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Ten o'clock at Night

AmyMarie

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The time is approximately ten o’clock at night. The darkness outside is still and peaceful. I am in my bedroom with lit variety hanging lights. My room is cleaned up and sanitized. A music playlist I created is playing aloud on my laptop. I gather my cup full of juice along with my ecstasy. Down they both go. I sit down on my bed and adjust the pillows to support my back. My mind travels off in my readings. As the night grew, so do my senses. My spirit opens. My mind is awake. Every moment I concentrate on a playing song, it persists slower. It becomes creepy, because the voices of the vocalists got a bit deeper. The lights around my place seem to be bursting outwards. I can see more into my peripheral vision than I ever have before. I can see more out of my eyes. If I stared at the walls, they will seem like they are breathing. I know I am not in my dimension anymore.

Looking back at my keyboard, the keys are switching places by shifting side to side. Or curve to the screen. Good thing I know how to type without looking at this keyboard illusion. Typing suddenly is a difficult task. The words will slip right out of my mind, and back in with a few letters. I do not care; I feel Zen. I look upon articles online for research over harmful effects of what I am on. Organizations reveal that MDMA, the active chemical of ecstasy, causes liver damage and possible neurotoxicity.

The screen of my laptop begins to double outwards and the words become difficult to read. The reading session ends there. Setting my laptop down, my arm has it’s own trailing images following it. Looking back up, I notice a fly is in my room, because there are long black lines with a fading tail swirling all across my vision. I kill the nuisance with a fly swatter. This makes me wonder, does this drug, make us see more frames of vision than the average human? This music, how time-consuming it seems to be, but when I look at the time the song plays the same seconds as it should.

I get up to walk to the restroom. I practice walking, because my sight of my feet appears unreal. Displaying unreal that my legs seem taller than they once were. Shuffling to the bathroom I look in the mirror and I notice my eyes are dilated. It was clear; I was on an illicit drug. I go back to my room and all my lights are swirling uncontrollably. I look away and look back and it stops. I lay back on my bed. Closing my eyes, I lose myself in the display of moving lines intersecting with one another. Slumber arose suddenly and unexpectedly.

I wake up early in the morning. The brightness of the room follows as I move my eyes. I get up quickly in alarm. Never in any trip have I still tripped in the morning. Every color in my room is not a solid color. The color has different shades of itself as the color displays. This leads to color confusion. My vision has burned in negative images from where I look and look away. The more I uncover the more I notice. The blankets on my bed would not seem to stay still, but look like it is going in waves. That goes for every object I concentrated at. The list goes on for what my eyes endure. Anger fills me. I feel like falling asleep while hallucinating caused all this mess. I fix my hair. Walking downstairs in disbelief and despair, I find myself breakfast. Days and nights go on. A year passes. What I see have never disappeared. The images keep coming back assorted.


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Hey my name's Brandon I'm 22 and I too have hppd. I was wondering, when you see these visual disturbances how do you cope with them. Do you ignore them/laugh it off kind of way or do you give into it and only worry about it at that moment?

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