disguyhere

missjess.. i've been down that hole and back again many times over the past 14 years i've dealt with hppd.. it will get better.. and it will probably also get worse again too.. but you're not alone and you don't have to be miserable . The most important thing is to keep your will strong and fight back. the more you fight the more ground you gain, and even small victories help push you on. and for what we did.... we were curious. you look to deeply into the dark you need to be prepared for it to look back at you . we were just all unprepared.

im taking imipramine for my ibs.. which is also an antidepressant .. lunesta and or ambien for sleep .. zyrtec once daily.. and zantac 150 twice daily for allergies .. the lack of appetite happened after adding the zantac to the mix. that plus the zyrtec is the only thing keeping my dermatagraphism down so it's been either i take them and dont want to rip my skin off , but i dont eat... or i dont take themand my life gets miserable. so i'll not eat

this kinda happened to me over the past 2 months.. i didnt decide to do it , the combination of meds im on just removed all trace of hunger from me... at one point 3 weeks ago i went two 3 day stretches without a single bite to eat or feeling of hunger from lack of it.. dropped 20 lbs over a two week period and it's still coming off not sure its really super healthy for me but i needed to lose the weight and not worrying about food is one less thing on my plate... sorry for the pun

im with mike.. i dont know if its more a psychosomatic reaction or sensitivity to thc.. but I've done both smoking daily, and long periods of not at all... and it has 0 negative effect on my hppd whatsoever.. If anything it makes me a little more fluid mentally which for me helps me to cope with the hppd better, but that may be because of the efforts I put into my meditation.

Not to beat a dead horse here.. but chris since I've come here almost every post I've seen from you has been negative. If more than one person has had to complain about it being a problem, then its not just their imagination, and they really don't need to bother providing concrete examples when you know full well of the time's you've gotten on peoples nerves.. maybe not everyone.. but more than enough that something should have been said, even if the way it came out and the strength of the words went too far. I wish you no ill will man.. but when more than one person has had to say it.. perhaps you should reflect on yourself a bit and the reasons that may be behind people feeling that way towards you.. or not if you dont give a shit... but if you dont give a shit expect that to be returned to you

12 Foot Ninja : Silent Machine ..the whole album.. on repeat good stuff

i think for people with non dp/dr visual related issues ketamine like mdma may be useful in treatment of depression.. i don't think hppd sufferers fall into that category. Taking a dissociative to correct a dissociative causing disorder will only prolong the disorder or make it worse. i would say if any drug in this category had potential to help hppd'er it would be salvia under the exact proper conditions and not recreational usage. That goes being dissociative to disconnected.. and anything disconnected when reconnected has a chance to reconnect stronger... but an equally large chance to never reconnect again

mix f sleeping pills and imipramrine for my stomach dont necessarily kill my libido but nothings managed to do that since i was 12.. all i can suggest is less is more.. dont look to add anything more to fix it when working towards taking less may help more in the long run

i find people that think im exaggerating often are insecure about their own realities to begin with. contemplating an existence without stable reality is usually too much for them to comprehend or relate to

because if there is a deity out there they have a really shitty sense of humor?

i know it's a completely left field suggestion, but i'd honestly say salvia would have a better effect on us to treat dp/dr then ibogaine// if only because salvia will make any dp/dr feel like an afterthought for 5 minutes while reality truly collapses.. and when you come back you're grateful for the tiny in comparison bit of dp/dr .. as crazy as that sounds i mean it in all seriousness.. not done like a party drug but in a controlled setting similar to ibogaine therapy and even mdma therapy it can function to undo some of the mental loops that trap people in depression

ibogaine man.. you dont mess with that stuff unless you have someone exceptionally well versed in its use to guide you. miracle cure for addiction it may be it's not a fix all and i would never use it to help dp/dr .. it's like a mental flush but if its not done right will just leave you worse. that and it needs to be done in concert with a proper support system to help long term with addiction. as for ibogaine and depression there hasnt been enough legitimate research for me to think of it as any kind of cure let alone treatment. the effects are far too strong to "treat" with and unlike addiction the mechanisms behind depression never just turn off.. i know addiction doesnt ever really either but with that ibogaine almost makes your brain forget those connections that feed the addiction either way please stay away from that again unless you have someone with years of addiction treatment experience behind them to administer it. too risky otherwise

if you can send me the link i'll give it a whirl on a somewhat related aside... a friend of mine has been dabbling in buddhism and the monk who runs the temple he's been going to gave him some meditation instructions that just happened to correlate exactly with the method for controlling my visuals that I've worked out.. it all came down to first finding your visual (or spiritual) center.. and then instead of trying to observe it directly observe its surroundings and spin it. the guy actually used the same exact wording i do.. find the center and spin it.. feels good to know others out their could understand what i mean by that. how that relates to this guided meditation i couldnt tell you yet without trying it but overall i find my method helps tone things down so will see how that works combined or compared to my own way

depends on your outlook.. i can empathize with the character because i manage to use effects of my hppd in my job to extend my coding capabilities. I dont think it would be as possible to be as extreme a visual thinker as I am without having done some psychedelic substance.. goes for all the ones through history who tried something natural but mind altering and changes arts or sciences.. but the negatives tend to outweigh those positives without some form of support system propping the positives up and dealing with the negatives... so that's why it's only "there were other times.."

its not mentioned as hppd directly because the earlier parts happen i imagine pre hppd being a diagnosis.. show takes place over course of 17 years. but he refers to it as visual disorder, flashbacks, ptsd, visions, whatever you want to call it. he knows it's not real but at same time it takes him out of reality. and he has a distinct detachment from reality that they're making a central theme. second episode is called "seeing things" .. fitting enough just to note though.. it gets purty dark.. though woody harrelson brings in some comedy

Anyone catch this show yet? matthew mcconaughey plays a former narcotics officer turned criminal investigation detective, investigating a series of murders with occult ties.. His character spent 4 years in deep cover and now suffers serious hppd as part of it. I think this show does a pretty admirable job of showing how withdrawn he is and how shit in his vision just goes wacky.. Just 3 episodes in and its a pretty engrossing show.

herb never impacts my visuals.. only my state of mind.. and without it my state of mind would be the quantitative effect of putting drops of lsd in the eyes of 500 just walking just talking toddlers and setting them loose in a single room.. so needless to say i frequently visit it

i had my very bad phase years ago.. its still hard to give a shit sometimes but living on my own every few days i try to go room to room and excise the trash and keep it manageable. but yeah.. i had my very very very bad years.. locked in room. stopped talking to many friends outside of playing mmo.. would go to work and come home and just do nothing. easy to get stuck in that rut but its just as easy to break it by pushing yourself to do it whether you care about the mess or not.

i like the idea of a google group since most people have a gmail account and are members of g+ by proxy.. facebook i'll never touch in my life

thats not just hppd .. depression functions the same way. bipolar the same way but even more so. your body has its waves like everything else and you gotta learn to expect the lows and deal with them enough to make it back out to the highs.

lunesta is my lover and best friend in the world right now.. ambien stopped having any effect on me and my dr finally officially labeled me a chronic insomniac.. so we decided to switch over to lunesta and give it a try. best sleep i've had in years. the metal aftertaste for the whole next day is annoying as hell, but you could give me a mouth full of the taste of ass and i'd still take it if it meant a full uninterrupted 7-8 hours of sleep. sadly i think the lunesta is going to go the say way as ambien before long. but i'm taking a sleep study this coming weekend so i'll hopefully soon find out if theres anything more i can do outside of the chemical route.

also .. just to throw this out there.. dont give up hope that a change of doctor may not help as well. after years of having no luck identifying the source or a full body allergic reaction i have had on and off... i finally came accross an allergist who knew what he was doing and he was able to identify it as a severe form of dermatographism ... which just happens to be the first thing i told a doctor i thought it was 6 years ago :| .. and was told noo noo.. thats not it.. needless to say im hoping that having a true proper diagnosis and taking a balance of meds to specifically target that disorder.. maybe i'll get some relief from it . the problem is that 9 out of 10 doctors would never be able to make that diagnosis because its not a common disorder, and only specialists that have had experience with it would have went there that quick with the diagnosis. so i guess the point of this is, while you may not be finding the help you need now, dont stop yourself from trying.. because you will eventually find that one doctor who does know what they are doing who is willing to try to help.

i suggest at this point to try to get into meditation to help with the visuals if medication is no longer working.

no need to apologize Sam... life is a sequence of ups and downs and we just gotta find what helps us get back the ups. we're all here if you need to vent it out

i take a medium dose of an antidepressant called imiprimine for stomach issues (its used in treatment of IBS) ... this has helped at least to regulate my more severe bouts of depression and has let me take at least some of my life back.... but the i'm going crazy type thoughts never really go away a trick though.... stop caring if you're going crazy and start realizing that every single person in this world is a little crazy.. i mean that sincerely.. if you define crazy as brain not functioning in a "normal" way then nobody on this planet's brain functions exactly the same. there is no normal. and the more you dig into even the most stable seeming persons life the more you will dig up at least one or two quirks that could otherwise define someone as being "crazy" by someone else's standards. the point is, if you accept the world you live in, flaws and all, it helps you you to accept yourself and move away from looking at it as if you're the crazy one.