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Jay1 last won the day on March 25

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  1. No need to quit, but just moderate it. Glad to hear you are veg... i'm vegan (I still eat doritos and oreos here and there though)
  2. Yes, my doctor prescribes Clonazepam. It works well for me, but note that I only take it 1-4 days per week, always with at least 3 days in a row without taking any, to clean out my system... This seems to stop any tolerance and addiction.
  3. Bad food, eg, alot of junk food, processed garbage with too much sugar and salt. I found that fixing the things i could, like my physical health, helped me to start fixing some parts of my mental health too...
  4. It sounds like you are doing alot of things right... Going sober is 100% the way to go and telling your mum was a smart move, even if she is having a hard time understanding... At least she knows if you want to start heading down the medication route. Have you tried cutting other things out, like caffeine? bad food? anything else causing you stress? have you tried exercise? How did you get hppd?
  5. 1000 mics, damn! I think 350 was about my highest dose and that was insane (though I was at Glastonbury festival, so the insanity was intensified quite a bit!) I did have 900 of our UK magic mushrooms once though, which I can only imagine the comparable LSD dose must be in the 1000s... That was the only time I really had a complete ego loss (salvia aside) and not something I would equate to fun or in anyway insightful... Just way, way too strange!
  6. It takes a hell of alot for someone to notice if another person has a mental disorder... When it is something like psychosis, it can be easy enough to spot, but depression, anxiety, even tripping out with hppd... unless you are speaking crazy nonsense, people just don;t notice.. They might think you are shy maybe... but probably not even that. People have their own shit going on and just don;t notice. It's a bit of a relief once it clicks... I really thought that people must be able to see it in my eyes, which would then make my social anxiety even worse. Now I get that people are not gonna be looking for problems when I am chatting to them, it chills me out. I even have people commenting how relaxed I always am, easy to talk to... Makes me laugh, as inside i am a wreck! and yea, I am sure alot of shit is being sold as LSD these days... I tried LSA once and it was much dirtier and felt toxic. These research chems must be a fucking minefield.
  7. I was watching a documentary this weekend about the makers of the orange sunshine LSD, sounds like the doses were very strong back then. (that was the late 60s, of course, but I am sure the strength was similar). One of the guys accidentally dosed himself with 2000 micro grammes... What a trip! I remember when I first started taking LSD, the urban myth was that you could get a permatrip, which I am sure must be related to people getting hppd, much like the phrase acid burnout was. It is surprising that so few people seem to report the hppd symptoms from the 60s/70s. I wonder, was LSD use spread out more? I also guess that the doctors back then would have very little sympathy for anyone coming in with problems caused by lsd... Probably, like yourself, alot of people had to just dig deep and get on with their life. I still have an affinity for LSD, I think it was my soul drug. Alot of people here understandably hate it (I have a similar hatred for mdma), but I can only imagine how transcending and groundbreaking it must have felt back in the late 60s, early 70s.
  8. Welcome to the board MadDoc... It's great to see people finding the forum again after the problems we had with the server in 2016. I think you now hold the unlucky title of the longest running hppd sufferer on here. Did you hear of many people with this condition back in the 70s? Once I started to chat about this with other people from my 90s rave days, I was surprised how common it was to have at least some minor visual symptoms for months/years after the drugs stopped. Would be interested to hear how it was in the late 60s, early 70s.
  9. I think one of the great positives for me, firstly with lsd use, and then even hppd, has been my empathy for others has increased greatly, especially natural life, animals etc... the flipside is i now constantly worry about how other people are feeling, the plight of the planet, of animal suffering etc!... But I still think that it is a better, more positive way of thinking and it gives me some goals that i can go out and achieve. If I ever were to be cured of hppd, that compassionate mindset would stay with me... As well as mental resilience beyond all recognition of how I would have been if i had coasted through life. I also like that I am no longer in pursuit of material possessions or the need to impress anyone. Destroying your ego can have some positives, no doubt Maybe I would have developed this way without hppd, but I think it is now cemented in my personality.
  10. I do think there is a possible link... My wife gets migraines 2-3 times a month and she gets auras, starbursting, trails etc before an onset. I'm not particularly great with the science stuff, but did read up some stuff about intra cranial pressure that could be a possible cause for migraine onset and may have some links to hppd... I read an anecdotal report of people having some hppd relief after giving blood or losing blood, which might have some links to ICP.
  11. You are right about the people who came off worse in the drugs scene, i also have a friend who has a deep psychosis from mdma use and it really has crippled his life in ways that i couldn't imagine, he is constantly in and out of mental homes... for all of my inner sufferering, i can still function, earn a living, have a caring wife etc... so need to remember that more and be grateful.
  12. Sorry... i dont want to hijack the thread as i truely do believe that a positive outlook is an amazing thing and can really help.... I've always battled and fought to have some semblance of a normal life and only through positivity and determination has that happened.
  13. Well... hppd has varying degrees of severity too, just like any mental disorder... i dont allow hppd to define me... i have my own business, a wife.. I've travelled the world, lived in foreign countries etc etc... but in no way has it made me stronger... I'm a shell of my old self and suffer to an extent that it is simply hellish. Personally, i'd take on most any other illness... crippling physical pain.. terminal cancer... I'd cut off both arms... I'd happily be blind in exchange for mental wellness.
  14. While, I agree that a positive outlook is the key... I do want to give some balance and say that not every hppd long termer ends up with a happy, peaceful life... Anyone here that has known me for a while knows that i am positive and don't have any self blame or self loathing.. it's 100% the way to go and is a healing factor.. but while my life, on paper, has been good and I do get some enjoyment out of life.... I can't say that I have been really happy or at peace for a single day in 20+ years of this, it takes a fair effort to just get through every day without succumbing to anxiety and a mentally ill feeling that is simply crippling. I'm not saying this to bring about negativity or fear, but I do not want anyone to get complacent and start taking drugs again, thinking that it will all work out fine as the years pass. As with everything hppd, every individual is different. That said I am genuinely pleased that some of you are leading happy lives.
  15. strange... everything i have in my vision is either white, blue or green... The only black dots i have are floaters