ricskel

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About ricskel

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  1. Not sure if this may help anyone else but I've been taking St. Johns wort supplement, and Ginkgo Biloba. I have also quit everything including my long time habit of marijuana. Its been almost a week now, and I think that I may have just gotten a pre/mild case of hppd. The clarity is amazing and I haven't said any nonsense in about 3 days. I also meditate on a daily basis so I think that helps since I've been doing it for about a year now as well and t was a lot harder before I quit marijuana. Good luck all.
  2. I would like to also mention what I believe the cause of my hppd was. Besides smoking MJ etc for about a year straight, maybe 3g a week, and doing ayahuasca off and on, shrooms here and there. I didn't start noticing hppd symptoms until about a week after I did HBWR, basically ground up these seeds and ate em in a peice of bread, was 14 total ground up. The experience was weird, and I was on edge the whole time, stomach pains, and I got really baked in order to alleviate this, and I eventually passed out. After about a week or two later is when I first started noticing the symptoms. I thought something was going on when I had a major break through on ayahuasca because I had visuals and such for about a week after that but they disappeared forever plus they were a lot different than what I'm experiencing now. Damn that lsa...
  3. So I've been reading through a lot of peoples stuff and this hppd stuff is really depressing because of how long some people deal with it. Is there an average time for the symptoms to go away? I understand hppd is pretty new, but what if its just like this forever... I dunno if I can cope... life is already hard enough and I've been through so much crap I just want to go live on island sometimes... not suicidal or anything just very down about this whole ordeal, because I never thought this would happen to me because I've known so many people who've done psychedellics and nothing happened for years on end. Is it possible that being on ritalin as a child predisposed me to this? I was basically force fed ritalin as a child when we moved over here from Germany even though I had straight A's they said I was too hyperactive. I think the teachers just got tired of me constantly asking questions about everything...
  4. I've noticed in the last couple months since the symptoms have gotten worse I tend to say things backwards, or I will say something and seriously completely forget that I said it, and this is really scary because today I was in a fast food line and the guy thought I said 5 pc chicken wings when I meant philly cheese steak and it really bothered me... I notice sometimes I have a hard time forming sentences on the fly, and I used to be really sharp. This hppd is really starting to get to me, because I simply can't function like I want to...
  5. Its only been a couple days and quitting Marijuana has shown to alleviate most of my symptoms, but the first day was torture. I've been keeping myself busy with guitar and video games, and I've also started taking Ginko Biloba and St.Johns wort, and I've noticed quite a change for the better with the ginko, St.Johns will take about a week or so to have effect and I will update on this.
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  7. Well I'm quitting everything as of today and I'll see how everything goes. I believe that I'm just possibly over reacting a bit anyway because of some stuff I'm going through. For example certain things that I've always dealt with my whole life such as floaters and visual snow when I close my eyes seem a bit more intense now, but I trust my strong mind to get through this and not make a big deal. I'm not suicidal or anything and I can still go about my days with ease and it doesn't seem to be getting any worse since it peaked about a month ago and I quit doing hallucinogens.
  8. I forgot to also mention that at times when I speak I do not say words right or I saw something backwards. This only happens at work when I'm multi tasking or debating with my co workers. They just laugh at it, but I pause and I realize wtf I never used to do that... I'm not sure but could it because I speak two different languages fluently, German and English?
  9. Hey all I've decided to check myself into this forum after dealing with what I think is mild hppd for a few months now. About two years ago I dosed my first shroom trip, and no hppd after that. After that first trip though I was obsessed with psychedellics after having lived a life where many people around me demonized such activities I felt pulled towards them. I did Ayahuasca a few times and this is where I had my major break throughs and where the first 'ego demons' I call them made themselves present. I then did some amanitas and I think that was a mistake because I had a very odd trip which caused some linger thoughts about how worthless life was for weeks. I quit everything but pot after this, but I was smoking pot every day and nothing but pretty potent stuff. I tried doing Ayahuasca again after a couple months and the brews failed so I started getting aggitated and upping the dose of my mimosa until I finally got a trip and it blew me to peices. I woke up on my living room floor and I felt like lifetimes had passed, and I no longer knew what I wanted to do with my life. I continued smoking pot, and then I moved back in to parents live to be closer to my family. My family was an extremely stressing environment with my parents getting divorced and my siblings never could get along. All this with trying to find a job and being broke life was really getting to me. I couldn't sleep at night without marijuana, and this was really starting to bother me because I hadn't dealt with this since after the Army. No I do not have PTSD nor have I ever seen actual combat. But I was in a unit with extremely obessive morons who would make us stay awake 30-40 hours at a time for no reason in the field, and this caused me to develop insomnia which I treated myself with marijuana after I got out of the military. I had a bad experience with the military and got out on a other than honorable discharge because I no longer wanted to be in but I was in the 82nd they wouldn't hear it so I started smoking pot and protesting the war in fatigues, and this really really messed up my life. It took a lot of overcome my parents negative views of me and move on with life. At this point I work as a network technician and I like my job for the most part. I try to keep my life as low stress as possible, and I'm going to quit smoking pot starting next week. I would like to get rid of my hppd. I want to see nature clear again. I want to see the stars and night sky without tracers and weird distortions... My symptoms are not that bad I think, but I really don't know because I haven't been to a doctor. At night I tend to see tracers, but not really when I'm driving. It seems if I have to focus on a task I rarely notice floaters, tracers, or the fog. If I sit and look at a light in the dark I will see a tracer for about ~15seconds or so sometimes... I notice sometimes I will be in the bathroom and I can see this odd visual fog type of almost optical illusion which seems like atoms flying through reality from another dimension is all I can make of it, but I know its a hallucination. I tend to get obsessed in thinking about my life and the future, because I get bored and idle. I try to keep myself busy with car projects, music, and games. Then I started noticing myself getting lost in obsessional thought listening to music and to the point where I would not even hear the music anymore! This really scared me one time and I decided I need to get out of this trance. The thing is I love hallucinogens especially DMT because it has helped me get over so many personal problems in my life and it has taught me how to love myself again and appreciate life for what it is so I really don't know what to do in the long run, because I don't want the hppd back once its gone, but I also know I can't die from it so maybe I should just deal with it to enjoy what I want from life. Anyways I have come here to figure out what I can do about this hppd. Name is Rich btw I'm 22.