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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

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  1. 2 points
    I want to preface that my symptoms are/were severe. Ranging from mild annoyances like visual snow, palinopsia, tinnitus, headaches, muscle twitching to severe problems like sicca dryness, mental disorientation, fatigue, chronic muscle tightness causing sharp pains, GI dysmotility and intestinal pseudo-obstruction. I basically developed a brutal form of HPPD. After some recent GI-related problems, I was tested thoroughly by a doctor looking for answers. By stroke of luck, I tested positive for something that explains very well a large portion of my symptoms. I have positive antibodies for Ganglionic ACHr (acetylcholine) alpha-3 receptor. Here's a paper with more detail: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3764484/ I'm not really sure how many others here would test positive for the same receptor. It has been studied, and while very rare, does not accurately describe and represent HPPD-type symptoms of visual distortion (although I believe mood related problems are connected). But, what I realized for the first time is that it's not just a problem of receptors not functioning properly, but also my immune system is actively involved in the process of disrupting my neural communication. Antibodies connect to the receptor and therefore block my ACHr from working properly. So, any discussion of my receptor malfunctioning is somewhat moot. The receptor is targeted by immune system to block its function. Fuck you immune system. Don't know what this means yet, but while I'm still working to make connections to all sides, it does explain why Prednisone (immunosuppresive therapy) has been effective for me in the past. EDIT: Don't know why I forgot, but the auto-antibody for acetylcholine actually DOES have implications on the visual system. As shown in the paper, people with this antibody has impaired reflexive pupils causing photophobia. Bingo.
  2. 2 points
    You don't sound "dumb" at all. You have a real concern and you're seeking information. I wish I had done that when I first had symptoms. Unfortunately, at that time, there was no Internet. MJ is really powerful these days. I have a few friends who have never dosed who claim weed produces visual and auditory hallucinations. You may be experiencing the same thing. You dosed recently and the brain can hang onto those "memories" for a while. Consuming weed might be triggering what was "learned" during those experiences. My advice would be to stay away from hallucinogenic substances including weed at least for a while. It can't hurt, right? I'm no expert on hppd and I'm not a medical professional. That being said, if you do have early hppd symptoms, you don't want to ignore them. In my opinion (an uneducated one) it doesn't sound like you have hppd but don't take chances by continuing to use hallucinogens. Hppd can be debilitating condition so give yourself a break to see where you stand. Regarding your prescription, I'm not suggesting you discontinue medication prescribed by a doctor. I hope that helps. Take care of yourself.
  3. 2 points
    I got HPPD three years ago now. I've made many posts here during that span and have tried to make a post every year around my anniversary. I'm a little late on this one but I actually take that as a good sign. It means I'm not as obsessed with my condition and therefore am getting better. I guess I've already said everything I need to in other posts. I can't really summarize everything that's happened to me over the last three years without writing a book. There's just so much that's happened ever since getting HPPD. I've had all kinds of additional health problems since and am currently in the process of dealing with another health issue that's really taken a great toll on my life. It's just crazy looking back now after three years. I'm not even the same person. I've learned so much about myself, my family, my health history, the world, life, everything. It's crazy to say but this whole experience has absolutely made me a more complete person. I really think my brain had faulty wiring from an early age and that, as painful as this experience has been (I wouldn't wish it on anybody in the history of the world), it was necessary for me to finally face my past and overcome demons that had haunted me silently since the day I was born. I still have many visual problems but they're very manageable now and don't really interfere with my daily routine, which is absolutely remarkable to say -- just absolutely astonishing considering how bad my HPPD and DP were even a few years ago. I truly had a terrible case of HPPD. My brain just totally crapped out. The amount of pain I've had to deal with every day for the last three years is nothing short of inhumane and mind blowing, to be quite honest. So the fact I'm able to cope with HPPD after all this is truly astonishing. It just goes to show that this condition is something you can heal from, although it takes more work than you could have ever imagined. If you want to get better you have to eat real food, exercise every day, do as many healthy habits as you can fit into your day, and most importantly you have to never give in or never give up. If I had a dollar for every time I thought of killing myself over the last three years I'd be a very wealthy man. But I never did. And look where I'm at now. I'm so happy to be alive and I feel like I'm seeing the world through a totally different set of eyes and a brain that very few people on this planet would understand. Life is so beautiful, and it's only that way because of what I've been through. Anyway, I imagine I've got another two or three years before I can say I'm totally healed, and I honestly may never be quite 100 percent again, but I'm OK with that. I'm just so grateful to even be alive at this point, I'll take anything I can get. If anybody has questions I can try and answer below. I think I have a pretty good idea of what HPPD is and how to cope and heal, but of course I'm no doctor and neither is anybody here. But I do think it's important to keep this community alive and pass on knowledge so others may benefit. As long as you stay away from drugs, eat healthy, exercise, remain mindful day in and day out, I think you'll give yourself a great shot at recovery.
  4. 1 point
    This is a compound I haven’t seen a whole lot about on this forum. Years ago, I read pretty much the entire longecity thread about it and was surprised more of us didn’t try it as it appears to promote healing in the hippocampus at least. I probably would have tried it back then had I been able to find an easy and reputable source. The patent holder was really shutting things down. and then, very much by accident, I stumbled across it on the irc.bio website and immediately ordered both the sulfate and freebase. It was kind of an impulse decision, as I’m not even sure I’m going to take it. I just couldn’t help myself as I’m kind of a collector of strange supplements and medications at this point. Anyway, if anyone is interested in trying it, it’s there for the taking. Pretty sure irc Bio is closing it’s doors soon though due to increased laws about SARMs and that’s 75 percent of their business.
  5. 1 point
    DMT is why I am here. I had an amazing life with so much potential. It turned it all to complete hell, a flame of torment in my brains senses daily, sleeping was the only time I had peace for months, and waking was my nightmare. Based on that I think you can reason for yourself if it’s a good idea.
  6. 1 point
    1.5 months update : Nothing has really changed. Ghosting disappears and reappears randomly, looks like it is dependent of how much I sleep that's all. On 500-600mg twice a day. I am switching between different brands occasionally, switched to Solgar as well as an ebay one.
  7. 1 point
    I didn't really want to say it but episode 2 in your other post made me think of a typical schizophrenia/psychosis episode. I would NOT touch that shit if I were you. You're better off smoking joints than smoking DMT if you really want to get high off something. Or stick to just drink a few beers and get a little drunk from time to time and keep it that way. To all the people who want to consume psychs, I'd say do not try them until we found a successful and one-size-fits-all treatment for HPPD.
  8. 1 point
    No, you're not going to find the answer you want!.... Especially with regards to DMT. That's pure mental russian roulette.
  9. 1 point
    Hey guys, Just thought I would add a quick post for anyone who's interested. I saw my psych doctor a few days ago, and he's decided to start me on an antidepressant called Mirtazapine. Mirtazapine is a tetracyclic antidepressant, one that is relatively new to the market compared to most tricyclic and SSRI anti depressants. It's day 3 now, and so far I am absolutely loving this medication. I had let my psych doc know that most SSRI's that I have tried have exacerbated my symptoms by a fair margin, and that I had to stop taking them. He gave me this one to try out. As with all anti depressants and HPPD, it does affect the way you perceive the HPPD a little bit, but what separates Mirtazapine from other SSRI's is that Mirtazapine plays nicely with my HPPD. My visual symptoms have not gotten any worse, although the way that my body perceives the HPPD is a little bit different. What i'm loving about this med is that it's pretty much completely taken care of depersonalization and derealization, while also working wonders for my depression and anxiety. I think once you've found a med that tackles DP/DR and anxiety and depression all at the same time, it makes dealing with the visual symptoms a very minor disturbance. Not everyone has had luck with mirtazapine, but I guess im one of the lucky ones here, as it is easily the best medication if taken for my HPPD by a long shot. Just thought I would start a topic as I really believe that this medication is worth a try if you find yourself struggling with DP/DR and anxiety+depression all at the same time. If any of you guys have questions feel free to ask! I'm on 15mg once daily, and il be staying at this dosage for a full month before I titrate. The maximum dosage of this medication is 45mg daily.
  10. 1 point
    Back in the mid-80s I had an encounter with a doctor who was a real piece of work. I told him about my visuals. I told him that I was no longer using drugs (not totally true, I was drinking). His response was basically "you deserve what you get for taking illegal drugs". He was real nasty about it. I made some comment (to the best of my recollection) that he was one hell of a doctor for making a comment like that. Needless to say, I never saw that doctor again. I've never mentioned this disorder to any other doctor since. Doctors are people, therefore they are flawed. Like any other cross section of humanity there will be a certain percentage of jerks.
  11. 1 point
    My HPPD Guide Hello guys, I have had hppd for 5 years now, and would like to share the experience i have with what works, and what does not. This guide is panned mostly towards people who have just gotten HPPD, but i hope even seasoned HPPDers will find something useful in this guide. My life with HPPD has been a long road of trial and errors regarding which supplements/meds that are helpful, and if this guide can be helpful to just one person in their Post-HPPD lives, then it has fulfilled its purpose. From my perspective the most important thing about hppd is beeing able to have consistency in your life, waking up in the morning and feeling like you have a connection to the person that you were yesterday, not just emotionally, but in perspective and mind sharpness. This and also how to tame and cure the ocean of anxiety that follows, and often remains for some time after a person has first entered HPPD, or has a HPPD relapse (worsening of symptoms in a person that has already has HPPD) Meds to kill off anxiety Agomelatine I first got HPPD when i was 17 years old, at this time, this was a horrible experience for me. I was feeling so anxious that i was reported as sick from school, for 3 months, followed by another 3 months of summer holiday. during this 6 month period, i locked myself in my room at my parents house and was in a very poor state emotionally. The days went by and i was not feeling alot of improvement, i eventually got some Zopiclone (Benzo-ish) from a doctor and felt some remedy from that, but only under the influence. As soon as the effects wore of, the anxiety came back. After a while the visual symptoms, (which consists of a spider web-like formation of floaters) became secoundary, it sucked having it in my vision. But it was the damn anxiety that made life almost unbearable for me. Luckily my doctor recommended Valdoxan (Agomelatin), (because i was not willing to accepts SSRI:s due to the side effects that other HPPD:ers had reported). When i first took valdoxan i was about 5 months into my HPPD. You are supposed to take it before sleep, but i have always taken valdoxan in daytime, cause its just not that sleep inducing, and the strongest effects are felt in the following hours after intake. The safest bet for around the clock anti-anxiety might be to take it both in the morning, and the evening. Anyways, i started to take valdoxan daily and felt immediate remedy. Like the first day i took it, it just killed of the anxiety for me. It was amazing, its not a very strong effect, it just kills that prefoundly felt anxiety and normalizes you. What i like most about Valdoxan is that you dont have to take it forever, after a couple weeks i stopped taking it because i was not feeling that i needed it anymore. At this point, my feelings had been modulated to a much better state, atleast 90% better then my baseline HPPD, seriously. I made the realization that during the 5 months after HPPD, and before taking Valdoxan. I had had a very linear line of anxiety, month 2 was not that different from month 4 etc. This kind of bummed me out and changed my perspective of what anxiety actually is and what causes it: chemical imbalance. Things that happen to us in life can cause our brains to just end up in a certain position, even if the brain hos no desire to be like that, it can be unable to change itself to a better state on its own. Sometimes we must help our brains to change by giving it the right tools (in this case meds) to do so. Neuroplasticity works both ways, make it work for you. Benzos Benzos is probably the most common anxiety-eating med for HPPD:ers, while alot of people seem to get remedy from Benzos, i dont do them. Im just not that anxious anymore. What i need mostly at this time in my life is sharpness and mind clarity. And for that, eating benzos might be counterproductive. But for killing anxiety, its definitely my number 2. Benzos also have arguably the worst withrawal symptoms of any drug on planet earth, another thing to consider... Ive seen that quite a few people around this forum are taking RC-benzos, i dont know a lot about RC-benzos specifically. But i am generally very cautious about about RC:s. If one can not obtain benzos through a doctor. Ive heard that there are these marketplaces on the Tor browser, where one can order traditional benzos with bitcoin, and recieve them in the mailbox. Smartest would probably be to order from a vendor located IN ones own country so that the benzos dont go trough customs, and to lower delivery time ofcourse. I would also make sure that i lived in a "Normal" country where 50 Clonazepam in the mailbox would only lead to a smaller fine if confiscated, and not jail-time or a cut off hand. Disclaimer, i condone any illicit activities. https://www.torproject.org/projects/torbrowser.html.en Where one can download Tor https://localbitcoins.com/ Where one can purchase bitcoin https://www.deepdotweb.com/dark-net-market-comparison-chart/ Where one can look at Markets on the torbrowser https://www.gpg4win.org/ Where one can encrypt his adress with PGP encryption 4 no:es and a maybe Caffeine, yes, unfortunatly HPPD:ers will never have the same relationship to coffe as they once did. Even if you find that you can have cup and feel just fine, if you continue drinking coffe daily, eventually it will lead to increased brain fog. I would recommend avoiding caffeine anywhere you can find it, Coca cola have small quantities of caffeine in it, aswell as decaf-coffe, which never truly is 100% decaffeinated. The next 3 will be lumped together, because they are all spices, namely Dill, Parsley and Nutmeg. What they all have in common is that they have small quantities of a substance called Myristicin in them, which is a stimulant, that shares som similairity with MDMA. If you accidentaly eat food with any of them in it, its fine, but for optimal sharpness longterm, i suggest you cook your own food, or eat food that you know contains neither of the 3 spices. The maybe is Chocolate, or Cocoa. Why? Because it contains a substance in it called Anandamide, which acts on the cannabinoid receptors and can linger in the body for up to 48 hours. I have anecdotally heard of several people that have eaten chocolate in the day, and then later ingested psycadelics or stimulants and ended up with HPPD. I suspect that chocolate is one of, or the main reason for my Ecstacy induced HPPD. What Significance does this have for people that are already in their Post-HPPD lives? It depends, even if i can eat a chocolate bar just fine now. If a person is in the early stages of HPPD, where visual differences are still starting to form in their your vision, i would stay away from Cocoa, as it might worsen symptoms. I would also make sure that i had not eaten any chocolate for the past 48 hours, if i ever were to do drugs again that might worsen HPPD (Something i strongly advise against). Things that i found useful for energy boost, since i cant drink Coffee anymore Nicotine Nicotine has been awsome for me since my baseline energy level is not the highest. Exept for energyboost, Nicotine has several other benefits for hppders aswell as it helps the wires in your brain to connect to eachother. I am certainly not insinuating that anyone should smoke a pack of cigarettes a day, which is very harmful. A much better option is to vaporize Nicotin e-juice instead, or alternativly drop e juice on the tongue for oral ingestion. Regarding e-juices i found that the organic ones are better, because they are often 100% VG (Vegetable Glycerin) and free of PG (Propylene glycol). PQQ, COQ10 (Ubiquinone) and Coconut triglycerides (Octane oil) These 3 are awsome for giving me not just an energyboost, but a much better focus in general. I take these daily in a dose of about 40mg of PQQ and 100mg of COQ10 Solved in Octane oil. There is already a product with these ingredients in it, And its called Unfair advantage, sold by Bulletproof.com, but ive found that its cheaper to buy PQQ and COQ10 in powder form, and then Buy Octane oil from Bulletproof (Marketed as Brain Octane on their site) to solve the powder in. While you can eat PQQ and COQ10 as is, solving it in Octane oil will increase bioavailability alot. Octane oil also gives additional energy. Diet Gluten Much can be said about how one should customize his/her diet for the most optimal health. I will keep it brief and firstly say that a gluten free diet might be a good idea. It wont make any prefound changes, but it certainly makes you feel fresher and more focused. Gluten is actually an opiate, which is not only hard for our stomachs to digest, but also gives these damn foodcomas. Excluding Gluten from the diet will prevent this and gives you more energy at your disposal. Fat Eating the right kinds of fat is essential to our health. My main pick is definetly Coconut fat, which is extremly nutritious and tastes fantastic. I use coconut milk in my cooking every day. Pick number 2 is Fish oil, alot of people eat caps with fish oil in them. I dont, but this is only because i eat fish basically every single day. Lastly, fat from avocados, while the price of avocados is quite high, i try to put a couple of them in my belly as often as i can, because they are awsome. I cant remember where but i read somewhere that there is something in Avocados that stimulates Neuroplasticity (the brains ability to rewire itself). My donts Apart from staying away from the 3 spices mentioned earlier in the text, i also stay away from Tomatoes, simply because it stimulates inflammation in the body, something that one might benefit from avoiding. Exercise Someone said that if you could recreate the effects that are going on in the brain when you are running and putting it into a pill. That pill would become the worlds most popular. I think there is definitely something to that. Sometimes when ive just been running 20KM and im sitting in the sauna and stretching my legs, and that runners high washes over me, i wonder if this the peak of my wellbeeing? It probably is, and its awsome. Protect your Eyes After i got HPPD ive become a bit more introverted, which has its positives and negatives, however, ive realised that a big chunk of my day is spend sitting behind a computer screen, while i enjoy this lifestyle, computer screens put strain on your eyes. To minimize this, an IPS screen is preferable over other screen types. Another good tip is to download a program called Flux, with it you can lower the light spectrum of the screen. It will look yellow, but you will get used to it. And your eyes will thank you. I bought myself a pair of Gunnar glasses to, but i rarly use them anymore. Since Flux does the trick for me. Oh, and also gojiberries, which are great for helping maintain optimal eyesight. https://justgetflux.com/ Nootropics Racetams and choline Taking racetams and choline has been shown to be helpful to some individuals with HPPD, ive taken aniracetam aswell as piracetam with choline, and it does increase focus a bit, but not very prefoundly. Its also important to take an adequate dose of choline to avoid adverse effects. Ultimately im a bit unsure about how i feel about the racetams, i would prioritize other things before them. But it might be worth it for someone who wishes to increase their mind sharpness. Choline as a supplement on its own tough, is a great supplement for memory enhancement. (Im hopeful that more Nootropics with usabillity in HPPD cases will come out in the future, if they do, ill make sure to include them in this Paragraph in a secound edition) Supplements This list could be made very long, but these are couple of the ones that i found to be helpful. Vitamin D Vitamin C Fishoil/Krilloil Magnesium L-theanine (suntheanine) not the green tea extract one, green tea has caffeine in it. Inositol (a bit of caution with this one, overdoing this makes me feel weird. But in right doses helps me with OCD) What to do for recreational enjoyment Alot of people in this community advocate complete sobriety. And while i cant argue with that standpoint. Complete sobriety has not been an option for me. With that said tough i would definitely stay away from drugs if i had recently gotten HPPD, or a HPPD relapse. Because in this time its vital for the mind to heal. Alcohol Alcohol is something i drink maybe 2-4 times a month. And its one of those things that i just do, it makes me relax a bit, stumble into some interesting conversation with friends, play Black Jack etc, i have never felt any adverse effects to my HPPD from drinking alchol, with one exeption, ill get to that. Alot of alcohol spirits are spiced with different things, and the 3 spices mentioned earlier in the text are present in some of them. Flashback, my ex girlfriend had these ritalin pills prescribed to her, and when i was 18, and ignorant of how to properly manage HPPD. I popped ritalin with her now and then, i did real amphetamine aswell a couple of times. And while i never got a relapse from these kinds of stimulants, i did feel a bit of increased snowiness in the vision aswell a slight tinnitus ringing in the ears after doing them. Anyways, i stopped with that stuff and returned to only doing Alcohol and ciggarettes for a while. Things were stable with my HPPD but after a night out in the mist, i experienced a hungover with an additional stimulant-adverse-effect to it. I was adamant to getting to the bottom of it all and eventually found out that my favorite spirit (Captain Morgan Original Spice Gold) had Nutmeg as an ingredient in it. As soulcrushing as this was, i understood that it was time to move over to non-spiced liquers from now on. And thats where i am still at today, i mostly drink Vodka, Light Tequila, and White Rum. Since making this change i havent had any adverse effects to my HPPD. I also enjoy Gluten free bears quite alot, which also has Hops in them. Hops is FUCKING amazing, it almost deserves a Paragraph of its own. You can purchase hops in pure form and make tea from it. Drinking hops tea soothes my soul. Weed Smoking weed with HPPD is highly controversial. But i still do it occasionally, i do it because i enjoy it, and i havent had any adverse effects from doing it, again, with exeptions. I prefer smoking weed before taking any other type of drug to be honest, it makes me calm, some people claim that its creativly a quality killer, but i just dont agree with that at all. Ive made some seriously good Concept art during the influence, aswell as other stuff which my sober mind is very pleased with. It calmes me down as good as a benzo, but it does 1000 other things aswell. I do glorify it quite alot, but i think rightly so, it is an awsome drug, objectivly. That said tough, it might not be suitable for everyone with HPPD. And smoking weed with HPPD requires an extra level of caution and attention to what it is that you are actually putting in your body. And if you are not willing to go the extra mile to make sure that you protect your own minds wellbeeing, i would advise against smoking weed at all. So, what ive found is the weed thats best suited for me is specifically strains with a THC content of 15-20% THC, 0,8-2% CBD and Indica dominant, i would go as high as 22%, but this is where im starting to feel my limit. Alot of popular cannabis strains have 25% or even more, that is something that is noteworthy. For example i tried an OG kush strain with 24% THC, and this was to much for me, it didint blow me out of the water, it didint worsen my HPPD, but it was just a to strong hitting effect for it to be enjoyable. The same strain tough, but crossed with Pinapple, (Pinapple kush) giving it 18% THC and 1,5% CBD, was absolutly fantastic. Everyones limit is their own, and finding where your limit lies is key to enjoying Cannabis. I have tried 5/5 strains with 1:1 ratio of THC:CBD, and that was just weird to me, it was not unpleasent, just underwhelming. Another thing worthy of mentioning is that you can boost Cannabis by ingesting Pinapple (yes, the fruit) and also Mango, its definitely noticable for me, which i found hilarious the first time i tried it. These fruits actually allows THC to cross the blood brain barrier and gives a stronger effect allround. The most important thing about Cannabis for HPPDers is ofcourse the SOURCE it comes from. Alot of people here have claimed to have relapses on Cannabis and to even have gotten HPPD from just smoking Cannabis itself. While i dont distrust these anecdotes, i do question the SOURCE that the cannabis came from, and the quality of the Cannabis. One time i experienced adverse effects from smoking cannabis. A sea of anxiety swept over me, it was painful, but it stopped eventually. What i had smoked was indeed Cannabis, but not only that, it was also SPICE, as in Synthetic Cannabinoids, a nasty drug, this was also during a time that alot of fuzz was going around in the media about kids dying from smoking Spice-blends. How do i know this? I drug tested myself, and both Cannabis and Spice where marked as present my urine. And to be honest it was just so blatantly obvious to me, but i wanted to objectify that mess anyways. Someone said that there is a whole generation of younger people in certain areas of the world, that have never experienced Natural Cannabis at all. The Police force in my country have made statments that about 70% of cannabis confiscated have been found to contain additional synthetic cannabinoids in them. And the number could be even higher, the latest urine drug test available can not sense all of the new variaties of RC Cannabinoids. Is there one single person in here that has gone into a dispensary in California, or in Vancouver, or a Coffeshop in Amsterdam, and purschased industrially grown Weed. And getting adverse effects on your HPPD? If so then i would love to hear you story. It is a well known fact that natural THC itself cannot overload the Cannabinoid receptor, synthetic cannabis on the other hand, can, and easily does so, hence why it causes overdoses and deaths. The moral of the story is that if you cant get proper weed, dont smoke. Wait, until you can instead. And if weed is not your thing, then dont touch it. I care for my fellow HPPDers and i think some of you seriously underestimate the magnitude of shit weed flouting around on the streets. Opiates Im not a big fan of opiates, but i have tried a few like Oxycontin, Tramadol, and Morphine. Doing opiates is very euphoric, but can be dangerous, not only because of the addictive properties of the drug. But also just the strong effects of it, i was nodding out on morphine at one time and it was just to much to be pleasant. Its safe from a HPPD perspective tough. Conclussion I hope for us as a community to create a guide for HPPD, however, it might be the case that people experience HPPD diferently, and thus, this guide might not be representative of all HPPD:ers. As ive mentioned earlier in the text, i got HPPD from ecstacy, I have a spiderwebb of floaters that follow my vision, if i do stimulants, like Ritalin or even Caffeine i experience brainfogg and tinnitus ringing in my ear. Please tell me what you think about what ive written, wheter you agree or disagree. I consider this a draft, and would like to add alot more to it in the future. Im considering writing a book about HPPD. But would need more perspectives to do so. Much love, Cureseeker
  12. 1 point
    interesting thread...Please keep us informed. I just wonder, what's the interaction then between hallucinogens and the auto-immune encephalitis ? how come one could trigger a reaction that was non existent before ? . I'm not sur to understand the whole statement here.
  13. 1 point
    Hi Guys, i just woke up and started thinking about this forum. Since my relapse/worsening in november 2017 i didn’t visit this forum a lot anymore because it isn’t very good for my mental health. I’m trying to focus as less as possible on the HPPD. But this morning i thought that i at least could give an update about how i’m doing now, since some members have helped me a lot. Well, compared to november 2017 (see posts above) i’m doing a lot better. On the other side i still have a long way to go because my symptoms are still quite severe (but have lessened a bit) and are hard to deal with from day to day. My HPPD is a disability right now because i can’t do the same stuff as “healthy” people are doing. Lets start with my symptoms right now: - pretty bad visual snow, in daytime not very noticable but in dark situations it’s pretty heavy. It’s like there is a layer of VS before my normal vision. I can handle it but it’s sometimes hard to deal with. - trails when looking at fast movements (like waving hands, a phone screen waving before my eyes gives a light trail, etc.). Also pretty long afterimages when i look directly into a light source (like more than a minute or so). Sometimes in notice a bit of floaters but it isn’t that bad. These symptoms have improved a bit and i’ve gotten used to it so it isn’t a very big deal anymore. - sometimes my entire vision looks “too bright”. Don’t know if that’s DR but when that happens i feel a bit disconnected. This symptom is very hard to deal with. Luckily this doesn’t happen very often because i would go crazy if this was permanent. - head pressures and brain zaps. Are often not noticeable anymore but when i have a busy day or week these come back. - some brain fog / cognitive issues / fatigue. Especially my memory is not very good. It has improved so i’m hoping it will slowly get better. - quite severe anxiety, but on the other side i’m able to deal with the anxiety a lot better due to my coaching and the meds i’m on right now. I think that’s about it. Due to all these symptomps, it’s a disability and i can’t do a fulltime job now because my symptoms get worse when i have a too busy day or week. When that happens they get better in de next couple of days but it’s really looking for a good balance in work / socialising / rest. I think i also have found the best treatment possible in the Netherlands. - i visit a psychologist once every 2 weeks to help me deal with the HPPD and slowly building up my life again. I now can work 2 mornings a week and deliver good quality work. This feels good and i’m hoping i will be able to work more in the future. - in the same clinic as the psychologist, there is a psychiatrist who prescribes me meds to help deal with the HPPD and anxiety. This psychiatrist is advised by HPPD specialist dr. Alderliefste. Meds i’m on right now: 2x Clonidine a day, 3x Clonazepam (Klonopin) a day. I’m tapering the Klonopin very slowly (over a lot of months), because it’s helping me pretty good but i can’t stay on this med for the rest of my life. - sometimes i have direct contact with HPPD specialist dr. Alderliefste. He’s helping me very good (the best way possible), mostly he advises me what to do. - now the most interesting part: like the most of you guys, i had an MRI scan from my brain to check if there is no other cause for the symptoms. As expected, the result from the MRI scan was good and there were no abnormality’s. With this result i am sent to a hospital connected to a university, where neurologists are researching and studying visual snow / HPPD. Dr. Alderliefste also helps and supports this research. When everything goes to plan, i will see a neurologist there (with knowledge of VS / HPPD). He will medicly examinate me and hopefully can give advise on optimising my treatment. Also there is a possibility for me to help the research / study as a patient. So i’m very curious about how this will work out, and if the doctors understand whats happening in my / our brains. I definitely will keep you guys updated if there is any interresting information to share. Well, that was quite a story to write. Overall i’m doing / dealing a lot better, but there is a long way to go. Hope you guys are also doing OK! Looking forward to the responses.
  14. 1 point
    "In a survey of sixty five users of LSD, Holsten found fifty users who described post LSD disturbances eighteen months to four years later3." HPPD is wayyy more prevalent than people are estimating among LSD users. http://www.bjmp.org/content/25-years-hallucinogen-persisting-perception-disorder-diagnostic-challenge Its incredible to me that these findings arent more widely published. Hallucinogens are clearly neurotoxic. Holsten, F. (1976) Flashbacks: Clinical and social significance 1 ½-4 years after the first admission , Journal of Norwegian Medical Association; 96: 875-878
  15. 1 point
    Just google it and you will find a couple. Most of them are from single users that report their disturbances to physicians and the physicians document the information/findings. Tbh I dont think there are going to be many due to governmental regulations on the scheduled substances known to lead to HPPD.
  16. 1 point
    Is it worth trying? I'd say yes. You never know what you may find. The more that's known about this condition the better. That being said, I'm not going to volunteer for a sleep study. I don't think I could sleep at all with wires attached to my head in a lab.
  17. 1 point
    It is beyond me, One thing I can say is that Mirtazapine is continuing to have a profound effect on my pathology. Its now day 4 on my initial dose and I feel like the old me, the me that existed before I ever had HPPD. Don't get me wrong the visual snow is still there but it's just become a fact of life. A simple visual phenomenon that has only a minimal effect on who I am. My depersonalization and derealization no longer exists. I guess I'm just lucky in terms of my pathology in that my visual symptoms have remained exactly as would if I wasn't on the mirtazapine. Perhaps worth a try if one was really looking for relief. My 2 cents
  18. 1 point
    Like to update these things periodically to report whether long term usage has been working out. So far, DSIP has been working for me but tolerance is an issue. I go on for a few days and take a week off. One thing I’ve noticed is it’s REALLY great for pain. I’ve experienced no sort of withdrawal that I’ve noticed. Here’s a link to some evidence for the reasons behind the pain relief and usage during withdrawals from alcohol and opiates: Therapeutic effects of delta-sleep-inducing peptide (DSIP) in patients with chronic, pronounced pain episodes. A clinical pilot study. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/6548970/ Successful treatment of withdrawal symptoms with delta sleep-inducing peptide, a neuropeptide with potential agonistic activity on opiate receptors. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/6328354/
  19. 1 point
    People that have never had to deal with mental problems or brain issues in their life will usually be dismissive because they've never experienced it. "You don't have anything to be sad about" is classic mental health ignorance. You should try to go out and hangout with your friends whenever you get the opportunity though.
  20. 1 point
    I was recently looking into autoimmune stuff as I seem to suffer from several issues relating to my system.... plus my t4 levels came back pretty low. Wonder what this will bring up.
  21. 1 point
    Onset of HPPD - April 2009, psilocybin mushrooms RADIOLOGY REPORT FACILITY: REDACTED UNIT/AGE/GENDER: D.5ES IN AGE:26 Y SEX:M PATIENT NAME/DOB: MYTHOS, THE 03/01/1989 UNIT NUMBER: REDACTED ACCOUNT NUMBER: REDACTED ACCESSION NUMBER: REDACTED EXAMINATION: MRI of the brain without and with contrast. DATE: February 19, 2016 at 1710. COMPARISON: Head CT scan of February 18, 2016. CLINICAL HISTORY: Visual disturbances and delusions. The bilateral facial paresthesias. Initial encounter. TECHNIQUE: Standard multisequential multiplanar magnetic resonance imaging study of the brain was performed prior to and following the administration of 10 ml Gadavist. FINDINGS: Diffusion weighted images show no evidence of acute infarction. The CSF spaces are of normal size and configuration. No mass effect, midline shift, or acute intracranial hemorrhage is present. Punctate areas of increased signal on T2 and FLAIR images are noted in the periventricular and subcortical white matter of the frontal regions bilaterally. The overall appearance of the remainder of the brain parenchyma is within normal limits on all sequences, including the gray-white differentiation. Images obtained following injection of contrast demonstrate no abnormal enhancement patterns. There is mucosal thickening within the maxillary, sphenoid, ethmoid, and right frontal sinuses, most prominently affecting the left maxillary sinus. However, no air-fluid levels are present. The mastoid air cells are aerated. IMPRESSION: 1. No evidence of mass, hemorrhage, or acute infarct. 2. Punctate T2 signal abnormalities within the periventricular and subcortical white matter of the frontal regions bilaterally. This is a nonspecific finding, but can be associated with demyelinating or dysmotility processes, vasculitis, chronic migraine headaches, microangiopathic changes, etc. 3. Multifocal sinusitis. Dictated by: REDACTED, M.D. Images and Report reviewed and interpreted by: REDACTED, M.D. <PS><Electronically signed by: REDACTED, M.D.> 02/19/2016 1928 D: 02/19/2016 1925 T: 02/19/2016 1925 Component Results There is no component information for this result. General Information Collected: 02/19/2016 7:25 PM Resulted: 02/19/2016 7:30 PM Ordered By: REDACTED Result Status: Final result
  22. 1 point
    You've been posting this for weeks now. Why not just post it when you post it.....
  23. 1 point
    i discovered nac by accident about 9 years ago now. I took it as a hangover preventative. It didn't do much so one night i thought fuck it, lets give it one last proper try and took 14 x 600mg pills. I woke up with a hangover, but was not expecting (so it took me a while of pleasantly surprised reflection to work out it was the nac) the massive drop in brain fog, fatigue and anxiety. I have never been as bad, tho it didn't touch my hppd as such. I am in uk and get my nac from bulkpowders.com which seems cheap and high quality. It doesn't seem to be a direct drug effect as the fog only starts returning slowly after days and weeks, so my guess is that the fog and anxiety are sequelae of hppd or predisposing condition that generates a lot of oxidative stress that the brain can't clear fast enough to prevent accumulation. Also bear in mind if you are having a bad reaction that nac makes fat soluble toxins water soluble, so you may get a herxheimer reaction as the toxins mobilise due via glutathione. Try a lower dose and drink water more, 2400mg seems quite high for a start dose, tho obviously nothing on my 14 pills! Now i just take half a teaspoon before drinking and half on a hangover; as i drink quite a lot this amount is enough to keep my fog down. I also do vit b (also from bulk powders) and d, and make my own cheapo magnesium malate by disolving magnesium ribbon in malic acid, which all seem to add a bit of extra pep to the nac.
  24. 1 point
    It will definitely improve. The fact that your episode was induced by Cannabis would lead me to believe that you will probably recover better since its not such a hard hitting compound neurologically speaking. To say how much youll improve no one here will be able to tell you. You will have to wait that out and see. Definitely do not try and smoke weed or any other drugs even if it improves.
  25. 1 point
    I put blueberries, strawberries, blackberries, and a banana into a blender. Add a shot of hemp oil and some walnuts, top it off with almond milk, run the blender for a while and bingo, breakfast. Works for me.
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