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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

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  1. 4 points
    @Saff I remember the point in my life when I realized "this isn't going away". It's really hard to come to terms with having this disability (In my case, I consider it a disability). I also remember the.point at which I decided that it wasn't going to get the best of me. I think that determination is in all of us if we can find it within ourselves. Understand that you can live a good life even with hppd. Sorry to sound so preachy. Part of being old I guess.
  2. 4 points
    I feel like the symptoms of anxiety,depression,derealization and depersonalization are a matter of us dealing with our condition and how we respond to it and the emotions we attach to it. Honestly, I feel like the best way to get better from HPPD is to accept the fact that yes you may have visuals but this is NOT the end of the world. You have to do things like meditation, wim hof breathing, weight lift, exercise. If you continue to believe that you're going to have anxiety and depression for the rest of your life due to a past decision, you have to ABSOLUTELY get over this destructive thought pattern. Guys, the mind is an extremely powerful thing. We can either use it as a tool for our own advantage or as a means of self destruction. STOP the negative thought patterns, eliminate the cortisol rush's from anxiety and take control of your life! Never feel sorry for yourself and never ever go into the bitter regretful mindset. This will just absolutely lead you down a dark path. Cheers, hope everyone gets better.
  3. 3 points
    Some people here can have a beer on the weekends and be fine. Some people can't. There's a certain sensitivity with hppd and the spectrum is vast. Psychedelics may have helped you at one time but I'm in agreement with Fante that hppd is some kind of cerebral injury. You have been mildly injured by psychedelics, and you're at a higher propensity for becoming more injured the more you do. I did drugs for the better part of a decade. I continued to use years after I got hppd. I'm slowly recovering from my last major flare up but why would I put myself through that again just to gain a little insight? Not worth it to me. You couldn't PAY me to do drugs again.
  4. 3 points
    You may as well ask "if i play russian roulette, will I die?"... None of us know for sure... Yet we can all tell you that it's a stupid idea. I might offend some people saying this, but mild hppd is a walk in the park... Something you can easily live with for the rest of your life. Severe hppd is one of the worst things you can ever experience. Is an 6 hour high worth that risk?
  5. 3 points
    I've had mild hppd because of SSRI and used to smoke weed for 15 years before, I recovered in 10 months at 90-95 %. But I relapsed on caffeine and afterimages, trails and general vision are worse than the first time now. But I will recover again.
  6. 3 points
    Great advice. I know months can feel like decades in that early stage. I vividly remember it myself... But it is essential to give yourself the best possible chance to recover... Try and remove as much stress from your life as possible. If you need to take time off, do it... If you need to lock yourself in your room, do it... Whatever helps with stress... You can quickly get your life back on track once you recover or learn to deal with this. I would also add that self blame/self loathing is great fuel for stress and anxiety. If at all possible, forgive yourself for taking risks with drugs and realise that no amount of wishing you hadn't done something will ever make it so... It's wasted energy and added stress, so just forgive yourself for doing something that millions of others do, learn and move on. (easy said than done, i know!).
  7. 2 points
    I want to preface that my symptoms are/were severe. Ranging from mild annoyances like visual snow, palinopsia, tinnitus, headaches, muscle twitching to severe problems like sicca dryness, mental disorientation, fatigue, chronic muscle tightness causing sharp pains, GI dysmotility and intestinal pseudo-obstruction. I basically developed a brutal form of HPPD. After some recent GI-related problems, I was tested thoroughly by a doctor looking for answers. By stroke of luck, I tested positive for something that explains very well a large portion of my symptoms. I have positive antibodies for Ganglionic ACHr (acetylcholine) alpha-3 receptor. Here's a paper with more detail: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3764484/ I'm not really sure how many others here would test positive for the same receptor. It has been studied, and while very rare, does not accurately describe and represent HPPD-type symptoms of visual distortion (although I believe mood related problems are connected). But, what I realized for the first time is that it's not just a problem of receptors not functioning properly, but also my immune system is actively involved in the process of disrupting my neural communication. Antibodies connect to the receptor and therefore block my ACHr from working properly. So, any discussion of my receptor malfunctioning is somewhat moot. The receptor is targeted by immune system to block its function. Fuck you immune system. Don't know what this means yet, but while I'm still working to make connections to all sides, it does explain why Prednisone (immunosuppresive therapy) has been effective for me in the past. EDIT: Don't know why I forgot, but the auto-antibody for acetylcholine actually DOES have implications on the visual system. As shown in the paper, people with this antibody has impaired reflexive pupils causing photophobia. Bingo.
  8. 2 points
    I'm honestly convinced the Baby Boomer generation is the source of so many problems today. They were a huge reason for why Trump got elected. They harbor most of the racist beliefs in the U.S. They're materialistic. They aren't all that keen on science. And as you've alluded to, they don't seem particularly interested in admitting anything that came from the 60s was damaging when in fact that whole era ripped the U.S. apart. My dad is a perfect example. All he did was brag about how much drugs he did when he was young. I looked up to him so of course I tried to do the same. Look where I ended up. Also, as you've stated, there's such a strong inclination to disbelieve HPPD because by doing so they'd have to admit LSD isn't the miracle drug they all thought it was. My only questions is where neurology comes into all this. HPPD is so clearly a brain malfunction and needs study in that regard. I don't at all see HPPD as an emotional disorder with neurological side effects but rather quite the opposite. It's the visual distortions that precipitate the emotional struggles. It's so obvious based on the decades of this disorder existing and on my own experience that the standard mental health practitioner has absolutely no clue what this is or how to deal with it. I really feel like this is something that needs the attention of neurologists given our symptoms align so much more with those that brain specialists spend a lifetime analyzing.
  9. 2 points
    I don't consider myself old (I'm 29), but I honestly can't believe all the drugs kids are doing these days. They're all manufactured and have names that sounds like Star Wars robots. These just don't sound safe on a surface level. Who's making them? What's in them? Is there any organic compounds or is it all just chemicals mixed together? I never knew HPPD existed prior to getting it but if someone had approached me about trying some of these new-age designer drugs I would have suspected they weren't safe to begin with. I'm not at all trying to say this is your fault, so please don't take it that way. I feel bad for you just like I do anyone that gets HPPD. I just don't get why people are putting all these mystery drugs into their bodies these days. When I was growing up, which really wasn't that long ago, it was just weed, shrooms, acid and occasionally a painkiller or some cocaine here or there and that was it. I really worry about HPPD growing exponentially with all these new drugs out there...
  10. 2 points
    I really hope you stop using drugs and consider seeking help LA. You're only going to worsen your symptoms doing more drugs. Life won't get better by sniffing glue or dropping acid again. I'm not sure what you're going through but your posts have gotten increasingly worrisome. I hope for your sake you can find some help in dealing with whatever you're going through.
  11. 2 points
    Welcome. I know that feeling as I had it with DP-DR when I first discovered that was a real condition. It's quite a liberating feeling and at the same time comforting to know you're not alone. There's all sorts of great information on this site so I'd encourage you to read up!
  12. 2 points
    Mindset is the key really.... Though I am unsure if it is something you just have, or can develop it. Alot of people arrive here full of self loathing and hatred... It's just wasted energy that creates further stress... Stress fuels anxiety, which fuels the visuals... So forgive yourself, take this as a massive learning step and mentally move on.
  13. 2 points
  14. 2 points
    Hey everyone. I've been off the page for a little while since I got a new job, requires me to be gone from home for 12 hours a day 7 days a week and after my 7 days I get a week off. The job itself is doing me wonders, It shows me that I can still live a functioning normal life even with a few vision problems and some anxiety. The time I usually get to notice my symptoms is when I'm driving on the highway late at night, so tonight when I was driving for the first time in a week I noticed my ghosting was a lot less severe. Ever since I started taking magnesium oxide I've also noticed my visual snow has nearly completely gone! I don't wanna say there's only 5-10% of it left but I will say it's about 50% less than what it was about a month ago. If you're someone who doesn't have a job or had dropped out of school due to hppd, my honest suggestion is to push through it and not let it dictate the things you do. If you let hppd control the way you live your life you're getting sucked into it and it becomes you. There's more to you than hppd, there's so many other things to be done. On one final note, I think the last time I was on this page was the 29th of August and I will say not browsing this page every day benefited me so much. I came back here for the first time in a week tonight and after reading some posts I felt my anxiety and nervousness levels rise. This page can be very helpful to you to get advice from people or if a new symptom arrises. But I was so much worse off when I was browsing these forums 2-3 times a day every day. Now don't get me wrong, I don't hate the page, as far as I'm concerned we are all family fighting a battle and I would do anything for every one of you that was in my power. But there needs to be a point when you step back from the forums and pick yourself up and move on with your life. I will still be around, just not every day, I encourage you all to do the same.
  15. 2 points
    I never really had a bad trip. Strange, unearthly, total loss of body, yes. Bad or a "bummer", no. Hppd for me was due to an extreme case of brain rewiring as opposed to a bad experience. Using acid to cure hppd sounds like using whisky to cure alcoholism.
  16. 2 points
    I know how it is man. We all have vices. Mine is sugar and sweets. I still struggle with that stuff daily. Again, it's all about making little achievements and goals here or there, baby steps, taking it one day at a time, etc. Like MadDoc said, focus on the progress you have made, be proud of yourself, but at the same time always have goals you're trying to work toward too.
  17. 2 points
  18. 2 points
    http://time.com/4841790/exercise-brain/?utm_campaign=time&utm_source=twitter.com&utm_medium=social&xid=time_socialflow_twitter
  19. 2 points
    I really think everyone on this site, especially those with anxiety problems, should definitely consider this. All the science is pointing towards writing as an excellent way to help process trauma and it sounds like this could be one of the ways to follow through with this concept. Also, Jordan Peterson is just about one of the smartest dudes on the planet so I don't think you could go wrong. Thanks for posting this.
  20. 2 points
    I'm unfortunately only new to this entire experience, having been experiencing after-images for about three months now. Prior to this, I'd been depressed over other vision problems cause by laser eye surgery (don't ever get it done by the way - the risks are not worth it). For me, as I had been trying to sort out my life after the laser, I had already developed some support mechanisms for my problematic vision. It was just a stroke of misfortune that brought me more visual problems - the snakes in life are always around, no matter how many you kill. Luckily, the support mechanisms I had been developing for my problematic eyesight already existed. Some of these have been helpful in dealing with my new HPPD-related vision problems: Psychotherapy. My psychologist is great - she has a great understanding of the theory in her field and applies it magnificently. She is also very smart and understanding, often putting pieces together that I would never have been able to arrange. Psychiatry. I'm not sure if this has helped or not, but I've been on Lexapro for six months. I'm wondering whether this could have contributed to the development of my HPPD, but for now my medications are at least available to help lighten the load of negative emotion. Mindfulness Meditation. I was told by another psychiatrist to start looking into this, and it's been one of the most important changes I've made in my life. It has helped reduce my anxiety - even more than CBT did. I would recommend that you give this a try using the Headspace app to encourage daily practice and for an accessible introduction to the practice. Journaling. I've recently begun doing this and have enjoyed it immensely. Journaling has been around for centuries, and it's no wonder - it helps you articulate and better understand your thoughts and feelings. Give it a try - buy yourself a nice book to write in, and set aside 10-15 mins each night to just write about your day. Don't hold back, and don't write for anybody other than yourself. There is no right and wrong, just write without editing. It's a very liberating feeling. These are some of my strategies so far. I hope they can be of some use to anyone else here. Facing the struggles of life doesn't necessarily mean getting rid of them, it means getting stronger so that you can tolerate them. Remember that each day you make it through is another victory for you to be proud of.
  21. 2 points
    I thought i'd start a topic where we can all contribute ways we have made our lives a little better (non medicinal). Get healthy and sober This is the obvious one... quitting drugs, stimulants like coffee, smoking etc.... Then eating healthily and working out really do help alot. Forget the past It is easy to get caught up in a spiral of guilt, anger and jealousy about your current situation. Why did I do drugs? Why did I get hppd? Why are my friends ok? Like all the mistakes and regrets in life... learn from it and move on (not easy, I know). These emotions will just feed the anxiety and hppd. Change your life hppd is at it's worst when we are stressed. It is impossible to avoid all stress, but do what you can to change your lifestyle for the better. If you hate your job, try and change it.... If you hate the city, move out. If your friends don't seem to support you, move on (the real friends will let you back in, when you're ready). These are big, life changing decisions... but hppd doesn't have to stop you making them. Grab your life back hppd can strip you of your ability to do the simplest tasks in life. Retrain yourself to do these tasks. If making eye contact is tripping you out, just slowly do it a little more each day... The more you do it, the more normal it will become. Same goes for all sorts of things... making small talk, going out and about, chatting to someone you are hot for. Your life isn't over This is a key thing to remember. The 1st months and years can be very, very tough... But life goes on. There are numerous people on here that have gone on to have successful educations, careers, relationships and families. hppd is not the end of your life, your dreams or your happiness.
  22. 2 points
    The question is not random at all. It is a great one. (I am going to speak to those without significant DP/DR, but the individuals that have lasting altered perceptual disturbances that at least in the early part of the disorder result in significant distress.) I started talking on the original forum in 1998. I was less than a year into the disorder, and happy that somehow found a name for it (Thanks to the old HPPD board by Andrew). So, I know there are many who have had HPPD for 40+ years like MadDoc above. I can say that the vast majority of them have adapted to the symptoms, and some of us *cough* may be better off with HPPD having affected out lives vs. death or the other few awful outcomes that accompany substance abuse. How are the Visual symptoms? Do I still have the same visual symptoms? Generally, the symptoms do reduce with time. I do take clonazepam, but admittedly I am unable to honestly say if it has caused me more trouble than if I had not started taking it. I think there is a place for benzodiazepines, and a meta-analytical look at posts on this message board could yield an interesting paper or an easily designed research project could shed light on some empirical data on this question. For me, it was the thick static (a severity that I saw figures and cartoons in the spinning pinwheels of the static when I closed my eyes) that prevented me from driving at night and my night vision made looking at the sky impossible and all but the brightest stars and planets would be distinguishable. The purple afterimages at night would take over my vision if I stared off into space. It would be followed by a neon green "veins" in the shape similar or = to Kluver shapes. I can tell you that during times when I did not have access to Klonopin, the anxiety and body feelings are far worse than the visuals, but the visuals are worse as I would expect because in a withdrawal the brain has not had a chance to adapt to the normal receptors. However, my vision would only be an issue at times it would be for any person with or without HPPD when they would be more aware of their vision (e.g. driving at night on a two-lane road with oncoming lights, staying up too long or looking through a telescope. Excessive glare.) my symptoms have not changed. Truthfully, they are worse, but (NO PANIC) I am certain they are the result of my vision actually getting worse and I need glasses. But, I have been putting off going to get my eyes checked. Iff in one month I haven't made the appointment and can report to anyone about it, please call me out on it. Right now, I have trouble with street signs, reading text close up and my vision was impossible to determine a "number" when I was last tested in 2004 because of the visual issues, and I make sure to take my medication before getting my eyes tested for when driving (and at least I pass these for now). (I have a lot to say, so I will try and stay on topic the best I can, but you wil get more than you asked as a result.) Perception of our environment is one of the strangest and most interesting parts of PSYCHOLOGY that I know. I can go a few days without my symptoms becoming a thought that reaches my conscious awareness. So, did I see haloes, walls move, and other visuals during those few days? I would say I saw them just as much as I was consciously aware of the birds chirping around me (they do all the time, but how often do you notice them?) that I had absolutely no real recollection of. We can attend to only so many things, so if I am having sex then I can tell you with 100% certainty that at this point I don't think about HPPD during or after! When I am writing on this message board, I can write for a few hours and talk about the symptoms but not be occupied by my own. However, just as I can now -- I look away at the wall and I see the monitor after image, the wall is moving upwards, everything is still in ghosted vision, Haloes and afterimages follow everything I see -- have these visuals they do not cause me distress. I am more concerned for those who are going to get HPPD and for the individuals who received it only after a few uses and for the people where other disorders interact with the mechanisms of HPPD to make it more difficult to accept that I am my own. In general, I know people in almost every class of profession and life but notably, none are jet pilots or dentists and also not aware of any of us being a military sniper, and these others where perfect eye-sight is required are doing very well in their lives. When they are not, the cause is usually linked to anxiety and depression that exist with HPPD and experiences of depersonalization or the visuals staying distressful can be an issue without addressing the other disorders. I have ADHD (which is finally getting research to support it as a biological brain disease, so I don't need to validate it but I am 38, have 4 papers in medical journals but live in my family's basement) which is the reason I have been gone so long. I designed the PHP front-end and MySQL backend for the Depersonalization research with Dr. Simeon in a hyperfocused binge and I designed and published research because either I was illicitly taking or finally prescribed Adderall to provide me the ability to complete a task). I also have a "lasting disorder" but it is "cured" which is my right leg's tibia (shin) had a complete spiral fracture and fibula broken like twigs and I almost required amputation, but instead, they used a scalpel to start a 25cm or so cut along my calf and then used surgical scissors and cut through my fascia to prevent compartment syndrome, put a rod through my knee cap down to my ankle and screwed my leg together and I had to wear a wound vacuum 24/7 for 4 or so months until the wound reduced dramatically in size (three times a week I would have the sponge changed by specialists) and then I could get a skin graft to be the fine leg they saved. I was very lucky. However, It causes awful restless leg symptoms (all of the little nerves slowly coming back, and a lot of feeling still doesn't exist on that area of the skin that is a giant scar) and standing for a day will cause me to feel like my knee is locking up, I can't go up and down stairs without using my arms in that case and I have to rest for a day (I can manage the pain if I am not moving, but if it gets too bad I do take tramadol and I will take it to sleep). Before this, I was taking 10-20mg Oxycodone every4-6 hours including when I would suddenly awake as it wore off. Eventually, I asked to step down and I am only telling this story because I am an Addict, and telling your doctor to reduce your narcotics is something I am proud of. However, I am still taking a combination of meds that we were reducing in small steps (until my father was diagnosed with brain cancer and so far we haven't decided it is good to rock the boat) that a substance abuser would consider a dream to have each month: d-Amphetamine, Clonazepam, Tramadol but I can promise my opinion of these are completely different. Do I still forget my keys and it has been over 2 months and I have yet to get a replacement to my driverse license I lost somewhere? Yes. However, I did keep excellent records and cared for my sick father in a way that I managed his medications, condition where nobody would have said I was inattentive. It is just how my brain attends to things, so like HPPD it is part of my biological situation (but we can learn to adapt and even take advantage of some of the things. If hearing 1000+ stories from people with HPPD makes me an expert on the topic, then I can tell just from your last sentence tells you already understand our best defense. Humans are generally very resilient and adapt to a lot of weird conditions. I will may not have daily leg pain, but I still have a titanium rod and I wouldn't try competition cycling, and I can't finish a book until I started taking meds so I can function in our world and did I overcome ADHD? I am getting closer, but as my psychiatrist said, "Your brain is special. That is all you will get for my diagnosis on you. I fill out numbers for your insurance." So, in my opinion, you are going to do fine. Very early on, about 1 year into it I was going to stop looking for my own cure and worrying if it will go away, and it enabled me the freedom to study it and observe it without excessive bias towards seeking a magic bullet cure and be realistic about what the challenge will be. Your only real limit is not landing jets on aircraft carriers at night. - dk
  23. 2 points
    This was only posted a week ago: What always amazes me is the comments section, reading people who say HPPD is fun and they enjoy it. I'm happy to swap them their mild HPPD for my severe HPPD and DP-DR and see how much fun they have!
  24. 2 points
    recovery is subjective.. i mean physically we can never be the person we were before becoming the way we are. just by virtue of the constant changing off the cells/particles/memories/stomach contents/brain chemistry/synaptic connections/environmental factors.... the me of this second is never going to be the same as the me of even 5 minutes ago. I'd count a full recovery for myself is being able to perceive the color black again. to not know what it means to see the colors redblue and greenorange and cosmic purple all the time. (if you know what i mean then you know... you know...) everything else i take as consequence for my actions and are part of who i am today whether i like it or not. at least if i could see black again and not have a 100% always on electric current running through my visual field... maybe i could sleep.. maybe i wouldnt suffer as many headaches.. maybe my stress levels would decrease and my stomach would calm down.... so if i can recover black at least.. i could call myself a success story
  25. 2 points
    Here is my success story. I really hope this helps people because when I first got HPPD almost 4 years ago at age 23 I was a total train wreck and thought I would never get my life back. I am certain that this forum played a huge role in saving my life because for a long time I was seriously worried that I would have no other way out than to take my own life. This was definitely my darkest time and it makes me a little sick to think about it but I feel like I owe it to all the kids out there who are suffering. I'll get to the point. I took mushrooms for the first time ever and I flipped out. There seems to be a pretty standard story to this...total fear, a feeling that the trip will never end, it was a feeling I had never felt before. In my mind, I went to hell if it does exist. I woke up the next day feeling wierd, just off, sort of empty. I didnt think it anything serious until a week later, on new years day, I woke up after a night of partying in Las Vegas, and I knew something was wrong, I was sick, I was throwing up, and I was terrified, my vision was changing before my very eyes, everything was moving, and I knew something was wrong, the first thing I thought when I got up...the mushrooms were coming back to get me. I tried to tell myself it would be ok, that I was just sick from drinking, but it didn't stop. I didn't eat for almost a week, and I went to the hospital to get an I.V. to rehydrate me. In the ER, there was a true psychotic woman having an episode, It terrified me, because I felt I could somehow relate to her. I thought I had really lost it and I would never be the same. I'd heard of people "freaking out" and stories from the 60s, musicians like Brian Wilson going nuts on acid ect. and I starting thinking I was one of them now. I went home and felt so empty, but I couldn't even cry. My parents came back from a trip they were on, and it was like I didn't even know them, I was in my own little world. Things that were familiar were foreign to me, nothing was the same. As I worried more, things got worse, I started having panic attacks daily, I couldn't sleep, and my visual symptoms got worse. I had horrible headaches, nausea, paranoia, depression, visuals, the whole nine yards. At this point I think i was pre depersonalized, the panic was very strong, and it drove me deeper into a state of numbness. I was having terrible nightmares when I did sleep, finally, I think my mental anguish drove me into a state of numbness, where I couldn't feel anything around me, just like a zombie. I would say this was about 4-6 months into it. I started seeing therapists, and it helped a bit to have someone I could talk to because I didnt have anyone. None of my friends got it, and I was scared to tell my parents. At that point I wasn't even sure if they were real. I started reading on the forums, and this was a real game changer. I started to learn about some of the things that were happening, like the depersonalization/derealization, anxiety, ect. But more than that, I learned that there were people just like me, that I could talk to and would understand me, and even better that some people had survived it. This gave me what I needed, a little hope. Something to AIM for, a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course I was unsure and skeptical that I would get better, but at this point, in what seems like a rather odd reasoning, I decided that I couldn't be any worse off, and that the only choice I had was to get better, I really had nothing to lose. I knew it wouldn't happen soon but I thought, hell, I've survived this long (it was probably a year in) I can keep going, so I kinda just put my life on autopilot. I bought myself some time, I said, hey I'm just gonna deal with this day to day, not try to push myself too hard, and maybe in a few years I'll at least be able to function. That was a big deal, I accepted my situation, that it was gonna suck now, and that it would be a long time before I got better. During this time I had a lot of bad days, I also had some good ones. But every time that I had a good day, I kinda put that in my mental bank. Like saving pennies at a time. They add up. I made habit of doing things that would promote overall well being. That meant regular exercise programs, eating better, meditation, and yoga. I began to make steady improvements, I started having more good days, and things looked better for me. Someone once described HPPD as sort of like throwing a stone into the water, a huge splash, then lots of waves, ups and downs, and the slowly get less and less intense and I would totally agree. There was a long period of about 1 1/2- 3 years into HPPD that I began to get frustrated because I would feel great and think I finally beat it, then relapse again, I just wanted to be better, but again, time heals. This coming New Years day will be my 4 year anniversary of the day HPPD and I can say that this is behind me. In fact, I look back on it and I almost don't believe myself. It's almost like it was just a terrible nightmare. Which is how I had hoped I would look back on it some day. I want to put it behind me and never look back. But at the same time I want to help the kids that are on here because I know how terrible they feel and they need help just like I did. I owe it to someone because I survived and I want people to know that you can beat it but it takes work and commitment. I still feel a little lost, like I'm not sure who I am as a person, but I at least feel like I know where I am (haha). I just spent 4 years in a nightmare and now I'm awake. So I will try to offer some advice. The forums are great for helping you out, but don't spend too much time here. Don't spend hours on hours reading about peoples problems, about mental disorders. Education is good but at some point it will only make you more obsessive. Also, there is a lot of negativity here that will bring you down, because people that are on here are mostly here because they are having problems, not because they are doing great. For every 1 success story you will read about 20 horror stories. It's like watching the news, they only report on the bad stuff, you will never turn it on and have the reporter say "hey, everything is great." Again, do stuff that promotes good health, a healthy body is a healthy mind. Get outside and enjoy nature. I found it easier to connect with natural objects. Try to feel the sun, or the breeze on your face, little things like that. They can help you feel alive. Stop doing drugs, alcohol, tobacco, or limit your intake if you can. Smoking weed really made things worse for me. Talk to someone that can offer something positive and will understand your situation. If anyone ever wants to talk, on the phone, email, whatever, hit me up. Believe you can get better.
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