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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum


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Everything posted by boozebome

  1. boozebome

    Anyone know where David Kozin went?

    There won't be a cure in 5-10 years most probably. Only if we achieve some kind of singularity in which most problems can be solved.. but if we keep at the same speed then most probably we won't have a cure in even 40 years. How much has changed since 2003 for HPPD? I would say almost nothing. Why would be expect to change much in the next 10-20 years? A self-inflicted mental problem which occurs to a very small amount of people who is unlucky enough. There is bigger fish to fry. Exercise, diet, maybe some supplements, therapy, treating comorbid problems like depression or anxiety, mindfulness, maybe medication, acceptance.. There isn't much more you can do. I also have constant suicidal thoughts, but I would say that that is because of depression rather than HPPD. So many years lost. Best of luck.
  2. boozebome

    Is there a point of no return?

    I think that sobriety is important. I didn't recover until I stopped doing drugs, including alcohol and even coffee. I started doing drugs a few months ago and now the HPPD has worsened but I know that with sobriety I will recover again.
  3. boozebome

    I shoul be happy

    Fucked pretty hard with drugs lately. Like a lot. The HPPD didn't worsen much though...
  4. boozebome

    I shoul be happy

    Maybe try mindfulness meditation. 20 minutes every day should be enough.
  5. boozebome

    My symptoms

    HPPD. Continue being abstinent and lead a healthy life. Most probably it will all pass soon enough.
  6. boozebome


    I'm sorry but I didn't understand much.
  7. boozebome

    A small piece of heart advice

    You're right. If you allow me can I do a TL;DR ? -------------------------- Focusing on the HPPD will make nothing but increase your symptoms and maybe even create new ones. Identifying yourself with HPPD will make it more difficult to grow out of it. HPPD is one of the many events that could have happened in your life, some are better and some are worse. Maybe that night a beautiful girl could have blown you, or maybe the friend who was driving you home crashed and killed you all. HPPD takes time, but it improves. And even if it doesn't, you learn how to live with it. Think of all the people with debilitating diseases that keep fighting, do it yourself too! ---------------------------
  8. boozebome

    Hello all

    You fucked up, not your friend. If it had been a marvelous experience, which is in most cases, then nothing would have happened. It's perfectly ok if you resent him and you decided to cut the relationship.. but he is not at fault at all. You drug use is minimal. I have done five times what you did in your life in the course of a weekend. You had bad luck, don't even look at drugs. You seem to be especially sensitive or have some kind of latent problem. Keep it up with the sobriety and go eat the World!
  9. I was sober till I went to a party with the wrong people.. and the cues were too much. That was some months ago. Now I'm in the process of recovery: Naltrexone for the cravings and blocking all the people who take drugs. I know it's possible! For almost all of 2016 I was sober. There are groups for alcoholics and addicts in the city where I live, but I just can't be bothered. I know that Naltrexone plus separating myself from the people and places where I can find or promote drugs use is sufficient.
  10. Thiamine Cocarboxylase seems to work. I tried lot of things, that did it's job. Yes, we don't have any randomized study and it's just anecdotal evidence but give it a fucking try. Exercise? For that one there is real evidence that it can help. Meditation? Maybe. Finish high school, study some 2 year trade job and don't go to University, and look for a fucking job. Electrician, painter.. Those aren't going to be substituted by robots nor AI. I'm no psychiatrist. Maybe you have HPPD, maybe you're schizophrenic, maybe you have depression or some personality disorder. Maybe all of them. I don't care much. Do whatever you want. Here we most know what we have to do to advance and not continue fucking up. I know, you know, he knows. Get out of your bed and start being proactive about your life. Props for not taking drugs for 2 years, you're already more responsible than me.
  11. boozebome

    Best way to kill myself?

    Jay you can delete my post or even the topic. It's for you to decide. My personal philosophy doesn't consider suicide something bad. Sometimes it is the best course of action, most of the time there is a brighter future ahead.
  12. boozebome

    HPPD sucks

    I'm 22 and yes, drinking greatly affects my HPPD. More than MDMA or LSD. Yes, I did pull hard courses while dealing with HPPD. My recommendation is to not drink *at all* and continue not taking drugs. Exercise, meditate, try thiamine cocarboxylase (cheap and it has worked for many of us, there is a thread in this forum), abstain completely from drugs/alcohol, wait.. and then, you start improving. It's not linear improvement most of the time, I remember one day I just woke up and most of the HPPD wasn't there. I have been with HPPD for 5 years and as far as you don't fuck up with drugs it's mostly a safe bet that it will improve or even disappear given enough time.
  13. boozebome

    Best way to kill myself?

    I'm thinking about doing the same if I fall again into addiction and I'm not able to recover. I recommend you to wait. I don't know how long your recovery has been but for me it took 1 year abstinent to actually feel like I was fine. Have you tried Naltrexone? B Complex? Keppra? Wellbutrin? CBT? Meditation? Magnesium? I would probably go for a mix of Clonazolam and U-47700.
  14. I'm also doing an Engineering and fucked up around your age. My first year, with HPPD, was pretty successful academically so I continued taking drugs... Second year was a total failure and it took me two years to recover and feel confident again in my capabilities. I should have finished last year but I'm finishing this one, not bad at all but certainly not what I was expecting. Continue abstaining and don't ever go back to using drugs. For me alcohol was a big problem and it messes my HPPD more than MDMA. Please, don't fuck up your future. Consider going to a psychologist or psychiatrist. Take a look at CBT if you don't want to go to a professional. I assure you that time and healthy habits is all you need. Meditation, CBT, healthy food, exercise, study, socialization.. Even if you don't feel confident, get out there and go for it. Good luck!! I'm starting again because I messed up and got totally into drugs for 4 months.
  15. I fucked up with drugs. My HPPD which I had recovered almost completely is now slightly bad. I'm suffering with addiction and I will start taking medication and maybe look for some external help. Basically, drugs ruin your life even if the HPPD doesn't worsen. I feel like a fool and I'm completely ashamed of myself.
  16. I come here to say that I messed up completely after having recovered. More than one year abstinent and I took MDMA one day.. Nothing happened. Fast forward the last four months I have been taking drugs and alcohol like 2-3 times per week. MDMA, 2cb, cocaine, speed, a lot of alcohol, marihuana... The HPPD is worse, but not as bad as it was in my worst.. not even near. The problem now is not HPPD. The problem is that I'm a fucking addict and I messed up. I can't stop. I need Naltrexone. If I don't stop now I will probably commit suicide in one or two months. I can't stand this anymore. I'm completely ashamed of myself. But Naltrexone fucking works. I take it for a few weeks or even months and the cravings and addiction dissapears. This time I just won't lose. I won't go to any situation in which there is alcohol or drugs. I won't befriend with anyone that takes drugs or gets drunk weekly. And if I have, I will take Naltrexone so I know there is no risk.
  17. boozebome


    I experienced that for short amount of time in my worst moments. It remitted along most other symptoms due to abstaining and living a healthy life.
  18. boozebome

    Thiamine Cocarboxylase

    A few months without visiting the forums.. Well, my supply of Thiamine Cocarboxylase ran out and I decided to try a few other Vitamin B1 (thiamin) substances. Today I took 500mg of thiamin hcl and 300mg of benfotiamine. The reduction of symptoms is around 60% both mentally and visually. I was already in a non-disorder area, so this is the last nail in the coffin. During the daylight I don't notice any disturbance at all, but I do in my home and with night lights. This has been a lifesaver, even relapsing to alcohol a few months ago. To anyone suffering from HPPD I urge them to give this a try, the cost is 20$ (for three-four months) and the risk is non-existent. B-Complex with Thiamine Cocarboxylase 500mg Vitamin B1 Benfotiamine 300mg
  19. For me it does in the medium-term, plus I'm very sensitive to it. I remember sniffing it and not doing almost anything some years ago, but nowadays even a coffee affects me.
  20. For me amphetamines never made it a lot worse, and I'm talking about abusing them. Longer trails, better state of mind. I suppose that in the correct dosages they may be useful.
  21. boozebome

    I Quit Smoking Weed

    Whatever. I simply know that I wouldn't exchange myself with you even if I were paid 5 million euros.Tell us, how is your life? Anything going on? I'm not trying to diminish you, just saying that before recommending something you better are sitting over a good quantity of value. You say they are not a problem, but your life is, apparently, shit. And you delude yourself into thinking that drugs don't do anything negative, despite all the evidence.
  22. boozebome

    I Quit Smoking Weed

    Misread in the phone.
  23. boozebome

    I Quit Smoking Weed

    I kept playing with fire. More than one year doing drugs in a hard way after the onset of HPPD.. Recovered in weeks. Since then I didn't do as many drugs as I was trying to stop.. It's more than 7 months completely sober and in some ways I'm worse than my two weeks recovery back then. Basically, you never know when you cross the line. Maybe you do drugs every couple days for a year and you recover fast. Then you do them every couple months, and those last ones fuck you over. My point, stop while you can and get your shit together. If you don't you may find you won't be able to get it ever. Trust us, don't delude yourself. We were you, and maybe a lot worse. Delete the number of your friends who do drugs, don't talk to people about drugs or Hppd, continue with your life..
  24. Mental problems are certainly physical.

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