256

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256 last won the day on January 17

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  1. Maybe you stopped him from making it much worse though.
  2. I listened to the first song. Pretty peaceful and relaxing. I'll have to listen to more during work tomorrow.
  3. I just wanted to share this. My little brother told me that people have asked him to do acid/mushrooms several times and every time he has said hell no because he's seen what I've been through and am still going through. Plus he has the same genes as me. I couldn't be more proud. Knowing that my suffering has made an impact and possibly saved someone from what we fight everyday means a lot to me. Like its not just for nothing.
  4. Klonopin has such an outrageously long halflife that making adjustments like that shouldn't be a problem. Glad it went well!
  5. When I start to panic I usually listen to soothing music to calm myself down. I really like Angels and Airwaves so I listen to the song "call to arms" as my calm down song. Ironically I really like their songs titled "anxiety" and "hallucinations"... https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=wnT5rQ_eylk
  6. Recently I've had chest pains as a result of increased anxiety. To me it feels like its just my heart like no other part of my chest hurts so I thought I was having a heart attack until I looked it up and found out chest pains can be a result of anxiety.
  7. My visuals don't get worse. Atleast I don't think so. Really sex is the only time I can completely drown out my HPPD and not notice or think about it due to having so much other stimuli. It's like they say, God gave man two brains but only enough blood to use one at a time.
  8. So maybe its not completely hopeless lol. Thats awesome to hear that you guys were able to get married despite having HPPD!
  9. Hahaha I live the name. You could post your symptoms in your bio. It sounds fucked up but I would be much happier if everyday I got to wake up next to a woman as miserable as me.
  10. Sorry. Forgot I had already posted that weed comment a while ago. My bad.
  11. Also would like to note that I have had horrible depression and anxiety since puberty. It's from my mom's fucked up side of the family. Mentally speaking.
  12. If you notice that you start tripping any time you smoke weed after taking your first hallucinogen. STOP taking hallucinogens. That could have been the red flag that saved my normal life, however I was too dumb.
  13. The laser surgery went well and I'm having the flashes less often. Although they say it takes about 3 months for the retina to reweld itself. On a side note I didn't have this symptom until I started taking nortryptaline but I doubt thats causing it.
  14. ^^^^ THIS!! The lack of understanding is what pisses me off sometimes, but nothin you can do about it I guess. I hate when people talk about past experiences trying to relate too. People tell me how bad it was when their grandma died and i'm like wow I didn't know you had an infinite number of grandmas and one dies every day?! Cuz you can relate right!? Sorry I'm kindof blowing this out of proportion. To me one of the worst parts of hppd is that you're expected to keep up the charade of normality and nobody cuts you a break and some people you can't or don't wanna tell. Like my boss. Back on topic though it seems like you can't have a relationship with hppd unless A. You have a complete handle on it and are a normal functioning human being. B. Your gf/bf I really understanding and patient. Or C. You find someone with HPPD. I fall under category B.
  15. My doc let me try pheno and it works wonders on anxiety for me. No meds actually reduce my symptoms so its all about managing anxiety and depression for me. I will be transitioning soon and hopefully all will go well. I still have Xanax for panic attacks. Ps. I was anxiety/panic attack prone before hppd so I have a rough time with it.