epicnicitysimplicity

Members
  • Content count

    6
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

1 Neutral

3 Followers

About epicnicitysimplicity

  • Rank
    New Member
  1. Hey, I'm doing a little better. The eyes are still annoying and some days the brain fog is really bad. But I think I'm happier. It's been a year already. Idk how you've been dealing with it for over 40 years!!
  2. I keep asking God to forgive me and heal me but it just isn't happening. Feel like I'm going to shoot myself in the fucking head.

    1. Megan

      Megan

      no oh my gosh!! please do not do that. you just need to be persistent okay! please message me, I will listen to anything you have to say. suicide is definitely not the only option, nor the best one!

  3. I'm not sure how to reply yet but actually I don't live in Afg, was born in the states and still live here. But thanks for your reply! I'm going to try water fasting for detox from even junk food like chips and candy and try to spoonful of turmeric a day and maybe even just have fish oils and spinach because it's mainly the visuals that bug me a ton. As for coke, 5 months clean and craving but I'll have to do without it until the snow goes away or even forever. Just wish I didn't crave this much and actually cared about addiction recovery more than the hppd recovery so I can go back to old ways and recreational use. But I'm keeping strong, this site helps a lot. Had another panic attack tonight but I'll be fine in time. Thank you so much
  4. Today the anxiety hit me really hard and I'm crying as I'm typing this. I don't want to be dramatic but this is the only place I can talk to people about this. Something reminded me how much my family doesn't understand and I don't know why they jump to conclusions. My mom constantly nags me. I know she means well, it's just really stressful. It always ends in me yelling, "I can't see!!!" And she doesn't get that. I'm so tired of this. Only 7 months in this hellhole but it's just really getting to me. DR and visuals have been hitting me harder. My dreams are a complete blur and the drowning feeling is growing. Anyone know if turmeric helps? We put a lot of it in our food since I'm Afghan and just wanted to know if it helps with the healing of the brain. Also, thinking of getting a catscan and is it worth the money? Maybe the doctors can help? Worst part is I'm really craving coke and pills.
  5. I smoked a lot of weed, maybe 9 bowls and drank a bunch and then xanax and meth. I've heard weed causes it but ever since then I've been like this and I'm so sure I have hppd. Thanks for your response.
  6. I don't really think I have anyone to talk about this stuff with. HPPD has taken over my life for almost 6 months. The visual symptoms have completely turned my life upside-down and no one understands. I spend days crying and I feel like I'm drowning. I had just graduated high school on June 12th and went to Disneyland on the 13th with my class. On the 14th, a friend and I partied way too hard and mixed multiple drugs and I had woken up with the visual symptoms and the rest was history... Until I realized this was more serious. I have 20/20 vision. My eyes have been tested recently and they are the same number. However, I have visual snow, see halos, shadows, and after images. I cannot handle it anymore. I can't tell my parents, I had to drop all my college classes too and it was my first semester. I am so close to choosing to end my life, I feel so suffocated. On top of that, I am a recovering coke addict and I know I can't use anything if I want any chance of recovery from HPPD. I just feel so alone, will the visuals eventually disappear?
  7. Visuals are the most straining.. ehhh