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I'm an assistant production manager at a sausage factory. Not the ideal job for someone with hppd since it's very stressful, loud and my shifts vary from 8h to 14h. Thinking about studying soon though since im still fairly young (21)

I'm pretty much open with everyone close to me to know that I got a perception disorder that comes with visual distortions and that I do feel mentally effected by it as well. There no need to clarify that I might have got these issues from drugs. What's that going to do for you? We are living in a judgemental society and I'm not lying about it, I'm just not going into unecessary details on what could have caused it. I got great support from friends and they are really understanding regarding my condition. I've mentioned sometime that it could been caused by migraines, headtrauma or drugs, which is true. But noone seems to be interested in the cause, they just want me to get better. The social life is what's worth living for so it's important to be honest to those you love. You can compare it to if anyone close to you get cancer. Your not gonna ask what it was induced from. Or if you get it and you have been smoking cigarettes for your whole life, you wouldn't drop it as nicotine-induced cancer. Or if you get diabetes, you wouldn't open up about sugar to everyone either. I don't believe in random numbers or bad luck. You get everything for a reason, caused by something else. We don't even know if it's HPPD or just drug-induced Visual Snow. We don't have to blame the drugs themselves.

My HPPD hasn't gone away completely. I have pretty gnarly visuals somedays. But I've worked through the anxiety attached to those symptoms and now they are insignificant. I don't know how much cognitive damage I've done, if any. I'm sure I've done at least a little. I'd say I'm like 80% "recovered". But, life goes on. And I got back in the drivers seat, and stopped being so scared of myself. What I'm about to say will likely be met with some slight trepidation. I started eating LSD again. With more or less, a "guide" or "guru". Old head, part of the "family". He worked me through it. And once I got through it. And saw the beauty in myself, and the world again. And realized no matter what happens here, to me, its all going to be okay my anxieties literally vanished. One second I had them, and the next I did not. And since then I've been on a spiritual path, so to speak. I meditate. I spend a lot of time outside, just smiling. I read a lot more. I feel fantastic. There hasn't been a day thats gone by in the last six months that I've been worried how HPPD will affect or is affecting me. It's insignificant. It's been marginalized. And now I begin to wonder where the sickness really begins. How much of it is us? How much of it needs to be treated by pharmaceuticals? Im not advocating the use of psychedelics for treatment in this situation. I'm merely stating that maybe its more a psychosomatic issue than previously thought. Obviously things like visual abnormalities prove some changes have occurred some where in the brain. But treating the dread, and the feelings of detachment. And waves of unwarranted anxiety, maybe the real key to fighting back. At least they were for me. I can smoke cannabis again, I can drink again. I take psychedelics sometimes. Absolutely no issues since I got over my anxieties. Embracing an issue like this is easier said than done. But I think a lot of it has to do with an individuals inability to let go. Constantly perpetuating this hungry, needless cycle in your head with thoughts of sorrow, and dread, and fear will simply keep you in it. You are what you eat, folks. Anyways, this is what worked for me. Sorry if this comes across as offensive to any of you. Best of luck! Much love! And keep on truckin'.