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256

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Posts posted by 256

  1. I just wanted to share this. My little brother told me that people have asked him to do acid/mushrooms several times and every time he has said hell no because he's seen what I've been through and am still going through. Plus he has the same genes as me.

    I couldn't be more proud. Knowing that my suffering has made an impact and possibly saved someone from what we fight everyday means a lot to me. Like its not just for nothing.

  2. My visuals don't get worse. Atleast I don't think so. Really sex is the only time I can completely drown out my HPPD and not notice or think about it due to having so much other stimuli. It's like they say, God gave man two brains but only enough blood to use one at a time.

  3. ^^^^ THIS!! The lack of understanding is what pisses me off sometimes, but nothin you can do about it I guess. I hate when people talk about past experiences trying to relate too. People tell me how bad it was when their grandma died and i'm like wow I didn't know you had an infinite number of grandmas and one dies every day?! Cuz you can relate right!? Sorry I'm kindof blowing this out of proportion. To me one of the worst parts of hppd is that you're expected to keep up the charade of normality and nobody cuts you a break and some people you can't or don't wanna tell. Like my boss.

    Back on topic though it seems like you can't have a relationship with hppd unless A. You have a complete handle on it and are a normal functioning human being. B. Your gf/bf I really understanding and patient. Or C. You find someone with HPPD. I fall under category B.

  4. I forgot to mention that my floaters are due to a posterior vitrious detatchment. The doc said he had never seen floaters like mine before though...

    This leads to an interesting question. Can LSD actually damage the eye? If you have severe floaters I would reccomend seeing a retina specialist if you have the time and money.

  5. So as I have discussed earlier, my floaters are coincidental and not related to my hppd. I only see my hppd in the dark and on flat surfaces so I went to see a doc about getting a vitrectomy. He's on board but it turns out I have two retinal tears as well. I believe these to be recent because lately I have been getting split second static vision with sudden movement like standing up fast or turning my head fast. The retinal tears have to be lazered a week from wednesday then I can have my vitrectomy. If all goes well I will only be plagued by the blue shapes I see on walls and in the dark and I will have peace when i'm outdoors during the day. Lets hope all goes well.

  6. Well I mostly just reeeeaaaallly fucking hate my job. I work on an assembly line doing something I genuinely hate 8 hours a day 5 days a week and basically have a panic attack by lunch every day. It wasn't bad when I was a cable technician but then we switched to assembly line work and I can't stand it. I took a break from school to get myself together but now I just really wanna get back to school. The problem is I can't just up and quit this job because the company is not doing well and is run by some family friends so they kindof need me. Its not something I can just cut ties with. Also it's not like I can just tell my work about my hppd...

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  7. Sorry for the last post. Tried to do a quote but didn't add anything. I'm doing this on my phone. But yeah someone should make a tinder for people with hppd. Your bio should describe your symptoms, level of anxiety and depression. Meds optional haha. But I do have an awesome girlfriend now so I'm really grateful.

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