist too. Now that you mention it, sometimes I do have issues with eye muscle control when trying to go to sleep. It’s just not horrible nor all the time. Been like that since a child though.

I’m sorry to hear you are suffering. It might feel very bad, but I assure you your hppd is in a good place compared to many of you are going years without complaints. It’s horrible, even when mild like yours, but I hope that statement helps what is clearly some very high (understandably) anxiety. hppd will not cause you to go blind, thank god. It doesn’t tend to get worse as long as your stress is under control and you are abstaining from drugs and alcohol. Honestly have drinks with friends in moderation and enjoy life as much as you can. If alcohol gives you anxiety, day or the week after, avoid it when you can. The power of the mind is amazing and we often are what we are focusing on. This usually isn’t advice I give if I’m being honest. Usually I’m very medication oriented. But if I was to offer suggestions for something that might help, it is breathing properly. The diaphram, the. upper chest, then belly. 3 seconds in, 12 seconds out. Or 6/18, 2/12, 1/20. What’s important is that your intake faster and your exhale is slower. This will cause your vagus nerve to calm, and reduce the amount of adrenaline being produced in your brain and body. Cortisol will lower and you will leave fight or flight. It can be hard getting in the habit of breathing like this but I promise you over time it will very much help your brain and body heal. This consistently makes my visuals better, but not visual snow. My visual snow stays fairly regular no matter what.

http://dergi.fabad.org.tr/pdf/volum33/issue2/95-108.pdf

When I was in benzo withdrawal, cbd didn’t agree with me. Recently, my friend also stated as much. I have recently written a little bit on the site about my experience with cannabinoids in states of kindling from gaba drugs. While not in kindling I am fine. When I am in kindling all of them induce panic. at the moment, I am taking in very small amounts of cannabinoids. I think it’s very much a ymmv kind of thing as I’ve taken a gram in a day before and recently had periods where I couldn’t tolerate it at all. I suggest that if it worsens your symptoms and doesn’t feel good, do not take it. It sounds like it’s effecting your ECS which does effect blood pressure. I'm starting to believe that ECS dysfunction is a major component, if not the entirety, of what causes at least one variant of hppd. It’s almost as if agonists start to act as antagonists for those with hppd (if not literally, then the result is similar). Perhaps warped receptors. More agonization causes anandamide to be unable to bind? God I wish I had a lab. table 1 is interesting: so many symptoms of cb1 antagonists are what I’ve experienced from hppd. http://dergi.fabad.org.tr/pdf/volum33/issue2/95-108.pdf recently, I had a cannabinoid called delta 8 thc relieve a good deal of my symptoms. Unfortunately, I pushed the envelope and gave myself a little fright. I think I’m okay, still better off than before, but interesting enough whenever I take in any cannabinoid it results in temporary paraesthesia. I think some cannabinoids are able to bend the receptors better than others. Cbd doesn’t seem to have as much of effect in this regard and over time it loses efficacy it seems according to you. Or for some other reason I can’t fathom. this stuff is complex and budding. I expect we should find some very interesting answers to our problems concerning our ECS.