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  1. K.B.Fante

    Threads everyone should read

    Seems like this site is more active after a period of latency with a lot of newer members, unfortunately. I thought it might be a good idea to cull some of the more comprehensive and informative threads into one place so people can browse them for information as needed. I'd suggest people add to this thread as they see fit. "Bit of an idea for possible CURE. Has some weight to it." http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1250-bit-of-an-idea-for-possible-cure-has-some-weight-to-it/& "Finding the cause. To find the cure we need to know the cause." A follow up to the above thread. http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1438-finding-the-cause-to-find-the-cure-we-need-to-know-the-cause/& "'THE HPPD Stack' - let's create one" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/3474-the-hppd-stack-lets-create-one/& "Medication Trial: Dr. Abraham" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/302-medication-trial-dr-abraham/& "Why NMDA antagonism?" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/2280-why-nmda-antagonism/& "Dear Readers from the Dana Foundation Story:" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1921-dear-readers-from-the-dana-foundation-story/#comment-15227 "Has anyone tried Coluracetm" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/2118-has-aneyone-tried-coluracetam/& "Comprehensive Bibliography I am using" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/109-comprehensive-bibliography-i-am-using/#comment-409 "The thread about dopamine agonists and supportive agents (e.g. levodopa and reuptake inhibitors)" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/495-the-thread-about-dopamine-agonists-and-supportive-agents-eg-levodopa-and-reuptake-inhibitors/#comment-2944 "History of HPPD: Section 2 of 5. Available in PDF" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/306-history-of-hppd-section-2-of-5-available-in-pdf/ "What specifically caused your issues??" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/738-what-specifically-caused-your-issues/ "RELEASED: Initial Results of COMT-inhibition Study conducted by Dr. Abraham" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1346-released-initial-results-of-comt-inhibition-study-conducted-by-dr-abraham/ "dna methylation/epigenetics" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/680-dna-methylationepigenetics/ "telling parents" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/241-telling-parents/ "AGGRESIVE ADVOCACY" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1003-aggresive-advocacy/ "Success Stories" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1267-success-stories/ "Hey! so who all has speech problems due to their HPPD" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/952-hey-so-who-all-has-speech-problems-due-to-their-hppd/ "before/after HPPD" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/874-beforeafter-hppd/ MASSIVE HPPD ARTICLE DOWNLOAD ACCESS (30 MOST IMPORTANT FREE) http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/689-massive-hppd-article-download-access-30-most-important-free/ "Alcohol's effect on hppd" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/501-alcohols-effect-on-hppd/ "Movement" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/forum/11-symptoms-descriptions-discussion-debate/&sortby=views&sortdirection=desc "Can't feel pleasure. Dopamine receptors destroyed?" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1275-cant-feel-pleasure-dopamine-receptors-destroyed/ "Klonopin vs. Xanax vs. Valium - how do they compare?" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/989-klonopin-vs-xanax-vs-valium-how-do-they-compare/ "My profound experience with levodopa/carbidopa (Sinemet)" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/479-my-profound-experience-with-levodopacarbidopa-sinemet/ "The big 'if': Coluracetam trial" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/2236-the-big-if-coluracetam-trial/ "Thiamine Cocarboxylase" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/5027-thiamine-cocarboxylase/ "people's benzo experiences" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/578-peoples-benzo-experiences/ "CBD Strains of Marijuana" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1417-cbd-strains-of-marijuana/ "Keppra vs. Clonazepam" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/355-keppra-vs-clonazepam/ Benzo wd syndrome -- psych questioning its validity" http://hppdonline.com/index.php?/topic/1147-benzo-wd-syndrome-psych-questioning-its-validity/
    1 Points
  2. K.B.Fante

    Possible relation in PAWS and HPPD?

    Just because you get symptoms slowly doesn't mean it isn't neurodegeneration. Many neurodegenerative diseases like Alzheimer's and Parkinson's come on slowly over the course of years and even decades. Last week a member of this forum posted a link to the first published study I'm aware of that proved hallucinogens can be neurotoxic: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/14821234_Degeneration_of_Purkinje_cells_in_parasagittal_zones_of_the_cerebellar_vermin_after_treatment_with_Ibogaine_or_harmaline So we now know hallucinogens have the ability to cause necrosis, aka cell death. In addition, we also know many people who get HPPD suffer from anxiety. Science has confirmed that with increased stress follows increased cortisol which creates a surplus of the transmitter glutamate: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3181836/ In addition, we know glutamate produces free radicals which attack and kill brain cells: https://link.springer.com/article/10.1134%2FS000635090905011X But glutamate is also excitotoxic, activating and killing NMDA receptors, which are the same receptors targeted in certain hallucinogenic drugs: https://www.sciencedaily.com/terms/excitotoxicity.htm Finally, it's thought glutamate is the missing link to signal necrosis after ischemia (loss of oxygen) wherein during even a very brief episode of blood loss glutamate is activated and thus triggers cell death: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0301008213001305 On the topic of blood flow, it's also been noted how LSD and other hallucinogens can decrease blood circulation in certain parts of the brain: http://www.nature.com/news/brain-scans-reveal-how-lsd-affects-consciousness-1.19727 I'm just saying, between anxiety and chemical drugs there's plenty of potential for excess glutamate, loss of blood flow and a possible triggering of necrosis. When I saw a neurologist this past winter he said he didn't know what happened to me but that I had symptoms of a stroke. I also know that in the weeks leading up to taking LSD I had a period of extreme anxiety where I didn't hardly sleep for about 10 days. It was without question the worst acute stretch of anxiety I've ever had. So for me there almost had to be some sort of a glutamate overload, and I assume for those who suffered from anxiety already prior to taking drugs or had a really bad trip that triggered an incredible release of anxiety and glutamate there's a good chance they were in the same boat as I was.
    1 Points
  3. Jay1

    Advice?

    No need to quit, but just moderate it. Glad to hear you are veg... i'm vegan (I still eat doritos and oreos here and there though)
    1 Points
  4. Jay1

    Advice?

    Bad food, eg, alot of junk food, processed garbage with too much sugar and salt. I found that fixing the things i could, like my physical health, helped me to start fixing some parts of my mental health too...
    1 Points
  5. hppdonli

    NODID and HPPDonline History

    NODID.org is now back in my hands. It means very little in the big picture, but a small celebration. I registered NODID.ORG when we formed the National Organization for Drug-induced Disorders, Inc., a 501(c)(3) non-profit public charity. I lost the domain name, which suddenly jumped to $600 and was owned by various other groups. NODID, the organization is no longer active, but I have accounts that use dkozin@nodid.org as an e-mail back-up that should allow me to enter places to enter other sites. Admins: E-mail david.s.kozin@gmail.com with any financial issues and current SITREP. I contacted some of the larger sites to fix their links, which explains some drain on the the site, and I may have a donor that will pay for hosting. I am having a significant family issue that may result in a slow response, but much more quickly than never. If you are interested in learning about the history of the hppdonline.com web site, you can go to wayback machine and look at nodid.org and hppdonline.com and see what I was working on at different stages and can get some interesting information. Here are images from the history of HPPDonline and one from NODID. The oldest record in 1991. - David
    1 Points
  6. Jay1

    Advice?

    It sounds like you are doing alot of things right... Going sober is 100% the way to go and telling your mum was a smart move, even if she is having a hard time understanding... At least she knows if you want to start heading down the medication route. Have you tried cutting other things out, like caffeine? bad food? anything else causing you stress? have you tried exercise? How did you get hppd?
    1 Points
  7. K.B.Fante

    Anxiety or HPPD?

    You definitely have HPPD symptoms. When I first got this I also felt extreme exhaustion. I could hardly stay awake and even everyday tasks like completing a sentence and making lunch were difficult. I think that's the result of large-scale neurodegeneration to be honest. Looking back I also think I got my HPPD from a synthetic... The only thing you can do now is take all the steps possible to heal your brain. There's plenty of advise all over this forum, so you might wanna sit down and do some reading.
    1 Points
  8. Well guys, its a sad day, because here is pretty much the nail in the coffin that hallucinogenic use does in fact like I theorized produce an excitotoxic effect, resulting in loss of neurons. Finding this article was difficult for even me to read because it really sinks in the reality of the situation of HPPD. The good news is, believe it or not, that this still is a curable disease. More so than others, or has a better potential outcome. The reason being for this is that central nervous system tissue damage, like this, or in the case of a stroke or paralysis, does not form any scar tissue, so healing remains only to just stimulating neuronal growth. The only detriment I see to this is by possibility that the purkinje cells in the heart are also reduced, in which case I would assume fills with scar tissue rendering that area much more difficult to remedy, and possibly... impossible, which could have great consequences in the case that they send any signals to the brain that modern science is unaware of. Anyways, here it is. Abstract The indole alkaloids ibogaine and harmaline are beta-carboline derivatives that cause both hallucinations and tremor. Reports that ibogaine may have potent anti-addictive properties have led to initiatives that it be tested for the treatment of opiate and cocaine addiction. In this study, ibogaine-treated rats were analysed for evidence of neurotoxic effects because human clinical trials of ibogaine have been proposed. We recently found that ibogaine induces a marked glial reaction in the cerebellum with activated astrocytes and microglia aligned in parasagittal stripes within the vermis. Based on those findings, the present study was conducted to investigate whether ibogaine may cause neuronal injury or degeneration. The results demonstrate that, after treatment with ibogaine or harmaline, a subset of Purkinje cells in the vermis degenerates. We observed a loss of the neuronal proteins microtubule-associated protein 2 and calbindin co-extensive with loss of Nissl-stained Purkinje cell bodies. Argyrophilic staining of Purkinje cell bodies, dendrites and axons was obtained with the Gallyas reduced silver method for degenerating neurons. Degenerating neurons were confined to narrow parasagittal stripes within the vermis. We conclude that both ibogaine and harmaline have selective neurotoxic effects which lead to degeneration of Purkinje cells in the cerebellar vermis. The longitudinal stripes of neuronal damage may be related to the parasagittal organization of the olivocerebellar climbing fiber projection. Since these drugs produce sustained activation of inferior olivary neurons, we hypothesize that release of an excitatory amino acid from climbing fiber synaptic terminals may lead to excitotoxic degeneration of Purkinje cells. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/14821234_Degeneration_of_Purkinje_cells_in_parasagittal_zones_of_the_cerebellar_vermin_after_treatment_with_Ibogaine_or_harmaline
    1 Points
  9. MadDoc

    Sleep Problems..

    I've had insomnia for years. One thing that worked very well is CBD oil. It's a non-psychoactive cannabinoid usually extracted from hemp. I take it about an hour before bed and without fail, I fall asleep, sleep through the night, and wake up refreshed. Very gentle stuff.
    1 Points
  10. K.B.Fante

    Sleep Problems..

    Yeah, that could be withdrawals. I've had all sorts of sleep problems over the last few years and have definitely woken up a few nights drenched in sweat, hyperventilating, etc. You might try some sleep teas just before bed just to see if it keeps you out for longer. Also, meditating right before bed might help to clear your mind a bit.
    1 Points
  11. WOLF70M

    Thank You HPPD

    Hey guys, I haven't been on this site in quite some time, but I was reflecting on the past 6 years of perceptual disturbances and thought that I would write a post that may shed a different light on HPPD. I am very thankful that HPPD has become a part of my life(yes, even when I start melting or the room keeps changing sizes). I'm sure by this point many of you are thinking "wow, this guy is fucked in the head" , but let me elaborate a bit more. At this point in my life I am happy, I love who I am, and I am in a great place despite my visual and tactile disturbances not wavering in the slightest. Pre-HPPD, however, I could say none of the good things I listed above. I lived my life constantly brushing my anxiety, depression, and insomnia under the rug like it didn't exist. HPPD amplified these problems to a point where I could no longer just pass them off. It forced me to change. I had to open up to people about myself and my problems like I never had to before. I had to focus on the things that I could control (anxiety, depression) rather than the things that were out of my hands(perceptual disturbances). This was not an easy process at all. I struggled immensely for a year before I developed the coping skills I needed to allow myself to be happy. One of the biggest turning points for me was when I was finally able to forgive myself for the long series of decisions I made to get myself caught up in in everything. I fortunately haven't had any other trauma in my life, but that almost made it harder to forgive myself for creating such a traumatic event for myself all because I wanted to get high. I also thin that it was important that I accepted the fact that HPPD was a part of me; this is the way I see things now and that ok. In fact its more than ok! I have a hugely different perspective on life than I did before and I think that is one of my biggest assets in life. I couldn't imagine where I would be if HPPD didn't come into my life (probably still getting high off of stupid shit all of the time with no future plans). HPPD helped me figure out what I wanted to do with my life (though I almost dropped out because of it) HPPD is the reason I became a social worker and have a great job that I love HPPD helped me learn the communication skills I needed to open up to someone and have an actual meaningful relationship with someone HPPD stopped me from doing drugs allowing me to eventually become an all-american in cross country. HPPD taught me how to enjoy life while coping with insomnia, depression, and anxiety HPPD made me the man I am today I used to blame HPPD for making my life miserable, but now I see it as an integral part of my life. Wish you guys all the best. - Josh
    1 Points
  12. K.B.Fante

    Are these true symptoms

    Yeah, sounds like you're verging on Depersonalization-Derealization symptoms more than HPPD. Jay can probably answer this better than I, but my interpretation of HPPD was that it's mostly visual disturbances: streamers, trails, halos, visual snow, flickering, changes in color, breathing textures and surfaces, closed-eye visuals (CEVs), etc. Lots of people end up getting DP symptoms along with HPPD, and visa versa, so you could be someone who just has more DP than HPPD.
    1 Points
  13. Jay1

    Are these true symptoms

    It doesn't sound like hppd (floaters are natural) but I think that is a symptoms of dp/dr ,,,, I often feel like I have vertigo when i walk, especially if I look down at my body. A strange coping mechanism i have is to pinch my arm quite hard when it is at it's worst, it sort of snaps me back into my body. Be careful with Xanax, addictive as hell. Doctors are way too quick to hand them out like candy.... Last thing you want is addiction, withdrawal and anxiety from meds too
    1 Points
  14. MadDoc

    when it started - now

    Hi Jeffy. Have you considered taking a little break from tripping to see if the symptoms moderate or go away? Hallucinogens can have short term effects like empathy, insight into ones self, or just seeing the world from another viewpoint. Some of these residual feelings can be wonderful as I recall. However, for some of us we get negative symptoms that never go away. Basically I see visuals much of the time. I can't make them go away and I've had this for over 40 years. If you take a break then perhaps you can gauge how things are going up in the cranium.
    1 Points
  15. K.B.Fante

    cold turkey?

    Seems like most people with mild HPPD say the same thing, that their symptoms are just bad enough to make them reassess their life and ask themselves what's truly important without having to go through a full on mental breakdown as is the case with more severe cases. I never had a problem with drug addiction so I had no problem going cold turkey, but I can say that I highly recommend it both for healing from HPPD and for experiencing life in general. You'll get used to it pretty quick and realize how great life can be without any substances. Maybe try doing some outdoors stuff too. That's always when I feel at my best.
    1 Points
  16. K.B.Fante

    New video on HPPD

    This was only posted a week ago: What always amazes me is the comments section, reading people who say HPPD is fun and they enjoy it. I'm happy to swap them their mild HPPD for my severe HPPD and DP-DR and see how much fun they have!
    1 Points