iHaveSeenEvil

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iHaveSeenEvil last won the day on March 20 2015

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  1. This video was awesome! I mean, it's a shitty topic, but you did a great job with it. I wish you the best!
  2. Well for one, stop smoking weed. Anxiety and paranoia are extremely common things that people suffering with HPPD deal with. Although there are many claims that HPPD is permanent, I've seen and read about a lot of cases where people's symptoms have entirely cleared up. Yes, it does take some time, anywhere from 3 months to 2 years, or even more. Me for example, I used to have horrendous HPPD issues and now I feel normal again. Visuals are gone, Depersonalization is entirely gone, and I rarely deal with Derealization issues. I had Derealization and dissociation problems before I developed HPPD, though. My anxiety has almost entirely diminished too. It took about 4 months before the edge of my HPPD stopped, it's been slowly dissipating over the last 4 months. (It's been 8 months total for me). You say you "worry [your]self in ways [you] never have before", that sounds exactly like what I dealt with. It was really scary at first cause everything felt so different and weird. You'll find ways to cope with this as it heals. The worrying, or at least for me, has gone away. Also, be careful with over-researching symptoms; it made me think I had issues that I never had. Either way, what I suggest what you do is remain sober, at least for 3-6 months and see how you feel after that. Even then, I would be careful with what you take. I would 100% recommend against ANYTHING psychedelic or dissociative forever. Never use one again, or you'll completely risk making this worse or permanent. Live life as you always have. You may want to find stress-relieving techniques for yourself. Anxiety and HPPD seem to go hand in hand. Reduce anxiety/stress and HPPD symptoms are not as sharp. Yoga, meditation, exercise, whatever you fancy. It'll help. Get enough sleep, don't stress yourself out or put your brain through rough patches- also I advise to be careful about your caffeine intake, that shit would make me freak out pretty badly. Too much coffee had a direct link to having panic attacks. I hope this helps! Feel free to reply/message me if you have any questions!
  3. Originally I was too nervous to drive at all, then I was able to collect myself and drive anxiety free. Towards the first few months I was having issues with the "Alice in Wonderland Effect" or whatever that "micropsia" shit is, objects looked smaller or further away than they were. It was difficult determining just how far away a car was. I also would just give myself serious anxiety over everything, which is never good to have while driving. All of this has pretty much diminished and I never notice it anymore, the only time I do is when I trick myself into thinking that it's happening. Like a placebo effect. So it started off really terribly, like fucking terribly, and now it's gotten so, so much better. Hope this helps.
  4. I know this wasn't directed at me, but it's been six months since since I developed HPPD, and towards the beginning weed would infinitely boost up my symptoms to a hellish level, even a slight second hand high from being in the same room as someone smoking. I recently caught a slight high from people passing a blunt around a car and it didn't have the ramifications it used to, at all. It seems as though I'm able to withstand it much better than before in terms of HPPD. Binge drinking excessively has the chance to give me DPDR issues the next day and hard liquor sometimes give me slight tracers still, but having a few beers will do nothing. Before I used to get really, really bad tracers and colors would sorta morph, to the point where I had issues playing hacky sack. It's nothing like that anymore =) Just figured I'd share this. ^.^
  5. I know this question wasn't targeted at me but when I would catch a secondhand high from weed I would be blasted into HPPD/visual distortion/DPDR hell for the next few days. Like my vision would be REALLY fucked. Alice in Wonderland effect out the fucking ass.
  6. Wolfred89... There are ways to prevent a "bad trip", such as environment, stress free factors, good and trustworthy friends with tripping experience. BUT there is no way to prevent HPPD. HPPD is a neurological mindfuck, and none of us are sure why we developed it, other than the obvious drug use. Your brain is either going to feel the effects of the drug and then return to normal OR it's going to rewire itself into the drug's effect and not go away. If you read through this site you will see all the severely negative life-altering effects psychedelics can cause. While HPPD is very rare, you now understand the risks. Developing HPPD will cause infinite amounts of psychological issues. You have been warned. While abuse definitely contributes, HPPD can happen from one time. I've taken a handful of psychedelics before and was totally fine. Zero visual or DPDR after effects. 1/8th of shrooms and my world was fucked. Yes, one motherfucking eighth. Also, about #3 I agree. I took shrooms, coke, Xanax, weed and alcohol all in one night. I smoked a few cigs, but I'm not gonna count that. But... that was when I developed it. I've mixed a ton of drugs before, but the one time with shrooms was what did it for me. My HPPD was very reminiscent of shrooms. One of my closest friends had HPPD, which has now subsided over the past 2 years (he had visuals, DPDR, cognitive issues, the whole fucking sort), but he mixed coke with acid and developed HPPD. Maybe mixing coke with psychedelics leads to a higher chance of getting HPPD?
  7. For a while I felt autistic and schizophrenic. Conversations with people made no sense, and I couldn't make sense of the world... or fucking anything for the matter. I thought for sure that I had triggered some deep seeded issue that was only going to show more of its hideous face as I grew old and senile. I don't feel that way anymore. It's all almost entirely gone and I am positive I did not set myself up for later brain disorders when I'm older. This was all just a temporary (5 months) mindfuck caused by psychedelics.
  8. I've had issues with breathing as well. I am like 100% certain that our breathing issues are a direct result of anxiety. HPPD and anxiety are best fucking friends.
  9. That happened to me a lot during my initial onset. Often times things laying on the ground looked like a dead body. Ugh.
  10. The seroquel was prescribed to me by a psychiatrist when I was having extremely severe insomnia. I wasn't able to sleep for days at a time, and even nights I did get sleep it was insanely restless and poor. (This was all pre-HPPD). I feel comfortable taking that in moderation because it was given to me by a doctor. I also take between 1/8 and 1/4 of what is prescribed. I do also try not to take it much because I have the same issues as your ex-fiance with turning into a total zombie.
  11. It happened to me from shrooms and it took me about 4 days to realize something was wrong.I had an awkward afterglow the next day or two after which I didn't like, and I actually felt totally fine the third day, but then randomly it kicked in super hard. But yes, mine was pretty continuous from my trip. It's interesting that yours showed up 5 months later. Has it gotten any better within that time? I've had it for as long as you, but I feel pretty damn normal now. It's the biggest relief I've ever felt in my life.
  12. Anxiety/anxiety attacks will cause massive confusion of perception. HPPD fuels from anxiety. I think you just may be having static hallucinations- where you're expecting them to happen even though they're not. You could just be experiencing a placebo effect. Either way, I would ultimately not take a psychedelic again. Also, I would recommend finding ways to reduce stress in your life. Reducing stress and anxiety is crucial to feeling better. I truly believe if you tackle the anxiety and stop worrying about it then it will go away.
  13. I think all HPPD comes in different forms. There are so many different types of symptoms and each of them significantly vary. As I read through this site I frequently hear about new symptoms. Also, most of them are confusing as hell so it's a little bit hard to pinpoint what exactly we're experiencing. People could describe the same exact symptom in a handful of different ways. Also, ghosting is essentially like having double vision.
  14. I had that flat, or 2D vision you're talking about. I agree with jimmyb84 in saying that sounds more like a depersonalization/derealization symptom, more specifically derealization. After about 3-4 months mine started going away and now I don't have that issue anymore. (I developed HPPD 5 and a half months ago.) Sounds like blake also had the same experience as me, just slightly longer. Give it time and be patient. It will ease up and eventually go away. Just remember that.
  15. During my onset cigarettes caused me have a spike in visual disturbances. They do not seem to do that to me anymore, but I would cut the smoking if it's causing you issues. It's also a lot better for your general well-being.