Onemorestep

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Onemorestep last won the day on April 27

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About Onemorestep

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  1. So here we are, a little over a month and a half back on Keppra... and things are looking up! About 10 days ago the keppra induced depression started to fade which was (excluding the hair loss) my biggest problem with the med. I've had 4 days now of... dare I call it peace? It doesn't last all day but it's a welcome respite from my usual emotional state. Unlike last time though, I seem to be more empathetic and caring rather than borderline sociopathic haha. I've begun to laugh again. Music actually gives me pleasure. It's been so long I forgot what that felt like. I believe many here can relate to this- I was taking to my friend about how much we take for granted about being human. We don't appreciate the little things--enjoying your favorite song, feeling the grass between your toes, the smell of a warm summer night--- these are things we always think will be there. It isn't until they are gone that we understand how much substance these things bring to our lives. To be able to feel such joys is like stumbling upon an oasis in our hppd desert- I have tasted its healing fruit; a boon to these parched lips. ill keep y'all updated good to feel. ove seen some posts around here of people starting keppra and giving up after a month because they didn't feel good or even felt worse in ways. Unless it's to Save your life, I urge those giving this a trial to let their body adjust to the med before calling it quits. You might be surprised. with that being said, I've begun to reduce the dose I'm on. I want to find the optimum minimum dosage required for myself (I like my hair....). It took weeks for me to feel good so I'm going to be paying special attention to my state as I come down and definitely going to do it very slowly--about 8-10mg a day until I'm at 250. If I start feeling bad I'll just go back up again. I've titrated 63mg over the past 5 days and was at 750 (250 x 3 a day) originally. No negative changes so far. Symptoms: good and bad 1st week: mild energy, mild mood stabilization 2nd week: crippling depression, hair loss decreased libido. Decrease in extreme anxiety; still have generalized. 3rd week: mood swings, depression, hair loss, decreases libido, agoraphobia, adversion to socializing. Decrease in extreme anxiety; still have generalized. 4th week: mood swings, depression (very bad, can't get out of bed), hair loss, decreases libido cognitive dysfunction (feel slow, bad word recall, memory impairment), agoraphobia, adversion to socializing 5th week: same as 4th 6th week: depression lifts for the most part, pain reduction, hair loss, decreased libido (seems remedied by taking centrum silver but this ramps up anxiety for me to an intolerable level-- alternatives for me include cialis and prostastrong red. Had plenty of sex and I was fine). Cognitive dysfunction persists but is more intermittent. Mood swings continue but more more inconsistently. Agoraphobia begins to fade but still comes at times. Same with social aversion. 7th week: hair loss, pain reduction (mild pleasant feeling physically at times; comfortable), anxiety reduction, libido worsens and mild anorgasmia starts; erectile function is okay though (eh nothing wrong with lasting long ;p). Mood swings continue to decrease, cognitive dysfunction begins to lift, moments of serenity begin, interest in music and activities begin to come back. Anticipatory anhedonia (symptom from before keppra) begins to recede. Agoraphobi fades and is replaces with mild wonder lust. Still some mild social aversion but I can't tell if it's because I'm feeling shy like I was before or because I'm just enjoying spending time alone walking outside and feeling again. I feel a much larger spectrum of emotions which can include negative ones but they feel like "normal" negative emotions if that makes sense. Who doesn't feel bad from time to time? Througout this all my mushroom induced hppd visuals (warping/growing/shrinking) has increased but it is not bothersome and no where close to where it was in the early stages of hppd. No effect on visual snow. Oxiracetam (a positive alosteric modultor of glutamate and acetylcholine receptors) made these visuals go away. Keppra inhibits glutamate release and definitely inhibits acetylcholine function in some manner and this makes them worse. Something to mull over when considering the etiology of psilocybin induced hppd visuals and the way the visual cortex filters information. Things that calm my brain down either do not effect my visuals or make them worse. I've used things to decrease and increase acetylcholine and this does not seem to effext my visuals so I assume my visual dysfunction lies in the area of glutamate. The visual processing systems in the brain are very complex, however glutamate does play a big role in filtering. At times i get small spurts of what I think people refer to as Keppra rage. However it feels more like impatience to me. It is vey mild and completely tolerable. I only seem to experience it about once a day or twice a day for a few minutes. This is also becoming less and less frequent. Only those who know me very well have even noticed tbh and I just process the feelings for what they are and let em go without being snappy xD. Like I said they last a very short time and in the face of my emotional stability are easily tolerable. Before keppra i was experiencing what felt like bipolar manic depressive swings. More like hypomania but included symptoms like risk taking (sex, money spending, etc) and then extreme drepressive episodes. These have largely abated! I am currently in paws from long term GABAA alosteric modulator use (lorazepam, gabapentin?) aand GABAB agonist use (baclofen, gabapentin). Symptoms from this often feel very similar to aspects of hppd and I suspect they share similar causal origins. Keppra has put huge dents in my symptoms. Theres a lot of awesome information about Keppra out there. It appears to effect a large array of neurotransmitter systems. I'll post more about it at some point. There was one particular article explaining the anealgesic effect of the drug that was vey enlightening. Much love to you all ☺️ -oms
  2. You should have your genome tested and get your raw data. Sometimes certain supplements can be harmful depending on if you have a mutation or not. I'm not supposed to take tumeric for example!
  3. Also go slow with everything you take. Keep a log and only start each supplement one at a time with at least a week in between starting new ones. With this condition it's more likely you will have bad reactions than good ones so if you try to much at once, you'll never know which caused it. I've deff made this mistake in the past.
  4. Turns out the panic and tingling came from taking centrum silver. Normally this kind of supplementation would be fine but since I have benzo paws b vitamins are a big no go. It sucks because I feel much more physically healthy taking b vitamins but mentally I become a wreck and have intense insomnia and paraethesia. Nac causes panic attacks for me now. I'm kinda technically not supposed to take folate because of mthfr stuff. Tumeric is also off the list for gene issues. I tried bacoba years ago before hppd and didn't notice much. When not suffering from paws i find nac tolerable and benificial. Tumeric is also a great herb for health. remember to take b12 with your folate. You probably won't get into folate trap issues but it's necessary. Honestly i recomend getting your blood blood tested for all major vitamins and minerals. Just take a look at centrum silvers ingredients list and get all of them tested hahah. It's easier than experimenting with shit. also I've noticed many similarities with hppd and benzo paws. Similar sensitivity to supplements. Just something to think about haha
  5. I've started to feel full body tingles almost all the time. I feel very disoriented and confused. Can't tell what day of the week it is. Panic attacks. Anyone had this with Keppra?
  6. I don't think I've seen any reports of it helping with visuals. Interesting enough oxiracetam made my mushroom visuals go away and fixed my cognitive distinction (growing/shrinking/brain fog etc) but made my hppd much much worse (like taking 10 hits of acid) after trying to stop cold turkey.
  7. Oh yea there is plenty going on that contributes to it. Lots of situational social stress and anxiety. Then stress about the hair falling out, Peyronie's disease, school, girls, etc. it doesn't help haha you know dosage with Keppra in regards to hppd is a REALLY interesting thing. I've noticed that some people react well to the 1500mg a day dosage recommended in the case study that floats around here. I've read other reports of people taking as low as 50mg a day and, while it took months to get there, saw a 70 percent reduction in symptoms.
  8. Also since I have PAWS from Ativan and gabapentin I have no idea if some of these symptoms are just from that and will get better over time. I believe the Keppra is making the depression worse but inimagine it will get better as my GABA system heals and recouples or whatever.
  9. Hahah in many ways yes. That speaks to the horror that is hppd when it's very acute. You'll put up with a lot to feel a bit more sane/less anxious.
  10. Update: had a few days where I was extremely depressed and tearful. This abated somewhat. Still have periods of depression. Sleep is weird. Sometimes I sleep better sometimes normal. Last few days I've been napping without as many negative emotional episodes upon waking (normally have panic and sadness). Hair is shedding rapidly. Strands all over my house, sink, shower. Anxiety has improved a lot. I'm depressed but I feel more sane. At 750 mg a day divided into three doses Considering about going down to 500 to see if the depression lifts a bit. Maybe I'll shed less. Considering zinc and selenium supplementation to combat hair loss.
  11. I have been on citalopram before. I didn't notice much but when I got off I felt better and was able to withdraw in a week since I felt so good coming off of it. I have a friend with hppd who took Prozac and it FUCKED HER UP. She was suicidal by the end. This was only on 10mg if it too. Once she stopped taking it she rapidly improved. i agree to trying something else. If you need to get more serotonin try other shops. Inositol is a good try. Maybe rhodiola would be good. Or other drugs that increase BDNF (Keppra does; 7,8 dihydroxyflavone, lithium orotate. I don't recommend the last two since one is a research chem (I have tried it though), and the second one is also a serious medication) exercise is good for for BDNF as well. Intermittent fasting too.
  12. Now that I'm back on Keppra I have restarted the inositol treatment at 10g a day. Once again it is helping a lot! I believe Keppra can reduce inositol and since adding it makes me feel better, I would say the lowered inositol isn't part of the MOA for Keppra that makes me feel better. I am on day two of inositol treatment. I'll keep posting. hydroxyzine is horrible stuff and shouldn't be taken with those who have hppd. I've heard too many bad reports.
  13. That's a very important one for sure. I have methylation issues with folate and it complicates a lot of things in regards to my health.
  14. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/23639870/ "Levetiracetam but not valproate inhibits function of CD8+ T lymphocytes."
  15. Interesting. I know Keppra suppresses the immune system. Perhaps this is one of the reasons it helps. I know drugs that raise acetylcholine have really screwed me over in the past too.