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  1. Yesterday
  2. Traditional Chinese Docs KNOW what to do. It is a way older medical concept and it involves the Spirit not just the body. Go and speak to a Doc <3
  3. Cleaned up and edited and updated information about this thread's topic.
  4. It will eventually, it's just gonna take many more years of suffering before it becomes more widely studied and actually becomes understood and acknowledged in the medical lexicon. More and more kids are doing drugs and getting HPPD every day which means more and more will start showing up at doctor's offices. As this continues doctors will eventually have to acknowledge something is up rather than just dismissing it. Again, it's just gonna take a long time. People have to speak up though. How many people come here in the far corners of the Internet instead of writing to doctors or medical professionals? I've said it many times, but unless we decide to band together and actually get noticed this condition is going to continue to be overlooked for many years than is necessary.
  5. STORY Hi, first I would like to say I have had hppd for 5 or so years now. It started when I was 15 years old. I was at a friend's house, did some dmt and acid (I know pretty heavy for a 15 year old) and well being that it was the most intense trip I have ever experienced, I literally thought I felt my brain trying. The next day I woke up, with terrible visuals. And it followed the same pattern day after day. I couldn't read much as the focusing in caused visuals to get worse. I couldn't leave my house because the anxiety would send me into panic attacks, after all I was very young. I told my mom everything. We went to neuro, psych, eye doctor, vestibular therapist and an ent... I ended up being home schooled. Depersonalization/derealinization was a constant struggle, and the lack of seeing people (home schooled I never left the house) started to make me go crazy. It wasn't until I found out I had hppd where I was finally able to start to recover... but it wasn't easy. RECOVERY First, I thought of it in 2 days. 1) You have ruined your life, you have forever burnt away your perception and you will never be the same again, and there's always that last solution to end it all.. or 2) this is life now, focus on getting healthy focus on being closer to the people around me and accepting what I have and using it. It wasn't easy but every day I tried to incorporate myself into going out more. If I would start tripping alot, being in dark I would say to myself this is how it is, hppd CAN NOT HURT ME. I started going to the gym and walking, jog, to being able to run. I focused on powerlifting and even did a competition. I went back to school and became overly interested in the brain and am now in med school pursuing a neuropsych degree. It is so important to be able to accept what you have because the brutal truth is it will not go away, get better yes, but go away no, and once you except this, you can let go of the anxiety and all the sub problems that come with it. END I just want to show you that life with hppd is not the end. It's 5 years later and even sitting here writing this I have halo, static vision, trails, an overall feeling of not being myself but I have 0 anxiety. I feel better than I ever have and when times are hard, I get stressed out and the visuals increase, I think of what I've come from and take in everything that's going on around me and let it go. PS: USE OF ANY HALLUCINOGENIC DRUGS INCLUDING MARIJUANA WILL MAKE HPPD WORSE and feel free to private message me for info, as I have done extensive research on medications, treatments, and sub disorder
  6. Last week
  7. Do you think we will or maybe some of us will get answers to this one day? I feel like not enough people know of it to consider trying to help us, especially now that Dr. Abraham is retired. I just want answers. I know the terminology drug induced psychosis is something that gets tossed around a lot which, maybe we have it all mixed up. Some claim damage to gaba receptors, which also doesn't make much sense to me considering there have been the odd case where people have cured their hppd with psychedelics. Why do some get rid of theirs using meds like lamotrigine and keppra, and others dont find success in meds at all. Im sure when RC's become more common, thats when more people will end up with it. Anyways, 11 months tomorrow with no end in sight, good times ahead.
  8. Hi. I have no idea if I have HPPD or I have HPPD through Lyme disease. It started in 2015 in June. Earlier, I was under severe stress by a psychiatrist and drugs that destroyed me. At the end of June 2015, I discontinued Truxal (chlorprotrixen). And I started taking herbal medicines, 5 HTP and melatonin for sleeping because I could not poison this medicine anymore. After a few days when I went to sleep, I got a wavy line and my head was arbitrarily thrown back. I felt strangely at night. When I woke up I saw a lot of floaters. Hell has begun. I got a lot of stress. I do not remember if I smoked marijuana before. But after that I smoked marijuana but I was always unable to enlist. When the floaters were formed, I got conjunctivitis in a few days. I got drops and you're allergic. The inflammation went a bit, but it's not over. Later it was only worse. In August I fell ill with pneumonia. I had a terrible strong cough ... at night I suffocated ... antibiotics did not help much ... I did not have a cold. Then the hell started ... my stomach ached and I had cold sweats. I was lying half-conscious ... as under anesthesia. My head was so heavy that I could not keep my head upright. There was a brain fog, derealization, de personalization, problems with concentration and memory, stiff and strained muscles, visual snow. My eyes started to fester very much, they were burning and scratching. My eyes have been festering for two years. Lists from the eye were made. Nothing came out of the study. I was taking a lot of anti-allergy drops, antibiotics, steroids that did not help either. What are my symptoms now: visual snow, bfep, eyes are dry and very painful are like tense, floaters, bfep, tense abdominal muscles which hurt a lot, temple pain, I do not feel like eating, lack of libid, diarrhea, undigested food, stiffness chic and back, tight muscles of the whole body, high pressure, sweat, hair loss, terrible seborrhoea, numbness of legs and hands, derealization, de personalization, brain fog, psychomotor anxiety, anxiety, strong depression, insomnia, agitation and fatigue, aggression attacks, my head was supposed to explode, strong eyes ache, views, taste and smell disorders, dementia, photophobia, bfep, CEV, floaters, photopsy, nyctalopia, halos, glare, ghosting, pulsating vision, flicker of vision, loss of sensitivity to contrast, visual glow / visual stress, body shaking,very dry eyes
  9. Hi. I suffer from terrible insomnia since it started. I have to take something to sleep. Has Remeron worsened your symptoms eg visual snow or other?
  10. It has been my own experience, having HPPD for 48 years now, that there are long stretches of time when the symptoms seem not so strong or not obvious enough to notice. Then, a time of stress, or perhaps sleep deprivation, or for no such reason at all the symptoms will come again more pronounced. The most unsettling of these symptoms is the feeling that I just arrived on the scene while I've actually been there all along doing whatever Im doing. It is like a second me awakens. I do think this must be what is called de-realization or de-personalization. That particular symptom was what I did not like while on LSD in 1969-70 and what really makes me feel 'spacey'.( 48 years later!) I stay away from situations and places that seem to heighten these symptoms, for instance noisy places with lots of people. Places with alot of electric lights and tech. These sorts of environs seem to trigger symptoms in my case. By the way, one of my biggest fears when I first experienced HPPD at the age of 12 years old was whether or not I would ever get AS high as on a full blown LSD trip! I never had that happen. I suppose it still could happen though.
  11. U can compare it to the placebo effect. Our mind is DAMN powerful!!! You can heal everything, even cancer. There are books by Émile Coué (the Doc behind this). Just read it, follow his instructions and get your life back <3 It worked for me and it will work for you.
  12. I have stomach problems similar to GERD. I basically have to follow all the same protocol. Best thing that's helped me is cutting back drastically on fat, citrus, spicy foods -- anything that will irritate your insides. However the best thing I've found is balancing my stomach PH by eating alkaline foods which are basically just green veggies. I make a smoothie in the morning that's mostly spinach, chard, dandelion greens, parsley, cucumber and then a little non-alkaline fruit like banana and blueberry and man it makes me feel great. All that said, I've had the roughest stretch of my life outside of two years ago when my entire life collapsed about six months after getting HPPD. I have a thyroid issue, gastrointestinal problems, HPPD, broken bones in my foot, a pulled muscle in my abdomen, I've run through all my savings and can honestly barely make it through the day sometimes. One thing HPPD has taught me is to just keep going no matter how painful everything is on a daily basis. I feel I've damn near perfected the craft of living is absolute misery 24-7. I'm just happy I've made enough progress on the HPPD front to see the light at the end of the tunnel -- even though it's still far away.
  13. I refer to my meditation practice as "medicine for a modern world". Life can be really stressful at times. Relationships, jobs, money, desires, kids, politics, etc., etc. I think the gadgets we have make life more convenient while not allowing us to properly disconnect. Humans IMHO need this space to be well. Sorry to hear about your Grandmother. I lost my Grandfather 30 years ago and I still miss him. Tough being human.
  14. Earlier
  15. Pretty much puts the nail in the coffin for me at this point. We know have numerous studies showing proof of cell death from multiple hallucinogens. Now how we get this information to the general public is the real question... I don't get why the 5htp2a receptor needs to be activated in order for the cell death to occur though. That's serotonin, correct?
  16. So I havent really suffered with HPPD for that long, I can’t really remember how long its been because I never really took any notes of when I started getting ‘flashbacks’ (they werent very intense) but I’d say around 6 months. However, today I had the most intense flashback, I was sat in my art class and focusing on my work when a girl spoke to me and when I looked up I was tripping like mad. I just kind of stared at her because I didn’t know what to do because I couldn’t see straight at all, I was tripping more than I had on some very weak tabs. I went and told my girlfriend who laughed at first but then realised I was freaking out. The last time I took acid was about a month ago but the tabs were verrryy strong and on the come up I felt like my whole body was shaking/vibrating (which it wasn’t) which is the same feeling I got today. Normally when i get flashbacks they’ll be very brief and last about 10-15 mins but today it lasted 3 hours and colour is still very intense over 9 hours later, which I’ve never experienced before. I’m not too sure if a trip this long is normal as this is my first time having such an intense and scary experience. I called my doctors mid way through the trip who put me on the phone with a mental health specialist (even though I told them I didn’t think I was related to my depression) and he told me not to drink coffee and was just very arsy about the fact that I had taken acid at all. (For reference I’ve taken LSD on several occasions, 25i-NBOME three times, MDMA several times, and 2cii) I’vd made an appointment but I don’t think my doctor will be of much help because I know it’s not a widely known disorder and he didn’t seem to know much about it when I was on the phone. After doing more research today I found that some people experience depersonalisation with HPPD and I think that it might be linked to my mental health recently. I’m not too sure how to describe it but I constantly feel out of place, kind of like an out of body experience but not in a spiritual way, in an uncomfortable dream like state. It’s not constant and will spike from time to timw but I think that the disassociation may be HPPD, again I’m not too sure but the symptoms for both have progressively got worse at the same speed and with the same intensity. Sorry if this doesn’t make a lot of sense but any replies would be very much appreciated, I’m just a bit nervous at the moment and I’m just worried that my flashback today was more intense that a ‘notmal’ one.
  17. No, the article clearly shows that the excitotoxity is a result from 5htp2a receptor activation. did you even read the study?
  18. Never had a huge problem with this myself but I do know that anything in excess is bad and that too much of this can also mess people up emotionally, especially when young.
  19. Hey guys have you ever tried cannabis as an alternative medicine for your sick dogs? I've heard that CBD Hemp is now a thing for dogs with arthritis, compromised immune systems, stress responses, aggression and digestive issues.Well they said it was pretty safe because of the low THC, CBD hemp won’t make your pupper high.I was reading some info here about CBD here in would very much appreciate any ideas and advice regarding on this issue on dogs using cannabis as an alternative herbal medicine. Thanks in advance to those who'll answer.
  20. Glad you've pretty much recovered. I, too, consider this some form of PTSD brought on by HPA axis, hippocampal, and amygdalic dysfunction.
  21. "Wow I belong on this thread. I had no idea what a panic attack was or really what anxiety was until the height of my PMO addiction (edging for 5-8 hours almost everyday). Then one day in an instant I lost the vision in my right eye (my first migraine with visual aura) and simultaneously had a panic attack with extreme derealization. It was the scariest shit ever! I was at work and I got in my car to drive home. I called my wife and was trying to explain what was going on and I couldn't even talk. I couldn't figure out when to stop and when to go at the traffic lights. It felt like there was something in my brain that "snapped". From that day on, for about a year, I had absolutely the worst anxiety - unimaginable - a serious living hell. I would get awful visual snow during panic attacks. My hair started falling out. My eyes become absurdly sensitive to light and I had to wear sunglasses during the day at my office. I had derealization but not every moment of every day - it would just come and go at unpredictable times - in stores and in face-to-face conversations were the worst. I went to the ER thinking I had brain cancer or aneurysm. They did brain scan and nothing. Doctor prescribed me therapy visits. That's when I started to learn about depression and anxiety and how thoughts affect emotions. I was still PMOing but knew that was at least a big part of the problem.Someone else in this thread mentioned feeling like explosions of air or electrical buzz was happening in their brain. Yes!! Sometimes it was like there was a perfume bottle in my brain and someone was spritzing it. There would be "shifts" between areas of the brain that were buzzing.Ok so here's the deal: I have not masturbated or watched porn for almost 6 months - since August 17. I don't have panic attacks, I don't have depression or anxiety (there are occasional "flatlines" with depression/anxiety and that last about a week or so each time), I don't have visual snow, my hair grew back, I don't have any episodes with derealization, etc.... I'd say it took about 6 good weeks for symptoms to really clear up pretty good, then another 2 months or so before they were almost non-existent.Keep in mind that I've applied myself 100% toward reboot. For me reboot is bigger than just quitting porn and masturbation. It's about getting into proper, healthy shape mentally and emotionally. I take reboot very seriously. You can read my journal for a report of the progression of my reboot. Unfortunately, I didn't sign up for the NoFap sight until day 69 of my reboot, so there's no journal of the first 68 days.I have absolutely no doubt that quitting PMO is what made the difference for me. I hope you do whatever it takes to quit and find out for yourself. It's not easy but it's actually much harder to live with anxiety, panic attacks, depression, shame, derealization, etc.... I'm pulling for you!!"
  22. Yeah, but in order to have excitotoxicity the MDMA user has to overheat.
  23. "Life is suffering." G. Buddha, 2500 years ago
  24. btw - when I say that I don't think hppd is psychological, I am just refering to the visual disorder. I think anxiety and dp\dr are, at least in part, psychological.
  25. I think you're right.... I'm more and more starting to think that anxiety is a very natural side effect to the fucked up world we live in.
  26. They are two separate issues It's like saying that liver failure is a psychological problem because someone was psychologically addicted to alcohol. Other than the usual high school angst, I can say for sure that I didn't have deep seated psychological issues... I just fucking loved getting high
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