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Showing content with the highest reputation on 03/02/2016 in all areas

  1. I didnt really believe in this but what a dp/dr killer. Not as profound as the first Sinemet pill i took but there is definititely a lot of warmth to it. It does something to my vision, not sure what but more focused. More clear in My thoughts aswell
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  2. Wow. I got.. teary reading your post. I wasn't expecting to be emotional here but your words spoke to my recent thinking I was maybe even too afraid to ask myself. I have been wondering the exact same since learning more about this and speaking with a psychiatrist for the first time just last week. (Haven't mentioned hppd but the thinking of my childhood and past has been prevalent ). I have had all aggressive symptoms of HPPD at least as early as 5-6?years (that I can remeber) so really I don't know a life without it. I was always healthy other than some anxiety disorders (ocd 7-13 years, and adhd 7- present). Neither were ever treated medically (family of such avoidance of mental disturbance ). But yes, I've always wondered if the HPPD was a trigger for this (which I only learned of much much later as an adult) particularly for the adhd in its common relation to distraction and the adhd being linked to the childhood anxiety disorder/ocd. Back then (1990s) I doubt anyone new of it and my descriptions of the distortion were views as healthy imagination (and in jr high school of course i was the enlightened aura and all particle seeing psychic to the universe I thought). Here it is, tho: A) life wouldn't be different because life is here what it is and this is you as you have been. We could both beat our heads against the fuzzy wall of after images but what good would it do usm And B.) HPPD is NOT solely germane to drug use. There are MANY people and children who have never taken any drugs (I'm the shy nerd vegan who barely drinks and never even tried pot) who have lived their whole lives knowing nothing else. Some just assume all see just as such (I know I did for a long time) and just become the annoying guy for the optometrist or doctor to assume is lying about either a psychosis or drug use they haven't experienced. It is theororized that those drug users with the he condition may have already had it to some degree (or even fully) and didn't realize until the psychedelic experience 'awoke' these pathways and prove impossible to ignore long after the drug has left the system. I can tell you how very very easy it is to ignore when you aren't aware of the disorder and grow up striving to both live and assume normality in society. I can only imagine how hard it is for people who attain this after otherwise healthy vision and how unsettling must be. I don't know what the experience of healthy vision is and perhaps this is why I am not encumbered really much at all by hppd until recently in my continuation this may had something to do with my early childhood adhd, anxiety disorder and depression which I have credited to pretty much ruining me. C: Please don't penalize yourself for past drug use as I am sure you are aware is not healthy. You may have gotten the symptoms eventually, and even if not- how could you have known at the time while taking it this would happen? Life is what we make it. It could had been different, and so could today. The past doesn't exist in preswnt reality any more than tomorrow does. Today could be shit or today could be the best day of our lives, and that has f--- all nothing to do with whether or not we have HPPD or not. So love yourself, friend. I won't tell you to learn to love or even accept HPPD , but love and accept yourself as you are right now. Even the stuff you've done and the challenges you live with today. That's not me trying to be some tape coach cheerleader or anything. That's just the reality of it and the only damn way to live really without going bat-shit crazy. Sorry for rambling on (adhd perhaps I have to learn to accept too). Thank you for sharing about this. It means a lot that someone else had these questions. I do wonder. And you aren't alone. Be well. Love and best to you. ♡♡♡
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  3. Hey dude, I've been in Hell for a while now with this but ever since I stayed 100% away from weed I've been feeling better everyday. I mean, I won't smell a bag of weed, I'll leave the room or party if I'm getting second hand smoke, everything. Even slight second hand smoke triggers severe symptoms for me. It wasn't until I made a super hard effort to remove ALL WEED that I started making HPPD-free progress. 10 days is a good start, but you seriously have to stop smoking. Maybe forever.
    1 point
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