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Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder (HPPD) Support Forum

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  1. Today
  2. snowbaby

    Keppra or Lamictal?

    I haven’t tried Keppra, and am on lamictal currently. I came to my neuro asking for Keppra based on anecdotal evidence, but she urged me toward lamictal, as it has a very similar mechanism of action and fewer negative side effects. I am still on too low a dose to really judge its effectiveness, but I can confirm that, thus far, side effects have been very minimal.
  3. Hi friends — My experience with HPPD started about 4 1/2 years ago, with a single dose of MDMA. For me, my symptoms are: anxiety/panic, DP/DR, visual snow, flashing solid colors, some tinnitus, and seeing movement in geometric patterns. Also: I used to always be a “crier” and someone who feels their emotions very deeply. During the first few weeks of HPPD, I cried so much, some times out of misery, some times out of gratitude to still be alive, some times because I heard some beautiful music and felt connected to it. But then after a few weeks my emotionality faded, which I assume must have been a psychological coping mechanism. I was so overwhelmed with anxiety that I had to shut down emotionally to stay sane. So no more tears or feelings of meaningful connection. I still want to feel those cry-feels so bad!. Over the next two years I got better at managing my symptoms, but saw little to no improvement in them. I was still smoking weed often (my bad) & still couldn’t really FEEL, and my anxiety was off the charts 24/7. It was absolute hell every waking day. A little over two years ago I started on 10mg Celexa, and the improvement I saw in my anxiety levels was life changing. Not gone completely, but I started feeling significantly better and my anxiety attacks became fewer and farther between. Worked my way up to 20mg, which is my current dose. A few months ago I finally found a neuro who is actually familiar with HPPD, who added Lamictal, ramping up VERY slowly (I only got up to 37.5mg/day). In the first month (2 weeks on 12.5, 2 weeks on 25) I started to notice my visual symptoms clearing up slightly and my brain feeling a bit clearer. It was actually the best I had felt since before HPPD and I was excited to continue ramping up on the lamictal, hoping it might help get me to a place where I can really feel emotions aside from anxiety again. After that first month though, things started to get unpleasant again. Bouts of anxiety attacks, some good days, some very bad. It felt like I had been consistently alright for a while, but now my worst symptoms are pushing their way back in. I also developed minor muscle twitches every few minutes, which was completely new. I was prescribed Klonopin after a particularly bad anxiety attack and now I take 0.25mg when I feel myself getting panicky. I don’t like it, but it does keep me from panic. I quit smoking weed then (a few months ago), but that hasn’t helped. My hopeful suspicion is that perhaps I’m experiencing SSRI “poop out” with my Celexa, and could therefore ideally switch SSRIs and continue with lamictal. My neuro says the only way to know that for sure is to come back off the lamictal and see how it feels to just be on the Celexa again. Back down to 25 from 37.5 lamictal and feeling a bit worse actually, but my neuro says I need to get down to zero and wait two months to see what the deal really is. I’d much rather keep my lamictal dosage as is, and try switching to a different SSRI, as that just feels more “right” to me - but she’s the professional so ... If it turns out that I’m actually not tolerating lamictal well, I am interested in looking into sinemet... it seems to have been a wonder drug for some people here, but I would be very worried about developing dyskinesia, as I work in a field where that could ruin my career. No targeted questions here really, just looking to share relevant experiences/advice with other HPPD’ers. ❤️ PS: for anyone doing the ol’ downward mental spiral in these forums and feeling hopeless (like I used to), things WILL get better. I’m still having struggles but I’m not in hell like I used to be, and life is very worth living for me right now! I have my bachelors and masters degrees, a solid career at 25, wonderful friendships, and going by objective criteria, am a fully functional human being. You will be okay! Keep advocating for yourself!
  4. MadDoc

    Travelling with HPPD.

    Sweden is a wonderful country. Well, at least it was when I was there. I went to elementary school for a year in Stockholm. About ten years ago I visited again. Good people the Swedes.
  5. Yesterday
  6. Thebumpster

    Possible to get symptoms 10 months after tripping?

    When I had gone months without tripping.. after eating shrooms regularly and up to 14 grams at once as well as 8 hits of Lsd 3 grams an ecstasy pill and nitrous balloons. I was losing it. Seeing people for who they are without ever meeting them breathing walls carpets moving etc. I told my parents and they did whAt any parent would do. Psychiatrist. They thought I was trying to get Xanax and gave me some placebo drug sugar pill. It didn’t work. I even told them I thought I had HPPD. They hadn’t heard of it. It can be tough but finding a way into normal peoples existence is possible. I like to think of it as being a chameleon.
  7. Thebumpster

    Nervous and Confused

    First of all stop being wreckless with your tripping. Give it time to analyze your trips and grow as a person because of them. Don’t just eat Lsd cause your drunk, it’s a kinda sacred thing and if you treat it sloppily without The Who what when where and how it’s grounds for disaster. Get it right and the Magic that sticks with you will be positive. 👍🏻👍🏻👽
  8. Jagermeister

    Travelling with HPPD.

    & thanks for your advice @MadDoc. I know talk english, but I think I know writte it better. I want to go to Sweden. Until I know, there are lot of people who talks english and this is good, but I hadn't never before go to other country lonely. Just want to go to get relax and looking for new experiences, meet Zlatan house (I love Zlatan Ibrahimovic, football player) and meet a girl from there.
  9. Thebumpster

    Faces of HPPD

    I would say people need to do like I have done and suck it up and embrace it. Enjoy the sunsets with watery eyes and remember that certain angles of the kneck with lack of O2 result in momentary hallucinations. We didn’t eat a ton of Lsd or mushrooms to be normal. In the moment you don’t notice it. The minds eye is so connected to the body that the human eyes cannot help but have residual memory. 😬
  10. Thebumpster

    AKA amoebavision

    I find it interesting that that this term isn’t used more. Heavy past of psychedelics. Can’t see getting it from just marijuana unless combined with other substances. Sometimes it’s hard to get “normals” to relate...
  11. Jagermeister

    Travelling with HPPD.

    Thanks Mad. I mean any bad thing about fly on a plane. I really not feel anxious at all, I've been symptom free for one year now (talking about depersonalization & derealization). I was wondering if fly on a plan could affects hppd.
  12. Hey guys, just wanted to start this thread as I've started taking a generic form of levetiracetam (keppra) just over a month ago. We started dosing at 250mg twice daily, then moved up to 500mg twice daily, and are now at 750mg taken BID, once at 8 am and once at 8 pm. I should note that with my hppd I experienced quite allot of effects that would be considered schizzoaffective; unusual and uncontrollable thoughts which I had no ability to regulate, involuntary body and eye movements etc. I've been through the ringer with different meds that I've been on in the past, ultimately it took allot of convincing for my psychiatrist to finally be willing to let me try levetiracetam. However after showing him the case study that was done on keppra, he was willing to let me give it a go. The first month that I was on it, I initially felt an increase in psychotic symptoms, and irritability etc. However about 3 weeks in, and after my dosage increase to 1000 mg these symptoms began to stabilize, and I started getting used to the medication. Now we are about a month and a week into treatment, and are at 1500 mg a day. I no longer have uncontrollable schizzoaffective symptoms, and am now pretty much in complete control of my thoughts. Depersonalization and derealization have improved by 70-80%, and visual symptoms are improved by an easy 50%. I sometimes supplement with either Klonopin, alprazolam, or zopiclone, however this is never done at a frequency of more than once or twice per week. Moreover I've completely ceased the use of any other drugs or medications, sticking to a clean regimen of strictly levetiracetam and minor spaced out use of benzos. Il keep this thread updated, fingers crossed that my symptoms continue to improve over the course of the next year, as they have been steadily 😊 Don't give up guys, my life has become easily livable with the regimen that im on now, which is something I could not say about the last 2 years of my life that I've been affected by hppd.
  13. MadDoc

    Travelling with HPPD.

    For work I travel to the Czech Republic roughly every three months. The first trip anywhere, for anyone, can be anxious. Most of the people you encounter in Europe speak english. If that's your primary language it shouldn't be a problem. Just relax and take it as it comes. Keep reminding yourself everything will be ok. The world has gotten smaller and foreign lands are familiar. In Prague Starbucks is a common sight. Traveling on a plane can be an anxious experience. I load music that I love on my phone and try to forget where I am. Yes, planes are weird, but they're very safe. Airports a just a pain in the ass, but if you stay calm, they're easy to navigate. Enjoy your travels. Having this disorder doesn't mean you can't have a wonderful journey.
  14. Last week
  15. Jagermeister

    Travelling with HPPD.

    Hi guys. I would like to hear those who have travelled on a plane. I'm looking for a destiny to go in Europe next month, and I'll go on a plane. Any bad effects by traveling or flying on a plane? Ty!
  16. MadDoc

    Nervous and Confused

    Youre not panicking yet, and try not to. Panicking solves nothing and you need to approach what you're dealing with in a rational manner You've dosed a lot over a short period of time so it's not surprising that you're having some visual wierdness. I used to take sizable doses and it would leave the world a bit strange afterwards. My one piece of advice is to stop dosing. I can't stress this enough. Give yourself some time to level out so you can make a clear headed evaluation of your being. You mention you're afraid of being sober. I used to think psychedelics were an answer. I was wrong. After I stopped dosing, and after drinking too much for a while, I finally got my sobriety to take hold and it was the best decision I ever made. I'm not saying you should never drink, or never smoke a joint again. What I am saying is don't be afraid of sobriety. Sometimes it's tough being human but the crap life can throw at you is much more manageable with a clear head. Understand that hppd can be a severe disorder. I'm not saying you have it, I'm not qualified to do that. If you're in the minority susceptible to this disorder, the fewer times you dose, the better. I'm not a medical professional nor am I an expert when it comes to hppd. I'm an old guy who, when he was young, dosed heavily for too long I have visuals to this day. I wish I had the sense to stop dosing when I was young. Hang in there and take care of yourself.
  17. KrysaBelial

    Nervous and Confused

    I haven't really talked to anyone about this before and I'm not quite sure where I should start, so please bear with me. I'm 19, and I only started tripping very recently (March 26 was the first time I tried acid), but in the short time that's passed since then I've tripped somewhere around 10-12 times. I had my first bad trip because I was at the start of a very dufficult depressive episode and I thought that maybe I could escape if I just took all of the acid I had at once. I took 5 or 6 tabs, way more than i had ever done at the same time. Not only did I black out after hours of pacing around my room in a disorienting haze, but I had also just started prozac that week, so I started going into serotonin syndrome and had to be sent to the ER. After that I developed a healthy fear of psychedelics and swore never to touch them again. However, naturally, the very next week I came home after drinking way too much with my best friend and made the stupid choice to take 4 tabs. I have never felt such an intense and unwavering sense of existential dread. I was huddled up in a dark corner for what felt like a literal eternity, trying to decide whether I'd died or if I wished I were dead so it could just be over. I couldn't remember what it was supposed to feel like just to exist, but I knew that what I was feeling then was horribly wrong. I've tripped 3 times since then, and since the last two I've sometimes noticed textures on walls shifting, as well as some objects like lamps or windows seeming to subtly expand and retract like they're breathing. I'd already been dealing with dp/dr as symptoms of my depression, but those two bad trips only made that worse. I'm not panicking yet because it hasn't reached a point where it's crippling yet, but I'm getting kind of nervous. I'm afraid of getting sober and all the things that come with it, but I'm horrified of ending up stuck in that bad trip again. I just don't know what to do.
  18. jbalsa2

    Mirtazapine and HPPD

    @Onemorestep am just on keppra now. Im going to hold off on posting any threads, and stay on keppra for a full year. So far after 1 month and 1000mg split twice daily I've noticed a drastic decrease in DP/DR and about a 30% improvement in visual snow and visual symptoms. Increasing to 1500mg daily tomorrow. Im going to stay on just keppra for a full year, fingers crossed a year of this can cure my hppd, as my symptoms are already hugely improved. 😊
  19. K.B.Fante

    Bacopa Brahmi ?

    I thought bacopa made me feel pretty good, if I remember correctly. It was one of the few things I tried that I thought helped and didn't worsen symptoms. I used to take it every day but in small doses. From my experience almost anything can worsen symptoms in large quantities, even stuff that's really good for you. The key to any HPPD treatment is to take it easy and not overload the brain with too much of anything.
  20. MadDoc

    negative

    (Edit) I didn't realize the original post was from three years ago. OK, so I'm a bit of a space. There is always hope. I don't think there is an adult alive who hasn't had their heart broken. It can plunge anyone into depression but add hppd symptoms to the mix and it can be rough. There's someone out there for you, you just haven't crossed paths yet. Testimonial time. I'm an older guy who has been on this planet for almost 60 years. Over time, most of my symptoms have gone away. I still live with visuals but they don't bother me much anymore. People with hppd can be successful, happy, raise families, get a higher education, and so forth. We have a disability and like any other person with a disability, we can move forward with life and have a wonderful time doing it. Never give up. There is always hope.
  21. MadDoc

    any advice?

    First off relax and don't focus on the symptoms too much. If you've only smoked weed a few times, things will probably level out given some time. As the previous post said, be patient. It can take a while. Try to stay focused. For me being focused really helps. School, a hobby, reading, etc. Keep the brain engaged. Personally, I can't touch cannabis. It's not for everybody. You've learned that weed isn't for you, and fortunately, you learned this early on. I wish I had done the same with my psychedelic use. Hang in there and take care.
  22. olivier24445

    Cure for Palinopsia

    Following this , you can say now you don't have visual snow anymore at all ?? This could make sense to me, it's like training the brain again to eliminate the noise. Like all training , it needs practice to work, question is, can you make it definitive.
  23. Jagermeister

    negative

    Three years later, I have to say thanks you, Shadowplay. I'm now really good. I feel normal again and visuals have reduced to the point I can't notice them. So, one day 3 years before you gave me hope and today I come here to thank you a lot what you said. I didn't even remember this post. But I'm just reading my old comments, now that I feel good again. Definitely, there is hope after hppd.
  24. Onemorestep

    Bacopa Brahmi ?

    I’ve taken it for a few weeks. I stopped because it was making me antisocial weirdly enough. Before that happened, I found it quite pleasant. No increase in any symptoms. 😕 alas this is the beast that is hppd—we all react differently to things.
  25. Thank you for the advice, if it gets better I’ll let u know guys
  26. Donovan

    any advice?

    Thanks.
  27. Anyone has experience with it ? I tried it and so far I have seen a worsening in my symptoms. I don't know if I should take it longer than a few days to see changes but so far, VS is worse and so does after images etc... So, anyone tried it ?
  28. dayum_son

    any advice?

    I can't say about how long it will last, however what I can say is to not take any drugs, sleep well and try to distract yourself once you start noticing the snow. There is no real way of getting rid of it apart from waiting. The weird dreams are normal I think, I've been having them since HPPD settled in. Weird is one thing but they feel very real. Colors, sounds, smells and touch, I can feel/see all of those in my sleep. Stay strong my friend, it will subside eventually.
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