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TheGman6072 last won the day on January 2 2016

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About TheGman6072

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  • Birthday 10/17/1998

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  1. Well I meant that most of my symptoms are gone but the ones that are still there seem to be getting worse :/ ! Plus, I'm fine now but I actually posted this the day after I smoked a shit ton of weed and I was feeling super depressed because I smoked too much. I'm fine with smoking weed once or twice a month. I've actually been better off smoking once a month than just being completely sober.
  2. My symptoms only seem to be getting worse and worse Next time my friends see me, I'll probably be in the back of a hearse
  3. And I just passed my driving test !
  4. Yep it's one of the trippiest movies I've ever seen
  5. Wow it has been a while and the site has been dead ! So for the past (almost) four months, my HPPD has drastically declined. I noticed how much my HPPD had been reduced after taking Hydroxyzine a few times. Only noticeable symptoms are walls and the floor appearing to breathe or melt when I have my eyes fixed on something. I just gotta keep my eyes constantly moving. While driving, if I just keep my eyes fixed on the road, the road will start twisting around and breathing so I have to always be looking around at all of my surroundings. I started learning how to drive a couple months ago and I am a pretty good driver. I thought my HPPD was going to make it impossible but it's actually easy and I'm a better driver than my mother. I rarely smoke weed anymore. Last time was about a month ago and I most likely won't be smoking again anytime soon because I don't want to risk it driving while stoned. I saw the Doctor Strange movie and that movie was so trippy. I actually got triggered by that movie and almost had a panic attack because the effects were so similar to my HPPD symptoms and the visuals I used to see on LSD, and Benadryl. My life at this point is pretty chill. I rarely have anxiety now but the anxiety did get replaced with something else. I easily get angry, annoyed and agitated. I have learned to accept Depersonalization and to me, it's not really a big deal to me anymore i accepted it. The constant autopilot mode actually feels kind of enjoyable sometimes especially during school. That's "Constantly being zoned out (but fully conscious)" feeling actually seems to make time go by faster Let's get this site running again !
  6. I took it like 3 times before posting this, then again about a month ago. My HPPD is like 95% gone. Idk if the hydroxyzine had anything to do with it though but it went away like right after my 4th time taking it
  7. 200-300 isn't much but EVERY NIGHT ?! Jesus Christ I used to do like 400mg and most recently, 550mg but only every once in a while
  8. Wtf did you do ?
  9. I was wondering if anyone has tried hydroxyzine ? I might get myself prescribed this in the future when I'm 18 as I heard it helps a lot with anxiety
  10. I have been seeing blue, green and sometimes red floating around or flashing at me for quite a while now but this visual snow with millions of tiny blue dots is new to me. I've always had visual snow since the beginning of my HPPD but not like this
  11. So my visual snow has changed to the point where it's also mixed in with some blue dots as well ! Anybody else have this ?
  12. Yep it's pretty scary dealing with shit like this and very hard too
  13. No I don't like being bombarded with all the counseling. Me and the friend who also took the Benadryl are going to try best to stay sober and start having fun without drugs.
  14. No I don't like being bombarded with all the counseling. Me and the friend who also took the Benadryl are going to try best to stay sober and start having fun without drugs.
  15. I did a good job at staying sober for a good 8 months but my addict mentality is still there. For the past few months, I planned to strictly stick to smoking weed only and nothing else. A couple nights ago, that quickly changed. I was with a few friends and they were all stoned as shit but I wasn't. One of them thought it would be a good idea to get some Benadryl (diphenhydramine) and trip. We were planning on only having one person trip and I was going to be the trip sitter but then they were telling me that I should take some too. I normally do a good job at staying away from this kind of shit but once I got my hands on that bottle, I was screwed. I swallowed 22 pills (550 milligrams) and the trip was pretty scary and one of my worst experiences on this drug. I had forgotten how evil this drug was until now since it has been a year since the last time I used it. When 2 of my friends left, it was only me and the other guy who had taken 16 pills (400 milligrams). I was laying on my friend's tripping balls and hallucinating. I was not enjoying this trip cuz usually I was able to tell whether things were real or a hallucination but this time, I couldn't tell the difference and it was freaking me out My dad ended up calling me (I'm surprised I was still able to know how to use a phone while this fucked up) and he could instantly tell I was fucked up by the sound of my slurred voice and I was barely talking. Then my mom called me soon after and told me to get home immediately. She then comes to my friend's house and picks me up and calls my friend's dad. She took me to the emergency room..... TOTALLY UNNECESSARY ! I had only taken 550mg and that's not anywhere near enough to kill a person my size (150 LBs). All they did was do a bunch of tests, stick needles in me and ask me questions and I was there until 2:30am and nothing was accomplished. All they did was send me home still tripping balls. I would have been fine if my mom would have just let me go home and fall asleep to sleep it off. All this ER visit did was piss me off. Next day, i get told by another friend that the other person who took the Benadryl was planning to kill himself so I ended up spending half the day going back and forth with his parents freaking out because I thought I was about to lose one of my good friends to suicide. Luckily he is fine now but this whole thing was a huge wake up call. We both agreed to start staying sober and stop hanging out with those two stoners because they were the reason we had started doing drugs again and we know how to have fun without being high. This trip reminded me of how bad these drugs are. My dp/dr and hppd of course have gotten worse but my dp/dr is now worse than ever. I have been panicking, having psychotic thoughts go through my head, my body feels soar, and I have very little appetite. As i am typing, I am very unstable and I have no idea what's going to happen to me in the next few months. I am worried about the fact that my chances of recovery are fucked just because of very stupid decisions. I managed to stay away from drugs but my addict mentality never left. This experience made me realize that I need to stay away from this shit