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Has anyone done pharmacogenomics test? does this work for us?

I know this sounds horrible but I'm actually making peace with the fact that I know that's how I'm going to die. By my own hand or doing. I know one day I will have reached my limit of what I can handle. As bad as it is I'm still here. I'm still functioning on some basic level. But it's not looking good for me. I still see my self deteriorating mentally and physically. I'm bitter. I hate that I'm like this. I've done nothing to deserve this. I cry and scream. And I can accept where I am. But I can not accept this as my life. As the rest of my "life". If it doesn't improve, If I don't gain some resemblance of reality back. Of how to function, then I know in time I will put an end to it. And it kinda brings me comfort knowing I can make all of this stop. I'd feel bad for my friends and family. I have a lot of people who love me. But this cross is too hard to bare. Im here but not really here anyway. And I do suffer. DAILY. It's not about giving up hope. It's about having realistic expectations. I don't expect to get better. Only to get worse like I have been. But I'll hold off until I can't take it anymore. Until it becomes too much. Whenever that may be.

I am asking and saying i have a hole life with this shit How wil we doing when we geth old like you now the brain go back wards when we are 50 mayby where slowly recoverig buth when we geth old i hope we are dont easy victims for degenarative disease because are brains are already in bad condition I scare my ass of this

Heres a good write up/explination of whats going on when hallucinogens or neurotransmitters enter the synapse. The adjacent neuron’s postsynaptic membrane appears as an elaborate, thickened complex of interlinked proteins gathered on the surface of a dendrite, which is one of the many arborizing extensions of a neuron. Neurotransmitter receptor binding alters the electrical potential of the dendritic membrane, which processes spatially and temporally the incoming barrage of synaptic impulses to form a signal directed toward the cell body. The dendrite receives both excitatory and inhibitory synaptic inputs. Once a sufficient number of receptor binding events occurs and threshold is reached, the postsynaptic neuron then fires an action potential. That momentary electrochemical flux becomes one nod from one neuron among the brain’s hundred billion.1,2