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  1. ferret

    Success Stories

    About time for a thread like this. I took about 4 grams of shrooms (twice as much as you should on your first time) in early january. Before that all I had done was drink and smoke weed a few times. I tripped really hard, I was in a completely diferent dimension talking to people who don't exist, and time had no meaning. At one point I became really scared that I wasn't going to come back and began freaking out trying to physicaly claw my way back into this world while my eyes were closed. Still the next morning I was fine and I looked at the trip in a positive way. Three weeks later I smoked a little and the night after that I drank a little. The night after the night I drank I woke up from a really messed up dream shaking with really bad anxiety. For the next week I had horrible anxiety and sleep issues (hynagogic hallucinations and such) but no other symptoms. After a week it went away but then a few days later it came back with all that stuff plus 24/7 visual snow and some after-images and some derelization. The next two months were hell but then things started to improve. After 4 months I was feeling a lot better and could ignore HPPD pretty easily, after 6 months I was basically back to normal. It's been almost 7 months now and I still have some very minor symptoms. I am more anxious/moody/prone to depression than I was prior to HPPD but its still improving and I'm confident that these symptoms will completely dissapear soon. In certain lightings I stilll get visual snow but its so minor that if it had never been worse I would think it was just a normal thing that everyone had. Ocasionally I'll get a random visual (like an afterimage or something weirder), but its getting increasingly more rare and honestly might also be normal. I dream vivid dreams all night long it seeems now but thats not really a bad thing. I still have some Hypnagogia issues, I kinda start dreaming while I'm still awake and had a little sleep paralysys a week ago (I thought i was dead), its really hard to explain but its not a problem as long as it doesn't get worse. I also get CEV when I'm trying to sleep sometimes but those are fun now that they aren't there all the time. I didn't use any prescriptions to get to this point, just eating healthy, taking vitamins, exercising, and most importatly ignoring my symptoms and believing that they will go away. Good Luck!
    70 Points
  2. Boogres

    telling parents

    Thats what hurt me the most too...my dad still doesnt believe me haha...do what you think is best i guess
    63 Points
  3. Gmo

    General advice

    Number 2 is particularly hard...........
    62 Points
  4. Hooooooooooooly shit. Thanks David. "YOU ARE MORE LIKELY TO CORRECTLY DIAGNOSE HPPD IN YOURSELF than receiving a correct diagnosis by a clinician." So true. My Harvard trained psychiatrist attempted to, while contradicting himself at times, tell me I did not have hppd. I will try to dig into these as much as I can, as I am taking a class on the neurological basis of learning and behavior, so this might be just barely what I can comprehend. You're a knight, man. I don't know if everyone realizes it, but you are.
    61 Points
  5. iwasnineteen

    telling parents

    what are some of your experiences with breaking the news to your parents? how do you tell them? how have they reacted? i know i have to tell them at some point but don't know what to expect or what a good way to say it would be... :/
    59 Points
  6. his is a real interesting read, although the pdf is just showing up as jibberish symbols for me. I find it interesting that non HPPD lsd users do perceive changes, I find it strange how these changes don't bother them. I also like the suggested cause of the disorder put forth, a tendency for receptor density to not return to normal makes so much sense to me, if I understood everything correctly.
    59 Points
  7. Merkan

    Medication Trial: Dr. Abraham

    So i guess the obvious one next is, are you still taking the substance as part of your daily routine? If you felt completely normal i guess it would be hard to just let it go.
    58 Points
  8. thanks for posting the report David, so where does the study go from here? Timeframe wise will the placebo tests take place soon? Is there any further areas of study that you are looking into?
    57 Points
  9. windscar

    Medication Trial: Dr. Abraham

    I really wanted to participate on this trial but unfortunatelly travelling to boston is out of question for me. I would really like to know what is the drug used so I can talk to a local doctor. I think it's unfair that only those who live next to boston or that have the time and resources to travel to it can have the chance of participating.
    56 Points
  10. Lucid206

    Medication Trial: Dr. Abraham

    "comfort the desperate" as i said before.. glad you can goto other practitioner's now without the evil eye. hope your well.
    55 Points
  11. JChris

    Would you ever consider..

    This post has been promoted to an article
    54 Points
  12. I don't think open-label trials work for anything... anyone of us could've conducted one, honestly...
    53 Points
  13. hppd33

    Success Stories

    BUMP!
    51 Points
  14. Merkan

    Medication Trial: Dr. Abraham

    EM> just wanna make this clear, you suffer from HPPD from previous drug use? If so this is indeed an even stronger indication that it is genetic
    42 Points
  15. hope1

    AGGRESIVE ADVOCACY

    At times when I'm at my worst, I start thinking what can I do to get the wheels of research going on my own? I've looked up the rosters or many universities and sent indivduals performing reserach into neuroscience a brief email along with a link to the hppd foundation grant. Maybe this approach can be refined into a professionally written form letter to get the attention we deserve and get more heads involved in this condition? Admins-What do you think?
    41 Points
  16. hope1

    AGGRESIVE ADVOCACY

    http://www.mdpi.com/2075-4426/2/4/149
    40 Points
  17. ferret

    AGGRESIVE ADVOCACY

    If you show me a list of E-mail adresses I will definately write to every one of them. That way they all get two e-mails instead of one, and I might take a different aproach like telling my personal story or something. I can write up a draft if you want. I know I shouldn't be but now that HPPD isn't my biggest concern I am definately too lazy too spend so much time finding the e-mails of nerologists when i know that youve already done all that hard work.
    37 Points
  18. hope1

    AGGRESIVE ADVOCACY

    Contacted another 200+ today. If more heads are involved the sooner we can expect results...
    37 Points
  19. odysseus

    Success Stories

    I´m not sure what you mean. My head-shell is like a piece of plastic in my head that I can dig through but it never goes away.
    35 Points
  20. Heres a good write up/explination of whats going on when hallucinogens or neurotransmitters enter the synapse. The adjacent neuron’s postsynaptic membrane appears as an elaborate, thickened complex of interlinked proteins gathered on the surface of a dendrite, which is one of the many arborizing extensions of a neuron. Neurotransmitter receptor binding alters the electrical potential of the dendritic membrane, which processes spatially and temporally the incoming barrage of synaptic impulses to form a signal directed toward the cell body. The dendrite receives both excitatory and inhibitory synaptic inputs. Once a sufficient number of receptor binding events occurs and threshold is reached, the postsynaptic neuron then fires an action potential. That momentary electrochemical flux becomes one nod from one neuron among the brain’s hundred billion.1,2
    34 Points
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    32 Points
  22. Everything in our universe is quite simple, Push/pull concept, up down black white red blue north pole south pole day night sun black hole etc etc etc... well with our receptors its the same concept, agonist inverse agonist, I was thinking that maybe these very potent agonist of the 5ht2a receptors cause such an extreme push that things become out of balance, just like if you decreased suns gravity the earth would fall away, maybe we can utilize inverse 5ht2a agonists to accomplish the rebalancing of our receptors. unfortunately these dont exist that are on the market today, only in clinical trials, for the treatment of insomnia. Anyone have any ideas? Update: Full documentation of this disease can be found on page 24 post #478
    29 Points
  23. Syntheso

    Medication Trial: Dr. Abraham

    I have the A:A (met/met) polymorphism of this COMT SNP http://snpedia.com/index.php/Rs4680 I have not tried Sinemet.
    29 Points
  24. Great! Thank you for all of your hard work David
    29 Points
  25. 26 Points
  26. onedayillsailagain

    Oxazepam.. dosage?

    I had kind of a failed experiment today. I had soaked some tobacco in Damiana tincture last week, and decided to smoke it today. Apparently, smoking it isn't the best idea. Felt kind of high but good for an hour or so, but thereafter I felt unusually strange and fogged out, and just generally felt like shit. Thus I proceeded to drink coffee in a vain attempt to recuperate somewhat from that. Of course, I just felt worse because of that, so in the end I decided to take some Oxazepam, seeing as the last time I had a benzo was months ago. The first time I took Oxazepam I had 10mg's and thought it was overkill. So today I took 5mg's, and guess what? Overkill. At first I got some heightened anxiety, which smoothed out over time and then I just kind of dazed off slowly, to somewhat of a zombified state I am in now. I've had much worse, but this is tiring as well. Actually I think I'm "coming down" and I'm slowly starting to feel better. So my question is: Does anyone have any experience with Oxazepam here? And what dosage is most effective for you? This has only been the second time I have tried it, and it's just too much for me. Perhaps if there's a next time, I'll try 2,5 mg's.. Kind of hard to split a 10mg pill any smaller than that. Just hate the sedation that comes with it..
    23 Points
  27. Merkan

    Starting a youtube channel for HPPDonline

    I think this would be a great "next step" for the community. We have testemonies coming up and a lot of other stuff could be made available, like Dr.A interview etc. I stepped down as admin for a long time ago and have no wish to jump on that train but i think it would be a good idea if the channel is controlled/approved by David. Perhaps Jay can put up vids that are being produced as some kinda basic quality control. Of course Jay (or anyone else with the support from David and the community must want to do this. No pressure. Then its up to the community to provide relevant material.
    21 Points
  28. brendan

    dna methylation/epigenetics

    This post has been promoted to an article
    21 Points
  29. http://voguerx.net/home/ is a romania based overseas supplier without prescription ive been useing for years.. 3 month supply of benzos = cheaper then 1 psyche visit. this is illegal and dont be dumb and order thousands of pills. theyll send it, one time i ordered 500 valium(that was a few months ago) but thatd be a horrid charge if customs happened to get it. customs always overlook a few month supply and at worse send you what we refer to as a "love letter" lettin you know its unlawful, and its more of a scare tactic then anything.. and the site is so discreet with packageing, ordering 100pills to get you by is very safe. cut out the middle man! psychiatrists are retarded, you know your mind better then them on every turn.. dont try benzos unless you were atleast prescribed to them for mental disorder prior or atleast have enough street knowledge to self medicate safly. peace.
    20 Points
  30. Survey

    HPPD GRANTS AVAILABLE

    This post has been promoted to an article
    19 Points
  31. Joon

    What song are you listening too?

    Going to start his one up again Hudson Mohawke - Fuse
    19 Points
  32. Spartan

    Starting a youtube channel for HPPDonline

    yeah lets do it we would kick ass over visual snow anyday lol
    19 Points
  33. ^^^ damn loratemazepam? Where can I get some of that? Sounds like a super benzo.
    19 Points
  34. hope1

    NSI-189 Group Buy

    Anyone interested please PM to get on the list.
    19 Points
  35. I read on his FB page that he had some serious health issues back in August.
    19 Points
  36. bpl4269

    "poem" I wrote about hppd

    Trudging through the mental anguish I'm unwillingly forced to endure. Slumber transforms into my subconcious sanctuary. An escape from the disturbing reality that plagues my waking existence. I arise from a deep slumber. My visual cortex is immediately bombarded with external stimuli of insignificant nature. Dissociation disrupts my fragile sense of self, and the weight of the world rests heavy on my weakened shoulders. This is my reality.
    19 Points
  37. I made some changes but certainly can use the help of others that are more scientifically inclined
    18 Points
  38. mbellamy09

    Medication Trial: Dr. Abraham

    This post has been promoted to an article
    18 Points
  39. Also the qEEG results are something definetly of note.
    17 Points
  40. hppd33

    Success Stories

    Isnt missjes doing something like that now in brazil?
    16 Points
  41. bpl4269

    Thinking a lot about death

    Lately Ive been tantalizing myself with the fantasy of death. I find the thought both terrifying and comforting. It seems as if I have irreversibly destroyed my life. I strive so very much for improvement of some kind, yet all I am met with is false hope and broken dreams. I love my family very much, and I know deep down that I would never take my life, but this journey we call life is more than I can bear. Every relationship ive ever had is shattered or broken in some way, and Ive burned every bridge ive built. So in turn, Im left with absolutely nothing. No self esteem, hardly any hope, broken relationships, and no one who cares to take the time to understand my plight. You people are all that I have. However pitiful that may sound, it is comforting to me that someone somewhere is going through this with me. Ive been waiting to get this off my chest. I find that when I spill my thoughts out on paper, or in this case an internet forum, I feel a little less depressed. Thanks for reading if you are somehow still with me. I guess im done :-/
    16 Points
  42. brickhouse50

    Fasting to cure HPPD

    Please reference thread http://www.bluelight.ru/vb/threads/688613-Fasting-to-cure-HPPD Hello folks. I've been suffering from mild HPPD for a few years now (snow, perceptual distortions, "sometimes feels like I'm starting to trip"). I've been fasting intermittently lately to attack other problems (mental fog and stress mainly). But as a side effect, I also noticed that it makes the HPPD symptoms disappear, in as little as a few days. One thing I've noticed that really makes the symptoms go away fast is fasting (as in, caloric restriction of food). In fact, fasting is even purported to cure schizophrenics http://orthomolecular.org/library/jom/1974/pdf/1974-v03n04-p301.pdf Fasting is known to be incredibly effective for improving the brain: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/20534972/ http://www.marksdailyapple.com/fasting-brain-function/ Fasting may even help restore the brain from other forms of drug abuse. Give it a shot and let me know what you guys think. I did an 11 day water fast, and I have not had any symptoms of HPPD since, and actually totally forgot about being bothered by it earlier I think overeating wrecks your brain simply because it causes dopamine to be released, and your current neuronal state (of which if you have HPPD, has some kinks) to be reinforced. When you stop eating, AS I UNDERSTAND IT, your brain starts falling back to more previous, earlier versions of neuronal states and networks (healthier ones BEFORE YOU HAD HPPD), in an attempt to "remember" where food was/could have been (and that's why your dreams become so vivid... your brain is deconstructing the less beneficial "HPPD-tainted" neuronal connections and reactivating/reinforcing your older HPPD-less connections. I support my theory by presenting the following article (and all others on fasting seem to be similar): http://www.theguardian.com/society/2012/feb/18/fasting-protect-brain-diseases-scientists "When resources became scarce, our ancestors would have had to scrounge for food," said Mattson. "Those whose brains responded best – who remembered where promising sources could be found or recalled how to avoid predators — would have been the ones who got the food. Thus a mechanism linking periods of starvation to neural growth would have evolved." "The cells of the brain are put under mild stress that is analogous to the effects of exercise on muscle cells," said Mattson. "The overall effect is beneficial."
    15 Points
  43. Ghormeh Sabzi

    I have tested positive for Lyme disease

    I have yet to decide how to proceed but I thought I'd let the community know. I got tested due to some unusual symptoms that I have as well as a history of red markings on my legs that lasted a month a couple of years ago.
    15 Points
  44. File Name: Coluracetam for HPPD File Submitter: onedayillsailagain File Submitted: 18 Aug 2013 File Category: HPPD Research Articles Here's the PDF version of the Coluracetam article.. Haha why didn't I think of this earlier? Oh well. Click here to download this file
    15 Points
  45. mikethemerc1

    Success Stories

    I explained my story 8-10 months for my first recovery now I'm dealing with a secondhand pot relapse or PTSD or whatever I'm confident ill beat this again but I'm on month 2 of my relapse
    15 Points
  46. bryan12231

    Mushrooms and a cure for DP/dr

    Call me crazy and it wasn't really an intentional trial. I was offered to try mushers the past weekend and I was very reluctant due to my hppd. Almost not having tripped in over 2 to 3 years I dumbassedly did them. Coincidentally I woke up the next day feeling a bit more complete about myself and ever since the past weekend from this date I can say while my hppd hasn't changed my depersonalization has greatly decreased. I don't feel as depressed and I do still have instances where everything feels surreal I have a more sense of calm about everything. Now I'm not saying repeat after me. Just thought I'd like to share my experience. I remember going into it fearfully thinking what have I done but come out with a new perspective on my condition.
    14 Points
  47. mbellamy09

    Lamictal

    Well I went and saw my neurologist today and he said he researched depersonalization and stuff and wanted to start me out on lamictal. I actually never heard of it so like with all medicines I searched for it in here and seems promising so I'm gonna start it when I wake up. I've noticed a couple people say visuals got worse while on it, I was wondering if that was permanent or it went away when you stopped?
    14 Points
  48. As you all know, there hasn't always been a certain link between HPPD and the genetic predisposition it may impose. I have some interesting facts to share with you, as you know, I have HPPD, but.. so does my brother. Another interesting fact is that my mother has suffered from Migraines basically since I can remember, now if this isn't something to do with genetics involving Migraines and or a predisposition, it's one hell of a coincidence. Please share your thoughts and I'll try and answer any question you have.
    14 Points
  49. Well I can attest for at least a two hour period I came to be 99.9999% normal all thanks to this board and dr. Abraham. I spent most of that time crying tears of joy.
    14 Points
  50. bpl4269

    st johns wort

    So I havent been active lately on this website. Mostly because im just trying to live my life with as little reminders as possible about hppd. So lately ive been taking st johns wort and it has helped immensly with my depersonalization. I feel closer and closer to the person I was and now am. Reality is now within my grasp. Im getting motivation again and im so happy about that. Ive been going on long bike rides every day,eating organic food, and taking tons of healthy good supplements. I believe my depersonalization was due to a serotonin deficiency. I should also mention that I got a little carried away and thought I could smoke some weed again. Strangely it did not affect my depersonalization, but it drastically affected my visuals. Thankfully the geometric patterning I was seeing while high did not stay, but the weed did make my trailing of lights and pisitive after images slightly worse. I do have hope though that they will diminish again with healthy diet and exercise. So to conclude this thread, i highly suggest st johns wort for depersonlization. Give it a couple weeks or more though. It could take a little time to kick in. Stay healthy and happy guys. You can get through this.
    13 Points