K.B.Fante

Jay is correct. Science shows the earlier you take hard drugs the more susceptible you are to longterm brain damage and mental health issues. The young brain, especially during teenage years, is constantly changing and highly vulnerable. The older you are the more capable your brain is of handling foreign substances. I think your mid-20s is when the brain begins to finally develop into adulthood. Look around this board. Most people who get HPPD are young. Obviously as people grow older they do less drugs, but it's not as if everyone suddenly stops dropping acid when they hit their 30s. Again, the brain is just more resilient and stronger when you're older.

If Zoloft is making your symptoms worse you shouldn't stay on it. There are plenty of antidepressants out there, especially natural ones, that won't make your symptoms worse. If you're really depressed then you might want to keep taking them but from what I gather antidepressants won't interfere with your recovery. What will, however, is drugs. As long as you stay away from drugs and live a healthy lifestyle you'll give yourself a great chance at recovery, although it may take a while.

Mild HPPD may sound fun enough but I can assure you the last thing you want is to get full blown HPPD with DP symptoms (which it sounds like you might have already) 24-7-365 and wish you were never born in the first place. If I were you I'd take it easy on hard drugs and even weed. Sounds like you're pretty embedded in the drug culture so it might be somewhat difficult but you need to ask yourself if you want to be messed up the rest of your life or if you'd like to maybe live happily here in another 10 years when you're not doing all this crap anymore. This isn't something to mess around with -- ask a lot of veteran members of this board. Like I said, this is something that can make you wish you were never born in the first place.

Antidepressants have been proven to increase neurogenesis (the growth of new neurons) but I'm not sure about benzos. I imagine there's a possibility of overlap though... I completely agree with your assessment that the body is a healing machine, is designed to repair itself and is in a constant state of regeneration -- IF you're healthy and feed it what it wants and needs in order to complete its repairs. If you eat junk, don't exercise, never stimulate your brain and take the steps necessary to heal then you're going to have a much more difficult time getting better. I also felt better on benzos but got hooked and ended up with insomnia for months, so I have a different perspective on this. If you have great self control and want to use benzos a few time a week I don't see any problem with that, you just have to be careful and also remember to do all the other stuff necessary to heal your brain.

This was only posted a week ago: What always amazes me is the comments section, reading people who say HPPD is fun and they enjoy it. I'm happy to swap them their mild HPPD for my severe HPPD and DP-DR and see how much fun they have!

Don't get a head of yourself. There's tons of common conditions out there with the same symptoms you mentioned. I have a thyroid issue and experienced most all the symptoms you mention this past summer: numbness in my legs, twitching muscles, frequent urination, poor memory (I have totally given up reading for the last few months), and on down the line. Just schedule an appointment with a doctor to get some blood tests run before you jump to conclusions and scare yourself silly.

Great post. Wish there was more contributions like this on this forum... Pain is relative, as you say. This entire experience has totally opened my eyes up to the depths of human suffering and have made me aware of how much pain people from accross the world live with every single day. I do think HPPD ranks high amongst the most emotionally disturbing conditions you can live with (just look at how many people talk about suicide on this board), but who's to say how much worse we have it than other sufferers of mental illness? It's too difficult to quantify objectively since pain is a subjective experience but what I do know is, as you said, I wouldn't wish this on anybody. That's a phrase that's very common here and I think speaks volumes to how much pain we're in on a daily basis.

This forum is littered with recovery stories so I wouldn't worry too much about that considering you've already improved a lot. You obviously need to stay away from drugs for the rest of your life too, but again it sounds like you already know that. The only thing I'd say is just prepare yourself for perhaps not recovering as fast as you'd like. When I first got HPPD I thought it'd be a few weeks before a recovered, then the weeks turned into months and months into years. One of the most difficult parts of this whole process has been the painstakingly slow recovery rate, but now that I'm aware this is a process that takes years I'm OK with it. Just be ready in case you're recovery drags on.

Man, I dunno, sounds like you have some pretty bad symptoms. My HPPD was indescribable the first three to six months it was so bad, but I've gotten much better over the course of 21 months. There's definitely a lot of stories about people getting progressively worse, so don't feel like you're alone on that front. My first advice would be to stop all drugs -- including caffeine, cigarettes and alcohol -- and see how you feel then. I've noticed an increasing number of cases where people have talked about alcohol making their symptoms worse even after it's exited their system, so I think there's a clear connection there. I really firmly believe if your symptoms are getting worse it's because there's something your consuming that's causing them to get worse. Once you abstain from drugs for a while you also might try switching up your diet. I know people get tired of me saying this but eating healthy (eliminating gluten, added sugar, excess dairy, and eating more of a paleo-mediterranean diet) might really help you out. It's worked for me.

Just stumbled across these and thought I'd post. I or someone else may have already posted the bottom one. Good to see there's growing awareness about our conditions. Palinopsia: http://ophthalmologytimes.modernmedicine.com/ophthalmologytimes/news/palinopsia-peeking-behind-doors-visual-perception-visual-memory Visual Snow: http://ophthalmologytimes.modernmedicine.com/ophthalmologytimes/news/seeing-through-static?utm_source=TrendMD&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Opthamology_Times_TrendMD_0 More VS: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/aug/08/visual-snow-debilitating-eye-condition-doesnt-exist

Yeah, I hope I didn't sound too flippant about a very serious concern. I was just trying to cheer the OP up. I'm no longer in that place but I know how it feels. I think eating healthy, taking vitamins and exercising has helped me the most. Those things can truly change the brain and help alleviate depression longterm, not just day to day.

Pretty sure as long as you get the job done they're all effective. I've been where you're at too many times to count now. Day after day after day after day. And then another... and another... and on and on and on. Just seems like it never ends. I really think if you do everything right you can see results though: work out, eat right, fast once per week, see a therapist, meditate, learn new things, socialize, etc., etc., etc. Science is progressing at an astronomical rate. Who knows, perhaps there will be a cure a few years down the line. Don't you wanna be alive to see it!?!

Sounds like someone needs therapy. Seriously though, I used to be in the same boat (thought therapy wasn't helpful) until I tried it and it seemed to pacify a lot of my stress and problems. Therapy is proven to rewire the brain, plus it's really unhealthy to store up so much stress without digesting it. You're likely to only create more stress this way... I know how you feel otherwise though. I've had plenty of battles with suicidal ideation over the last few years. I think it's a way for my mind to deal with HPPD since there's no solution to this problem. Hang in there, try exercising more, eating better, perhaps see a therapist, and see where you're at six months down the line. My guess is even if your symptoms don't improve much you'll feel much better about your situation.

I can relate to a lot of what you've been through. I also used to be very charismatic, well spoken, etc., only to become virtually mute for large stretches at a time while dealing with this. At first I didn't have problems with slurring or finding the right words, but now that my hormones are out of whack I also struggle with that as well. Speech problems are a common symptom of brain damage so it's not like you're experiencing anything abnormal. Honestly, I think you're actually in a good position in terms of trying to heal. At such a young age your brain is more malleable and eager to repair whatever went wrong, just as long as you stay away from drugs and stress, eat healthy, etc. School can give you something to focus on, trying to get good grades and learn. Don't worry too much about what's down the road as you have plenty of time to recover. Also, try not to be concerned with what other people think of you. That's common for young people but you'll quickly realize it's also pointless and more harmful to your own happiness and well being. That said, if you've already had this for seven months chances are you're gonna have it for a while longer. Just remember that time is a powerful healer of many things and don't ever give up even when you think you've lost all hope and can't take the pain any longer. I've been there far too many times and am very happy I haven't caved in!

I only switched to glycinate because my doctor told me to. I don't think there's too much difference either way though because I felt the benefits prior to switching. Also, I never had head pressure. I started taking magnesium because I read it could help symptoms, which it did.

If I remember correctly I think citrate and glycinate are the most popular on this forum and the most widely purchased in general, but don't hold me to it! I buy glycinate at the recommendation of my naturopath and it seems to be working well although I used to buy citrate and that was very effective too. I don't think you can go wrong either way.

I have pretty similar symptoms. I have visual snow but that hardly bothers me. I also have mild afterimages (unless I look at something really bright, like the sun) but those don't bother me as much either. What's killed me over the last few years since getting HPPD is motion. My brain can't track anything that moves whatsoever and virtually everything leaves some form of a trail (LED lights, as you mention, are the absolute worst). Through dieting, exercise and drug abstinence I've made significant improvements and truth be told I'm starting to get closer to "normal" vision but I still have a ways to go. If I were you I'd stop doing drugs immediately in order to give yourself a chance at recovery.

Quite a few people have seen neurologists but I haven't heard any stories about getting definitive answers about anything. Most of the time it seems the neurologists haven't heard of HPPD (they sure don't teach it in school) and exams come back normal. That said, I'm still seeing a neurologist in a few days just to see what happens. I'll be sure to report my findings here once I'm done.

My HPPD was pretty bad when I first got it, also from LSD. I had most of the same symptoms you have as well as many others and a severe case of depersonalization. I literally thought I was dreaming every day of my life and couldn't tell what reality was anymore. The best advice I can give you is to be patient. Read up and down these boards, especially recovery stories, and stay as far away from drugs as possible. Whatever you do don't make an emotional decision about whether you want to live or die. You need to give yourself a lot of time in order to improve, years even. Just keep in mind you can recover as long as you live a healthy lifestyle, although it may take a while. Nothing in life is permanent!

I think most people here would agree that if you have HPPD you'll definitely know it. There's tons of overlap between HPPD, depersonalization, stress and anxiety, Visual Snow Syndrome, hormonal imbalances and on down the line. All of these tend to have some aspect of visual distortion or disturbances as well. It's difficult to say whether it was the LSD or other circumstances that led to your problems but of course there's a chance the LSD could have played a role. The most important thing isn't what caused your problems but how well your doing now and the steps your taking to try and life a healthier lifestyle. As long as you do that you should be OK.

Benzos have made my symptoms slightly better but they're no cure, obviously. Also, I got hooked on them and went cold turkey and couldn't sleep for a few months which was a disaster. I think benzos can be useful for stressful situations but I think people need to explore other treatment options before they risk getting hooked. As far as the new growth goes, I know antidepressants do the same thing as well. I think people are better off going with an antidepressant that doesn't worsen symptoms rather than benzos due to the health risks.

I've read up and down these forums as well as DP boards and haven't found a case of someone suffering a severe setback of any kind due to anesthesia. Seems pretty safe.

Could not agree more with regards to dogs. I got a dog about three months ago and it was the best decision I've made since getting HPPD. Pets give you purpose, take your attention away from your symptoms, allow you to establish a routine and can make you happy knowing you have something that loves you and needs you, most of all. I cannot recommend getting a dog enough. Who knows, it might even save your life!

Man, I cannot imagine what you're going through right now. I'm at 20 months of HPPD-DP/DR and I've had to claw my way inch by inch from the abyss of living hell just to get to a point where I'm OK day to day. I've thought about it before and I really think if I somehow had this happen again I might just go through with suicide considering how much I've struggled with ideation already. But that's all speculation. Perhaps I'd be more motivated to beat it again since I know how to and did it once before. I just don't ever want to put myself in a position to be there. Dealing with HPPD one time is already one time too many... From everything I've read MDMA is just about the worst drug for getting HPPD, next to acid perhaps. Those two seem to be pretty common on this board and seem to result in the most intense symptoms. Speaking of which, my symptoms are almost EXACTLY similar to what you've described. I was in an entirely different world when this first happened to me a few summers ago. It was like living inside a cartoon: 2-D vision, streamers everywhere, a total disconnection from your body and the experience of a unified self. It was all so surreal but after 20 months I've made tremendous progress and imagine that in another 20 months or so I should be well on my way to overcoming this for good. If I could offer a bit of advice, I'd suggest cleaning up your diet as much as possible, leaning towards a paleo style diet with limited to no gluten, lots of veggies, fruit, etc. Of everything I've tried nothing has helped me more than totally transforming my diet and becoming a die-hard health nut. I started my dieting about six months ago and have made more progress in that time than I did in the entire year prior. I honestly went from suicidal to being pretty content with my condition and not noticing it every single moment of every day, which is pretty huge considering I couldn't do anything without noticing it before. If you want anymore information on dieting, supplements and what's worked for me I'd be happy to send it your way. Keep your head up though mate. I really believe in the body's ability to heal (that's essentially what it does in a nutshell), especially if you provide it with the necessary fuel it needs (aka, whole, healthy food). Also, be sure to listen to your own advice and give yourself plenty of time to heal. Don't irrationally think you're doomed after a few months or even years. You might have this for a long time but this condition takes a long time to heal from so you always have to keep that in mind and never give up. Good luck though and let me know if you want any further info on good health practices.

Tough to say. I think you should be safe with stuff like that though. Lamotrigine, caffeine, alcohol, licorice root and some hardcore sleep medication are the only things that have made my symptoms noticeably worse and I always recovered within a few days after taking them. But I've been to the doctor plenty over the last six months and have had all kinds of medications and haven't had any worsening of symptoms. I think you should be alright with medicine like that.