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  4. Hey guys, My doctor prescribed me lamictal yesterday and as pretty much all of you know, it's one of the more highly regarded medication out there for this condition. My hppd is actually very bearable, the only time I struggle is when I'm alone in the house where the lsd trip happened, which leads me to a few questions. If I decide to take it, and my hppd gets better/worse/stays the same, if I stop taking it will I return to baseline? Has anyone else taken this med?
  5. as well as all this.. have "made something" for all of you HPPD sufferers... (all will be revealed soon) also... , I will be publishing a book involving much of "my story" and life journey.
  6. always make something of myself, champion athlete, coach , author, business owner.. etc etc ...... fucking tough times... tho I always keep on keeping on... and don't argue for my limitations.. I'm "superman" an ordinary individual would not last a day "in my body"....
  7. "even Jay" I've never banned anyone, never moderated anyone (the fact this post still exists should be testament to that) and, more to the point, I'm in no way against LSD/Shrooms... We just got unlucky, but I still think they are beautiful molecules that have great lessons to teach.... they just have a big risk factor that shouldn't be ignored. If anyone else wants to take over running this site (and paying for it)... step forward, It's no easy work, especially the PMs when someone is about to take their life. I have no fixation to be some kind of leader of the people, i'm probably one of the most flawed people here .
  8. Hello all. I go by J. About a year and 2 months ago, I drank a full bottle of Delsym 12 hour (I believe it was a 5-ounce bottle, with 800mgs or so of Dextromethorphan Polistirex). I didn't really think about dosage or how high I would be for how long, I just chugged it down in a self-destructive, lazy attempt to get high. Following this, I went out with friends. I went to a local pizza place, and that's where it kicked in. For me, one of the telltale signs of a DXM is looking in the mirror and not being able to recognize myself. This happened while staring at a reflective window in the pizza shop, so I knew it had worked. The night went relatively well, even when I got urged by friends to do a stand up at an impromptu comedy show thing, managing to do it somewhat well. When I went home, though, the problems started. I should state that, at the time, I was a junior in high school. My usual routine was to hang out early, get fucked up, and try to come down in a timely manner so when I had to go home I would at least be functional. I had made a mistake, though, in that I was wildly high when I had gotten home, about 6 hours after drinking the bottle. I had school the next day, so I thought maybe I could just sleep it off. When I laid down, however, it only got worse. It started with my vision, as I began to see visuals. It wasn't anything intense, just some spirals of light and some "breathing" of walls, but it was not something I had experienced in the 2 prior times I had taken DXM, albeit at much lower doses. I began to feel semi panicky, but in the words of my idol, "buy the ticket, take the ride". Things went on like this for a few hours, until I got a burning sensation in my abdomen. It was sort of like when you touch something uncomfortably hot, but prolonged. This was worrying because I couldn't find any literature about this on Google, which in my mind was the first sign I was dying. I hopped to the bathroom in a weird, involuntary jerk, hobbling there. I then peed one of the darkest orange pees I've ever had and then immediately threw up. This is what the night would turn into, with the visuals getting progressively darker the whole time. Each time I would get up, I noticed more and more how off everything was. My whole vision was starting to turn, and when I paid attention seemed like turning the FOV high in a game or a dolly zoom. It felt like the world was turning, and then, all the sudden, my vision blacked out, like an old TV turning off, with everything condensing into a small point before going dark. To be fair, this may have just been me passing out or falling asleep, but when I could see again this did not register. At this moment, I was sure I was dying. I was 100% positive my body was dying and my brain was too. At this point, one of the weirder things I noticed was that unless the lights were off everything became a blotchy iridescent spot, like when you stare at the sun for too long. I think this is called photo-bleaching, but it didn't make sense. Whenever I got the chance to look in the mirror at my fake self (or whatever a good name for the DXM mirror person would be), I always looked to see both signs of jaundice, as I thought maybe my liver failed and that's why I was dying, and to see if my eyes were dilated, in case my father woke up and caught me. I never noticed it though. This whole experience went on for 2 days, or at least 48 hours straight. I had suffered some sort of nervous breakdown, I think because I was lost completely, especially as I went back to school and everything began to get weird. After this, for about 2 weeks, I both couldn't feel the lower hemisphere of my body (or get erections) and continued to get the sunspot thing. Another thing that happened, although I can't quantify it, was that everything looked off. It was like my depth perception and size comparison got shut off. I tried to tell my friends and even described how I thought I needed to go to the hospital. They all reminded me that it was A.) Probably just afterglow or maybe serotonin syndrome and B.) My dad would kill me if he found out. I took this into consideration and waited it out. The next many months were interesting, as I began to adjust to my weird vision. I developed alcoholism in the winter months, drinking nearly every night. I started to, with some pattern, smoke weed. I began to intensely smoke cigarettes. I survived a suicide attempt brought on by extreme depression. Now, nearly 18 and with finals wrapping up senior year, I've reached a new point. My vision is either fixed, to some extent, or I've adapted to it. My depression went away, and now I only irregularly drink and smoke weed (in party settings) and smoke cigarettes and drink caffeine. I have a steady job and grades are good. I still have some problems though. - I've developed some sort of panic disorder/HPPD after that trip. Every small thing that happens, whether it be a small hiccup while swallowing or anything, leads to this awful onset of panic attacks that bring on more physical symptoms, strange convulsions, spasms, etc., which cycle into worse panic attacks. It's kept me from sleeping almost every night since then. - I still have visual effects, not unlike described symptoms of HPPD. I have perma-tracers, not noticeable unless it's dark. Anything contrasted, colors, light v dark, etc., shakes violently around against each other. Staring at any one thing for too long turns it into static, like a kaleidoscope but with no borderlines. It is really distracting and limits my concentration. As these two problems persist and get worse (and new ones arise), I've come to the conclusion that I have HPPD and some mild general anxiety disorder. As I move closer to college and my adult life, I am trying to find solutions to these issues which I believe are fixable. That's why I've come here, and I hope people can help me and vice versa along my path recovery. Cheers, J.
  9. Have you made something of yourself or did you succumb to this God awful disorder?
  10. I am back to apologise to everyone and even Jay. I got angry because I feel some people talk like we are bad people and druggies just because we took a psychedelia. I was just mad because the old forum was a place for honest discussion without judgement, but the new forum feels like something coming from the police that always exhorts that psychedelics are evil. You knew what you were getting into when you took a psychedelic. You are adults. You know it can be risky, but 99 percent comes out healthy. Why would you curse the shrooms and LSD like that if you even had the slightest knowledge of it`s power?
  11. Yesterday
  12. Olá @exaciduser, vi que você é brasileira. É muito difícil encontrar alguém aqui que seja do Brasil. Eu não sou muito experiente a respeito do hppd, tenho os sintomas a cerca de um ano. Se quiser, entre em contato comigo por aqui, me mande uma mensagem para que possamos conversar mais a respeito. Continue firme, até logo .
  13. hey there---- we are the same person hehehe  :)

  14. Just wanted to drop a line and say helloo to the many HPPD endures, old and new.... I have not logged in here for years... tho have many fond memories of the moderators etc I used to be "oldschoolar, and before that "benza.. and likely before that it was the storm loader web site. oh yes and must-be-a-way-to-heal etc etc I still have Bad HPPD, nothing has changed unfortunately.. Its like my 29th year. I will likely try a new med soon lol... Wishing everyone best regards... and keep on keeping on..
  15. Last week
  16. Maybe someone tried Electroconvulsive therapy? Heard that it helps for others
  17. Even before I had HPPD I was able to see patterned surfaces morph and swirl just by staring at them for a few seconds. I don't think the power of the mind can be understated -- if you're consciously looking for visuals, you'll often end up finding them (or synthesizing them subconsciously). My advice to you would be to try to break the habit of "testing" your vision and to stay away from HPPD forums. Reading about other people's symptoms and over-analyzing is a vicious cycle.
  18. Quick update, I've been taking cbd the last couple days, came off lithium which I started taking a little over a month ago, and had a 22oz beer and the visuals were completely gone. I stared at the wood grain table at outback and normally the dark parts of the grain would move a little side to side but it didn't no matter how long I stared. Weird but awesome. I'll take it
  19. I was diagnosed with mild nystagmus which I know wasn't something I had before the trip. It's kind of just the natural outlines of the pattern already on the texture comes out and lightly moves side to side for a couple seconds then stops. Definitely have to stare my way into a little trance tho lol for it to happen. If it's a ceiling with paint dots on it no pattern comes out the dots just move a little side to side. If I stare at the oven or my phone it doesn't happen ever. Just stuff with distinctive patterns, also a granite counter top I think does it slightly too
  20. Hard to say. I'd suggest just staying clean for a while to see if it improves. Not too much time has elapsed since your last dose. Give your head some time to bounce back. Also, getting an eye exam is never a bad idea. Are you just seeing some motion or are patterns forming? When I look at a surface designs, shapes, patterns start to form out of nothing. That's me though, we're all different.
  21. ... I'm really recovered, and take the risk again of try any drug, is the last thing I would do. I tryed once, gave me months of rellapse, so, no, definitely not
  22. ive heard of people getting hppd and then using drugs again one it went away have u guys ever heard of anyone smoking weed again that all i want tnh
  23. Hey I'm new here, just signed up a couple weeks ago. I had a really bad trip on what I think was acid, liquid dropped from the vile on sour patch kids, didn't taste anything except the sour patch kids. It's been about 3 months since then and the first couple days afterward I felt intensely spiritually connected/enlightened and if I tried to drink alcohol it gave me intense anxiety. A little over a month ago drinking was fine again and if anything helped my symptom. I don't have visual snow or any of that, my only symptom is if I stare for 5-10 seconds at a carpet or ceiling or tile floor with simple patterns or just dots on it it will start to move left then right then left again then stop or if I readjust my eyes it stops. It only happens if I look for it. Wondering if this is hppd or anxiety or normal visual disturbance that I'm now noticing because I know wat to look for. I have complex ptsd and the previous trips up until that one were decently positive. Thanks in advance!
  24. dooo i have a chance of getting better if i go healthy and stop smoking
  25. has anyone ever gotten 100% better without hhaving to stop smoke ive had it for a month wake up with static vision and miving ceiling and curtins any one help me please
  26. Same friend, I have trouble retaining information while I'm reading, I can read it, if I'm not paying attention I won't know what I read. I have to really close read to get a full understanding of what I read.
  27. I've heard of some people having head tremors and legs, I've even read of some people having seizures because of it, but yeah good idea I've been thinking about seeing a doctor about it.
  28. ive had hppd for about a month weed use still and id like to know what supplements i should get or if i should stop smoking weed and cigarettes will i ever be brtter? symptoms: headaches moving objects halos on lightse etc
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