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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/08/2013 in all areas

  1. Did anyone here use anabolic steroids while under HPPD? If so, please tell me your experience. Did your symptoms got worse? Or has nothing changed ( Except getting very big )? Thanks in advance!
    2 points
  2. what are some of your experiences with breaking the news to your parents? how do you tell them? how have they reacted? i know i have to tell them at some point but don't know what to expect or what a good way to say it would be... :/
    1 point
  3. Sure this Sunday is the last episode but it's never to late to talk a little BB. This show has been somewhat of an obsession. Any predictions for how it will end?
    1 point
  4. from personal experimentation i've done studying my own cev's, there is definitively a central point of focus that all of my distortions swirl around in both eyes.. the point at which both eyes overlap, which is the brain's blind spot in our visual field. not just you
    1 point
  5. Hi guys As I've been recently suffering from some other unrelated health issues, my past experiences on HPPD came to mind as I trawl through the internet about other things as I no doubt many are doing as you read my words.I remember very dark days obsessing about my vision issues.... I wanted to come back and post, god damn those folks that solve their problems then let others stew!!! I felt I should take the time out to return to the forum or at least a forum I used to post on way back in 06,07... God knows what my user name was....was it this forum...I can't access my old email to check my username or the form I posted on.... looks ways different. Anyway I just wanted to let you know that I was going mad..... I had crazy starburst effects on every light, insane tracers everywhere especially when I didn't focus on a light and let it go through my vision unfocussed, I had a line through my vision on closing eyes 24/7, a big black dot in the middle of my vision on opening eyes, I could regularly see the reflection of capiliaries of retina, the white blood cell, floaters effects, what else,,,,errr, major windows 95 style screen saver morphing colour craziness with eyes closed all day every day, major negative colour vision with images when I moved vision.....and every time I saw vertical real life lines my vision produced horizontal florescent yellow and pink wiggly lines and vise versa for about 2 years after.... plus more.... I even did some shitty paintbrush style representations for some internet study that was happening back in late 06. anyway, that pretty much all went away after a couple of years. totally gone by 08 and never been back since. firstly this came about because of ecstasy and mdma powder (now called molly I guess...f-in gringos however I firmly believe mine was heavily influenced by circulatory issues I was having becase I was living in Japan with no heating at the time....my circulatory system suffered as a result...... as also anxiety majorly affects circulation, you're obsessions make it worse. I know it's very hard to get away from, I really really know...... don't get mad at me.... but ocding about your vision (I KNOW you're *not* inventing it) but it is possibly making it worse.....tackle your anxiety once you've exhausted your obsessive checking, because I know you need to check and read and research.... do it.... but when you're done, get to sorting your mental side a little and if you're anything like me, which obv I cant promise you are, but if you are, youll see improvements.... and by god exercise helped me. im a hypocrite because I know in times of crisis that words of others cant change everything but at least know that 95% of my symptoms have gone. we're likely not the same, but have faith my friend, I know what you're going through.
    1 point
  6. Hello, I just discovered this website. I suffered terrible bad from HPPD from the ages of 16-21. I went to doctors and psychiatrists. I couldnt explain what was wrong with me to anyone. I was suspected of being schizophrenic and bipolar. I thought I was crazy. I used to wakeup in the mornings and pray that I could be able to see normally. I couldnt function, was extremely depressed and just drank all the time.... Ive been sober for one year now and have gotten on the right set of medications that work for /me/ [everyone is different I realize this] I really wanted to post on this website to give some hope to anyone suffering from this condition right now. I wont lie.. I ocassionally have minor visual phenomenon but NOTHING like how it was. This condition is terrible but it will not last forever!!! What really helps me is Calming down...closing my eyes and breathing deeply. Im on PROZAC and LAMICTAL. 50MG. not using any ofther drugs and my HPPD has seemed to have dissapeared. I live a normal {for the most part lol} and productive life! I can go to work ! To anyone out there struggeling or considering doing somethig stupid because of this fucked up disorder PLEASE trust me when I say It wont last forever. It is a temporary situation!! Your brain needs to heal and eventually everything will go back to normal! I really hope this helps someone.... Back when I was being tortured with HPPD I didn't know what it was so it is amazing to have a website like this with support! Your not alone! =]
    1 point
  7. I have 'had' HPPD for 32 years and I completely agree with this poster. I don't come to this forum very often - about 3 or 4 times a year, mainly to see if there's been any progress and also to lend support to anyone who may have just 'got' this often confusing thing. For the first 2 years I did the usual round of eye doctors with the same results you've all had. I tried dozens of homeopathic medicines. For anxiety a doctor gave me Valium. Getting out of it on further chemicals isn't going to do it. In the end I realized that this was now 'me'. You can't go back to the 'real you'. I had a tendency to look back on my glory days as a late teen with rose colored specs, but the period I was looking at, I was usually out of it all the time on various substances. And why exactly was I self medicating anyway? The only way through is forward. Do what you want in life and face it down. It's really not easy for anyone and a large percentage of the 'normal' population are miserable and hopped up on anxiety/depression meds and/or drinking every night. Society offers us very little. Marriage/house/cars etc...are the carrots most people chase endlessly without getting anywhere. The poster who said 'you don't want to end up middle aged and grey with HPPD' is part of the reason I avoid this place. I'm not making light of his problems but hey...I'm just going through divorce, have lost full time custody of my beloved son and I'm 51 years of age. I'm still looking to the future, have a wonderful girlfriend who appreciates me for who I am and what I do and I look forward to the next 32 years. My ex, hasn't got HPPD and never did too many drugs but does have a miserable drink problem and is constantly unhappy despite a fairly privaleged upbringing and many opportunities. Don't waste your life waiting for a cure and accept yourself for who you are, not who you were. I think it's admirable that people are putting their heads together here and asking questions but it's the negative obsessing that drags you down. As the above poster said, pretend you're ok and eventually you will be. I still get black/white microbe like specs if I look for them (I rarely do) but the awful DP/DR stopped after a couple of years. I am prone to stress (but maybe I always was). I teach and the worst symptom that comes back occasionally is an inability to form words without slurring or stuttering. I saw one other post regarding this. As I have to lecture classes this can be difficult at times (happens once or twice a year) but experience has told me to soldier on and it goes away after a few days. Do yoga. Excercise. Meditate. Fall in love. Be fascinated in the world. Confront your worst social fears and you'll be ok. I embarrassed myself with my weirdness for years but it gets better. One interesting thing is that I never remember HPPD as part of any life events or experiences after the first couple of years. The first two I remember as a bad trip. But I decided to move on. Good luck.
    1 point
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