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Showing content with the highest reputation on 05/12/2014 in all areas

  1. So about five months ago I developed HPPD from a dosage of shrooms. You can all look at all the gory details of my symptons from something I had posted here if you're curious. Yes, it was fucking hell. http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/3629-too-many-symptoms-to-keep-track-of/ So it's been about a week now, and I've been feeling normal, like entirely back to reality. I can't say I'm absolutely 100% cured, but I feel pretty fucking good. And yes, I had legit HPPD issues, not just me psyching myself out. I go almost all day and night without noticing any sort of weird HPPD thing, whereas before it was a constant 24/7 continuous awareness of my altered perception and visual problems. This includes socializing, work related stuff, cognitive processing, ect. I do have some issues with PTSD from it, so I think about it a lot, but even when I start thinking about it, it isn't triggering any anxiety or HPPD symptoms. I don't feel confused, anxious, no weird visual distortions, I don't feel like life is "fake" or "surreal" or a "dream", none of that fucked up DPDR shit either. I had mind blowing DPDR issues, like I thought I was done for. Not anymore, I'm feeling normal. I even did a bunch of coke and have gotten drunk a handful of times in the past week, and my brain remained normal. Not recommending either of those to anyone, by the way. I can now smoke cigarettes without it causing my visuals to get worse. I also have stayed away from weed and any other psychedelics or dissociatives, and caffeine. I've been taking seroquel to help me sleep, but I'm fairly certain that has nothing to do with my symptoms going away. I've taken it when I was having bad HPPD and it didn't do shit to help me. Either way, if I'm not 100% recovered yet, I am definitely on my way. It's slightly hard for me to tell what's "enitrely normal", BUT I am soooooooooo SOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOOOO much better than I was during my original onset. I was unbelievably fucked in the head, and now I feel so calm and collected. And no, this isn't a story about how I'm coping with it, it's seriously entirely going away. I'm confident that by the end of the year I will be able to forget I even had this issue. Even writing all this out, I still feel normal, even after dwelling and recollecting about it. Stay sober, fuck the drugs, stay active, stay social, exercise, try to live life as though there is nothing wrong. That's what worked for me, and what I will continue to do. Sorry this was a little long, but I really wanted to share this.
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  2. Looking for something to just take once in awhile to take a load off. Not trying to get f'd up just once a week kind of stuff to be able to go out and be alive. Thank you
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  3. This is an encouragement to have your genes tested. To familiarise yourself with the basics of genetics, you can watch this video playlist: The proposal is simple; get a sizeable amount of us to have our DNA tested and compare the results to see if we share any unusual mutations, compared to the population. Hopefully some patterns will emerge. Eventually, we hope this will lead to formal research. Visual and I have recently had our genes tested by 23andMe. Visual is in the process of creating a simple program that will read a list of SNP's (single-nucleotide polymorphisms) we are interested in (those that are implicated in certain brain disorders, for example) and compare the variations of each participant for these SNPs. We have already tested a basic version of this program which does this in a simple form. There are some more complicated stats things that need to be accounted for before it is useful. Also, it needs to work in correspondence with a survey, as HPPD symptomatology varies vastly between individuals. What we need to make this program more useful is more results: more people with HPPD having their genes tested. This is where you come in. If you can afford it, please consider joining us. The cost is only $99 + shipping to have your DNA tested and takes a few minutes of your time (swabbing your mouth). Once done, the data can be useful for centuries. For the sake of continuity, and I think it is the best value for money, please go with 23andMe. Irregardless of this initiative, it should hopefully be interesting for you to have your genes tested on a personal note.. looking at your ancestry, personality traits etc. We can obviously not guarantee that this will lead to anything official or produce anything conclusive, but it will certainly give us the ability to compare our genes and it is a step in the right direction of understanding the pathology of this disorder. Please let us know as soon as possible if you will be taking part. We hope to get at least 32 participants to make this statistically useful. 100 people would be great. Also, relatives/friends with similar/same drug experiences and do not have HPPD are also very useful. Am sure Visual will chime in to explain things better than I can. Thank you, PS: Credit for this initiative goes to Visual. I am helping get the ball rolling and some footwork.
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  4. My friends have been encouraging me to just try shrooms or LSD once or twice just for the experience. From them and from much of the internet I have heard that it is a profoundly eye-opening experience, highly spiritual, etc. etc. I had been strongly leaning towards trying one of these supposedly reality shattering yet very safe drugs until I randomly stumbled upon this forum. Is there anyone who has gotten HPPD from a relatively low dose? (1-2 tabs of LSD?) I drink socially and do pot maybe once or twice a year so it definitely wouldn't be mixed with anything crazy. Perhaps this is dumb place to ask this - but as someone who wants to be safe I guess you guys would know the most.
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  5. Hi everyone! My hppd started in August last year. I dropped out of school in February because of it. It took over my life. Since then, I have been battling with myself to stay sane. I have been suicidal, and I just lie in bed all day with no motivation. I've given up everything. I feel so bad and I feel like everyone is better than me because they are in school. I've seen over 16 doctors because of hppd. I was even laughed at by one. I was interrogated many times, and asked SO many times WHY I did it. I had to fill in countless questionnaires with weird questions…. They were alto taking about giving me Zyprexa for psychosis They said that they're the doctors, so of course they know best! I should just shut the f*** up. In April, I agreed to go to the psychiatric ward. There was a chance of getting meds. They compared me to patients with psychosis, and at the end of my awful experience, they labeled me as histrionic. I've been treated like crap by all these doctors and I'm so angry about it. I wanted to complain about my false diagnosis but the doctor said that he is ill so he can't see me…. Now I'm back at home, thinking about my sad life. My symptoms are still bad and I don't know how to continue my life and go back into society. I don't know what to do anymore. I have been sitting in my bedroom for such a long time. I'm scared that I'll never have a life, friends, a high school degree etc. I have no motivation. I'm so jealous of everyone my age. I had NO idea that my life would ever come to this. At 15, I had never dreamt of doing drugs. I got caught up in this and I got out, but now I'm left with hppd and it's ruining my life. Help!
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  6. I was going to reply why genetic testing can be controversial but Visual has done all the hard work for me .... cheers! I'll be sure to get myself tested in June. Well done for getting this started.
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  7. I can totally relate to u when I became consciously aware of hppd I was ur age.. The difference is I'm in my forties now and no doctor I went to had ever heard of this rare phenomenon including myself.. When I was in high school I never said a word I completely felt alienated and psychologically impaled on the mind alteration from normal reality.. I knew everyone around me had normal vision, didn't feel dp/dr. I use to fantasize about being normal, when my gramps died I prayed for him to cure me from my illness and to look through my eyes to see for himself what I saw and felt.. It never happened, I layed in my bed for weeks too.. The shit was swallowing me whole head first.. U have to believe in urself.. Once u do that u will naturally come up with the remedies to cope, adjust, fit in and transition into beautification. Metaphorically speaking, it's like going through complete metamorphosis like a monarch butterfly (all for stages) When u accomplish this u will be ready to fly!! Remember this when u feel alone and beaten by ur own hands from ur decision making, ur not alone, ur not the only one, and u will succeed as well as prevail.. I'm living proof of ur kind.. Misshppd24longyearsandstillsucceeding.
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  8. There were some articles on it - the FDA has been cracking down on these avenues for some odd reason, potentially because it would lead to a rapid revolution of the medical field and pave the way for truly "personalized medicine". Who knows. They just used to interpret everything and offer approximations of your risk of certain diseases and your resistance towards others, how you metabolize certain meds and compounds such as caffeine, etc. Interesting information, but nothing that we can't get ourselves with the help of GeneticGenie and Prometheus and collaborating with one another. Eagerly awaiting my results. It's been being sequenced at the lab for the past 3 or so days, so hopefully sometime this week I'll receive them.
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  9. I think this is a fantastic idea. So please, anyone who has the time/money to partake in this and purchase a 23andMe kit, do so. You can also plug it into GeneticGenie and Prometheus to get a better idea of what you're predisposed to, your methylation pathways/capabilities, etc. and we can all compare our notes or plug them into Visual's program. My test reached the lab really early this morning and it states that it may take a few weeks for the results to be posted, but they also said that it will take a few weeks to reach the lab and it took about 3 days, so I'm hopeful I'll have my results by the end of the week. I'd like to help out in any other way I could, too.
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  10. You can buy a mouth guard to prevent yourself from damaging your teeth.
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  11. I haven't tried that one but generally the ones I've tried fuk me up
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  12. I had the same thing missjess. If I would look at an object I wouldn`t have an automatic emotional reaction to it like I did prior to HPPD. I just kind of understood it theoretically but not practically. Hard to explain. Thankfully that has faded away to a large extent for me.
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  13. i feel you i really do, i remember my first 6 months were awful. dont do anything silly honestly its shit but you can do this! you can overcome it!
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  14. Day 13: scale ratings 0-10 (0 being as close to baseline as I remember, 10 being very aggravated symptoms) Anxiety: 3 I'm not that anxious per se, but I'm not totally zen Visuals: 6 Concentration: 4 still a little hazy Lethargy: 5 Memory recall: 6 I hold a very high bar for myself, so some of these ratings may be a little harsh
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  15. Well most of us are addicts. Its hard to quit every addiction. I learned iy for real.. i even did the 12 steps program for 2 years. Yes it helped me to stay of the alcohol.
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  16. Thank you sir. Mine would be difficult to guage because now I only experience some visual snow. But for many years I had it pretty bad.
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  17. I looked at it a few months ago and it looked pretty dormant/defunct. Just what ARE the numbers, how much critical mass can be generated around this subject, one wonders ... ?
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  18. Do your symptoms come back when you stop taking tramadol?
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  19. I've changed my life from vegetarian to vegan. Not only because of hppd but for many other reasons as well. But somehow the drug experiences gave me the kick in the ass, so to speak. I am also more happy to be alive now. The world is beautiful, if you take a close look. In my opinion we just get a chance to have a closer look at this planet. People who never experienced this hppd-stuff don't know how lucky they are. Is it luck? I don't know, but their life seems easier. I don't think compelety negatively about hppd, but it is annyoing over time. Great idea to have a thread like this, btw. Your suggestions are good but hard to follow. But I will give it a try to change even more :-)
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  20. Plus if a large amount of cells die--like would be the case with hppd--either through apoptosis or necrosis, it would make sense that there would be inflamation or leasons, which are detectable by a mri. While changes in receptor density is totally undectable on a standard mri.
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