tomsk8

Why anti psychotics umit? Do you suffer from psycosis?

I did the Ayahuasca, it was cool but it didn't fixed me. This is not our psychology that's fucked, it's are neurons, like brain trauma. I figured that out with Ayahuasca. Well, psychological problems like depression, anxiety come with the decease.

Thanks K.B. but I really thought about this and I took a decision. I know it's not prudent to post suicide methods here. If someone wants to help me please send me an inbox.

You can speak to my by inbox Mr.50's, but believe me, I've tried everything in the past 12 years. I'm not looking for "don't do this messages", I think everyone has the right to choose when to end their lives and believe me, this is the most rational decision at this point of my life and I wont be harming anyone. I'm trying to get pentobarbital or any of this medicines used for euthanasia, can someone help me out please.

Hi, I don't even feel like writing much right now. I want to know witch is the easiest, most peaceful way to commit suicide. I took a serious decision about ending my life. I was looking for nitrogen tanks but they are extremely expensive. Please help me, are there any pills that can guarantee a peaceful death? I think euthanasia is a right for everyone, you just know when you have suffered enough. Thanks

After 12 years of this shit I think the best option is suicide, honestly. Sorry

Missjess got cured with Ayahuasca, I think

So you didnt kill yourself, thats good

Please tell us how it went for you. I have the same theory as you, but apparently is not a very good idea.

Do you think it could go wrong some how? People go there with mental illnesses and get a cure, why not me? I see this as my last hope. I'm looking for a moment like this, a moment of relieve, an epiphany:

So I tried Keppra, didnt work for me. I'm going to do an Ayahuasca ceremony, its do are die at this point.

Have you tried Keppra?

I never took meds until know. I'm in crisis because I broke up with my girlfriend. I'm taking Paxil, antidepressant. I take benzodiazepines sometimes on the weekends to sleep well, because my mom use that. Other than that, the only thing that makes me feel good is skateboarding (or exercise in general) and sex. In any other moment I feel like I'm living in a dream, numbed, disconnected, with no emotions and with anxiety, mostly with social interaction.

Ok, I believe you. So, we are fucked.

So you believe is all chemical? Not psychological. When I took the microdot another friend took it with me. He is OK, but he was 22 I think, so what happened? He has a strong brain? Did it really fucked up my brain neurologically? I don't want to believe that.

Man, we have exactly the same symptoms. There is got to be a cure. The truth is I'm also fascinated by psychedelics but I'm mad that this happened to me. I remember the first time we took mushrooms with my friends, we were in nature and we were crying of happiness, it was awesome. What bothers me the most are the obsessive thoughts, is like I always got to have something going on in my mind, it can not be blank for a second, and I cant really control them, does this happen to you? Maybe clouding of consciousness would be more accurate. Also, do you know how many milligrams of acid usually contain a microdot? There is got to be a cure. Maybe one day we will wake up and everything will be back to normal, just maybe.

Wow, sorry to hear that. Why physical pain? I was convinced that LSD couldn't damage your brain. Do you have any article of that? Don't you have hope that someday you will find a cure? Do you hate drugs and drug culture the same as I do? I think is just stupid, nothing good come out of drugs. People try to mystify psychedelics, like Timothy Leary did, well... fuck him. There is nothing better than sobriety.

Do you really think is all chemical? LSD is one of the safest drugs physiologically. The damage it can produce is psychological, so this is treatable. There is no brain damage as it happens with cocaine, crack and others, so, I believe there must be a cure. Don't you think so? Other question, if you want to answer... are you happy?

Yes, that is why people say you should try psychedelics when you're 22 at least... FUCK. Do you go to therapy? What have you done to overcome this? The truth is, that I'm not sure if I want to live a life like this. I'm totally functional thought, I graduated from college and work as a Web Designer just as you do, but my problem is with social interaction. Last thing, FUCK DRUGS and FUCK ALBERT HOFFMAN.

Thanks Jay, I've never talked to someone with same issues that I have. I want to ask you more questions... I remember that when I got back from my bad trip I knew everything had changed, permanently. I felt it in the core of my soul. It was then that I had a panic attack, and a week later I started having my obsessive thoughts. The things is, that I did it in such a young age, where I should have built my personality. But with this issue I feel like I failed to make the transition in to an adult, I just don't know who I am, like if I don't have a personality. This caused in me a social anxiety, lost a lot of friends, is hard to get a girlfriend, and believe me... I was quite the opposite of this. I really, really fucked my life. That little microdot fucked my life for ever.

But you tried MDMA when you already had HPPD? I did MDMA twice after my bad trip and it was wonderful but I didn't do it for a therapeutic purpose, that's why I was considering it. As I see it, this whole thing started as a trauma from a bad trip, so it could be associated with PTSD, and so... be cured with MDMA assisted psychotherapy. What did you feel when you used MDMA? I'm just trying to find some options here, as my whole purpose in life right know it to get well and be happy. How you heard the expression "he got stuck on the trip"? do you think that's what happened to us?

What about MDMA, I think is a much lighter drug and I always enjoyed it very much. Take a look at this: I also want to know what other symptoms you have. HPPD is not just about weird visuals, right? I started suffering from anxiety the day after my bad trip and obsessive thoughts. Then later depression. Do you suffer the this things?

Thanks Jay, I also think about this "I would have been a much better person, bla bla bla" but the reality is that I don't know. I probably would have continued doing drugs and I wouldn't have graduated from college and I wouldn't be working and being independent as I am. I also practice skateboarding, this saved my live. And I'm pretty good at it too. Question, I always had amazing, beautiful trips on mushrooms. I don't know why, but I always considered a good mushroom trip for my salvation. I know this doesn't sound like a good idea, but have you heard of MAPS? http://maps.org/ What do you think about this?

1995? Wow man, a long time. What other symptoms do you have? I think I have anxiety, depression and also some OCD for sure, I can't control my thoughts. How much acid does a microdot usually contain? Man, why was I so stupid? I would be normal and happy if it wasn't for that shit, now I feel suicidal.

Hi, I did all kinds of drugs when I was 15 years old. Nothing bad happened until I did an LSD microdot and had a bad trip. From that day on my life was ruined. I feel stuck on the visuals and feelings I had that day, which is kind of like a nightmare. I want to know if there are any effective drugs to calm this symptoms. Thanks