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  1. 2 points
    A pleasure to meet you Annie! Thanks for dropping in--its so nice to see someone willing to take an active role in understanding and helping another with HPPD We don't see a whole lot of people like you coming on and it's quite refreshing. Lets see what would I want my significant other to know... Probably just what you are doing now. Try and empathize with his struggles with it! He really seems to have things under control though. Im glad to hear he is sober as that is a must for almost all with hppd (I guess those with very very light hppd can still enjoy substances but usually nothing heavy and only in moderation). What someone needs when they are in a relationship with HPPD varies greatly from individual to individual. Don't push him to talk about it, but it doesn't hurt to tell him if he ever wants to you'll be there to listen and not judge. I'd definitely want them to know how much stress can inflame this disorder and that its important that they are a positive influence in my life in that regard. This doesn't mean we cant be at odds at time (what couple isnt) but it does mean that I would like to handle disagreements in as mature a fashion as possible as to minimize stress. I know that if I was dating someone with hppd, I would take extra precaution to not stress them out even when I'm mad/hurt/feeling off because I would know I'm actually making them sick when I do inflict stress. Sometimes I get very overwhelmed with the thought that I'm never going to get better or the old me is lost forever. It can be nice to have someone who will listen to such things and tell me they enjoy me for who I am now. Mostly I would just like my significant other to know that the way I experience the world is vastly different than they do. At times it can be very overwhelming and more important than anything is just that they provide support and love as I would them. Being in a healthy relationship can really help a person with HPPD as it provides such a magical sense of safety and mental comfort. If you have any questions about HPPD feel free to PM me
  2. 2 points
    Bit like going on a recovering alcoholics forum and posting vids of you necking whiskey. Hard to not feel like we are being trolled. I hope you are not doing severe damage and that you can get passed this. Good luck, Jay
  3. 2 points
    Your video has been removed on the grounds of copyright You are smoking a joint in the thumb nail. You have posted videos Of you on acid and mushrooms. And to be honest no cares what you have to say when you are in this self destructive state of mind. Post a real video with helpful information and people will care and comment back.
  4. 2 points
    David, excellent post! In my experience hppd is quite uncommon. I'm still in touch with the people I dosed with decades ago. I was the only one who ended up with this condition. Granted, that's a small sample size of about a dozen people. That being said none of them had even heard of anyone with long term post-dose symptoms. Understand that we indulged nearly continually for quite a few years. This is just about the only place I post. The internet is a place I find unnerving and prefer to keep a low profile. My point? I don't know really. Your post just got me thinking. K.B. I hear what you're saying about the 60s generating acting like drug use was a badge of honor. In the late 60s I was a pre-teen who was fascinated by these stories. I couldn't wait to give it a try. My drug use was at best misguided and at worst, self destructive. Raising kids is hard but as parents we need to set a healthy example. I was very blunt with my kids when it came to drugs. I realized the mandatory DARE program in the US was telling them half truths and they knew it. Because of that a lot of kids thought the dangers were lies fashioned as a means of control. That being said, I didn't open up about my use until they were out of college. Again, I don't have a point really. Just thoughts tumbling in the brain.
  5. 2 points
    I'm honestly convinced the Baby Boomer generation is the source of so many problems today. They were a huge reason for why Trump got elected. They harbor most of the racist beliefs in the U.S. They're materialistic. They aren't all that keen on science. And as you've alluded to, they don't seem particularly interested in admitting anything that came from the 60s was damaging when in fact that whole era ripped the U.S. apart. My dad is a perfect example. All he did was brag about how much drugs he did when he was young. I looked up to him so of course I tried to do the same. Look where I ended up. Also, as you've stated, there's such a strong inclination to disbelieve HPPD because by doing so they'd have to admit LSD isn't the miracle drug they all thought it was. My only questions is where neurology comes into all this. HPPD is so clearly a brain malfunction and needs study in that regard. I don't at all see HPPD as an emotional disorder with neurological side effects but rather quite the opposite. It's the visual distortions that precipitate the emotional struggles. It's so obvious based on the decades of this disorder existing and on my own experience that the standard mental health practitioner has absolutely no clue what this is or how to deal with it. I really feel like this is something that needs the attention of neurologists given our symptoms align so much more with those that brain specialists spend a lifetime analyzing.
  6. 2 points
    I don't consider myself old (I'm 29), but I honestly can't believe all the drugs kids are doing these days. They're all manufactured and have names that sounds like Star Wars robots. These just don't sound safe on a surface level. Who's making them? What's in them? Is there any organic compounds or is it all just chemicals mixed together? I never knew HPPD existed prior to getting it but if someone had approached me about trying some of these new-age designer drugs I would have suspected they weren't safe to begin with. I'm not at all trying to say this is your fault, so please don't take it that way. I feel bad for you just like I do anyone that gets HPPD. I just don't get why people are putting all these mystery drugs into their bodies these days. When I was growing up, which really wasn't that long ago, it was just weed, shrooms, acid and occasionally a painkiller or some cocaine here or there and that was it. I really worry about HPPD growing exponentially with all these new drugs out there...
  7. 2 points
    Everytime i look at this topic: Why am I getting worse?!........................'Cause you're an asshole...............that's why.........and God hates you..........j/k sorry couldn't help it lol
  8. 1 point
    I didn't quit cannabis, it quit me. I used to smoke every day all day long. Very suddenly it started giving me panic attacks. I also stopped dosing around the same time because I knew something was wrong. You may be having a similar reaction. What if you took a break for a while? You might find that your visuals and anxiety improve. Cannabis induced anxiety is quite common. I've smoked roughly 10 times (roughly) since I quit. I always have a bad reaction. Recreational cannabis will soon be legal where I live. I couldn't care less. It's not for me. I use meditation to deal with anxiety and stress. Great medicine for a hectic world.
  9. 1 point
    Welcome. For some people the symptoms go away, for others they don't. In my case they didn't go away completely but they've significantly improved over the years. It's only been five months since your last experience. Give yourself some time to bounce back. I believe the single best thing you can do for yourself is to stay away from psychoactive substances including cannabis. Exercise, a good diet, staying focused, and a positive attitude can also be very helpful. Even if your symptoms don't go away you can pursue your dreams and it doesn't necessarily mean that your intellectual abilities have been comprised. Testimonial: I dosed heavily for over 6 years. I don't know how many times I dosed but it was a lot. I ended up with visuals that I have almost 40 years later and will probably have for the rest of my life. I managed to get an advanced degree, get married, raised some amazing kids, and have had a happy life. I'm nobody special and I'm not saying this to sound like a big shot. What I'm trying to say is having hppd doesn't necessarily mean you can't move forward with your life. The fact that you're getting help with anxiety and that you're doing so well is an excellent sign. Anxiety, for many, can be one of the more debilitating symptoms of hppd. As for the visuals, chances are that those will improve over time if you stay clean. While I still have visuals they have significant improved. I used to have intense closed eye visuals and those are almost completely gone. I would take some time to read through some of the threads here. There are some bright people who post and there is some really good advise. Doing so helped me understand where I was on the "hppd spectrum" and helped me realize that this condition wasn't unique to me. Hang in there and take care.
  10. 1 point
    Hi Annie, The very best thing my wife does for me is to allow me space if I am quiet and to understand that it is not her fault in any way when I am distant. Sometimes small talk is hellish, even with the people we love. You probably know this feeling from suffering with anxiety yourself.
  11. 1 point
    Hello(: my name is Annie, and I started dating my amazing boyfriend Kai a few months ago. I love him, absolutely crazy about him. He has HPPD with a sister diagnosis of anxiety. I do not have HPPD but I do suffer from GPD and Social anxiety. So I understand his anxiety. This is where my question comes from; if you were dating someone, and you have hppd, what would you want them to know? Kai is a little closed off about it, because he is now 5 years sober from drugs, and 3 year sober from alcohol so he really doesn’t like going into the details of it, and what he did when he was under the influence. So what would you want your significant other to know, recognize, do to help, etc.? I know his medications, when he should take them, what makes his visuals worse and all that but I want to do more for him. Thank you for reading and responding!! (:
  12. 1 point
    Same old, same old really.... But hppd aside, life is ok... Riding the bitcoin rocket to the moon and have a nice job in the VR industry (when the tech advances, I have some interesting ideas on potentially helping hppd in VR) Hope you are well
  13. 1 point
    thats a good idea man, the reason i think its in my head is because i was convinced i was having a cardiac arrest for 6 months straight after reading the symptoms, and I only started to feel this after reading about it
  14. 1 point
    i don't want to give you medical advice because i'm just a 16 year old who knows nothing about anything, so consult with a doctor?
  15. 1 point
    in general people mainly see visuals when they smoke with hppd, i myself felt like the visuals i had was stronger than any dose of acid i have taken, i was smoking O.G kush so. did the cbd strain did anything for you or na?
  16. 1 point
    jeez, i don't know cole. have you tried a purely cbd strain?
  17. 1 point
    If you had it really bad you wouldn't need to post something like this, you'd just know it. Don't do drugs again, live healthy and be thankful you aren't living in a dreamland acid trip everyday like many are. As long as you stay away from drugs you should be alright.
  18. 1 point
  19. 1 point
    I'm off all my HPPD symptoms! Cross eye does still exists but I don't get headaches anymore so I can easily ignore it. How's it going with you guys?!
  20. 1 point
    I am making some cosmetic, functional and other changes to the website to test features and see if it will handle some future plans. I have had some very challenging years, but now I have the plans to implement and I am fearless. Also, I get really pissed off when the HPPD story is told incorrectly on large government-funded websites, drug treatment centers and places I would never have thought HPPD would even appear. Even to the relatively educated Psychadelic class, the idea that LSD could cause HPPD was at best an overstated condition, and at worst (most common) it was considered to be a myth. I must admit that the "Millenials" have really tried to reduce the stigma associated with the disorder just by joining Facebook groups for HPPD. Some of you have created videos, music, blogs and for me to see HPPD listed in online pamphlets for drug-addict treatment centers is AMAZING and SCARY. It is amazing that the information I have noticed is stating that HPPD of the Consistent Visual Type is real. Previously, flashbacks were recognized, but not the long lasting visual disturbances. That is Amazing. We owe it to you, the members before you and to the majority of the researchers who haven't slanted their datasets. This is Scary. I would rather have no study that a bad study. If a case report is published where a person is diagnosed with HPPD based on two criteria (1. Patient states they are experiencing hallucinations & 2. The patient stated the hallucinations began with the drug). The individual is treated with Risperdal (risperidone), which is recognized in multiple reports in the Archives of General Psychiatry and other literature (and many of our/my personal experience) to exacerbate HPPD. Consequently, there is a study that states a person with HPPD was cured with a drug normally contraindicated for the treatment of HPPD. The error is the diagnosis. If this was a freshman in college with a family history of schiophrenia, and who had early signs of a disorder belonging to psychosis, it should have been identified as Hallucinogen-induced Psychosis and part of the HPPD syndrome is that drugs like Risperdal make it worse. So, I have three studies. I am applying to a clinical mental health program and seeking an advanced graduate certification that would enable me to open up a clinic, practice counseling with a legal clinical license and this is my life plan. I would like to get hired at the Lab of the school I am applying to, and do so with my own research funding. (I know, I have promised a lot of things lately, but it seems there is always a crisis, but if I can eat and spend 4 hours a day to this project we will have these studies completed before I am finished.) Additionally, the degree will allow me to legally diagnose individuals that have HPPD with the formal diagnosis of HPPD. I would be a dedicated clinician to HPPD and related disorders, and if that doesn't use up enough time then I will work with individuals with opiate and benzodiazepine addiction. Creating a humane Withdrawal Protocol for Benzodiazepines in America would be one of the most significant contributions to addiction medicine since the biological model. I asked people to sign up to my YouTube channel, and I am at 25. However, I had nothing of value posted on my channel yet. Now, it has changed. Two sections of an interview with Dr. Henry David Abraham, where I asked questions and Dr. A answer about two very important sections on HPPD. I found them after many years, and they are from 2001. My youtube page is: Here are some images of HPPDonline.com and NODID through the years.
  21. 1 point
    I feel like psychologists don't understand hppd because it varies, not one person's hppd is the exact same. My personal belief is that hppd is mental illness or brain damage done by rcs. The brain is obviously wired differently for people who are susceptible to hppd as opposed to the people that aren't. There's a reason for that. People are born with these hallucinations not knowing what the hell they are so they say oh i have hppd. My brother has severe autism, sees static, and weird hallucinations, whose to say I am not on the spectrum just because I haven't been diagnosed, at this point it might make sense.
  22. 1 point
    To piggyback on this subject and what I posted in David's thread, what essentially got absorbed into the culture from the 60s was the idea that drugs were the key to "expanding your mind" when in fact it was Eastern philosophy, Jungian psychology, the foundations laid by the Beat poets and Avant Guard art and of course the war in Vietnam. All of these things collided and though drugs were a part of it they were't the only part and yet past generations have really looked past how holistic the 60s were. Meditation, spirituality, philosophy, enlightenment and seeing the world differently is where so many from that era ended up, with better lives, more happiness, more peace and understanding about the world, and yet popular culture just seems intent on linking the 60s to LSD as if it was the catalyst that revolutionized everything. I apologize for ranting but I've been studying on this era lately and it's just all the more frustrating to be in my position, to know there were all sorts of cases of mental collapse related to LSD and drugs back then and yet everyone just overlooked it and wrote it off and never seemed willing to admit that these drugs weren't all that safe. Did they expand people's minds? I know many people have felt that way, but they also ruined people's lives and nobody wanted to admit that fact. Long story short: If you truly want enlightenment you must obtain it through sobriety, through healthy living, through vulnerability, through volunteer work, through friendship, family, understanding history and artistic expression and everything else that makes being a human worthwhile. Hijacking your brain with chemicals for a few hours of increased dopamine isn't going to expand your mind. It might make you feel good, then again it also might get you HPPD. But living a sober, healthy lifestyle brings nothing but positives and can open you up to becoming an authentic, joyous human being in ways you never thought possible.
  23. 1 point
    Sobriety has treated me well. There was a time where I felt life without drugs would be dull and unexciting. I've found the opposite to be true. I'm not a religious sort, but every sober day feels like a miracle. Sounds stupid, but that's how it registers in my coconut.
  24. 1 point
    Give yourself some time. A couple of months isn't much. Staying clean is the single best thing you can do for yourself. Keep up the jogging, exercise is good too! Try not to be pessimistic. Chances are your symptoms will improve as long as you stay clean. A positive attitude goes a long way. KB, I agree. The chemicals available now are scary. They have no track record and they're constantly tweaking these molecules so they're "legal". People, be careful!
  25. 1 point
    I forgot. Those images are not very clear, but anyone can look up hppdonline.com at the Internet Way Back machine, and see how much this community has done. There is some very useful information contained in this archive, which would take forever to download unless someone who is very savvy could obtain the files they have in their archive. I have begged people to follow my youtube channel, and I realized I wrote about this in the message above, but YouTube is ADHD crack, and I forgot to include the link. AND CLICK SUBCRIBE. Click Watch on the boring watch video. 10,000 Views is an important Metric. I will put up more videos, but these 2 are classic: CLICK ME TO SEE DR. ABRAHAM VIDEOS: https://www.youtube.com/DavidKozinVerified
  26. 1 point
    I use Lorazepam and Clonazepam, but I don't take it every day... All of these meds are highly addictive and will cause major problems in a few years, if taken every day. This is how I avoid addiction/tolerance: Lorazepam (2.5mg) - Thursday 6pm Clonazepam (1mg) - Friday 9am Clonazepam (1mg) - Saturday 9am Lorazepam (2.5mg) - Sunday 9am Every 2-3 months, I have 2 weeks completely free of meds to make sure I am not seeing any signs of addiction. This has worked for 10 years or so and brings me relief for nearly 4 days per week.
  27. 1 point
    These spikes will come and go... But they will go. You just have to ride them out and, as K.B.Fante said, try to pinpoint the problem that caused the spike. It is usually stress related, for me, but can even be down to weather (low pressure systems seem to spike me up).
  28. 1 point
    My dude, you're gonna be fine. Give yourself some time and try not to think about it. For me I thought the same way, how am I gonna perform in school, an I gonna be able to live a happy life, I contemplated it all. I've been getting better and so can you, give yourself some time man
  29. 1 point
    There's lots of posts about sleep here. Many struggle with insomnia. I went through an intense bout after benzo withdrawal where I couldn't sleep more than about four or five hours for three months straight. It pretty much destroyed by brain. The best things I've found have been meditation, addressing whatever anxiety or substance is leading to your insomnia and then of course there are the medicinals like teas and pills that can help as well. The thing is if you don't locate the exact thing that's causing your anxiety or sleeplessness in the first place then you're not ever going to get the proper sleep you need. Eating healthy, cutting back drastically on carbs, sugars caffeine, etc., will also go a really long way to helping you feel tired at night. As far as teas and pills go, I've had tons of success with chamomile, lavender, lemon balm and some other potent sleep teas. Some magnesium at night will also help a lot. Make sure your bedroom is really dark, quiet, somewhat cold and smells good from a candle or incense or essential oil diffuser too. If you find the root cause of your insomnia and take a holistic approach to addressing your overall sleep habits you should be able to get it under control sooner rather than later.